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| Thread: The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... | |
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TitaniumAlloy
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Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted April 14, 2007 03:53 PM |
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The details of my life are quite inconsequential....
Very well, where do I begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.
My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possesses and the insane lament...
My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really.
At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicles — there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's quite breathtaking... I suggest you try it.
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John says to live above hell.
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted April 14, 2007 04:00 PM |
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k.
Thanks for the info!
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted April 14, 2007 05:05 PM |
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Did you happen to attend Evil Medical School?
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Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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bixie
Promising
Legendary Hero
my common sense is tingling!
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posted April 14, 2007 05:08 PM |
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cool. TA, one of HC most brilliant minds in HC, is rich enough to afford a scribe.
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Love, Laugh, Learn, Live.
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TitaniumAlloy
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Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted April 15, 2007 03:23 AM |
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Quote:
Did you happen to attend Evil Medical School?
I like to see girls of that... caliber. By "caliber," of course, I refer to both the size of their gun barrels and the high quality of their characters... Two meanings... caliber... it's a homonym... Forget it.
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John says to live above hell.
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted April 15, 2007 11:22 AM |
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Wow, it was your father that invented the question mark  
For all the mishaps and non-exciting things we may live in our childhood it is still a part of us that is hard not to look back in nostalgy with a smile in our face. The standard beating for mischiefs, childhood friends, maybe feelings of loneliness and an adventurous outlook for life...But inconsequential as they may seem they leave their mark and carry some weight in our life even on a subconscious level.
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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pandora
Honorable
Legendary Hero
The Chosen One
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posted April 15, 2007 09:15 PM |
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Wouldn't a meat helmet get kinda stinky in the summertime? 
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"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
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Homer171
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted April 15, 2007 09:27 PM |
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Austin Powers
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted April 16, 2007 10:30 AM |
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The details of my life are also inconsequential.
I was the product of an experiment involving the genes of a nun, a lawyer, and a cauliflower. I was raised in cellar of an asylum, my playmates were the criminally insane. The director was feeding the inmates narcotics so that he could practice his dark cursive arts on the canvas of their skin at night. I escaped when I laced their own food. Ah that was my greatest moment of triumph, when I signed my name in permanent ink on each of their prostrate bodies.
I learned to play the organ in a malicious way when i was 13. I learned to stare a man to death from a group of traveling Azkabian mystics. When I became a man with the chief mystics daughter he tried to stare me to death, instead I distracted him by cracking my knuckles, which have always caused fear in the hearts of men, a effect of the cross-breeding of the lawyer and cauliflower genes.
After I flew with his daughter the mystics tracked me down and bound me in toffee for 3 years, keeping me alive only to taunt me with their yodeling of angst.
I tell you this now because when you view my actions you will have a clearer understanding of the societal milieu from whence I sprang. I asked not to be absolved of my behaviour but only for understanding.
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TitaniumAlloy
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Professional
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posted April 16, 2007 11:28 AM |
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lol..
this line is the best
"My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. "
I laugh everytime I hear it
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John says to live above hell.
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted April 16, 2007 06:58 PM |
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Wow FoG...that's pretty messed up. So what type of traits did the Cauliflower genes give you?
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Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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