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| Thread: Tales From the Workplace | |
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted September 16, 2006 08:04 AM |
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Tales From the Workplace
I've decided that after two and a half years of working for that hell hole Technicolor that I would share with you some stories that drive me to insanity nearly everyday. I was thinking of doing this yesterday but wasn't sure. After today's little joy ride through retard land I'm positive. Also, I'm sure many others (who actually have to work) have "fun" stories to share as well. I'd especially like to hear Kooka's tales from work. 
Let's get started:
I'll start by explaining what Technicolor is, and all the other details so you can grasp what I'm talking about in my stories.
You may be wondering where you've seen that name before. Hmmmmmm, Technicolor. Does this ring a bell:
Color by TECHNICOLOR®
or
.jpg)
maybe this
Ok, enough examples. Yes, Technicolor was responsible for bringing color movies and cartoons to the big screen and then later to your TV as well. Now Technicolor has expanded into a massive company that edits, duplicates, packages, and distributes movies and games (plus other forms of media) around the world. Here in Michigan there are two Technicolor locations. One in Detroit that receives the raw product and packages it up to make it all pretty and stuff so you guys will buy it and keep my paycheck coming in. Yay Consumers.
The Detroit factory takes this
and this
plus all the inserts and crap inside and the wrap out side and turn it into THIS
Yes, this is actually one of the work orders we had to do at one point. Do you know how many time I would get my finger caught in that stupid zipper? Retarded project. To this day I can't figure out why we've done half of the things we've done (besides the obvious money making reason). Then I started looking at the people this company was hiring. More then half of them couldn't speak the English language and only a select few could actually read it well. That was when I heard a saying uttered from a friend of mine that worked there that allowed me to come up with this saying, "The more retarded you is, the more money you makes."
Which leads me to this number:
Our Main Michigan headquarters used to do this
But we figured the Mexicans would rather do it since nobody buys them anymore anyway. So after "permanently laying off" a few hundred employees we made our plant in Livonia (where I currently work) into the new HQ...for now.
It's called Technicolor Millenium Park because the land that it lies on is owned by some company with the word Millenium in their name or something. Anywho, I ended up working in the Detroit plant for a year and a half and finally got promoted last year September and moved to the Livonia plant where I am in charge of Quality Control for Pod Four (I think I'm still in charge of Pod Four) in Custom Packaging. Remember that DVD thingie up there? Millennium Park receives those in bunches and turns them into THESE:
ok, so I can't find a picture but you know those big cardboard displays you see in stores with the DVD's all nice and neat in the shelves? That's what we do. They are called display Cubes and our job is to build them (not an easy task) and fill them up with the proper DVD's according to the work order we receive. Each "cube" line pumps out about 100 cubes per eight hour shift which we have three of.
First Shift: 5:18 AM - 1:18 PM
Second Shift: 1:18 PM - 9:18 PM (My shift)
Third Shift: 9:18 PM - 5:18 AM
My job however is more like a babysitter for these people. When I come in I head to my file cabinet and pull out my audit sheets, usually about five or six depending on how many lines I have to watch. Then I grab some scrap paper and head out...there...*shudder* at which point I ask the line leads what their WO#'s (Work Order Numbers) are, try to decipher what they said then head back to the office and enter the numbers into the computer's BOR (Bill of Resources) program. I print off my paperwork and proceed back out...ugh...there. Thus it begins. I check each line I am assigned to at certain times (usually whatever times I pull out of my butt on that given day) and make sure that everything they do is done to my high standards of quality (HA, I deal with quality here and there) and of course according to the Work Order. This is where the "fun" is. The line leads I usually deal with either don't speak very good English or just don't care. Usually more of the latter. I perform six audits per line (or more if I get stuck with a game line), check their product, chat with the people I can understand, do paperwork, eat some food, do more paperwork, chat some more, check more stuff that's probably done wrong, yell at stupid line lead, fail stupid line lead's line, smile, laugh manically to myself, do more paperwork, turn in paperwork, and sneak out early.
Yes it sounds easy but you try doing all that for 8 hours straight with a bunch of half retarded monkey people working under you.
So anyway All of that brings me to story number one:
Thursday, September 14, 2006
What a day to remember and the perfect day to start this off with. It was a fairly normal day, my gay supervisor was prancing around the plant speaking gibberish while me and the three other QC's watched with this look on our faces. My three co-workers are in the same boat with me and are the few besides me who are sure that this Technicolor has overstepped the boundaries or normalcy. So on we went to our pods (which is what this place divides the lines up into).
HA HA, this is where the fun begins. My lines were building Disney cubes which for some reason turn your hands and clothes the color of the display cube, which this time was blue. So I stared at the Smurf people for a while and then continued down the checklist. Everything seemed good so I went off to start my paperwork. Around 3:30 I made my rounds again but this time I was in for a treat. There was an Arabic man named Adil who was counting out the DVD's and loading them onto carts (one cart per cube) and two women, a white lady named Jessica and a Bangladesh woman named Lacy.
So Adil is basically crazy. He can usually be found muttering to himself and jotting down lists of people he wants to kill and what not. So Jessica was unloading the last bit of the cart when Adil decided to snap. He litterly just went Ape-$#!* crazy and started cursing at the two ladies and throwing DVD's and trays everywhere. My mouth dropped open and I put my clip board down and tried to approach him in hopes I could calm him down. Yeah right. He started yelling at me in Arabic (as if I understand that) and procedded to throw a tray at me. Meanwhile, Lacy called the manager and one of the supervisor's over and they grabbed his arms and basically drug him to the front. Now most of you probably wont get this because I sure as hell didn't at first but as he was being drug away he called Lacy a Jew. I got another one of those looks on my face and wondered how that could possibly be an insult. I thought about it for a while because to me it was actually kind of funny. I had never heard anyone call someone else a Jew before as an insult...especially when that person isn't even Jewish.
I found out later though that apparently he called her that because most of the middle eastern people hate Jewish people so they consider it an insult to be called that. Go figure. So ends Tale one of many more to come I'm sure.
Now if any of you (Kooka  ) have any tales to share feel free to post away.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
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posted September 16, 2006 10:20 PM |
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Edited by Iris at 22:22, 16 Sep 2006.
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I can't think of any crazy stories at the moment, but I got a few cute ones. 
Two years ago, I worked in an organization called America Reads. We pretty much to go disadvantaged areas and tutor elementary school kids who have difficiulties in reading and writing.
After the interviews, they decided that I was among the most patient, so they put me in the special group to aid the kids with minor mental handicaps. There were only 2 tutors in this group, me and another girl named Caitlin. My schedule was Mondays and Wednesdays, and hers was Tuesdays and Thursdays. Our tutees come from the same classroom (3rd grade), so I know her kids and she knows mine.
After a few session with these kids, I learned that they're very unwilling to work unless I turn things into a game or give them incentives. So I started making origami to tell stories and bringing them chocolates as rewards. I told them to keep it a secret, since they're not allowed candies in class. However, they are kids and are not very good at keeping things hidden.
Soon, Caitlin's kids heard about candies and games and they all wanted to participate in my sessions. One of them asked if I can come on Tuesdays and Thursdays instead, and one of my livelier tutees pointed and said, "HA HA, you got the substitute!"
And another time, toward the end of my session, one of my tutees was being somewhat uncooperative. And it just so happens that that day, we had to leave early to fill up the car, so I told him we'll continue next time.
When I cam back the following week, he had all of his work done ahead of time and listened to everything I said. I asked him why he was working so well, and he said that he was afraid that I'd leave again if he didn't work. It was incredibly cute.
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Khaelo
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Underwater
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posted September 17, 2006 12:50 AM |
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Great thread!
Unfortunately, my temp work had a confidentiality agreement. I was evaluating standardized tests (yes, someone actually has to read those things  ), and the company doesn't like us releasing student responses for obvious reasons. I think I can safely give one hint, though: "This test sucks!" is never the right answer.
Story about co-workers:
The test center was a rented space in a suburban office complex which we shared with several other companies. We had computers which were connected to company headquarters in another state. Folks in HQ would scan in test responses, we'd score them, and the scores would go back to HQ. That is what the computers were for, and that is all they could do network-wise.
About three weeks into the projects, the main manager made an announcement. Apparently, XXXX, one of our neighbors in the building, had complained to him because every day at 10:15, 12:00, and 2:15 -- our breaktimes -- they were swamped with random people coming in to use their computers to surf the Internet and check e-mail! XXXX pointed out that their computers were for their employees and their clients. They guessed that the influx of strangers was from the testing company, and they wanted it to stop. The site manager agreed. So, he came around and made the announcement telling us not to go into XXXX's offices and use their computers.
While most of us were sitting there wondering, "Who would be so rude as to do that anyway?!?", someone in the back piped up. She wanted to know, "Are we still allowed to eat out of their candy dish?"
The manager stared at her to see if she was serious. She was.  He had to explain that the candy was for XXXX's clients, too, and please, just stay away from XXXX's offices altogether.
The work is over now, so those people are out there...loose...
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 Cleverly
disguised as a responsible adult
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THE_HAPPY_LO...
Adventuring Hero
lord of things pinchy
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posted September 17, 2006 01:16 AM |
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Stories from the worekplace eh? Have I got soe crazy ones for you guys! Kepp in mind that these are all true. I swear to God that unfortuantly these are all true.
I have worked in a public library for about two years now and I have seen some odd things. Many of these things include people turning in books with sqashed bugs, chocolate, or random green goo (that I don't even want to know what it is) on them. However sometimes some disturbed individual will go above and beyond and place an entire peanut-butter sandwich inside a book and close it. I will give you three guesses why they did this and I'll bet not a single one of them is correct, because not even God knows why they did this.
I also enjoyed admiring the house some yahoo had constructed out of books on one of the study room desks. It was made out of architechture books which I thought was pretty funny and ironic.
One of my favorites was the man who came up to the check-out desk and asked for all the boooks he had due before the waning of the next moon. The conversation went a little like this (with some creative made-up humor inside).
Me: Do you happen to know what date that is?
Patron: No, I work by the moon. I'm lunar.
Me: Looney?
Patron: No, lunar.
Me [to co-worker]: Do you know when the waning of the naext moon is?
Co-worker: Why in God's name would I know that?
Me: Are you lunar?
Co-worker: looney?
Me: No, lunar.
Eventually we looked up a moon to date map on google and were able to give the man his list. He has not returned, thank God.
I enjoyed this man.
Me: you have an overdue libarary book, sir.
Patron: It must be my daughter's. She is only seven and already being irresponsible with library materials. What's the title?
Me: Advanced psychology
Patron:................. That might be mine
Sometimes I find my job to be very similar to watching monkees in the zoo.
Hope you enjoyed,
The lobster
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Why am I happy? Because I am not being served with butter.
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted September 17, 2006 04:22 AM |
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This is a great thread… I am not sure which stories you are curious about –kitchen tales or school tales? I still have that story about the cute doctor that used come in to the deli I worked at... Perhaps all will be revealed in time While I think of something good, here's an anecdote from teaching, at the end of last year.
Sub-Urban Legend
It was a warm summers day, and all ovens were dutifully labouring to increase the 32 degree temperature outside to one more fitting of the hell within the degrading school kitchen. My office. The scent of twenty 15yos combined with casserole was spread evenly throughout the room by the world’s greatest invention – ceiling fans designed to send hot air downward. It was a good day so far no sliced fingers or burns, and we were yet to get to the flicking tea-towel stage of the lesson. Then I heard it behind me.
The language first, then the footsteps and the fists. Again. It seems like there is some inherent testosterone - boredom conglomeration that sends some teenage boys into cyclic outbursts with their mates. It is as regular as Val uploading new avatars. I don’t know why I thought I was going to make it to the end of the lesson in peace. Don’t get me wrong, there was no blood or anything, this is a type of primitive gorilla banter that is “only just mucking around Miss”. GAH. Anyway I start with the yelling as they are chasing each other around the kitchen – no knives thankfully.
I am still yelling when one of them runs into me and smashes me against the bench, crushing my hand. Ouch. Well I say a little more then Ouch. In fact I do something very unprofessional and stars fly out of my mouth, the stars aimed directly at the students are only mouthed but are caught by the eyes of another student. I tell the boys to go outside, and this time they listen. I am a bit annoyed by now if you didn’t realise.
Anyway, the amusing part of this tale is that after that day, a rumour went around the school, one that is now an Urban legend. You see, I, Kookastar, who stands 163cm tall and weighs 48 kg, had this 6 foot {and big} boy pinned up against the wall by the throat calling him a ***************. Heehee.  {clarification - at no point did I touch either of the boys or swear at them}
Addit: I will get to the sex ed lessons, you betcha
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted September 17, 2006 07:49 AM |
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Tale 2: The Mystery of the Missing Games
Ok, you are all here at Heroes Community (well most of you anyway) because at one time or another you have played a video game be it Heroes, Heroes related, or something entirely off the wall like Bible Quest (that's a fun one). So yesterday September 15, 2006 I came in to work to find out they only had four production lines running meaning they really only needed one QC Inspector (since generally each of us take five to seven lines at a time). However, we were told that we were welcome to work on one of the four running lines. As I said in my previous story, there are four of us QC Inspectors. Melvin, Deloris, Loranie, and me. Melvin is our senior QC only because he's been there since like before I was born...back when it was still TecniBlack and White. So he took charge over the four lines. Deloris decided to just go home so that left me and Loraine. I went one way and she went the other, just so we can spread the joy around. I found myself back on the cube line only this time from the other side. Within the first hour I had already displayed how well I work with these materials by getting my foot caught under these things that look like train tracks but have wheels on top for the pallets, then tripping, falling, and cutting my leg on the track. The line lead, like an idiot, screamed "He's on drugs, he's on drugs. Send him to the Clinic!"
I ignored him and headed back up to the security desk to get a Band-Aid because at this place you have to sign something just to get a bandage. I went in the bathroom, washed my leg, put the bandage on and headed back out to the floor to display some more of my high quality work. 
As I was walking by, my supervisor stopped me and asked where I was working today so I told him at which point he stopped me again and handed me a DMR which stands for Discrepant Material Report. This is the ultimate boo boo paper here at Technicolor because it means somebody somewhere at sometime screwed up their work order soooo badly that skids had to be pulled back from the distribution area before they were loaded on the truck. Now this is why I brought up the subject of video games earlier. At Technicolor we handle VG clients like EA, THQ, Activision, Atari, and a few others. EA is especially picky about their work so we consider all Game Media High Priority meaning each skid of games is checked by a QC personally before it is sent off to whatever store you guys buy games from. The plastic wrap must be perfect (or near enough) and the correct count MUST be in the boxes. This is especially important for new release games. Most Game stores like GameStop and EB Games will offer out a hold on games to their customers for a small deposit of like five dollars. If they are expecting a shipment of let's say 2400 Nintendo DS games (2400 is the amount on one skid of NDS) and they instead receive 2376 then they have a problem which means we have a problem because now we have Them plus the game company on us asking where their product is. So, everything is counted throughout the day. The boxes are weighed and their contents checked by a QC and the head of my department which is the Quality Assurance department...except on third shift because no one from my department feels like working that Godawful shift. So I start reading this DMR Mr. Fruity Tootie handed me and...uh oh...24 games OVER!? What this generally means is someone got lazy and decided to "forget" to put a few of the games in the box which in the long run hurts my money...I mean you the consumer/game addict (heh heh) because the box is marked with a label stating 48 games in this container. Whoops, so we missed a few. Oh well, right? Wrong. These games were already sold to the game store and the game store probably already promised a number of games to their customers who put down deposits for them so no one wins. Oh joy, more work for me as I now have to pull back 8 hours worth of work from third shift and sift through the boxes to find where they were short...oh and on top of that it's written down that those that were already gone through were found to have bad shrink meaning the plastic wrap around them (called shrink wrap because it shrinks in heat) has holes or it torn or burned. Fun. So for seven hours I went through boxes and finally around 8:30 PM I found the last box that was short. Just enough time to file my paperwork and sneak out..."Hey *insert my name here*, hold on. Line 3 is over eight games."
I turned to my co-QC Melvin and asked what happened now. He said we were finishing up a big order from third shift. Some PSP game. Apparently the entire third shift got a wild hair up their @$$es and felt it necessary to screw up every order they touched. One skid was found with an empty box. Yep, that's right. Taped and labeled and ready to ship...empty. Wow! So I looked at the order and quickly trained two guys on what to look for and stuff and got out of there by 9:40 which is 22 minutes past my quiting time. Now I know I shouldn't be complaining but come on. How do you mess up THAT much?
Ok, I'm done for now. And in true The_Ultimate_Male style just remember
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted September 18, 2006 11:29 AM |
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Well today at work was a bit full on so I feel like posting here
The day started out fairly normally, busy busy. My English class were presenting their persuasive speeches and I had the best time Some of the girls have so much creativity and enthusiasm I was literally in tears of laughter as they pranced around convincingly. Good Times.
Then after the break I was walking down the verandah to a class when one of the boys punched a window. Smashing glass was the least of my worries as his slashed hand was spraying blood all over the place as he paced around in rage and shock. He didn't say a word.
Wrapping up his hand in a teatowel and sending him off to the sick bay, the rest of the class were sedated and I set them some work, rang the janitor and taped up the window. Another day in paradise
The rest of the day was pretty much blah, trying to prise assignments from students and spending an hour on the paperwork that comes with the behaviour and the injury.
Oh and we got our class photos back today, OMG heehee Mug-shot mania.
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Iris
Responsible
Supreme Hero
of Typos
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posted October 27, 2006 03:35 AM |
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Well, I don't really work right now, so school stories will suffice.
So last night, three of my friends and I were cramming for our exam. Around 3:00AM, we were all starving and decided to go to Taco Bell for some food. On our way there, we realized that none of us had any cash on us. It wasn't really a problem, since we could just ask them to split up our orders, and we kind of joked around saying that if worse comes to worst, we'll just go around the drive-thru 4 times. So when we pulled up to order, my friend asked if it's okay to split up the order. Guy at intercom says, "Sorry, we can't do that." Friend says, "Well, do you mind if we drive through 4 times then?" Guy at intercom says, "Knock yourselves out." And so we drove around the drive thru. Four times.
It was around that hour in the morning when absolutely everything seemed funny. We were all cracking up like drunks and the guy working there wasn't amused at all. By our 3rd time around, one of my friends was like, "He's going to spit in our food." The driver said, "Good thing I went first." And for the last round, instead of circling, we just backed up from the window to the intercom, ordered, and drove back up. That was the highlight of my night. Sad.
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted October 27, 2006 06:18 AM |
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Wow, that sounds extremely...special.
I don't have any work stories to share with you all at the moment because I've A) forgotten them already or B) Things have actually been going rather well there. Yes busy but well. A quick one though. I applied for a QC position for first Shift so I could start going back to school (Because God knows I don't want to be at Technicolor for the rest of my life). In all honesty I had nearly forgotten that I had filled out that paperwork because i think I filled it out about three or four weeks ago. But anyway, It said I didn't get the position because I was not qualified enough. That's right, I'm not qualified to do the job that I'M ALREADY GETTING PAID TO DO! Apparently there's a huge difference between doing my job on first shift and doing it on second shift. I don't know what it is but If I'm so under-qualified that must mean it's something really bad like maybe the shift is run my mutant zombie freaks and all the boxes are on FIRE! Yeah, I think I'll keep telling myself that. It's either that or do some mind warping drug like shrooms or LSD because there's very little that can help your brain cope with something as stupid as that. (forgive me if I am over reacting/rantng but I just find it inconceivable that I even had to apply for the position that I'm already in...THAT I GOT PROMOTED TO!)
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted February 18, 2007 07:22 AM |
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A Tooth
...but not really.
Wow, been a while since I've posted a story here but this one was definitely worth the time to type. So READ IT!
Well, I'm still at Technicolor. Yes that joyous place of wonder that I waste 60% of my life away at just so I can save up enough money to buy myself a place and move out of my parents house. But let's get to the point shall we? Right then. So there I am on yet another day on the job where I find myself being forced to do crap work that I don't want to do. My position (as I've mentioned before) is a Quality Control Inspector which as I see it is basically a complicated baby-sitting job with paperwork. It is my duty to make sure the customers' instructions for how they want their product done is followed and as my manager says, "To Observe and Report".
That's all fine and dandy because I really don't mind it too much. So long as I don't have to deal with people who act retarded then I'm great. I have had a good day at work before. I think it was a Thursday. So anyway, what I don't like is when work is limited and one of two things happens: 1) I am sent to the Detroit Factory which is loud, dirty, and filled with convicts or 2) I stay where I'm at but am now made to work on the very lines I generally write up every day with people who don't like me very much because I've written them up.
This time it was number 2. Believe it or not the day actually went by pretty smoothly. I performed manual labor without injuring myself or others around me and time seemed to fly by. I did get lectured about using a non-Technicolor issued knife but I can't stand those things. They're little dinky "safety" knives that should be reserved for elementary students considering they don't cut JACK. Hence why I find myself still bringing my good utility blade that I bought at Home Depot. But now I've gotten off track, for that reason I'll hurry this along. I'll skip to the end of the night because that's when the REAL action begins.
So I find myself with nothing to do. It's 9:40 PM and our shift ends at 10:00. It's about this time that the production lines begin cleaning up and sweeping the floors so like a good little employee I agree to take the cardboard to the compactor for crushing and recycling. YAY! So I grab a pallet jack:
*one of these in case you didn't know
I went ahead and loaded the skid with the cardboard and proceeded to the compactors. When I had just about reached my destination I noticed the stacks of cardboard were getting wobbly and would soon topple over the floor. I kept an eye on them as I walked and suddenly the tower of box remains nearly took a spill so in a quick reaction I dropped my hands and grabbed the cardboard when suddenly I saw a white light before my eyes and immense pain in my face. As soon as my eyes refocused I realized why my mouth hurt so bad. When I had dropped my hands to save the boxes, I sacrificed my hold on the spring loaded handle and also my face. 
I grabbed some paper towel from a nearby dispenser to soak up the blood dripping from my mouth and to also catch the fragments of my tooth that the handle had busted. I know it sounds hard to believe but trust me, that thing packs a kick...in my face. I won't mention the stupidity of my supervisor who asked if I wanted a bandage for my bleeding lip. I will say however that I had a real nasty headache from the ordeal and a lot of disappointment. As many of you know, I just got my braces off last year so when I realized that I had a broken tooth, let's just say I was far from pleased.
On a side note my door wouldn't un-lock on the driver's side of my car and my phone case broke in half. What a lovely night.
Today is Saturday and I went to the dentist this morning. Thank God my cousin is a dentist otherwise I would have had to pay out my @$$ for the job he did. It looks good again I can chew on the left side of my mouth now. w00tness.
The moral of the story? Hmmm, not sure. Maybe I'll let you guys come up with one.
Oh and don't forget:
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Nidhgrin
Honorable
Famous Hero
baking cookies from stardust
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posted March 17, 2007 12:35 AM |
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Edited by Nidhgrin at 00:44, 17 Mar 2007.
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Today was the last day of a tough week...
Around the beginning of the year, someone started working for me. It's a guy who started in the team of Java developers who work on a big new project, and who didn't have any relevant experience to fall back on. Since it's a very competitive team, and they're facing rediculous deadlines, many junior developers have left us over the past year already.
Anyway, he was assigned to me with the intention of putting him to work on making installation builds. It's easier than programming, technically, but it's a rather tedious and boring job. Not many people had a lot of confidence in him, because his technical knowledge was rather poor. But I definitely wanted to give him a chance, because I felt he did have spirit, even though his last months had been rather demotivating.
Because the deadlines for the February release were so close, I didn't want to throw him into the flames, and assigned some process improvement oriented tasks to him. They're things I wish I had the time to do myself, but notice I can't spend more time on than a few hours every month. The ideas were in my head though, so it wasn't too hard to tell him where to start, and what to do, or answer his questions.
The 23th, the roll out of the release went rather well, and especially the new (and much more detailed) installation manual got a lot of praises. Because he did the largest part of the work on making the new installation manual template, it boosted his self asteem a lot, and I he works more independently now. Even though him working for me doesn't mean my days get shorter yet, a lot of long term ideas take shape right now, which would have taken me months, or even years to complete and implement. Today, he's developing standardized post implementation test, and we're starting up release management reporting, which will be especially useful in determining problem areas and to draw lessons for future releases.
That's all great, but one of my other responsabilities is the availability of all the development and test environments, as well as the installation of new software builds, and safeguarding the integrity of the architecture of the environments. Now, I have some basic Unix knowledge, have average knowledge of Oracle databases, and know bits and pieces about Weblogic configuration, Apaches, and other more exotic technologies that we use. But that knowledge isn't enough, by far, to have more than a good conceptual view on how things should be configured. So there were a couple of interviews to hire someone to take care of the technical aspect of managing all of the different environments.
Five weeks ago a second person started working for me. Technically he seemed skilled enough, and he was motivated as well. The fact that he has a different mother tongue was not so great, but his Dutch is okay, so I figured all would go allright. But it doesn't. There's no initiative. He doesn't do the things I ask him to do, or well tries, but when he gets stuck he doesn't ask for help and starts to optimize scripts and other things he likes to do, but not the things that are urgent, and that are among his core tasks. I discussed this two weeks ago, and set a number of tasks he had to complete. My agenda is overbooked, always is, so I guess it's not easy to get my attention, but the other guy working for me does.
I suppose it's not easy to learn about the way we work, and the complex situation with all of the different tools, servers, and applications. But I've asked one of the project managers to allow two of his people to help and assist, and explain as much as possible. Even though they're sceptical and not the most easy people to work with if you don't know them, I've learned some technical stuff from them this week (things I don't need to know to do my job, but just picked up by overhearing their conversations). Still no initiative, and given the current deadlines if I'd be more technically skilled I'd work 2 or 3 hours longer every day, and do it myself, but it's not a solution in the long run... Basically the two guys who should be helping with the explaining and tutoring are doing everything by themselves right now, in order to be able to meet the approaching deadlines.
So I'm gonna open a new private discussion next week, and set some very specific goals and concrete deadlines. If that doesn't work, I'll have to ask the head of the department to not prolong his contract. Maybe I'm too soft in these kind of matters, because I have probably given him more chances than any of the other staff members would have. It still sucks to have to stress people like this though, even though strictly speaking he's not doing what he was hired for, and just playing around. And it sucks even more to probably have to fire someone, even though he's a hired consultant like many of my colleagues. Now this is an unexpectedly unpleasant part of the job! Bah...
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Khaelo
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Underwater
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posted March 19, 2007 01:37 AM |
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Happy Lobster forgot to mention the person who put a squid down the bookdrop over a long weekend. That's by far one of the strangest library stories I've heard.
I'm now working in a library system as well. The public libraries around here have a number of fancy machines to automate things and give the patrons more self-service options (translation: patrons help themselves so city doesn't have to pay as many library employees). One of these is Express Check-out, where patrons scan their own library card and items to get a due date slip. However, there are a number of details which can hold up a patron's check-out, anything from having too many fines to needing their card renewed (cards automatically expire after a set amount of time; no fault of the patron's). Sometimes, the machines are just moody. When they first arrived, any of these little hitches would result in the machines telling the patron, "You have problems!" Staff, who had to deal with irked patrons, complained to the company who donated the machines. Now the machines say, "Your card has issues!" Much less personal. They're still not well-behaved: one express check-out in a neighboring system has a broken face from being punched, and the older machines seem to take more sick leave than the staff does.
Then there are the self check-IN machines. My system has three of these gizmos in the shiny new downtown library. Patrons return items by putting them through the self check-in machines, which scan the barcodes and print out a receipt. They are supposed to reassure patrons that all materials have been recorded as returned, and they sort the items out for the staff. In theory, this is a beautifully efficient system. In practice...well, when I was being trained downtown, one of the three machines was out of order. One of the remaining two was being used by an annoyed-looking patron, so the trainer started to show us the third. As she was talking, the patron next to us, infuriated by his machine's failure to recognize a magazine, raised his voice and started trying to shake the machine loose from the wall! The trainer quickly intervened and offered to check in the magazine at the third machine...which promptly announced that it was now out of order. The trainer took the magazine into the workroom to check it in on a normal computer, the patron went away (probably vowing to use only old-fashioned bookdrops next time), and we new employees got a taste of automated "efficiency."
The self check-ins are connected to the big sorting machine which is affectionately known as the Mangler. Its favored prey are magazines, but it also ate a small bird that somehow got trapped in the workroom. 'Nuff said.
Last anecdote: There's a new DVD out called Bush's Brain. I believe it's about Karl Rove's role in Bush's campaigns and administration. Anyway, a patron brought back a copy and informed us that the disc wouldn't play. We inserted the required form to send it downtown for repair. Bush's Brain is now officially a Damaged Item. 
____________
Cleverly
disguised as a responsible adult
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