|
| Thread: RPG Cliches |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
|
Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
|
posted July 07, 2006 07:22 PM |
bonus applied. |
|
RPG Cliches
I'm sure some of you have seen these. Some are rather funny. Others a little lame. This is the source here with the full list if you're bored.  ~Be forewarned though, some of these contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.~
1. Sleepyhead Rule
The teenaged male lead will begin the first day of the game by oversleeping, being woken up by his mother, and being reminded that he's slept in so late he missed meeting his girlfriend.
2. "No! My beloved peasant village!"
The hero's home town, city, slum, or planet will usually be annihilated in a spectacular fashion before the end of the game, and often before the end of the opening scene.
3. Thinking With The Wrong Head (Hiro Rule)
No matter what she's accused of doing or how mysterious her origins are, the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl he met three seconds ago.
4. Cubic Zirconium Corollary
The aforementioned mysterious girl will be wearing a pendant that will ultimately prove to be the key to either saving the world or destroying it.
5. Logan's Run Rule
RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.
6. Single Parent Rule
RPG characters with two living parents are almost unheard of. As a general rule, male characters will only have a mother, and female characters will only have a father. The missing parent either vanished mysteriously and traumatically several years ago or is never referred to at all. Frequently the main character's surviving parent will also meet an awkward end just after the story begins, thus freeing him of inconvenient filial obligations.
7. Some Call Me... Tim?
Good guys will only have first names, and bad guys will only have last names. Any bad guy who only has a first name will become a good guy at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be mentioned in the manual but they will never be referred to in the story.
8. Nominal Rule
Any character who actually has a name is important in some way and must be sought out. However, if you are referred to as a part of a posessive noun ("Crono's Mom") then you are superfluous.
9. The Compulsories
There's always a fire dungeon, an ice dungeon, a sewer maze, a misty forest, a derelict ghost ship, a mine, a glowing crystal maze, an ancient temple full of traps, a magic floating castle, and a technological dungeon.
10. Luddite Rule (or, George Lucas Rule)
Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the robots, factories, cyberpunk megalopolises and floating battle stations, while the Good Guys live in small villages in peaceful harmony with nature. (Although somehow your guns and/or heavily armed airships are exempted from this.)
11. Let's Start From The Very Beginning (Yuna Rule)
Whenever there is a sequel to an RPG that features the same main character as the previous game, that character will always start with beginner skills. Everything that they learned in the previous game will be gone, as will all their ultra-powerful weapons and equipment.
12. Poor Little Rich Hero (Meis Rule)
If the hero comes from a rich and powerful family, it will have fallen on hard times and be broke and destitute by the time the game actually starts.
13. The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)
The more outrageous his hairstyle, the more important a male character is to the story.
14. Garrett's Principle
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.
15. Hey, I Know You!
You will accumulate at least three of these obligatory party members:
-The spunky princess who is rebelling against her royal parent and is in love with the hero.
-The demure, soft-spoken female mage and healing magic specialist who is not only in love with the hero, but is also the last survivor of an ancient race.
-The tough-as-nails female warrior who is not in love with the hero (note that this is the only female character in the game who is not in love with the hero and will therefore be indicated as such by having a spectacular scar, a missing eye, cyborg limbs or some other physical deformity -- see The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule.)
-The achingly beautiful gothy swordsman who is riven by inner tragedy.
-The big, tough, angry guy who, deep down, is a total softy.
-The hero's best friend, who is actually much cooler than the hero.
-The grim, selfish mercenary who over the course of the game learns what it means to really care about other people.
-The character who is actually a spy for the bad guys but will instantly switch to your side when you find out about it.
-The weird bonus character who requires a bizarre series of side quests to make them effective (with the ultimate result that no player ever uses this character if it can be avoided.)
-The nauseatingly cute mascot who is useless in all battles.
16. Hey, I Know You, Too!
You will also confront/be confronted by at least three of these obligatory antagonists:
-The amazingly good-looking and amazingly evil long-haired prettyboy who may or may not be the ultimate villain.
-The villain's loyal right-hand man, who comes in two versions: humorously incompetent or annoyingly persistent.
-The villain's attractive female henchman, who is the strongest and most competent soldier in the army but always lets the party escape because she's, yes, fallen in love with the hero.
-Your former ally who supposedly "died" and was forgotten about, until much later in the game when he/she shows up again on the villain's side and full of bitterness.
-The irritatingly honorable foe whom you never get to kill because, upon discovering the true nature of his superiors, he either nobly sacrifices himself or joins your party.
-The insane clown or jester who will turn out to be surprisingly difficult to subdue.
-The mad scientist who likes creating mutated creatures and powerful weapons 'cause it's fun (and also handy if uninvited adventurers show up.)
-The adorably cute li'l creature or six year old child who fights you and, inexplicably, kicks your butt time after time.
17. Hey, I Know You, Three!
Furthermore, expect to encounter most of the following obligatory non-player chararcters (NPCs):
-The townsperson or crewmember who wanders aimlessly in circles and never quite gets where he is going.
-Hilariously incompetent or cowardly soldiers.
-The NPC who has a crush on another NPC and can't quite work up the nerve to tell him or her, so instead tells every other person who wanders by about it at great length.
-A group of small children playing hide-and-seek.
-The wise and noble captain/king/high priest.
-The wise and noble captain/king/high priest's splutteringly evil second-in-command. Nobody, including the hero, will notice the second's constant, crazed scheming until the moment when he betrays everyone to the forces of badness.
-The NPC who is obsessed with his completely mundane job and witters on endlessly about how great it is. He's so thrilled by it that he wants to share it with everyone he sees, so given a quarter of a chance he'll make you do his job for him.
-The (adult) NPC who has nothing better to do than play kids' games with passersby.
-The group of young women who have formed a scarily obsessive fan club for one of your female party members.
18. Crono's Complaint
The less the main character talks, the more words are put into his mouth, and therefore the more trouble he gets into through no fault of his own.
19. "Silly Squall, bringing a sword to a gunfight..."
No matter what timeframe the game is set in -- past, present, or future -- the main hero and his antagonist will both use a sword for a weapon. (Therefore, you can identify your antagonist pretty easily right from the start of the game just by looking for the other guy who uses a sword.) These swords will be far more powerful than any gun and often capable of distance attacks.
20. Just Nod Your Head And Smile
And no matter how big that big-ass sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their posessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.
21. Aeris's Corollary
Just as the main male character will always use a sword or a variant of a sword, the main female character will always use a rod or a staff of some sort.
22. MacGyver Rule
Other than for the protagonists, your choice of weapons is not limited to the prosaic guns, clubs, or swords. Given appropriate skills, you can cut a bloody swath across the continent using gloves, combs, umbrellas, megaphones, dictionaries, sketching tablets -- you name it, you can kill with it. Even better, no matter how surreal your choice of armament, every store you pass will just happen to stock an even better model of it for a very reasonable price. Who else is running around the world killing people with an umbrella?
23. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Melfice Rule)
If the male hero has an older sibling, the sibling will also be male and will turn out to be one of the major villains. If the hero has a younger sibling, the sibling will be female and will be kidnapped and held hostage by the villains.
24. Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress
Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will never see the item again no matter what.
25. Dimensional Transcendence Principle
Buildings are much, much larger on the inside than on the outside, and that doesn't even count the secret maze of tunnels behind the clock in the basement.
26. Local Control Rule
Although the boss monster terrorizing the first city in the game is less powerful than the non-boss monsters that are only casual nuisances to cities later in the game, nobody from the first city ever thinks of hiring a few mercenaries from the later cities to kill the monster.
27. Nostradamus Rule
All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.
28. IDKFA
The basic ammunition for any firearms your characters have is either unlimited or very, very easy to obtain. This will apply even if firearms are extremely rare.
29. Indestructible Weapon Rule
No matter how many times you use that sword to strike armored targets or fire that gun on full auto mode it will never break, jam or need any form of maintenance unless it is critical to the story that the weapon breaks, jams or needs maintenance.
30. Selective Paralysis
Your characters must always keep both feet on the ground and will be unable to climb over low rock ledges, railings, chairs, cats, slightly differently-colored ground, or any other trivial objects which may happen to be in their way. Note that this condition will not prevent your characters from jumping from railroad car to railroad car later in the game.
31. Bed Bed Bed
A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle.
32. You Can't Kill Me, I Quit (Seifer Rule)
The good guys never seem to get the hang of actually arresting or killing the bad guys. Minor villains are always permitted to go free so they can rest up and menace you again later -- sometimes five minutes later. Knowing this rule, you can deduce that if you do manage to kill (or force the surrender of) a bad guy, you must be getting near the end of the game.
33. And Now You Die, Mr. Bond! (Beatrix Rule)
Fortunately for you, the previous rule also applies in reverse. Rather than kill you when they have you at their mercy, the villains will settle for merely blasting you down to 1 hit point and leaving you in a crumpled heap while they stroll off, laughing. (This is, of course, because they're already planning ahead how they'll manipulate you into doing their bidding later in the game -- see Way To Go, Serge.)
34. Zap!
Most villains in RPGs possess some form of teleportation. They generally use it to materialize in front of the adventurers when they reach the Obligatory Legendary Relic Room and seize the goodies just before you can. The question "if the bad guy can teleport anywhere at any time, then why doesn't (s)he just zip in, grab the artifact, and leave before the adventurers have even finished the nerve-wracking puzzle on the third floor?" is never answered.
35. Heads I Win, Tails You Lose (Grahf Rule)
It doesn't matter that you won the fight with the boss monster; the evil task he was trying to carry out will still get accomplished somehow. Really, you might as well not have bothered.
36. Clockwork Universe Rule
No matter how hard you try to stop it, that comet or meteor will always hit the earth.
37. Fake Ending
There will be a sequence which pretends to be the end of the game but obviously isn't -- if for no other reason than because you're still on Disk 1 of 4.
38. You Die, And We All Move Up In Rank
During that fake ending, the true villain of the story will kill the guy you'd thought was the villain, just to demonstrate what a badass he (the true villain) really is. You never get to kill the fake villain yourself.
39. "What are we going to do tonight, Vinsfeld?"
The goal of every game (as revealed during the Fake Ending) is to Save the World from an evil figure who's trying to take it over or destroy it. There is no way to escape from this formidable task. No matter whether the protagonist's goal in life is to pay off a debt, to explore distant lands, or just to make time with that cute girl in the blue dress, it will be necessary for him to Save the World in order to accomplish it. Take heart, though -- once the world gets sorted out, everything else will fall into place almost immediately.
40. Zelda's Axiom
Whenever somebody tells you about "the five ancient talismans" or "the nine legendary crystals" or whatever, you can be quite confident that Saving the World will require you to go out and find every last one of them.
44. Not Invented Here
Trade of technology will not exist. One place in the world will have all the techno-gadgets while all the others will be harvesting dirt.
46. ¿Quien Es Mas Macho? (Fargo Rule)
Every powerful character you attempt to seek aid from will first insist upon "testing your strength" in a battle to the death.
47. We Had To Destroy The Village In Order To, Well, You Know The Rest (Selene Rule)
No matter what happens, never call on the government, the church, or any other massive controlling authority for help. They'll just send a brigade of soldiers to burn your entire village to the ground.
48. Zidane's Curse (or, Dirty Pair Rule)
An unlucky condition in which every major city in the game will coincidentally wind up being destroyed just after the hero arrives.
50. Short Attention Span Principle
All bookshelves contain exactly one book, which only has enough text on it to fill up half a page.
51. Planet of the Apes Rule
All cities and countries have ancestors that were wiped out by their technological advances.
52. Insomnia Rule
A "free stay at the inn" is never really free. Expect to be woken up in the middle of the night for a mandatory plot event.
57. Natural Monopoly Rule
No city will have more than two shops, unless it is crucial to the story that there be a hundred vendors which you must visit in order (see You Always Travel In The Right Circles.) All of these shops will sell the same goods for the same price.
58. But They Don't Take American Express
Every merchant in the world -- even those living in far-off villages or hidden floating cities cut off from the outside world for centuries, even those who speak different languages or are of an entirely different species -- accepts the same currency.
59. Apathy Principle
Your group is the only bunch of people trying to save the world. All other would-be heroes will either join your party or else turn out to be cowards and/or con men.
60. The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule
a. Any male character who is ugly, malformed, or misshapen is either evil or so moral, spiritual, and/or wise that it's a wonder no one's proposed him for sainthood yet.
b. Any male character who has a physical disfiguration that doesn't seem to impede him (i.e. a prominent scar across the face or a bad eye) is evil, unless he is the male lead, since scars are cool and no other good guy can be as cool as the hero. An exception is made for characters who are clearly ancient, and therefore automatically not as cool as the young hero.
c. Any female character who is ugly, malformed, mishapen, or physically disfigured is evil, since all good female characters are there to be potentially seduced by the male lead -- see Know Your Audience.
61. Henchman Quota (Nana, Saki, and Mio Rule)
One of your antagonists will have three lovably incompetent stooges whom you fight over and over again. Although they're trusted with their boss's most important plans and equipment, they will screw up repeatedly, argue incessantly among themselves, blab secret information, and generally only come out victorious when their job was to be a diversion or a delaying tactic. A high point of the game will come when the True Villain reveals himself and you're able to convince the stooges you're all on the same side. They won't help you out any more successfully than they helped the antagonist, but at least you won't have to fight them any more.
62. Thousand Year Rule
The Ancient Evil returns to savage the land every thousand years on the dot, and the last time it showed up was just about 999.9875 years ago. Despite their best efforts, heroes of the past were never able to do more than seal the Evil away again for the future to deal with (which brings up the question of just how exactly does this "sealing away" work anyway, but never mind.) The good news is that this time, the Evil will get destroyed permanently. The bad news is that you're the one who's going to have to do it.
63. Principle of Narrative Efficiency
If the main villain (or the enemy you've been trying to kill for most of the game before he summons the real final villain) was ever defeated in the past by another group of adventurers, one of them will secretly be in your party and one of them will be the hero's father.
65. First Law of Travel
Anything can become a vehicle -- castles, cities, military academies, you name it -- so do not be alarmed when the stones of the ancient fortress you are visiting shake underfoot and the whole thing lifts off into the sky. As a corollary, anything is capable of flight if it would be cool, aeronautics or even basic physics be damned.
66. Second Law of Travel
There will be only one of any non-trivial type of vehicle in the entire world. Thus, only one ocean-capable steamboat, only one airship, and so forth. Massive facilities will have been constructed all over the world to service this one vehicle.
67. Third Law of Travel
The only way to travel by land between different areas of a continent will always be through a single narrow pass in a range of otherwise impenetrable mountains. Usually a palace or monastery will have been constructed in the pass, entirely filling it, so that all intracontinental traffic is apparently required to abandon their vehicles and go on foot up stairs and through the barracks, library and throne room to get to the other side. This may explain why most people just stay home. (In some cases a cave or underground tunnel may be substituted for the palace or monastery, but it will still be just as inconvenient with the added bonuses of cave-ins and nonsensical elevator puzzles.)
68. Fourth Law of Travel
Three out of every four vehicles you ride on will eventually sink, derail or crash in some spectacular manner.
69. Fifth Law of Travel
All vehicles can be driven or piloted by anyone. The main character just needs to find out where the bridge or steering wheel is, as he already knows all of the controls.
70. Sixth Law of Travel
Nobody gets to own a cooler ride than you. If you ever do see a cooler vehicle than the one you've got now, at some point before the end of the game you will either take over this vehicle, get something even bigger and better, or else see it destroyed in a glorious blaze.
71. Seventh Law of Travel
When on a voyage to another continent, the journey will last only as long as it takes you to talk to all the other passengers and the captain.
72. Eighth Law of Travel
There are no shortcuts, ever -- unless you are forced to take them, in which case they will be much longer and more dangerous than your original route.
73. Last Law of Travel (Big Joe Rule)
As has been described, you must endure great trials just to get from town to town: locating different vehicles, operating ancient transport mechanisms, evading military blockades, the list goes on. But that's just you. Every other character in the game seems to have no trouble getting to any place in the world on a moment's notice.
74. If You Meet The Buddha In A Random Encounter, Kill Him!
When you're out wandering around the world, you must kill everything you meet. People, animals, plants, insects, fire hydrants, small cottages, anything and everything is just plain out to get you. It may be because of your rampant kleptomania (see Garrett's Principle.)
76. Magical Inequality Theorem
In the course of your travels you may find useful-sounding spells such as Petrify, Silence, and Instant Death. However, you will end up never using these spells in combat because a) all ordinary enemies can be killed with a few normal attacks, making fancy attacks unneccessary, b) all bosses and other stronger-than-average monsters are immune to those effects so there's no point in using them for long fights where they'd actually come in handy, and c) the spells usually don't work anyway.
77. Magical Inequality Corollary
When the enemy uses Petrify, Silence, Instant Death, et cetera spells on you, they will be effective 100% of the time.
79. Xenobiology Rule
The predatory species of the world will include representatives of all of the following: giant spiders, giant scorpions, giant snakes, giant beetles, wolves, squid, fish that float in midair, gargoyles, golems, carnivorous plants, chimeras, griffons, cockatrices, hydras, minotaurs, burrowing things with big claws, things that can paralyse you, things that can put you to sleep, things that can petrify you, at least twenty different creatures with poisonous tentacles, and dragons. Always dragons.
80. Friendly Fire Principle (or, Final Fantasy Tactics Rule)
Any attack that can target both allies and enemies will hit half of your allies and none of your enemies.
81. Dungeon Design 101
There's always goodies hidden behind the waterfall.
82. Dungeon Design 102
When you are confronted by two doors, the closer one will be locked and its key will be hidden behind the farther-away one.
83. Dungeon Design 103 (or, Wallpaper Warning)
Your progress through a dungeon will be indicated by a sudden change in decor: different wall color, different torches on the wall, et cetera.
86. Wait! That Was A Load-Bearing Boss!
Defeating a dungeon's boss creature will frequently cause the dungeon to collapse, which is nonsensical but does make for thrilling escape scenes.
87. Supply and Demand Axiom
Killing a powerful enemy will usually yield an item or weapon that would've been extremely useful if you had gotten it before killing that enemy.
88. Edison's Lament
No switch is ever in the right position.
89. Well, That About Wraps It Up For God
All major deities, assuming they actually exist and weren't just made up by the Church to delude its followers, are in reality malevolent and will have to be destroyed. The only exception to this rule is the four nature spirits who have preserved the land since time immemorial, but now due to the folly of mankind have lost virtually all of their power and need you to accomplish some ludicrous task to save them.
90. Guy in the Street Rule
No matter how fast you travel, rumors of world events always travel faster. When you get to anywhere, the people on the street are already talking about where you've been. The stories of your past experiences will spread even if no witnesses were around to see them.
92. Figurehead Rule
Whenever someone asks you a question to decide what to do, it's just to be polite. He or she will ask the question again and again until you answer "correctly."
97. Three Females Rule
There will always be either one or three female characters in the hero's party, no matter how many male characters there are.
99. Law of Reverse Evolution (Zeboim Principle)
Any ancient civilizations are inexplicably much more advanced than the current one.
100. Science-Magic Equivalence (Citan Rule)
Although mages' specialty is magic and scientists' specialty is technology, these skills are completely interchangeable.
106. Law of Traps
No matter how obvious the trap, you can't complete the game unless you fall into it.
107. Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.
113. Place Transvestite Joke Here (Miss Cloud Rule)
If the male lead is required to dress up like a girl for any reason, he will be regarded by everyone as much more attractive than any "real" girl. If the female lead cross-dresses as a man, she will be immediately recognized as who she is by everyone except the male lead and the main villain.
120. Little Nemo Law
If any sleeping character has a dream, that dream will be either a 100% accurate memory of the past, a 100% accurate psychic sending from the present, a 100% accurate prophetic vision of the future, or a combination of two or all three of these.
125. "You Couldn't Get To Sleep Either, Huh?"
If any character in the game ever meets any other character standing alone at night looking at the moon, those two will eventually fall in love.
134. Inheritance of Acquired Characteristics (Ramus Rule)
Twenty-three generations may pass, but any person's direct descendant will still look and act just like him.
135. Pinch Hitter Rule
Whenever a member of the hero's team is killed or retires, no matter how unique or special he or she was there is a good chance someone will show up to replace them that has exactly the same abilities and can use the same weapons with the same proficiency.
136. Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 1 (Yuffie Rule)
All good-looking young females are there to help you. This rule holds even when the girl in question is annoying, useless, or clearly evil.
137. Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 2 (Rouge Rule)
All good-looking middle-aged females are out to kill you. This rule holds even when the woman in question has attained your unwavering trust and respect.
138. Well, So Much For That
After you have completed your mighty quest to find the object that will save the known universe, it will either a) get lost, b) get stolen, or c) not work.
143. Falling Rule
An RPG character can fall any distance onto anything without suffering anything worse than brief unconsciousness. In fact, falling a huge distance is an excellent cure for otherwise fatal wounds -- anyone who you see shot, stabbed, or mangled and then tossed off a cliff is guaranteed to return later in the game with barely a scratch.
153. "Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"
Don't expect battle mechanics to carry over into the "real world."
154. Gold Saucer Rule
The strongest weapons/items/spells in the entire game can only be found by doing things like racing birds.
159. Bad Is Good, Baby!
The heroes can always count on the support of good-hearted vampires, dragons, thieves, demons, and chainsaw murderers in their quest to save the world from evil. And on the other hand...
160. Good Is Bad, Baby!
Watch out for generous priests, loyal military officers, and basically anyone in a position of authority who agrees to help you out, especially if they save your life and prove their sincerity innumerable times -- they're usually plotting your demise in secret (at least when they can fit it into their busy schedule of betraying their country, sponsoring international terrorism, and stealing candy from small children) and will stab you in the back at the most inconvenient moment, unless they fall under...
164. Ladies First (Belleza Rule)
When things really start falling apart, the villain's attractive female henchman will be the first to jump ship and switch to the side of Good. Sadly, she still won't survive until the end credits, because later she will sacrifice her life out of unrequited love for the villain.
165. Trial By Fire (Cecil Rule)
Any dark and brooding main characters will ultimately be redeemed by a long, ardous, quasi-spiritual quest that seems difficult at the time, but in the great scheme of things just wasn't that big of a deal after all.
166. Key Item Rule
Never discard, sell, or otherwise remove permamently from your possession any items you begin the game with or acquire within the first town. This is especially true for items that seem to have no practical use, because of...
167. The Law of Inverse Practicality (Key Item Corollary)
Any item that you can acquire will have some sort of purpose. Those that seem to be useless and have no practical value at all, always tend to have great power later on. The earlier you get the item, the later in the game it will be used. The longer the span of time between acquisition and use, the more powerful the item is.
169. Gilligan's Prescription
Any character who has amnesia will be cured before the end of the game. They usually won't like what they find out about themselves, though.
170. Luke, I Am Your Tedious, Overused Plot Device (Lynx Rule)
If there is any chance whatsoever that major villain X could be the male lead's father, then it will turn out that major villain X is the male lead's father.
175. Master Key Rule
Any and all locked doors that the characters encounter will be unlocked by the end of the game.
184. Adam Smith's Corollary
No matter how thoroughly devastated the continent/planet/universe is, there's always some shopkeeper who survived the end of the world and sits outside the gates of the villain's castle, selling the most powerful equipment in the game, like nothing ever happened.
185. The Long Arm of the Plot
Any bad guys, no matter how far they run, will always end up in one of two ways by the end of the game: obviously dead, or on your side. There is no in-between.
187. "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
You will have to kill the evil villain at least twice at the end of the game. First the villain will look like a person or some creature and be rather easy to kill. Then he will grow to about 50 times the hero's size and be much harder to kill.
188. In Your Face, Jesus!
Even if you manage to deal with him that time, you're not done -- the villain will then transform into his final form, which is always an angelic winged figure with background music remixed for ecstatic chorus and pipe organ.
190. Weapon Rule
There's always a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless because by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more.
191. The Ultimate Rule
Anything called "Ultima (whatever)" or "Ultimate (whatever)" isn't. There's always at least one thing somewhere in the world which is even more.
____________
|
|
Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
|
|
posted July 07, 2006 09:16 PM |
|
|
Are we refering to jRPGs only or cRPGs in general? Because most of the ones I read from there (didn't make it to the end of the list) don't apply to a great deal of western world cRPGs.
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
|
|
Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
|
|
posted July 08, 2006 03:24 AM |
|
|
I think they mostly apply to jRPGs. Many of them focus around the old school games like Chrono Trigger, Tales of Phantasia, and some from the FF series.
____________
|
|
MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
|
|
posted July 08, 2006 06:32 AM |
|
|
Nice addition there Iris. Honorary invisible QP applied.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
|
|
Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
|
posted July 08, 2006 03:15 PM |
|
Edited by Consis at 15:16, 08 Jul 2006.
|
Fantastic Thread
I will post many responses to this thread.
1st response:
Quote:
10. Luddite Rule (or, George Lucas Rule)
Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the robots, factories, cyberpunk megalopolises and floating battle stations, while the Good Guys live in small villages in peaceful harmony with nature. (Although somehow your guns and/or heavily armed airships are exempted from this.)
I believe this particular rule has more to do with the fact that the game creators originate from Japan. Japan has a very rich and full history of environmental respect. Is there any wonder how Shinto originated there or why Hayao Miyazaki is so popular?
____________
Roses Are Red And So Am I
|
|
mr_niceguy
Famous Hero
of power
|
|
posted July 08, 2006 03:59 PM |
|
|
Cliche's wand what we can learn from games
If you see a stranger in trouble (mainly girls) always save them, they always have something valuable
Treasure are just lying around everywhere
villains never lock thier treasure chest
villains never lock the front door
When given a job, you are never payed upfront
when you get close to something, something else will always get in your way
No matter what you go through (swamps, ocean, slaughter house) your clothes will always stay clean
anyone with a name with an "X" in it is most likely an important person
any really cool guy wearing a mask will always turn out to be a girl
anyone with very long (usually grey) hair is evil
Its okay to talk to strangers
Eye patches can switch eyes without the wearer noticeing
Scars can switch sides
time travel doesnt create paradoxes like they should
Its okay to kill people
the laws of physics dont apply to cool looking hair
even in the most feirce fast paced battle, there is always time to use 5 or so second for trash talk in the middle of the fight
____________
a stich in time saves nine... what the hell does that mean?
If u enjoy telling ur friends of how uve never been beaten with ur own legs, u'd rethink making a comment
|
|
Gom_Jabbar
Promising
Famous Hero
Revealer of Truth
|
|
posted July 10, 2006 11:47 AM |
|
|
I wonder why this cliches apply mostly to jRPG's?
____________
|
|
friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
|
|
posted July 10, 2006 09:40 PM |
|
|
Nah, there's a ton from Baldur's gate, like this one that had me LMAO
14. Garrett's Principle
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.
|
|
MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 12:49 AM |
|
|
191. The Ultimate Rule
Anything called "Ultima (whatever)" or "Ultimate (whatever)" isn't. There's always at least one thing somewhere in the world which is even more.
This is the Ultima Keyblade in Kingdom Hearts II. As much work that you have to go through to get the thing you would think it would be the strongest. However, hidden boss from rule 190 has the Fenrir Keyblade which apparently is even stronger. Joy.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
|
|
Shadowcaster
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Shaded Scribe
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 12:55 AM |
|
|
Fenrir has 1 more strength point, but it only has 1 magic and the Negative Combo ability comes attached. I personally consider the Ultima Weapon to be the best, but it's all a matter of personal preference when it comes down to it.
____________
>_>
|
|
Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 05:42 AM |
|
|
Quote:
27. Nostradamus Rule
All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.
That one is my personal favorite.
And I've always looked at the Ultima/Ultimate thing as the bosses.
In FFVII, there was the Ultimate Weapon, which was much weaker than both Emerald Weapon and Ruby Weapon.
In FFVIII, there was the Ultima Weapon, which was much weaker than the Omega Weapon.
____________
|
|
Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 07:04 AM |
|
|
However in FF8, with Direct damage, no other spell comes close to Ultima. Except maybe Demi with high hp opponents
____________
|
|
Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 07:05 AM |
|
|
Quote:
However in FF8, with Direct damage, no other spell comes close to Ultima. Except maybe Demi with high hp opponents
Not true! Meteor can do up to 70,000+ point of damage when cast by Rinoa in Angel Wing status.
____________
|
|
MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 07:15 AM |
|
|
You've played these games way too much.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
|
|
Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 07:28 AM |
|
|
hmmmmmmmmmm........... GODDAMIT!!!
You know i have only ever had Rinoa do that once.
What if you cast triple on her before hand, would she cast the spell 3 times?
Are you sure ultima with its strenght increased 5x isnt stronger than meteor... or even apocolypse for that matter...
____________
|
|
mr_niceguy
Famous Hero
of power
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 09:04 AM |
|
|
If ultima is increased by 5x strengh it has a maximum damage of 9999, however meteor hits multiple times doing about 7000 each time hence surpassing the 9999 damage limit. Also you can make her cast meteor every turn in angel wing if you remove all other damageing spells from her
____________
a stich in time saves nine... what the hell does that mean?
If u enjoy telling ur friends of how uve never been beaten with ur own legs, u'd rethink making a comment
|
|
mr_niceguy
Famous Hero
of power
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 10:47 AM |
|
|
Angel wing only cast spells that Rinoa is carrying, if give all her spells to someone else besides meteor then thats the only one she can cast, therefore always casting meteor.
____________
a stich in time saves nine... what the hell does that mean?
If u enjoy telling ur friends of how uve never been beaten with ur own legs, u'd rethink making a comment
|
|
Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 03:46 PM |
|
|
Haha, this is turning into a FFVIII strat discussion.
Triple does not show effects when she's in Angel Wing status. She still only casts one spell at a time.  Sad.
And mr_niceguy is right about the damage cap and spell casting. Rinoa will only cast attack magic from her list, and sometimes she'll cast a status spell. However, you do NOT need to get rid of all your other spells. Just make sure Meteor appears first on your spell list. Rinoa will cast it 50% of the time or more. I discovered this by accident against Ultima Weapon. Cool huh? ^_^
About Fenrir in KHII... if you get rid of all your Combo Plus abilities, the negative combo takes Sora's hits down so that every single attack a finishing move, right?
Quote:
35. Heads I Win, Tails You Lose (Grahf Rule)
It doesn't matter that you won the fight with the boss monster; the evil task he was trying to carry out will still get accomplished somehow. Really, you might as well not have bothered.
I like this rule too. ^_^
____________
|
|
mr_niceguy
Famous Hero
of power
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 04:22 PM |
|
|
Actually not all spells have to be removed, only damage ones because rinoa doesnt cast cure in angel wing. Maybe she was using meteor 50% of the time because she only had 2 damage spells on her list. Im not sure if the order they're in counts, she also rocks when she has 100 hastes junctioned to her speed and auto haste on, its like she casts 5 meteors every second
Quote:
133 Last Rule of Politics
Kingdoms are good. Empires are evil.
I like this one, simple but true
____________
a stich in time saves nine... what the hell does that mean?
If u enjoy telling ur friends of how uve never been beaten with ur own legs, u'd rethink making a comment
|
|
Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
|
|
posted July 13, 2006 04:28 PM |
|
|
You're right that she never casts recovery spells, but believe me, order matters for the others. Before I discovered this, I always auto-arragned my magic, so she was aways casting Firaga. Then I learned, and cleaned up her list and moved Meteor to the first damaging spell that appears. Try it sometime. 
I usually only keep Ultima, Meteor, Flare, Tornado, and Meltdown in her list for junctioning. Meteor is at the top of the list and she casts it about 80% of the time for me.
____________
|
| |
|
|
