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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted February 09, 2007 08:49 PM |
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Never rush a genious, Vokial. Let the man find his inspiration.
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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VokialBG
Honorable
Legendary Hero
First in line
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posted February 09, 2007 08:53 PM |
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Edited by VokialBG at 21:01, 09 Feb 2007.
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Quote:
(I promised a girl I'll read her complete favourite book serial - Wheel of Time... She's totally into fantasy, even more than me perhaps, so I feel the need to prove myself  Besides, reading WoT is a must for any self-respecting fantasy freak which I aspire to become  )
Good choice  LoL all of all 11 books , I need to do this one day too
P.S.
I'm starting "The Seer King" books tomorrow
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted February 11, 2007 03:38 PM |
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The official Episode #99 trailer:
Narrator: The villain was defeated...
/Fortressfano shown in Bad-Mannered chains yelling "NOOOOO"/
Narrator: Love was victorious...
/KD and Kookastarella shown in a "just married" coach/
Narrator: It all seemed finished...
/Angelito shown looking at the coach/
Angelito: Well I guess that's over with.
/Fade-out/
Fortressfano's voice: Guess again.
/Adrenaline-filling music starts, first with the bass-drums/
/Various scene parts and characters, like in all trailers (different scenes shown with * signs):/
Vokialisso (to Angelito): He has risen!
***
Teddos: Call Valeriy!
Pandorella: Can't... He's on vacation... We're on our own...
***
Fortressfano (to Doomos Forgero): Bring your torch out... I want the Inn to burn!
***
/Scene of troops breaking into the inn, slaying people and burning the place down. Other instruments join the music. Fortressfano's voice is still heard/
Fortressfano: I want every Tavern dweller... No matter the nick and occupation... To be transformed.
***
Count De La Vlaada: He has gained control of the Inn! He's going for the FAQ!
Narrator: This summer... Well it's more of a winter/spring but it's close enough...
***
Alcibiadez: Man the barricades! If he reaches the CoC we are doomed...
Narrator: The dead will return...
***
/Cool sounding chorus joins the music/
Angelito: Muster the Modhirrim!
Narrator: The bad-mannered will become supreme...
***
Fortressfano: Spam them. Spam them all!
***
Angelito: This is an age of freedom! Of order! Of QPs!
Narrator: And the fate of the community...
***
/The scene changes to a view of mass battle/
Narrator: Is about to be decided...
/The music stops/
***
Alcibiadez: I need to go to the bathroom...
***
/The music continues and the battle is shown again, only in slow motion... It lasts for a few seconds and the music, along with the screen, fades out. Pandorella's voice is heard/
Pandorella: That guy has serious mental issues...
/EPISODE #99 - IN TOPICS SOON/
/Rated PG-13/
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted February 11, 2007 04:15 PM |
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Hmm... that doesn't look very soap like
Not that I mind of course.
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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VokialBG
Honorable
Legendary Hero
First in line
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posted February 11, 2007 04:24 PM |
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Edited by VokialBG at 20:19, 11 Feb 2007.
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted February 11, 2007 04:43 PM |
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Quote:
Hmm... that doesn't look very soap like
I'm experimenting with styles from episode to episode. #97 was a soap (of a sort), #98 was an action/adventure and #99 is going to be an epic. It would get kinda boring to both write and read it if the episodes were all the same...
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Fortress_fan
Disgraceful
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posted February 11, 2007 05:24 PM |
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Arisen? Like a lich?
Great work btw.
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Card_Ximinez
Famous Hero
no
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posted February 11, 2007 05:48 PM |
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Quote:
Fortressfano: Yes, he did... He is an outlaw and a S.P.A.M.-er, and he will burn!
Quote:
Fortressfano: Spam them. Spam them all!
First Fortressfano is against SPAM.
Then he tells his minions to SPAM.
Weird.
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted February 11, 2007 06:08 PM |
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Quote:
First Fortressfano is against SPAM.
Then he tells his minions to SPAM.
Excellent noticing. I'm glad you paid attention. 
That's one of those quazi-surprising moments in the story which I can't reveal to you just yet. Although it's quite possible to figure it out... But never mind. #99 will reveal some of Fortressfano's dreadest plans, which will include SPAM, newcomers, CoC, FAQ, QPs, other members, mods and more. He IS an evil mastermind after all...
 Hey, I might just have a role for you... Stay tuned...
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Fortress_fan
Disgraceful
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posted February 11, 2007 06:29 PM |
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Quote:
Hey, I might just have a role for you... Stay tuned...
I need him. It becomes more interesting if it is 2-3 evil-doers against all rather than one evil mastermind against all.
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted February 11, 2007 06:37 PM |
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Oh no you don't. Ximinez is ours. You get GenieLord and Doomforge. Geny's probably going to be in too.
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted February 11, 2007 06:45 PM |
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Huh?
Sorry, but since when am I allied with fortress_fan and doom?
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted February 11, 2007 07:07 PM |
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Relax. I know what I'm doing. Wait and you'll see.
Gosh I have a lot of stuff to put into #99... It will probably be pretty long...
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted February 11, 2007 07:15 PM |
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Ok, I guess I'll have to trust you..
Oh and by the way, the first rule of the soap operas (or any series for that matter) is: if you have to much plot material - divide it between different episodes.
____________
DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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TDL
Honorable
Supreme Hero
The weak suffer. I endure.
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posted February 11, 2007 07:22 PM |
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xD that was a fun read... especially that it *tuned me back into* HC latest business...
btw, once everything is done, baklava, i suggest you to add links to all episodes on page 1 --- it will be rather hard to wade through these *cough cough* mmm *cough* one-lin... posts
p.s. there could be a training session of "creating a successful soap"
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Fortress_fan
Disgraceful
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posted February 11, 2007 07:35 PM |
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Quote:
Ok, I guess I'll have to trust you..
Oh and by the way, the first rule of the soap operas (or any series for that matter) is: if you have to much plot material - divide it between different episodes.
Welcome to the winning side Genyos! Come to my side and I will grant you leadership over one of my huge SPAM legions and introduce you to my champion, Doomos Forges. You will be richly rewarded when victory is ours!
But if you stay with my enemies, the scum loyal to Angelito, you will suffer in entity. Not only will my horde swarm over your pathetic barricades and kill everyone who oppose them, like you, you will also be raised by SPAM as one of the mindless ones, the slaves bound to me forever. You will never rest, never enjoy anything and you will always hear my voice in your head. You will be the sword-fodder on the front doing the hardest work for me, and you will never question my will again.
So the choice is easy, join me and rule or suffer until the end of time!
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted February 11, 2007 09:33 PM |
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Quote:
if you have to much plot material - divide it between different episodes.
Mah, I'd have to add the "to be continued" sign then... And I hate that... If I split it into two episodes (which would be perfect because then there'd be exactly 100 of them... I bet you wonder why I started from #97 but what the hell...) then I'll write them both at once, since I hate pausing in the middle of something. Or I might simply make it as one episode and make it a trilogy...
Quote:
btw, once everything is done, baklava, i suggest you to add links to all episodes on page 1
Well the main post is actually Vokial's so I guess he's in charge of that He's the executive marketing director.
Quote:
and you will always hear my voice in your head.
I guess that's the toughest part...
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted February 19, 2007 10:01 PM |
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HC films in association with HC organisation presents
An HC production
HC Soap by Baklava
EPISODE #99
Fortressfano Reloaded
/Dark corners of the punishment institution for the bad mannered… Fortressfano is chained to a wall, rotting in disability to post
Trogdorino: So why are you here?
Fortressfano: Trying to take over the community…
Trogdorino: Oh… That’s bad…
Fortressfano: Wait, I think I know you. You're Trodgerino, right?
Trogdorino: It's Trogdorino actually...
Some mystical voice: Hello Fortressfano
Fortressfano: What? Who’s that?! How do you know my name?
The Hacker: You can call me the Hacker. I’ve been around, hacking accounts.
Trogdorino: You’re the one who did… that to William?
The Hacker: Oh yes. But that was just the beginning. You see, I have grown in power in time. I read some manuals. I can free you from this place, if you agree to help me.
Trogdorino: Sure!
The Hacker: I wasn’t talking to you, Trodgerino.
Trogdorino: IT'S TROGDORINO!
Fortressfano: Help you? With what?
The Hacker: Taking over the place. You shall find that working for me has its benefits.
Trogdorino: What’s the use? Presidente Valeriyo will always be here to spoil your plans.
The Hacker: Oh don’t worry, Trodgerino. I’ve dealt with him… He won’t be disturbing us for some time.
Trogdorino: FOR CHRISSAKES PEOPLE IT'S TROGDORINO! DOES IT FREAKING HURT TO CALL ME TROGDORINO?!!!
Fortressfano (ignoring Trodgerino): How did you manage to defeat the almighty Presidente?
The Hacker (embarassed): Well… I didn’t actually defeat him… He’s more, like, on a holiday. But nevertheless, this is a great chance to take things over.
Fortressfano: True… Ok, let’s get to business then.
/Fortressfano’s status suddenly changes from bad mannered to responsible. The chains break and he gets out of the prison/
Trogdorino: Hey, guys, you forgot about me. Guys? Guys! Oh God damn it…
/The wedding ceremony... KD is married with Kookastarella and they get into a "just married" coach. It goes away. Everyone’s watching/
Angelito: Well I guess that’s over with.
Alcibiadez: I like happy endings…
Pandorella: Am I the only one noticing the episode just started?
/A moment of silence/
Vokialisso: So?
Pandorella: Well it can’t be over yet.
/Another moment of silence as everyone digests that fact/
Teddos: Let’s all get drunk!
/Everyone starts cheering loudly and going to the “Taberna de la salida del sol” bar to destroy their livers with vast quantities of various alcoholic drinks/
/Fortressfano takes out his cellphone. He browses his phonebook until he finds a number named “Vatican”. He dials it and waits. Finally the answering machine is activated/
Machine: Hello. This is the Roman Catholic customer service. If you have a confession to make, press one. If you wish to convert yourself to our Church, press two. If you would like to inform us of heresy, press three.
/Fortressfano presses three/
Machine: Please wait until an inquisitor is free to talk with.
/Cute music starts playing. After several seconds, an inquisitor answers the phone/
Doomos: This is inquisitor Doomos Forges. How can I help you?
Fortressfano: Uh… I would like to report heresy.
Doomos: Mhm. I just have to inform you, we can’t burn Jewish people. It’s too risky and their lobby is too tough.
Fortressfano: These heretics are not Jewish.
Doomos: We also can’t do Voodoo followers. They’re spooky and smell funny.
Fortressfano: No, no, they’re not Voodoo either.
Doomos: Well then you are doing the right thing, sir. Infidels must burn to realise the error of their ways. Uh, what’s your current location?
Fortressfano: RHCP.
Doomos: Red Hot Chilli Peppers?
Fortressfano: Republic of Heroes Community People.
Doomos: Ah. So what kind of heretics are we talking about? Satanists, Muslims, hippies…?
Fortressfano: Well… Actually they’re not heretics but I’ll make an adequate donation to the One Church if you can burn them.
Doomos (suspicious): How adequate?
Fortressfano: Half a million euros adequate.
Doomos (cheered up): I see. I’m on my way, sir.
Fortressfano: Thank you. (hangs up) Now to get the others…
***
/Bob Geny, a young rock musician, is practicing some chords on an acoustic guitar in his apartment. Suddenly he hears the doorbell/
Geny: I’ll be right there dude…
/Geny opens the door and sees Fortressfano outside/
Geny: Who the hell are you?
Fortressfano: A friend. I need you to work for me.
Geny: Whoa dude you got the wrong apartment…
Fortressfano: Perhaps this will draw your attention?
/Fortressfano pulls out a 2004 Gibson Explorer and hands it to Geny/
Geny (after a respectful pause): Sh*t… Is it original?
Fortressfano: Right from the US of A… And it’s waiting just for you.
Geny: So what do I have to do?
Fortressfano: To help me… I’m in need of henchmen right now and you have quite some potential.
***
/The laboratories of Lord George Enie (G. Enie. You get the point. It’s getting harder and harder to think up the names…), a British ex-noble who came to the RHCP to continue his insane research on human minds and to be able to buy larger quantities of coffee. Fortressfan enters the room while Enie is experimenting on some brains/
Fortressfano: What’s up George?
Lord G. Enie: Nothing. Having fun. Would you like some tea?
Fortressfano: Sure, why not…
Lord G. Enie (sipping a cup of tea to Fortressfano): Here you go.
Fortressfano (drinking tea): Hm… I don’t usually drink tea but this is actually good… A little strange though. I guess you made it from brains, ha ha.
/An uncomfortable pause. Enie is not laughing/
Fortressfano: Oh for Christ’s sake… Where’s the bathroom? Or, if you’d prefer that I throw up on the carpet…
Lord G. Enie: First door to the left. I can’t believe how weak stomach some people have…
Fortressfano goes to the bathroom. “Blargh” noises are heard. He goes out of the bathroom and sits back in the chair
Lord G. Enie: Would you like another cup?
Fortressfano: Are you aware of the decapitated moose laying in your bathroom tub?
Lord G. Enie: Yeah… I took his head and hanged it on the wall, but didn’t know what to do with the rest of it. I guess I could’ve buried it in the backyard but it’s more exotic this way… And keeps the cockroaches out.
Fortressfano (nodding): So, I’ve heard you made some progress in the mind-taking technique.
Lord G. Enie: Yeah… You can poke someone with this stick (gives Fortressfano a stick with an electrical thingy on one end of it) and he’ll become a mindless zombie, controlled by the one that poked him.
Fortressfano: Interesting… But physically impossible.
Lord G. Enie: Well then you wouldn’t mind if I poked you…
Fortressfano: NO! I mean, no, that isn’t necessary. I’ll trust you on this one. After all, you created S.P.A.M…
Lord G. Enie: Speaking of which, did it work?
Fortressfano: Nah, everyone stood on Dougalitto’s side.
Lord G. Enie: Tough luck… Well then, I guess you can use it freely now.
Fortressfano: What do you mean?
Lord G. Enie (walking to a cupboard and taking a strange weapon out of it): This is the SPAM-42 rifle. Rather painful. Uses 9mm SPAM bullets…
Fortresfano: Useful… I’ll take a dozen of those… I might just need them…
***
/Next scene, the “Taberna de la salida del sol”/
Vokialisso (to the bartender): Yeah, uhm, I’ll take a Bloody Mary… But keep the Mary, if you know what I mean…
Bartender: Wtf
Vokialisso (resigned): *sigh* Never mind. Look, guys, I’m going over to the Newcomers’ Inn to drain some noob blood, I’ll be right back.
De La Vlaada: Don’t accept candy from strangers…
Vokialisso: Dad how many times do I have to tell you I’m not five anymore!
De La Vlaada: One can never be too cautious…
Vokialisso: Whatever…
***
Fortressfano (to his minions, standing in front of the Newcomers’ Inn): Minions! The battle for our reign starts today! Prepare your sticks! I want every Tavern dweller... No matter the nick and occupation... To be transformed. And when that’s done, when they all join my mindless army… (Fortressfano turns to Doomos) …bring your torch out... I want the Inn to burn!
/The raid starts. Minions break into the Inn and start poking the noobs, turning them into zombies. Then they take out torches and burn the place. Vokialisso accidentally comes just in that moment, sees what’s happening and runs away/
***
/Vokialisso enters the “Taberna de la salida del sol“ quickly and starts yelling/
Vokialisso: He has risen!
Angelito: Who has risen?
Vokialisso: Fortressfano! He’s back!
Alcibiadez: It think you should take it easy with the alcohol next time.
Vokialisso: I’m serious! They burned the Inn down!
Pandorella: What?! But… What about the noobs?
Vokialisso: He poked them with sticks!
Angelito: Oh no, he poked them with sticks, whatever shall we do…
Vokialisso: special electrical sticks that turn people into zombies!
Angelito (to God): Why does there always have to be a catch?
De La Vlaada: I’ll go there and see what happened. You guys stay here.
***
/Burning ruins of the Inn. De La Vlaada checks the situation out under the effects of the Disguise spell/
Fortressfano: Since this is the place where all noobs come, I want a huge statue of the magnificent me in the middle of the ruins. I want all newcomers to know they must obey me, the one true overlord of this land.
Hacker’s voice: Oh are you, Fortressfano?
Fortressfano (shivering): Ok, the second greatest overlord of this land…
Hacker’s voice: That’s better. Never forget, I am always here. I am always EVERYWHERE.
Fortressfano: Yes master!
Hacker’s voice: Now, you’ll go for the FAQ. Once that document is destroyed, our enemies won’t know what to do, which will give us supreme strategic advantage. After that, wait for further orders…
***
/The Taberna again/
Count De La Vlaada: He has gained control of the Inn! He's going for the FAQ!
Angelito: We can’t get there in time… So we’ll need someone who can get there quickly and distract them until we arrive.
Pandorella: I think I know just the person…
***
/The FAQ tower. Fortressfano approaches the door/
Fortressfano: I’m glad this place isn’t guarded… This way I can take on the mod troops later. Zombies, break through the door.
/Suddenly a strange, thunder-like sound is heard. It was getting stronger and stronger, as if something was approaching wery swiftly. Fortressfano looks at the horizon/
Fortressfano: If that’s who I think it is…
/A customized Harley-Davidson can now be seen nicely. It’s heading at Fortressfano. Its rider suddenly draws out two submachine guns and starts decimating zombies. In a moment, the rider jumps out and stands on the ground, stopping with the shooting. He points his brown, shaved head at Fortressfano and looks at him/
Fortressfano: Mister MightyMage.
MightyMage: Mister Fortressfano.
Fortressfano: You know you cannot stop me.
MightyMage: Perhaps. But I can take out my guns and shoot the crap out of your zombies, which is almost as fun.
Fortressfano: If that’s how you want it… ZOMBIES, SPAM HIM!
/Zombies start attacking him with SPAM rifles (Yes, they do know how to use SPAM rifles. Yes. I know they are zombies. In Hellsing cartoon, zombies use submachine guns and no one said anything about it). He looks at them daringly and reloads his weapons/
TO BE CONTINUED…
I always hated the “to be continued” episodes, but I had to do this since I don’t want to keep you waiting any longer. I’ll try to write #100 as soon as possible. I’m pretty much in chaos right now, with school, books, guitar, and other stuff (believe it or not, I have a life beside HC) so please excuse me for being so bloody slow…
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted February 19, 2007 10:15 PM |
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Ouch ... you made Geny go to the Dark side - trying to steal his fans?
And it works. I still love it!
____________
What will happen now?
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted February 19, 2007 10:19 PM |
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Quote:
Ouch ... you made Geny go to the Dark side - trying to steal his fans?
Dude! It's, like, a 2004 Gibson Explorer! Besides, like I said, just wait and you'll see.
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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This thread is pages long: 
