|
| Thread: Worst/Funny Analogies | |
|
Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
|
posted June 29, 2006 06:57 PM |
|
|
Worst/Funny Analogies
The following are the winner of the "worst analogies for high school essay" contest. Maybe some of you have heard of these. They're quite funny.  I've bolded the ones I especially like.
"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."
-Joseph Romm, Washington
"She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again."
-Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station
"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."
-Russell Beland, Springfield
"McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup."
-Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring
"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and 'Jeopardy' comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30."
-Roy Ashley, Washington
"Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."
-Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
"Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center."
-Russell Beland, Springfield
"Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake ."
-Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills
"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."
-Unknown
"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."
Jack Bross, Chevy Chase
"The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease."
-Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring
"Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man.'"
-Russell Beland, Springfield
"Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."
-Jennifer Hart, Arlington
"The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."
-Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.
"They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth."
-Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.
"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
-Russell Beland, Springfield
"The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play."
-Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria
"His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free."
-Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
"The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon."
-Unknown
____________
|
|
Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
|
posted June 29, 2006 08:28 PM |
|
|
Hehehe . . .
"You could stick feathers on a dog, but that don't make it a chicken!"
~Dr. Phil
____________
Roses Are Red And So Am I
|
|
friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
|
|
posted June 29, 2006 10:35 PM |
|
|
Quote:
"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and 'Jeopardy' comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30."
-Roy Ashley, Washington
I laughed the hardest at this one.
Russell Beland had three on the list. I'm going to do some googling and see if he's got anything on the net...
The analogy list came from a weekly contest held by the Washington Post. Here's one hit that's about as interesting as seeing a middle-aged woman who still retains some of her youthfull beauty on your way to a swingers convention.
You can find the homepage of "The Losers" here. They are a group of afficionados who follow the contest closely. Russell Beland is one of them.
|
|
Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
|
posted June 29, 2006 11:57 PM |
|
Edited by Iris at 23:57, 29 Jun 2006.
|
Good job, FoG.  I didn't even realize that he was on there 3 times. 
And here's an interesting one that I remembered from my roommate.
"Tara (our graduate student instructor) is just like lettuce. For something that lacks nutritional value, you'd think it'd at least be tasty. And as for Tara, for someone who's so stupid, you'd think she'd at least be nice!"
-My roommate
____________
|
|
Arvon
Hired Hero
|
posted June 30, 2006 08:05 PM |
|
|
Slightly off topic but I can't start new threads...
But here are some death euphemisms http://www.deathslang.com/
____________
 If idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard.
|
|
lkru33
Promising
Famous Hero
3x NFL Pick'em Champ
|
posted July 01, 2006 05:17 AM |
|
|
He can throw a football about as far as he can throw a cheesecake underwater.
____________
|
| |
|
|
