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| Thread: Dictionary Of Men's Sayings And What They Mean |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted June 29, 2004 01:33 PM |
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Dictionary Of Men's Sayings And What They Mean
Well things have been quite in HC so i decided to whip up this little guide on what men really mean when we say certain things.
I’m Going Fishing
"I'm going to drink myself stupid, stand by a lake with a stick in my hand while the fish swim by in complete safety."
It’s A Guy Thing
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
Uh Huh, Sure Honey, or Yes, Dear
Absolutely nothing. It's a natural response.
It Would Take Too Long To Explain
"I have no idea how it works or what I'm trying to explain."
We’re Going To Be Late
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
That’s Interesting Dear
"Are you still talking?"
It’s A Really Good Movie
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."
You Know How Bad My Memory Is
"I remember the ID number of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
I Was Just Thinking About You And Got You These Roses
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
Don’t Worry, I Just Cut Myself. No Big Deal
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
I Have My Reasons For What I’m Doing
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
I Cant Find It
"It wasn’t in the immediate vicinity, so I'm completely clueless."
What Did I Do This Time
"What did you catch me at? Which time?"
I Heard You
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said. I’m just hoping I can get it out of you.”
You Know I Couldn’t Love Anyone Else
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
You Look Terrific
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm hungry."
We’re Not Lost. I Know Exactly Where We Are
"No one will ever see us alive again."
I decided to add this little guide on why wonen have it easy, and us men have it hard 
BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN
* You can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
* You can cry and get off speeding fines.
* Free drinks, free dinners, free movies.
* You don't have to fart to amuse yourselves.
* If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
* You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there.
* You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
* Chocolate really can solve all your problems.
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted June 29, 2004 01:39 PM |
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Nice one DS - mundo amusing 
Try this one:
This is an actual extract from a Home Economics textbook printed in the early 60's.
When retiring to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be lead by your husband's wishes, do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.
EDIT: I'd like to see Peacemaker's reaction to this
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted June 29, 2004 02:59 PM |
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awww why wasnt i born back then?
Quote:
Free drinks, free dinners, free movies.
Dunno about you, but when im going to the movie with the 2 girls tonight they will be getting me food from McD, they will buy the drinks&popcorn at the movie... seems like i have to pay for the movie itself though.. damn ya being a girl must be better
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted June 30, 2004 01:21 AM |
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Quote:
Well things have been quite in HC so i decided to whip up this little guide on what men really mean when we say certain things.
I’m Going Fishing
"I'm going to drink myself stupid, stand by a lake with a stick in my hand while the fish swim by in complete safety."Most of the time it means I am going with the guys somewhere like to the bar or game or even fishing then with you .
It’s A Guy Thing
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." Mostly somethang women just dont understand.
Uh Huh, Sure Honey, or Yes, Dear
Absolutely nothing. It's a natural response.No it's a get to the point I dont want to hear the whole dang story from start to finish I just want you to get to the point lol.
It Would Take Too Long To Explain
"I have no idea how it works or what I'm trying to explain."I have no explanation lol.
We’re Going To Be Late
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."I have other plans 
That’s Interesting Dear
"Are you still talking?"Thats not interesting at all & can you please shut up lol.Like we would ever say that to her lol.
It’s A Really Good Movie
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."
You Know How Bad My Memory Is
"I remember the ID number of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."It happens when it only comes to somethang that interests you lol.
I Was Just Thinking About You And Got You These Roses
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."Or the flowers next door they were growing lol.
Don’t Worry, I Just Cut Myself. No Big Deal
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
I Have My Reasons For What I’m Doing
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
I Cant Find It
"It wasn’t in the immediate vicinity, so I'm completely clueless."
What Did I Do This Time
"What did you catch me at? Which time?"Even when you dont do nothing, women are never satisfied unloess they have somethang to B about even if it has nothing to do with ya lol.
I Heard You
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said. I’m just hoping I can get it out of you.”Or just dont want to hear you & sya I heard you when she stops talking lol.
You Know I Couldn’t Love Anyone Else
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."Beat me up I still love ya lol
You Look Terrific
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm hungry."
We’re Not Lost. I Know Exactly Where We Are
"No one will ever see us alive again."Or a map from a different country 
I decided to add this little guide on why wonen have it easy, and us men have it hard
BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN
* You can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
* You can cry and get off speeding fines.
* Free drinks, free dinners, free movies.
* You don't have to fart to amuse yourselves.
* If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
* You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there.
* You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
* Chocolate really can solve all your problems.
I will reply off your answers to see if i can add the more real responses.
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Dreaming of a Better World
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SapphireRavyn
Promising
Famous Hero
Bird of Extreme Patience
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posted June 30, 2004 02:41 PM |
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Very funny Dragon_slayer, thanks for the laugh and you are oh so right on base on a lot of those. I have heard a couple of them first hand and yea, LOL
Asmodean 
I don't think I have ever read a bigger load of horse crap in my life. Were people REALLY that clueless?!? Thank GOD I was born when I was! Love, honor and obey, my arse! I didn't do a real good job of "obeying" my momma when I was a kid, and she was looking out for my best interests, I'm sure as hay not going to obey some man that is looking out for his own! Although I am really lucky there, I have a very good husband.
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It's not who wins or losses that matters, it's how you play the game. Honor before all else!
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Orion
Known Hero
Dark God of Ordered Chaos
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posted July 01, 2004 04:33 PM |
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good god how could the husband himself put up with a person like tah i am a very power hungry person and i like to be in control but a little bit of will power and resistance is a good thing mindless slaves get boring after a while so why any guy would encourage it is beyond me
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Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for it bends to my will
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted July 02, 2004 08:46 AM |
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LMAO! All very true. Like it will ever get worse. This is really defining stereotypical men. I hope not to be like that.
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted July 02, 2004 02:20 PM |
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Hahaha, nice Pecu. We need more threads like this to liven up HC. Now, im off to do guy stuff... yea thats it, guy stuff...
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted July 02, 2004 02:30 PM |
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Jeez Ravyn, it was just a cut and paste jobbie, it's not my real views and all that
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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Medusa
Famous Hero
Yeah, right
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posted July 02, 2004 05:51 PM |
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Quote:
Chocolate really can solve all your problems.
This is the real truth! Speaking from my own experience!
*takes a bite of a choco bar*
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SapphireRavyn
Promising
Famous Hero
Bird of Extreme Patience
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posted July 02, 2004 09:10 PM |
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Quote:
Jeez Ravyn, it was just a cut and paste jobbie, it's not my real views and all that
I really didn't think it was, lol. Was just kind of appalled that not only were things once that way, but women were taught to be that way by a text book. It's kind of nuts. But then again, I tend to be a rather strong independent woman. Guess I would have been in big trouble back then, lol. Either that or we would have just been looked at as very odd (um actually, we are looked at as odd even now). By we meaning my husband and I, as we do everything and decide everything as a team pretty much. But we are pretty lucky.
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It's not who wins or losses that matters, it's how you play the game. Honor before all else!
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted July 03, 2004 02:53 AM |
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Or when grumpy women have chocolate cravings at 2 am .
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted July 03, 2004 03:02 AM |
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Quote:
Or when grumpy women have chocolate cravings at 2 am .
acu if your women are eating chocolate at 2AM you are doing a terrible job lol
chocolate works as a substitute for sex for girls.
It envokes the same feelings obviously, so when a girl isnt getting enough she will turn to chocolate...
So either you are doing your job to little or just really bad, for your own sake i hope its the first option
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted July 03, 2004 03:38 AM |
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for me personally I never had any complaints on chocolate but I was just saying tho lol.
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted July 25, 2004 04:56 AM |
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I heard that Pecu was addicted to chocolate at one stage
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tigerangelz
Known Hero
Angelic Tigress
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posted July 25, 2004 06:19 AM |
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lmao....well done Dragon Slayer
those are hilarious and astoninshingly accurate it seems, when I showed them to my boyfriend. ^.^
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Gaia Forums
Guardians Grove
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted March 10, 2006 08:40 AM |
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I was just wondering... does chocolate solve all guys problems too?
I propose a challenge to any male here. Next time you get into a major prroblem, eat heaps of chocolate and tell me what happens!
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FriendOfGunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted March 10, 2006 04:23 PM |
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It may just be a coincidence but I ate a lot of chocolate while I was in Vegas.
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Russ
Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
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posted March 10, 2006 06:44 PM |
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Quote:
This is an actual extract from a Home Economics textbook printed in the early 60's.
Have you seen it in an actual Home Ec textbook? Someone made it up for a good laugh, it has too many contradictions to be a quote from the 60-s textbook.
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FriendOfGunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted March 10, 2006 09:09 PM |
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heh heh, yeah I knew we wuz getting punkd when they got to this sentence: "When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him"
LOL
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