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| Thread: 9367 word at a time story begins | |
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted March 16, 2007 04:52 PM |
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Edited by Celfious at 16:57, 16 Mar 2007.
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9367 word at a time story begins
this is your chance to excellerate, people
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What are you up to
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted March 16, 2007 08:48 PM |
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted March 16, 2007 10:30 PM |
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Nonono, you need to post 9367 words, not only one
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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GenieLord
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted March 16, 2007 11:31 PM |
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted March 16, 2007 11:48 PM |
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Oceana's triplicate synthetic recreation from the Space Ark's registry of binary data was the first Being to be regenerated from the Terrestrial Ark's deep well of androgynous doubles and carnal genetic ancestors. Her three natural human sisters, whom the Androgynyns resurrected within bioreactors from the dust of Hearth, went on to resurrect all her brothers and sisters from the Earth including her Androgynyn Twins Destiny and Dreamer whom had been created while the expedition was still in Space to complete those new Flying Pyramids! Oceana's identical triplets of Tri-Animated personifications then zoomed up and away to Charm in their Circular Wings where they resided with all the replicate synthetic patriarchs and matriarchs. Many more of those twin replicates could have been cloned to inhabit that lunar orb's bleak desert lands. However, only the original twenty Androgynyns came to live upon the cold, dry world. There were frequent mutual flights of visitation betwixt the Androgynyn inhabitants of Hearth's tandem planetoid and the carnal people on its close companion planet. Perhaps someday the twenty amaranthine representatives from planet Earth might again zoom off to yet another empyrean sometime in the very distant future. Then, pyramids also were built upon their moon Charm! And once a month for three consecutive nights during a full moon, both the peoples of those two close worlds watched a wondrous arc of light emanating between the high points atop each world's crystal monuments as the moon briefly waxed full during its rotation around Hearth. On the moonlit evenings, their sun's light reflected off Charm and showered down onto Hearth, then mirrored back to Charm from Hearth as that planet's diamantine pyramids refracted Charm's brilliant moonshine back into a versicolored, kaleidoscopic rainbow! Eventually, people throughout their spiral galaxy flew near those worlds on frequent flights into the Hearth system so they too could behold a striking and singularly surrealistic celestial light show known to exist nowhere else in the entire new cosmos! As Charm's moonrise began its slow ascent over Hearth's twilight horizon, a misty iris formed around the lunar world, then began to transfigure into a bright rainbow bridging that planet to its satellite! On those three days, Hearth's inhabitants were drawn irresistibly outside for all three evenings to enjoy the colorful luminescence produced as another enduring reminder of its creators, and made just for pleasure too, for no one ever grew tired of strolling nightly each month on those eves to gaze awestruck skyward to the night heavens if only to delight in their beloved nocturnal, and sacred, arc of light! The popularity of skylights in homes on Hearth made certain that no one in that world ever had to miss a sparkling display of the arching spectrum! And, Charm's crystal cathedrals were ideal places from which the Androgynyns could view the delightful ribbon in the sky. The Grand Prism Pyramids were the Androgynyn Yankee's original idea. They were her symbol for Heaven on Hearth! Her natural double, Yolanda Yankee Cabrero, had loved Fourth of July fireworks every year back on planet Earth in her homeland where she had lived, and she never seemed to see her fill of the colorful sparklers. Yankee remembered that, and so the fabulous Aurora was her gleaming gift built in memoriam to her unique carnal twin and a dazzling treasure that everyone on Hearth and Charm loved! It was the brethren of the lightbringing who called the treasure of hearth to their beckoning. The summoned the calling of the Empyrean past freelings and brought them to the chamber of respite. The Empyrean governing Moretians and Dispasians disputed the arrogance of the bringers of light and brang them to their conscious knees with decrees of forbiddance. Into the night fled the lead prism forger! She would tell the three sisters of the past glories of the majestic dynastic confederation of Hearth and Home arching plexis. She would unfold the future requirements of the impossibly categorized sisters of scintillating movement. Long live the gathering of Empyrean! There were frequent mutual flights of visitation betwixt the Androgynyn inhabitants of Hearth's tandem planetoid and the carnal people on its close companion planet. Then, pyramids also were built upon their moon Charm! And once a month for three consecutive nights during a full moon, both the peoples of those two close worlds watched a wondrous arc of light emanating between the high points atop each world's crystal monuments as the moon briefly waxed full during its rotation around Hearth. On the moonlit evenings, their sun's light reflected off Charm and showered down onto Hearth, then mirrored back to Charm from Hearth as that planet's diamantine pyramids refracted Charm's brilliant moonshine back into a versicolored, kaleidoscopic rainbow! As Charm's moonrise began its slow ascent over Hearth's twilight horizon, a perplexing rainbow formed around the Ostrichian world, then began to transfigure into a bright rainbow bridging that planet to its satellite! The Grand Prism Pyramids were the Androgynyn Bisqually's original idea. They were her symbol for Heaven on Hearth! Duar remembered that, and so the fabulous Aurora was her gleaming gift built in memoriam to her unique carnal twin and a dazzling fresco that everyone on Hearth and Charm loved! Long live the gathering of Empyrean!
That's 869, I'll be back with the other 8498 in a bit...
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted March 17, 2007 12:29 AM |
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2nd protagonist
The diurnal course commenced when the stellar phenomena accented and the nocturnal blackness ceased to be the day heretofore. I relinquished my commodious position on my platformed matress whence I had slumbered and sauntered on my legs made from bone and flesh and other stuff, and ventured out onto the wooden boards that are supported by beams and joists. To my surprise I saw the Androgynyn Twins Destiny and Dreamer, just standing there, waiting to recreate my great-great uncle in a virtual sphere of biojargon and techobleep and knew at once I was saved - well for once I knew, because the neurons in my brains were pressing on sensors and then telling me that I was saved. Could this really be… could they really be Andgrogenous, they didn’t look like the H5 angel at all, and deep within Dreamer’s gowns somewhere there seemed to be something stirring. I guess a community built with both patriarchs and matriarchs although yet still anddrogenarks could get a little steamy at bathtimes. Somewhere I heard a yankee calling, and dandy in the carnal sparkle of the cosmic twins there was a doodle that needed a stand at the forth of July. There was no fairy floss on Charm however, just the vacant stares of smaller, less developed humanoidytes and the only thing sold at these stands were globes of plastic spheres that the spaceshuttle marshals disallowed because fluid is too dangerous a commodity to be airborn.
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uhuh
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted March 17, 2007 12:35 AM |
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Quote:
2nd protagonist
uhh...where?
did you even read my post Kooka?
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kookastar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted March 17, 2007 12:42 AM |
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I heard feint cries of a little birdie spring forth from the brethren of the chosen and those synapses in my brain triggered a zing through to my receptors again. Thank Dreamer, who by now was standing flush against my back and I was beginning to hold severe doubts about the whole androgenous status doober. Regardless of this fact, I turned to the little birdie and used the hybrid rays of pixelated proton emissions to instruct it to shuttup and keep writing. Then I used the language converter hidden in my fake teeth to translate the phrase "shuttup and keep writing", into something like, you are sexy especially in a totally androgenous way with eyelids fluttering so that the neural message was not offensive to the receptors of any lifeforms in the galactical community of Destiny and Dreaming and Jacuzzis.
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uhuh
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted March 17, 2007 12:47 AM |
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okay that's a lot better. much clearer...
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted March 18, 2007 06:06 AM |
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9367 words:
Immediately after doing so, I stopped, and suddenly remembered how it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.
``My dear Mr. Bennet,'' said his lady to him one day, ``have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?''
Mr. Bennet replied that he had not.
``But it is,'' returned she; ``for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it.''
Mr. Bennet made no answer.
``Do not you want to know who has taken it?'' cried his wife impatiently.
``You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.''
This was invitation enough.
``Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs. Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England; that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it that he agreed with Mr. Morris immediately; that he is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end of next week.''
``What is his name?''
``Bingley.''
``Is he married or single?''
``Oh! single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our girls!''
``How so? how can it affect them?''
``My dear Mr. Bennet,'' replied his wife, ``how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them.''
``Is that his design in settling here?''
``Design! nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that he may fall in love with one of them, and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes.''
``I see no occasion for that. You and the girls may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better; for, as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr. Bingley might like you the best of the party.''
``My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be any thing extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown up daughters, she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty.''
``In such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of.''
``But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr. Bingley when he comes into the neighbourhood.''
``It is more than I engage for, I assure you.''
``But consider your daughters. Only think what an establishment it would be for one of them. Sir William and Lady Lucas are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general, you know they visit no new comers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for us to visit him, if you do not.''
``You are over-scrupulous, surely. I dare say Mr. Bingley will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent to his marrying which ever he chuses of the girls; though I must throw in a good word for my little Lizzy.''
``I desire you will do no such thing. Lizzy is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she is not half so handsome as Jane, nor half so good humoured as Lydia. But you are always giving her the preference.''
``They have none of them much to recommend them,'' replied he; ``they are all silly and ignorant like other girls; but Lizzy has something more of quickness than her sisters.''
``Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves.''
``You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least.''
``Ah! you do not know what I suffer.''
``But I hope you will get over it, and live to see many young men of four thousand a year come into the neighbourhood.''
``It will be no use to us if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them.''
``Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty I will visit them all.''
Mr. Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three and twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character. Her mind was less difficult to develope. She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented, she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and news.
MR. Bennet was among the earliest of those who waited on Mr. Bingley. He had always intended to visit him, though to the last always assuring his wife that he should not go; and till the evening after the visit was paid, she had no knowledge of it. It was then disclosed in the following manner. Observing his second daughter employed in trimming a hat, he suddenly addressed her with,
``I hope Mr. Bingley will like it, Lizzy.''
``We are not in a way to know what Mr. Bingley likes,'' said her mother resentfully, ``since we are not to visit.''
``But you forget, mama,'' said Elizabeth, ``that we shall meet him at the assemblies, and that Mrs. Long has promised to introduce him.''
``I do not believe Mrs. Long will do any such thing. She has two nieces of her own. She is a selfish, hypocritical woman, and I have no opinion of her.''
``No more have I,'' said Mr. Bennet; ``and I am glad to find that you do not depend on her serving you.''
Mrs. Bennet deigned not to make any reply; but unable to contain herself, began scolding one of her daughters.
``Don't keep coughing so, Kitty, for heaven's sake! Have a little compassion on my nerves. You tear them to pieces.''
``Kitty has no discretion in her coughs,'' said her father; ``she times them ill.''
``I do not cough for my own amusement,'' replied Kitty fretfully.
``When is your next ball to be, Lizzy?''
``To-morrow fortnight.''
``Aye, so it is,'' cried her mother, ``and Mrs. Long does not come back till the day before; so it will be impossible for her to introduce him, for she will not know him herself.''
``Then, my dear, you may have the advantage of your friend, and introduce Mr. Bingley to her.''
``Impossible, Mr. Bennet, impossible, when I am not acquainted with him myself; how can you be so teazing?''
``I honour your circumspection. A fortnight's acquaintance is certainly very little. One cannot know what a man really is by the end of a fortnight. But if we do not venture, somebody else will; and after all, Mrs. Long and her nieces must stand their chance; and therefore, as she will think it an act of kindness, if you decline the office, I will take it on myself.''
The girls stared at their father. Mrs. Bennet said only, ``Nonsense, nonsense!''
``What can be the meaning of that emphatic exclamation?'' cried he. ``Do you consider the forms of introduction, and the stress that is laid on them, as nonsense? I cannot quite agree with you there. What say you, Mary? for you are a young lady of deep reflection I know, and read great books, and make extracts.''
Mary wished to say something very sensible, but knew not how.
``While Mary is adjusting her ideas,'' he continued, ``let us return to Mr. Bingley.''
``I am sick of Mr. Bingley,'' cried his wife.
``I am sorry to hear that; but why did not you tell me so before? If I had known as much this morning, I certainly would not have called on him. It is very unlucky; but as I have actually paid the visit, we cannot escape the acquaintance now.''
The astonishment of the ladies was just what he wished; that of Mrs. Bennet perhaps surpassing the rest; though when the first tumult of joy was over, she began to declare that it was what she had expected all the while.
``How good it was in you, my dear Mr. Bennet! But I knew I should persuade you at last. I was sure you loved our girls too well to neglect such an acquaintance. Well, how pleased I am! and it is such a good joke, too, that you should have gone this morning, and never said a word about it till now.''
``Now, Kitty, you may cough as much as you chuse,'' said Mr. Bennet; and, as he spoke, he left the room, fatigued with the raptures of his wife.
``What an excellent father you have, girls,'' said she, when the door was shut. ``I do not know how you will ever make him amends for his kindness; or me either, for that matter. At our time of life, it is not so pleasant I can tell you, to be making new acquaintance every day; but for your sakes, we would do any thing. Lydia, my love, though you are the youngest, I dare say Mr. Bingley will dance with you at the next ball.''
``Oh!'' said Lydia stoutly, ``I am not afraid; for though I am the youngest, I'm the tallest.''
The rest of the evening was spent in conjecturing how soon he would return Mr. Bennet's visit, and determining when they should ask him to dinner.
NOT all that Mrs. Bennet, however, with the assistance of her five daughters, could ask on the subject was sufficient to draw from her husband any satisfactory description of Mr. Bingley. They attacked him in various ways; with barefaced questions, ingenious suppositions, and distant surmises; but he eluded the skill of them all; and they were at last obliged to accept the second-hand intelligence of their neighbour Lady Lucas. Her report was highly favourable. Sir William had been delighted with him. He was quite young, wonderfully handsome, extremely agreeable, and, to crown the whole, he meant to be at the next assembly with a large party. Nothing could be more delightful! To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love; and very lively hopes of Mr. Bingley's heart were entertained.
``If I can but see one of my daughters happily settled at Netherfield,'' said Mrs. Bennet to her husband, ``and all the others equally well married, I shall have nothing to wish for.''
In a few days Mr. Bingley returned Mr. Bennet's visit, and sat about ten minutes with him in his library. He had entertained hopes of being admitted to a sight of the young ladies, of whose beauty he had heard much; but he saw only the father. The ladies were somewhat more fortunate, for they had the advantage of ascertaining, from an upper window, that he wore a blue coat and rode a black horse.
An invitation to dinner was soon afterwards dispatched; and already had Mrs. Bennet planned the courses that were to do credit to her housekeeping, when an answer arrived which deferred it all. Mr. Bingley was obliged to be in town the following day, and consequently unable to accept the honour of their invitation, &c. Mrs. Bennet was quite disconcerted. She could not imagine what business he could have in town so soon after his arrival in Hertfordshire; and she began to fear that he might be always flying about from one place to another, and never settled at Netherfield as he ought to be. Lady Lucas quieted her fears a little by starting the idea of his being gone to London only to get a large party for the ball; and a report soon followed that Mr. Bingley was to bring twelve ladies and seven gentlemen with him to the assembly. The girls grieved over such a large number of ladies; but were comforted the day before the ball by hearing that, instead of twelve, he had brought only six with him from London, his five sisters and a cousin. And when the party entered the assembly room, it consisted of only five altogether; Mr. Bingley, his two sisters, the husband of the oldest, and another young man.
Mr. Bingley was good looking and gentlemanlike; he had a pleasant countenance, and easy, unaffected manners. His brother-in-law, Mr. Hurst, merely looked the gentleman; but his friend Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien; and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance, of his having ten thousand a year. The gentlemen pronounced him to be a fine figure of a man, the ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr. Bingley, and he was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of his popularity; for he was discovered to be proud, to be above his company, and above being pleased; and not all his large estate in Derbyshire could then save him from having a most forbidding, disagreeable countenance, and being unworthy to be compared with his friend.
Mr. Bingley had soon made himself acquainted with all the principal people in the room; he was lively and unreserved, danced every dance, was angry that the ball closed so early, and talked of giving one himself at Netherfield. Such amiable qualities must speak for themselves. What a contrast between him and his friend! Mr. Darcy danced only once with Mrs. Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party. His character was decided. He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world, and every body hoped that he would never come there again. Amongst the most violent against him was Mrs. Bennet, whose dislike of his general behaviour was sharpened into particular resentment by his having slighted one of her daughters.
Elizabeth Bennet had been obliged, by the scarcity of gentlemen, to sit down for two dances; and during part of that time, Mr. Darcy had been standing near enough for her to overhear a conversation between him and Mr. Bingley, who came from the dance for a few minutes to press his friend to join it.
``Come, Darcy,'' said he, ``I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.''
``I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this, it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.''
``I would not be so fastidious as you are,'' cried Bingley, ``for a kingdom! Upon my honour I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life, as I have this evening; and there are several of them, you see, uncommonly pretty.''
``You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,'' said Mr. Darcy, looking at the eldest Miss Bennet.
``Oh! she is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you.''
``Which do you mean?'' and turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said, ``She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me.''
Mr. Bingley followed his advice. Mr. Darcy walked off; and Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings towards him. She told the story however with great spirit among her friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in any thing ridiculous.
The evening altogether passed off pleasantly to the whole family. Mrs. Bennet had seen her eldest daughter much admired by the Netherfield party. Mr. Bingley had danced with her twice, and she had been distinguished by his sisters. Jane was as much gratified by this as her mother could be, though in a quieter way. Elizabeth felt Jane's pleasure. Mary had heard herself mentioned to Miss Bingley as the most accomplished girl in the neighbourhood; and Catherine and Lydia had been fortunate enough to be never without partners, which was all that they had yet learnt to care for at a ball. They returned therefore, in good spirits to Longbourn, the village where they lived, and of which they were the principal inhabitants. They found Mr. Bennet still up. With a book, he was regardless of time; and on the present occasion he had a good deal of curiosity as to the event of an evening which had raised such splendid expectations. He had rather hoped that all his wife's views on the stranger would be disappointed; but he soon found that he had a very different story to hear.
``Oh! my dear Mr. Bennet,'' as she entered the room, ``we have had a most delightful evening, a most excellent ball. I wish you had been there. Jane was so admired, nothing could be like it. Every body said how well she looked; and Mr. Bingley thought her quite beautiful, and danced with her twice. Only think of that my dear; he actually danced with her twice; and she was the only creature in the room that he asked a second time. First of all, he asked Miss Lucas. I was so vexed to see him stand up with her; but, however, he did not admire her at all: indeed, nobody can, you know; and he seemed quite struck with Jane as she was going down the dance. So, he enquired who she was, and got introduced, and asked her for the two next. Then, the two third he danced with Miss King, and the two fourth with Maria Lucas, and the two fifth with Jane again, and the two sixth with Lizzy, and the Boulanger --''
``If he had had any compassion for me,'' cried her husband impatiently, ``he would not have danced half so much! For God's sake, say no more of his partners. Oh! that he had sprained his ancle in the first dance!''
``Oh! my dear,'' continued Mrs. Bennet, ``I am quite delighted with him. He is so excessively handsome! and his sisters are charming women. I never in my life saw any thing more elegant than their dresses. I dare say the lace upon Mrs. Hurst's gown --''
Here she was interrupted again. Mr. Bennet protested against any description of finery. She was therefore obliged to seek another branch of the subject, and related, with much bitterness of spirit and some exaggeration, the shocking rudeness of Mr. Darcy.
``But I can assure you,'' she added, ``that Lizzy does not lose much by not suiting his fancy; for he is a most disagreeable, horrid man, not at all worth pleasing. So high and so conceited that there was no enduring him! He walked here, and he walked there, fancying himself so very great! Not handsome enough to dance with! I wish you had been there, my dear, to have given him one of your set downs. I quite detest the man.''
WHEN Jane and Elizabeth were alone, the former, who had been cautious in her praise of Mr. Bingley before, expressed to her sister how very much she admired him.
``He is just what a young man ought to be,'' said she, ``sensible, good humoured, lively; and I never saw such happy manners! -- so much ease, with such perfect good breeding!''
``He is also handsome,'' replied Elizabeth, ``which a young man ought likewise to be, if he possibly can. His character is thereby complete.''
``I was very much flattered by his asking me to dance a second time. I did not expect such a compliment.''
``Did not you? I did for you. But that is one great difference between us. Compliments always take you by surprise, and me never. What could be more natural than his asking you again? He could not help seeing that you were about five times as pretty as every other women in the room. No thanks to his gallantry for that. Well, he certainly is very agreeable, and I give you leave to like him. You have liked many a stupider person.''
``Dear Lizzy!''
``Oh! you are a great deal too apt, you know, to like people in general. You never see a fault in any body. All the world are good and agreeable in your eyes. I never heard you speak ill of a human being in my life.''
``I would wish not to be hasty in censuring any one; but I always speak what I think.''
``I know you do; and it is that which makes the wonder. With your good sense, to be honestly blind to the follies and nonsense of others! Affectation of candour is common enough; -- one meets it every where. But to be candid without ostentation or design -- to take the good of every body's character and make it still better, and say nothing of the bad -- belongs to you alone. And so, you like this man's sisters too, do you? Their manners are not equal to his.''
``Certainly not; at first. But they are very pleasing women when you converse with them. Miss Bingley is to live with her brother and keep his house; and I am much mistaken if we shall not find a very charming neighbour in her.''
Elizabeth listened in silence, but was not convinced. Their behaviour at the assembly had not been calculated to please in general; and with more quickness of observation and less pliancy of temper than her sister, and with a judgment, too, unassailed by any attention to herself, she was very little disposed to approve them. They were in fact very fine ladies, not deficient in good humour when they were pleased, nor in the power of being agreeable where they chose it; but proud and conceited. They were rather handsome, had been educated in one of the first private seminaries in town, had a fortune of twenty thousand pounds, were in the habit of spending more than they ought, and of associating with people of rank; and were therefore in every respect entitled to think well of themselves, and meanly of others. They were of a respectable family in the north of England; a circumstance more deeply impressed on their memories than that their brother's fortune and their own had been acquired by trade.
Mr. Bingley inherited property to the amount of nearly an hundred thousand pounds from his father, who had intended to purchase an estate, but did not live to do it. -- Mr. Bingley intended it likewise, and sometimes made choice of his county; but as he was now provided with a good house and the liberty of a manor, it was doubtful to many of those who best knew the easiness of his temper, whether he might not spend the remainder of his days at Netherfield, and leave the next generation to purchase.
His sisters were very anxious for his having an estate of his own; but though he was now established only as a tenant, Miss Bingley was by no means unwilling to preside at his table, nor was Mrs. Hurst, who had married a man of more fashion than fortune, less disposed to consider his house as her home when it suited her. Mr. Bingley had not been of age two years, when he was tempted by an accidental recommendation to look at Netherfield House. He did look at it and into it for half an hour, was pleased with the situation and the principal rooms, satisfied with what the owner said in its praise, and took it immediately.
Between him and Darcy there was a very steady friendship, in spite of a great opposition of character. -- Bingley was endeared to Darcy by the easiness, openness, ductility of his temper, though no disposition could offer a greater contrast to his own, and though with his own he never appeared dissatisfied. On the strength of Darcy's regard Bingley had the firmest reliance, and of his judgment the highest opinion. In understanding, Darcy was the superior. Bingley was by no means deficient, but Darcy was clever. He was at the same time haughty, reserved, and fastidious, and his manners, though well bred, were not inviting. In that respect his friend had greatly the advantage. Bingley was sure of being liked wherever he appeared; Darcy was continually giving offence.
The manner in which they spoke of the Meryton assembly was sufficiently characteristic. Bingley had never met with pleasanter people or prettier girls in his life; every body had been most kind and attentive to him, there had been no formality, no stiffness; he had soon felt acquainted with all the room; and as to Miss Bennet, he could not conceive an angel more beautiful. Darcy, on the contrary, had seen a collection of people in whom there was little beauty and no fashion, for none of whom he had felt the smallest interest, and from none received either attention or pleasure. Miss Bennet he acknowledged to be pretty, but she smiled too much.
Mrs. Hurst and her sister allowed it to be so -- but still they admired her and liked her, and pronounced her to be a sweet girl, and one whom they should not object to know more of. Miss Bennet was therefore established as a sweet girl, and their brother felt authorised by such commendation to think of her as he chose.
WITHIN a short walk of Longbourn lived a family with whom the Bennets were particularly intimate. Sir William Lucas had been formerly in trade in Meryton, where he had made a tolerable fortune and risen to the honour of knighthood by an address to the King during his mayoralty. The distinction had perhaps been felt too strongly. It had given him a disgust to his business and to his residence in a small market town; and quitting them both, he had removed with his family to a house about a mile from Meryton, denominated from that period Lucas Lodge, where he could think with pleasure of his own importance, and, unshackled by business, occupy himself solely in being civil to all the world. For though elated by his rank, it did not render him supercilious; on the contrary, he was all attention to every body. By nature inoffensive, friendly and obliging, his presentation at St. James's had made him courteous.
Lady Lucas was a very good kind of woman, not too clever to be a valuable neighbour to Mrs. Bennet. -- They had several children. The eldest of them, a sensible, intelligent young woman, about twenty-seven, was Elizabeth's intimate friend.
That the Miss Lucases and the Miss Bennets should meet to talk over a ball was absolutely necessary; and the morning after the assembly brought the former to Longbourn to hear and to communicate.
``You began the evening well, Charlotte,'' said Mrs. Bennet with civil self-command to Miss Lucas. ``You were Mr. Bingley's first choice.''
``Yes; -- but he seemed to like his second better.''
``Oh! -- you mean Jane, I suppose -- because he danced with her twice. To be sure that did seem as if he admired her -- indeed I rather believe he did -- I heard something about it -- but I hardly know what -- something about Mr. Robinson.''
``Perhaps you mean what I overheard between him and Mr. Robinson; did not I mention it to you? Mr. Robinson's asking him how he liked our Meryton assemblies, and whether he did not think there were a great many pretty women in the room, and which he thought the prettiest? and his answering immediately to the last question -- "Oh! the eldest Miss Bennet beyond a doubt, there cannot be two opinions on that point."''
``Upon my word! -- Well, that was very decided indeed -- that does seem as if -- but, however, it may all come to nothing, you know.''
``My overhearings were more to the purpose than yours, Eliza,'' said Charlotte. ``Mr. Darcy is not so well worth listening to as his friend, is he? -- Poor Eliza! -- to be only just tolerable.''
``I beg you would not put it into Lizzy's head to be vexed by his ill-treatment; for he is such a disagreeable man that it would be quite a misfortune to be liked by him. Mrs. Long told me last night that he sat close to her for half an hour without once opening his lips.''
``Are you quite sure, Ma'am? -- is not there a little mistake?'' said Jane. -- ``I certainly saw Mr. Darcy speaking to her.''
``Aye -- because she asked him at last how he liked Netherfield, and he could not help answering her; -- but she said he seemed very angry at being spoke to.''
``Miss Bingley told me,'' said Jane, ``that he never speaks much unless among his intimate acquaintance. With them he is remarkably agreeable.''
``I do not believe a word of it, my dear. If he had been so very agreeable, he would have talked to Mrs. Long. But I can guess how it was; every body says that he is ate up with pride, and I dare say he had heard somehow that Mrs. Long does not keep a carriage, and had come to the ball in a hack chaise.''
``I do not mind his not talking to Mrs. Long,'' said Miss Lucas, ``but I wish he had danced with Eliza.''
``Another time, Lizzy,'' said her mother, ``I would not dance with him, if I were you.''
``I believe, Ma'am, I may safely promise you never to dance with him.''
``His pride,'' said Miss Lucas, ``does not offend me so much as pride often does, because there is an excuse for it. One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune, every thing in his favour, should think highly of himself. If I may so express it, he has a right to be proud.''
``That is very true,'' replied Elizabeth, ``and I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.''
``Pride,'' observed Mary, who piqued herself upon the solidity of her reflections, ``is a very common failing I believe. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed, that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary. Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonimously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.''
``If I were as rich as Mr. Darcy,'' cried a young Lucas who came with his sisters, ``I should not care how proud I was. I would keep a pack of foxhounds, and drink a bottle of wine every day.''
``Then you would drink a great deal more than you ought,'' said Mrs. Bennet; ``and if I were to see you at it, I should take away your bottle directly.''
The boy protested that she should not; she continued to declare that she would, and the argument ended only with the visit.
THE ladies of Longbourn soon waited on those of Netherfield. The visit was returned in due form. Miss Bennet's pleasing manners grew on the good will of Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley; and though the mother was found to be intolerable and the younger sisters not worth speaking to, a wish of being better acquainted with them was expressed towards the two eldest. By Jane this attention was received with the greatest pleasure; but Elizabeth still saw superciliousness in their treatment of every body, hardly excepting even her sister, and could not like them; though their kindness to Jane, such as it was, had a value, as arising in all probability from the influence of their brother's admiration. It was generally evident whenever they met, that he did admire her; and to her it was equally evident that Jane was yielding to the preference which she had begun to entertain for him from the first, and was in a way to be very much in love; but she considered with pleasure that it was not likely to be discovered by the world in general, since Jane united with great strength of feeling a composure of temper and a uniform cheerfulness of manner, which would guard her from the suspicions of the impertinent. She mentioned this to her friend Miss Lucas.
``It may perhaps be pleasant,'' replied Charlotte, ``to be able to impose on the public in such a case; but it is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity of fixing him; and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the world equally in the dark. There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment, that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can all begin freely -- a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better shew more affection than she feels. Bingley likes your sister undoubtedly; but he may never do more than like her, if she does not help him on.''
``But she does help him on, as much as her nature will allow. If I can perceive her regard for him, he must be a simpleton indeed not to discover it too.''
``Remember, Eliza, that he does not know Jane's disposition as you do.''
``But if a woman is partial to a man, and does not endeavour to conceal it, he must find it out.''
``Perhaps he must, if he sees enough of her. But though Bingley and Jane meet tolerably often, it is never for many hours together; and as they always see each other in large mixed parties, it is impossible that every moment should be employed in conversing together. Jane should therefore make the most of every half hour in which she can command his attention. When she is secure of him, there will be leisure for falling in love as much as she chuses.''
``Your plan is a good one,'' replied Elizabeth, ``where nothing is in question but the desire of being well married; and if I were determined to get a rich husband, or any husband, I dare say I should adopt it. But these are not Jane's feelings; she is not acting by design. As yet, she cannot even be certain of the degree of her own regard, nor of its reasonableness. She has known him only a fortnight. She danced four dances with him at Meryton; she saw him one morning at his own house, and has since dined in company with him four times. This is not quite enough to make her understand his character.''
``Not as you represent it. Had she merely dined with him, she might only have discovered whether he had a good appetite; but you must remember that four evenings have been also spent together -- and four evenings may do a great deal.''
``Yes; these four evenings have enabled them to ascertain that they both like Vingt-un better than Commerce; but with respect to any other leading characteristic, I do not imagine that much has been unfolded.''
``Well,'' said Charlotte, ``I wish Jane success with all my heart; and if she were married to him to-morrow, I should think she had as good a chance of happiness as if she were to be studying his character for a twelvemonth. Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other, or ever so similar before-hand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always contrive to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.''
``You make me laugh, Charlotte; but it is not sound. You know it is not sound, and that you would never act in this way yourself.''
Occupied in observing Mr. Bingley's attentions to her sister, Elizabeth was far from suspecting that she was herself becoming an object of some interest in the eyes of his friend. Mr. Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be pretty; he had looked at her without admiration at the ball; and when they next met, he looked at her only to criticise. But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she had hardly a good feature in her face, than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying. Though he had detected with a critical eye more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her form, he was forced to acknowledge her figure to be light and pleasing; and in spite of his asserting that her manners were not those of the fashionable world, he was caught by their easy playfulness. Of this she was perfectly unaware; -- to her he was only the man who made himself agreeable no where, and who had not thought her handsome enough to dance with.
He began to wish to know more of her, and as a step towards conversing with her himself, attended to her conversation with others. His doing so drew her notice. It was at Sir William Lucas's, where a large party were assembled. ``What does Mr. Darcy mean,'' said she to Charlotte, ``by listening to my conversation with Colonel Forster?''
``That is a question which Mr. Darcy only can answer.''
``But if he does it any more, I shall certainly let him know that I see what he is about. He has a very satirical eye, and if I do not begin by being impertinent myself, I shall soon grow afraid of him.''
On his approaching them soon afterwards, though without seeming to have any intention of speaking, Miss Lucas defied her friend to mention such a subject to him, which immediately provoking Elizabeth to do it, she turned to him and said,
``Did not you think, Mr. Darcy, that I expressed myself uncommonly well just now, when I was teazing Colonel Forster to give us a ball at Meryton?''
``With great energy; -- but it is a subject which always makes a lady energetic.''
``You are severe on us.''
``It will be her turn soon to be teazed,'' said Miss Lucas. ``I am going to open the instrument, Eliza, and you know what follows.''
``You are a very strange creature by way of a friend! -- always wanting me to play and sing before any body and every body! -- If my vanity had taken a musical turn, you would have been invaluable, but as it is, I would really rather not sit down before those who must be in the habit of hearing the very best performers.'' On Miss Lucas's persevering, however, she added, ``Very well; if it must be so, it must.'' And gravely glancing at Mr. Darcy, ``There is a fine old saying, which every body here is of course familiar with -- "Keep your breath to cool your porridge," -- and I shall keep mine to swell my song.''
Her performance was pleasing, though by no means capital. After a song or two, and before she could reply to the entreaties of several that she would sing again, she was eagerly succeeded at the instrument by her sister Mary, who having, in consequence of being the only plain one in the family, worked hard for knowledge and accomplishments, was always impatient for display.
Mary had neither genius nor taste; and though vanity had given her application, it had given her likewise a pedantic air and conceited manner, which would have injured a higher degree of excellence than she had reached. Elizabeth, easy and unaffected, had been listened to with much more pleasure, though not playing half so well; and Mary, at the end of a long concerto, was glad to purchase praise and gratitude by Scotch and Irish airs, at the request of her younger sisters, who, with some of the Lucases and two or three officers, joined eagerly in dancing at one end of the room.
Mr. Darcy stood near them in silent indignation at such a mode of passing the evening, to the exclusion of all conversation, and was too much engrossed by his own thoughts to perceive that Sir William Lucas was his neighbour, till Sir William thus began.
``What a charming amusement for young people this is, Mr. Darcy! -- There is nothing like dancing after all. -- I consider it as one of the first refinements of polished societies.''
``Certainly, Sir; -- and it has the advantage also of being in vogue amongst the less polished societies of the world. -- Every savage can dance.''
Sir William only smiled. ``Your friend performs delightfully;'' he continued after a pause, on seeing Bingley join the group; -- ``and I doubt not that you are an adept in the science yourself, Mr. Darcy.''
``You saw me dance at Meryton, I believe, Sir.''
``Yes, indeed, and received no inconsiderable pleasure from the sight. Do you often dance at St. James's?''
``Never, sir.''
``Do you not think it would be a proper compliment to the place?''
``It is a compliment which I never pay to any place, if I can avoid it.''
``You have a house in town, I conclude?''
Mr. Darcy bowed.
``I had once some thoughts of fixing in town myself -- for I am fond of superior society; but I did not feel quite certain that the air of London would agree with Lady Lucas.''
He paused in hopes of an answer; but his companion was not disposed to make any; and Elizabeth at that instant moving towards them, he was struck with the notion of doing a very gallant thing, and called out to her,
``My dear Miss Eliza, why are not you dancing? -- Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. -- You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure, when so much beauty is before you.'' And taking her hand, he would have given it to Mr. Darcy, who, though extremely surprised, was not unwilling to receive it, when she instantly drew back, and said with some discomposure to Sir William,
``Indeed, Sir, I have not the least intention of dancing. -- I entreat you not to suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner.''
Mr. Darcy with grave propriety requested to be allowed the honour of her hand; but in vain. Elizabeth was determined; nor did Sir William at all shake her purpose by his attempt at persuasion.
``You excel so much in the dance, Miss Eliza, that it is cruel to deny me the happiness of seeing you; and though this gentleman dislikes the amusement in general, he can have no objection, I am sure, to oblige us for one half hour.''
``Mr. Darcy is all politeness,'' said Elizabeth, smiling.
``He is indeed -- but considering the inducement, my dear Miss Eliza, we cannot wonder at his complaisance; for who would object to such a partner?''
Elizabeth looked archly, and turned away. Her resistance had not injured her with the gentleman, and he was thinking of her with some complacency, when thus accosted by Miss Bingley.
``I can guess the subject of your reverie.''
``I should imagine not.''
``You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner -- in such society; and indeed I am quite of your opinion. I was never more annoyed! The insipidity and yet the noise; the nothingness and yet the self-importance of all these people! -- What would I give to hear your strictures on them!''
``Your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.''
Miss Bingley immediately fixed her eyes on his face, and desired he would tell her what lady had the credit of inspiring such reflections. Mr. Darcy replied with great intrepidity,
``Miss Elizabeth Bennet.''
``Miss Elizabeth Bennet!'' repeated Miss Bingley. ``I am all astonishment. How long has she been such a favourite? -- and pray when am I to wish you joy?''
``That is exactly the question which I expected you to ask. A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. I knew you would be wishing me joy.''
``Nay, if you are so serious about it, I shall consider the matter as absolutely settled. You will have a charming mother-in-law, indeed, and of course she will be always at Pemberley with you.''
He listened to her with perfect indifference while she chose to entertain herself in this manner, and as his composure convinced her that all was safe, her wit flowed long.
MR. BENNET'S property consisted almost entirely in an estate of two thousand a year, which, unfortunately for his daughters, was entailed, in default of heirs male, on a distant relation; and their mother's fortune, though ample for her situation in life, could but ill supply the deficiency of his. Her father had been an attorney in Meryton, and had left her four thousand pounds.
She had a sister married to a Mr. Phillips, who had been a clerk to their father, and succeeded him in the business, and a brother settled in London in a respectable line of trade.
The village of Longbourn was only one mile from Meryton; a most convenient distance for the young ladies, who were usually tempted thither three or four times a week, to pay their duty to their aunt, and to a milliner's shop just over the way. The two youngest of the family, Catherine and Lydia, were particularly frequent in these attentions; their minds were more vacant than their sisters', and when nothing better offered, a walk to Meryton was necessary to amuse their morning hours and furnish conversation for the evening; and however bare of news the country in general might be, they always contrived to learn some from their aunt. At present, indeed, they were well supplied both with news and happiness by the recent arrival of a militia regiment in the neighbourhood; it was to remain the whole winter, and Meryton was the head quarters.
Their visits to Mrs. Philips were now productive of the most interesting intelligence. Every day added something to their knowledge of the officers' names and connections. Their lodgings were not long a secret, and at length they began to know the officers themselves. Mr. Philips visited them all, and this opened to his nieces a source of felicity unknown before. They could talk of nothing but officers; and Mr. Bingley's large fortune, the mention of which gave animation to their mother, was worthless in their eyes when opposed to the regimentals of an ensign.
After listening one morning to their effusions on this subject, Mr. Bennet coolly observed,
``From all that I can collect by your manner of talking, you must be two of the silliest girls in the country. I have suspected it some time, but I am now convinced.''
Catherine was disconcerted, and made no answer; but Lydia, with perfect indifference, continued to express her admiration of Captain Carter, and her hope of seeing him in the course of the day, as he was going the next morning to London.
``I am astonished, my dear,'' said Mrs. Bennet, ``that you should be so ready to think your own children silly. If I wished to think slightingly of any body's children, it should not be of my own, however.''
``If my children are silly I must hope to be always sensible of it.''
``Yes -- but as it happens, they are all of them very clever.''
``This is the only point, I flatter myself, on which we do not agree. I had hoped that our sentiments coincided in every particular, but I must so far differ from you as to think our two youngest daughters uncommonly foolish.''
``My dear Mr. Bennet, you must not expect such girls to have the sense of their father and mother. -- When they get to our age, I dare say they will not think about officers any more than we do. I remember the time when I liked a red coat myself very well -- and indeed, so I do still at my heart; and if a smart young colonel, with five or six thousand a year, should want one of my girls, I shall not say nay to him; and I thought Colonel Forster looked very becoming the other night at Sir William's in his regimentals.''
``Mama,'' cried Lydia, ``my aunt says that Colonel Forster and Captain Carter do not go so often to Miss Watson's as they did when they first came; she sees them now very often standing in Clarke's library.''
Mrs. Bennet was prevented replying by the entrance of the footman with a note for Miss Bennet; it came from Netherfield, and the servant waited for an answer. Mrs. Bennet's eyes sparkled with pleasure, and she was eagerly calling out, while her daughter read,
``Well, Jane, who is it from? what is it about? what does he say? Well, Jane, make haste and tell us; make haste, my love.''
``It is from Miss Bingley,'' said Jane, and then read it aloud.
``My dear Friend,
IF you are not so compassionate as to dine to-day with Louisa and me, we shall be in danger of hating each other for the rest of our lives, for a whole day's te^te-a`-te^te between two women can never end without a quarrel. Come as soon as you can on the receipt of this. My brother and the gentlemen are to dine with the officers. Yours ever,
CAROLINE BINGLEY.''
``With the officers!'' cried Lydia. ``I wonder my aunt did not tell us of that.''
``Dining out,'' said Mrs. Bennet, ``that is very unlucky.''
``Can I have the carriage?'' said Jane.
``No, my dear, you had better go on horseback, because it seems likely to rain; and then you must stay all night.''
``That would be a good scheme,'' said Elizabeth, ``if you were sure that they would not offer to send her home.''
``Oh! but the gentlemen will have Mr. Bingley's chaise to go to Meryton; and the Hursts have no horses to theirs.''
``I had much rather go in the coach.''
``But, my dear, your father cannot spare the horses, I am sure. They are wanted in the farm, Mr. Bennet, are not they?''
``They are wanted in the farm much oftener than I can get them.''
``But if you have got them to-day,'' said Elizabeth, ``my mother's purpose will be answered.''
She did at last extort from her father an acknowledgment that the horses were engaged. Jane was therefore obliged to go on horseback, and her mother attended her to the door with many cheerful prognostics of a bad day. Her hopes were answered; Jane had not been gone long before it rained hard. Her sisters were uneasy for her, but her mother was delighted. The rain continued the whole evening without intermission; Jane certainly could not come back.
``This was a lucky idea of mine, indeed!'' said Mrs. Bennet, more than once, as if the credit of making it rain were all her own. Till the next morning, however, she was not aware of all the felicity of her contrivance. Breakfast was scarcely over when a servant from Netherfield brought the following note for Elizabeth:
``My dearest Lizzy,
I FIND myself very unwell this morning, which, I suppose, is to be imputed to my getting wet through yesterday. My kind friends will not hear of my returning home till I am better. They insist also on my seeing Mr. Jones -- therefore do not be alarmed if you should hear of his having been to me -- and excepting a sore throat and head-ache, there is not much the matter with me.
Yours, &c.''
``Well, my dear,'' said Mr. Bennet, when Elizabeth had read the note aloud, ``if your daughter should have a dangerous fit of illness, if she should die, it would be a comfort to know that it was all in pursuit of Mr. Bingley, and under your orders.''
``Oh! I am not at all afraid of her dying. People do not die of little trifling colds. She will be taken good care of. As long is she stays there, it is all very well. I would go and see her, if I could have the carriage.''
Elizabeth, feeling really anxious, was determined to go to her, though the carriage was not to be had; and as she was no horse-woman, walking was her only alternative. She declared her resolution.
``How can you be so silly,'' cried her mother, ``as to think of such a thing, in all this dirt! You will not be fit to be seen when you get there.''
``I shall be very fit to see Jane -- which is all I want.''
``Is this a hint to me, Lizzy,'' said her father, ``to send for the horses?''
``No, indeed. I do not wish to avoid the walk. The distance is nothing, when one has a motive; only three miles. I shall be back by dinner.''
``I admire the activity of your benevolence,'' observed Mary, ``but every impulse of feeling should be guided by reason; and, in my opinion, exertion should always be in proportion to what is required.''
``We will go as far as Meryton with you,'' said Catherine and Lydia. -- Elizabeth accepted their company, and the three young ladies set off together.
``If we make haste,'' said Lydia, as they walked along, ``perhaps we may see something of Captain Carter before he goes.''
In Meryton they parted; the two youngest repaired to the lodgings of one of the officers' wives, and Elizabeth continued her walk alone, crossing field after field at a quick pace, jumping over stiles and springing over puddles with impatient activity, and finding herself at last within view of the house, with weary ancles, dirty stockings, and a face glowing with the warmth of exercise.
She was shewn into the breakfast-parlour, where all but Jane were assembled, and where her appearance created a great deal of surprise.
____________
John says to live above hell.
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted March 18, 2007 04:42 PM |
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Quote:
9367 words:
You actually counted them? 
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted March 18, 2007 06:08 PM |
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Well Word probably counted them for him
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted March 18, 2007 09:20 PM |
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Quote:
now you really look like a Peanut exterminator!
Yeah... But it gets kind of hard at times... There was this peanut fellowship that believed that I will disappear when they toss my bowl for peanuts in a volcano... They were so pissed when I got another one...
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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HodgePodge
Adventuring Hero
Bard Extraordinairé
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posted March 19, 2007 07:19 AM |
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Quote:
Quote:
now you really look like a Peanut exterminator!
Yeah... But it gets kind of hard at times... There was this peanut fellowship that believed that I will disappear when they toss my bowl for peanuts in a volcano... They were so pissed when I got another one...
I really love the avatar you chose, Baklava. Not too many people are brave enough to show the world they are a Waspwort. What a magnificent creature. Enough animal creatures already, what Heroes really needs is more creatures from the Plant Kingdom!!! And not just a few … I say we have a whole entire town of Plant aligned creatures.
Let's see there has already been Dendroids & Treants, Waspworts & Venomous Spawns. Let's bring on some deadly Flytraps and Stink Flowers. Maybe a marauding Mandrake Root or some diabolical Daffodils, plenty of gory Greens & blood-sucking Lily Pads. By the way, isn't the Gargantuan a half plant/half animal creature? Looks kinda rather herbaceous to me.
Well okay, so my post isn't 9,367 words long, but who's counting?
I just want more vegetables in my gaming experience. 
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted March 19, 2007 11:45 AM |
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Quote:
Well okay, so my post isn't 9,367 words long, but who's counting?
Me.
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John says to live above hell.
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ADAM
Hero of Order
The RoboMod
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posted April 01, 2007 02:18 AM |
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Thread Moved from Volcanic Wastelands to Bards Glade Pyre (RPG)
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted April 01, 2007 02:20 AM |
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awesome.
let the story continue...
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