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| Thread: Your girlfriend's a satanist. |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · NEXT» |
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FriendOfGunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted April 16, 2006 06:25 PM |
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Your girlfriend's a satanist.
You've just met the girl/boy of your dreams. She/he is everything that you ever wanted in a woman/man and more. That's the tricky part actually, the "more" part. It turns out she/he is a satanist.
For each item on the list say whether or not you would keep or drop.
Satanist:
smoker:
likes the band REM:
can't cook:
is Mormon:
won't have sex until marriage:
won't let you play heroes of might and magic:
won't let you go to HC:
Here's my answers
Satanist: keep
smoker: drop
likes the band REM: drop
can't cook: keep (I'll cook for you little lady  )
is Mormon: it's close, but I'll keep
won't have sex until marriage: too close to call
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: keep
won't let you go to HC: drop
i'll add new questions as I think of them
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Vlaad
Admirable
Legendary Hero
ghost of the past
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posted April 16, 2006 06:34 PM |
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Edited by Vlaad on 16 Apr 2006
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Quote:
won't have sex until marriage
I'd drop this one.
I'd corrupt a Mormon.
____________
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zebellah
Hired Hero
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posted April 16, 2006 06:46 PM |
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I didnt understand what mormon is but I would drop her if she does not allowe me to play heroes .I can handle with others
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TNT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted April 16, 2006 06:52 PM |
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Satanist: keep, will be interesting and kinky, yep every man dream to be slashed with DA whip  !
smoker: drop, when I'll get irritated enough I will light 2 cigarettes and stick em up her nose!
likes the band REM: drop, WTF! Drop, drop and drop again but from a higher place!
can't cook: Drop, what am I supposed to eat? My heart?
is Mormon: I don't even know what it is but it sounds crappy so I'll drop her.
won't have sex until marriage: Never, sex is the most important thing if she suxx at it then I will just hang myself...
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: keep, you can always sneak up at night and secretely play Muhahahahahaha... That will show her!
won't let you go to HC: Drop, hey baby it's not you it's me I'm a promissing member the whole place will just go to heck without me.
____________
Please
click and help me out!! Thanks!!
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ratmonky
Famous Hero
Abu Hur Ibn Rashka
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posted April 16, 2006 07:10 PM |
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Satanist: drop, one day she might sacrifice me
smoker: keep but reluctantly
likes the band REM: keep
can't cook: keep, I'll cook, she'll do everything else
is Mormon: DROP!!! Better to be an atheist than a sectist
won't have sex until marriage: Definitely keep, virgins are rare nowadays :-)
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: drop
won't let you go to HC: keep
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted April 17, 2006 07:21 AM |
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Satanist: Only if she is part of the Anton Lavie Church of Satan.
smoker: Drop
likes the band REM: Keep
can't cook: Keep (more chance for me to learn to cook)
is Mormon: Drop
won't have sex until marriage: Drop
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: Too close to call
won't let you go to HC: Too close to call
____________
"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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Lord_Pc
Promising
Famous Hero
Groin-Grabingly Clever
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posted April 17, 2006 07:48 AM |
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Satanist: drop
smoker: drop
likes the band REM: keep, keep, keep (i dont see how u guys would drop em)
can't cook: keep
is Mormon: drop
won't have sex until marriage: keep
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: drop
won't let you go to HC: close but i will prolly keep her
____________
Da-da-dada-HEY-dada-da-da
Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, 'You man the guns, I'll drive.'
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2XtremeToTake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted April 17, 2006 08:27 AM |
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Satanist: Drop
smoker: Drop
likes the band REM: Keep
can't cook: Keep
is Mormon: Keep
won't have sex until marriage: DROP
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: keep
won't let you go to HC: keep
____________
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Guitarguy
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Rockoon.
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posted April 17, 2006 08:50 AM |
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My Preferences
Satanist: DROP
smoker: DROP
likes the band REM: KEEP
can't cook: DROP / KEEP
is Mormon: DROP / KEEP
won't have sex until marriage: KEEP
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: KEEP
won't let you go to HC: DROP / KEEP
The Realistic Point-of-View
Satanist: ISN'T
smoker: ISN'T
likes the band REM: ALREADY DOES
can't cook: ALREADY DOES
is Mormon: WOULDN'T MATTER
won't have sex until marriage: I TRUST HER
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: TAKEN CARE OF
won't let you go to HC: TAKEN CARE OF
The lovesickness is coming back again.
-Guitarguy
____________
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted April 17, 2006 08:56 AM |
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Satanist: Drop
smoker: Drop/keep
likes the band REM: Drop/keep
can't cook: drop (unless extremely rich )
is Mormon: drop
won't have sex until marriage: drop
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: drop what the
won't let you go to HC: keep/drop
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TNT_Addict
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Beautiful Liar
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posted April 17, 2006 09:05 AM |
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Kookastar, now I didn't know that you will drop your girlfriend just because she is a satan worshiper how sad .
And I thought you 2 were about to go places hmmm, bummer... I could only picture it in my head now  ...
____________
Please
click and help me out!! Thanks!!
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted April 17, 2006 09:11 AM |
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@TNT ...now come to think of it I really like that inferno hero in the demo
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Russ
Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
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posted April 17, 2006 06:09 PM |
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Edited by Russ on 17 Apr 2006
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Quote:
won't have sex until marriage: Definitely keep, virgins are rare nowadays :-)
FYI: she won't be a virgin after you marry. (Or will she?  Nm, you don't have to answer that.)
As for me - I won't buy a car without a test ride. It may look good on the stand, but it can fall apart as soon as you get in it.
Edit: Oh ya, almost forgot the rest 
Satanist: keep, unless I am about to be sacrifised
smoker: drop... or make her drop smoking
likes the band REM: I don't know REM, but if it is smth really bad - drop
can't cook: keep - if I feel inspired enough, I'll cook for her 
is Mormon: does this mean I can get 2 of them? KEEP, KEEP, KEEP!!!
won't have sex until marriage: drop
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: keep - she's obviously a classic gamer, too much into King's Bounty to accept the new versions.
won't let you go to HC: drop - if I don't go to HC, I won't be able to worship TNT (please refer to "praise me or I am gone" thread).
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FriendOfGunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted April 17, 2006 06:53 PM |
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Quote:
I don't know REM, but if it is smth really bad - drop
oh man, you're just going to have to trust me and TNT on this one...
btw is anybody going to explain to TNT about Mormons?
In not then I will. (there goes my entire morning...)
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tigris
Supreme Hero
Supreme Noobolator
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posted April 17, 2006 07:08 PM |
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Edited by tigris on 17 Apr 2006
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Satanist:Hmm, i hang out with wierdows anyways so keep it.
smoker: drop
likes the band REM:keep
can't cook:....yet so i'll keep you little mama
is Mormon: drop i dun want trouble in my house
won't have sex until marriage: bah drop
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: DROP DEAD U BIZZZATCH!!!
won't let you go to HC:hmm i dunno...keep?
____________
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FriendOfGunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted April 17, 2006 10:37 PM |
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@TNT
Mormons=Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
Mormons is a version of Christianity that was invented in America about 150 years ago, although they are now worldwide. It started in Illinois (?) but they were evicted for being too weird so they went and carved out their own paradise in what is now Utah.
Let's start at the beginning. The Mormons have acquired a reputation as being honest, hard-working people, middle-class people. Just about everybody agrees on this. I can confirm this also. I can also confirm that all the Mormons I have ever met have been a) white and b)good-looking.
The Mormons have some oddities though. For example everybody preaches against drugs but the Mormons have taken this a couple of steps further by banning alcohol, tea, coffee, and dancing. (or wait maybe the do boogie and it's the seventh day adventists that don't allow dancing…whatever). They also don't allow pre-marital sex although I have a hard time believing that all the good-looking mormons I've met in my life weren't taking in a bit of nookie on the sly.
But here we get to the crux of the matter: Just about anybody who's not a Mormon thinks that it's one of the fruitiest religions ever invented. I mean the Mormon story goes that after Jesus Christ preached to the Jews in Israel he went back in time to America where he preached to a bunch of red colored giants named Nephilim and there was a gigantic war between the Nephilim and the something-else-ilim and then an angel named Moroni wrote it all down on sheaves of golden foil and gave it Joseph Smith….
I mean that's just 4 of 5 lines. Imagine 500 pages of stuff like this and you'll get a good idea of what the Book of Mormon is like. It's just my guess but I think that maybe the Mormons think they're own religion is fruity but they just keep up the pretense because they like being around hard-working good-looking people, which kind of makes sense to me.
Okay here's the clincher though. Back in the mid 1850's the Mormons were all practicing polygamists. The higher up in the church hierarchy you were the more wives you got. They wanted to be in the United States though and the United States said: "Um excuse me, we don't want polygamists". So suddenly Brigham Young (or whoever it was that was in charge) had a revelation that God spoke to him. And God said "You've had your fun, but from now on Thou shalt not take multiple wives." So that was the end of that and the Mormons were grafted into the U.S. as the state of Utah, which explains many things about Utah (here's a fun fact, remember Bill Clinton? There's only one state where he finished third when he got elected to the presidency back in 1992. Yep…Utah) Anwyay, even though the Mormon church officially disapproves of polygamy there's still a lot of Mormons in the back country that keep multiple wives. This is an consistently fresh source of humor for american comedians and every once in a while you will hear a riff that is based on the idea that Utah=mormons=multiple wives. (like Russ's joke for example).
So yeah, Russ, you get two wives, but you'll have to give up the alcohol, coffee, and tea. And oh yeah, and you also have to keep a year's supply of food in your basement in preparation for God's rapture, and that's no joke.
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Russ
Promising
Supreme Hero
blah, blah, blah
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posted April 17, 2006 11:32 PM |
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Quote:
So yeah, Russ, you get two wives, but you'll have to give up the alcohol, coffee, and tea. And oh yeah, and you also have to keep a year's supply of food in your basement in preparation for God's rapture, and that's no joke.
Ok, so let me summarize this:
Pro: I can have TWO OR MORE very good-looking wives.
Con: The religion is very fruity.
Pro: Many mormons are aware of this.
Con: I have to give up the alcohol.
I don't drink tea or coffee anyways and I don't care much about the food in the basement.
I guess the wives will compensate for the lack of booze Things might get a bit boring once you become an old man, but then, again, you can always say: "The god has just told me to marry my neighbor's 15-yr old daughter"
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FriendOfGunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted April 18, 2006 12:16 AM |
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Quote:
I guess the wives will compensate for the lack of booze
That's too close to call for me...
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gabislayer
Bad-mannered
Hired Hero
suffering
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posted April 18, 2006 01:10 AM |
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Insanity says her opinion...
- satanism: drop if she is my other half then she will be "good"
- smoker: DROP
- likes the band REM: drop
- can't cook: drop
- is Mormon: drop
- won't have sex until marriage: I don't care (never had sex and probably never will)
- won't let you play Heroes: DROP
- won't let you go to HC: DROP
____________
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csarmi
Supreme Hero
gets back
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posted April 18, 2006 01:29 AM |
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Satanist: hm whats that?
smoker: drop
likes the band REM: keep (whats wrong with REM? or "insert bad group here"?)
can't cook: keep
is Mormon: drop (there are no mormons in my country though)
won't have sex until marriage: drop
won't let you play heroes of might and magic: dont care
won't let you go to HC: keep, keep, keep
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