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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Letter to my dearest town’s Mayor
Thread: Letter to my dearest town’s Mayor
regnus_khan
regnus_khan


Responsible
Supreme Hero
[ Peacekeeper of Equilibris ]
posted March 21, 2004 05:03 PM
Edited By: regnus_khan on 24 Mar 2004

Letter to my dearest town’s Mayor

Hey, my dear friends. Look what I’ve got here. I sent a letter to the mayor and he replied back. What do you think? It’s outrageous!


Mayor of Asylum,

I happily announce you and a troglodyte husband and wife. May you be cursed as long as you live!

Your tiny pet Black Dragon has ruined our city while farting outside the cave. How do explain this?

Your daughter from the first marriage, Megadragon, will be disintegrated soon, not to mention her shield will be cut off before.

I’m very sorry for killing the medusas, but I think that they all had an awful hair-do when they looked at the mirror in a monthly fashion show.

Evil eyes, which ACCIDENTALLY shocked my wife, will suffer a painful death.

It’s outrageous! Your minotaurs had mated with all of our cows, so we have only ugly mino-cows left!

Argh! I’ll freeze efreets to death, because they burned my tongue yesterday!

My mother sends this ugly ooze just to award you for your help in the campaign guide when you led her to the Orc Towers. They laughed at her, so she got mad and slayed them with our forks.

Also, I would like to cut your ugly neck just because I lost a card-game against you!

Then, I’d surely like to complain about your not peaceful villagers. I give a 50 gold penalty to: bandits, because they stole all our gold; nightmares, because they ate my lunch; pirates because they insulted me and to Mayor (to you) just because I hate you.

And finally, I will slay the heads of the Hydra, because she destroyed my manor when she tried to stuff her ugly heads through the window just to smell my wife’s pie!

God bless me, I’ll kill ya!

Have an unpleasant day!

Yours tongue-in-cheek,

regnus_khan




Not-dear, regnus_khan,

I thank for your kindness by announcing me and a troglodyte as a wife, but I think you should marry her. She looks the same as you only female.

Sorry, for my pet. He’s crazy today, not to mention your own phoenix, which burnt my bed today.

I do not accept your apology here. I will disintegrate yourself if you do this to me!

My friends’ hair-do is good, while your friends’ hair-do reminds me off a pile of fresh, stinky oh-oh.

Evil eyes just have a bad day hitting targets. They wanted to hit you, sorry.

Mino-cows sound good. Maybe mighty-moos are better?

Nah-nah-nah-nah-naah-naaah! You won’t hit them, they fly too fast.

Thanks for the ooze. It has a funny taste, though, I liked it.

I’m not guilty! I didn’t cheat! While you tried to change the deck, nasty cheater.

I’d give you not a penalty, but a prize of 10,000 gold if you could shut your mouth.

Slay the Hydra if you want. I will tame a new one or steal yours.

Devil curse you, I’ll kiss ya!

Not yours, but sincerely,

Mayor



This is a nice chat between two Asylums. This chat is everyday language, but only in this town.

Now think, what would happen if this was happening everywhere. Geez!

That's almost the same as saying that I got a toothache when I surely got a soar throat.

Anyway, I got the newest news about this:

MAYOR: Hello, fat guy?

REGNUS: Please, shut up.

MAYOR: Why?

REGNUS: Because your tongue is too toad-like.

MAYOR: Yeah? Your mother stinks like a recycle bin.

REGNUS: Hmmm... Maybe... But maybe you should speak about yours one... Then enlightened mino-cow!

MAYOR: ReallY? Maybe it applies to you. As so is this: your dress is too awful.

REGNUS: I do not wear dresses, crackpot. I wear robes.

MAYOR: Psychotic doctor...

REGNUS: Billy goat...

MAYOR: Blower of the Wind...

REGNUS: Snake-like nosed guy...

MAYOR: Pig...

REGNUS: Bonehead...


These rows are endless. You'll find more of them soon. Beware.

____________

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terje_the_ma...
terje_the_mad_wizard


Responsible
Supreme Hero
Disciple of Herodotus
posted March 25, 2004 10:57 AM

Not to be rude or anything; I ask this out of simple curiosity:

Is ther a point to this?
____________
"Sometimes I think everyone's just pretending to be brave, and none of us really are. Maybe pretending to be brave is how you get brave, I don't know."
- Grenn, A Storm of Swords.

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Celfious
Celfious


Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
posted March 25, 2004 11:16 AM
Edited By: Celfious on 25 Mar 2004

Quote:
give a 50 gold penalty to: bandits, because they stole all our gold

lol


meanwhile and not according.
surely the spam worlders unite. and hold the secret key to the true definitions.

but I stoped them! They may not lay claim to these shallow letters.

And I asked them..

what they said was

THEM -  "You shouldn'ts"
ME -   K but I might aswell-no one cares
THEM - Blast he has started

and im like man..


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doomnezeu
doomnezeu


Supreme Hero
Miaumiaumiau
posted March 25, 2004 12:09 PM

And this thread is still in the Land of Anxeoth? Geeeez!
____________

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Lich_King
Lich_King


Honorable
Supreme Hero
posted March 25, 2004 12:11 PM

Well it is Homm4 related, isn't it ?
____________

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BURCUSH
BURCUSH


Known Hero
Blood Captain of the Vampires
posted March 25, 2004 12:18 PM

What an enormous stupidity.......BTW...is this the How to get bored topic?

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Lich_King
Lich_King


Honorable
Supreme Hero
posted March 25, 2004 12:23 PM

I hope that wasn't me... ... stupid...

Well... honestly I did expected something other and I was still waiting to see what will happen with this topic. However I was hoping for something else.

Moving to Tavern
____________

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doomnezeu
doomnezeu


Supreme Hero
Miaumiaumiau
posted March 25, 2004 12:43 PM

Good job, Lichey!
____________

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Nimrod_The_D...
Nimrod_The_Dark_Elf


Known Hero
PoStEr Of BaBeS
posted March 25, 2004 12:57 PM

lichy boy...

i didnt get it. is that a real letter u sent to ur mayor??
____________
[naked Girl]

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regnus_khan
regnus_khan


Responsible
Supreme Hero
[ Peacekeeper of Equilibris ]
posted March 25, 2004 12:59 PM

No, it's something i re-edited when I copied it from the net. My name, few things.

Though, it is messed up. Nobody likes it *starts crying*
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Lich_King
Lich_King


Honorable
Supreme Hero
posted March 25, 2004 01:00 PM

Quote:
lichy boy...

i didnt get it. is that a real letter u sent to ur mayor??


Eh ?
____________

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regnus_khan
regnus_khan


Responsible
Supreme Hero
[ Peacekeeper of Equilibris ]
posted March 25, 2004 02:27 PM

Quote:

i didnt get it. is that a real letter u sent to ur mayor??


Was that question dedicated to me?

____________

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Nimrod_The_D...
Nimrod_The_Dark_Elf


Known Hero
PoStEr Of BaBeS
posted March 25, 2004 02:39 PM

silly me

there i  go , confusing u guys..
lichy boy just popped into my mind!
and i wrote it

yes, the Q was to u kahn,,,  and u answered it!
so, problem out of the world

____________
[naked Girl]

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