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orko
Tavern Dweller
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posted February 26, 2008 10:29 AM |
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Edited by orko at 20:21, 29 Feb 2008.
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ICTC 3: Sky
Facts and traits:
Aka: The winged
Associated colors: white, sunny yellow, Glowing teal, bronzr
worship: Sylath, the dragon of air, their master and creator
Core Philosophy: "We master the skys, and they give us refuge", air is the most important thing in life
Contry/kingdom: Elav, a permanent cloud above Ashan
Cpital city: Tumer( basically the capital of the largest kingdom)
Key symbols: A sun, the wind rose
Alignment: good
Symbol:
[URL=http://img444.imageshack.us/my.php?image=1476792049126hugexa5.jpg][/URL]
History:
Created by Sylath as secret and peaceful nation so that his people will not be involved in wars. The winged society is highly functioned and controled by the belief of Sylath, since they believe he created them from pure goodness, and not from a will of power. Throught their existence the Winged knew only one war: The Crusade of the Anti-Christ. This war was conducted by a Sylath non-believer to create hagemony. The so called "Winged anti-christ" was propheced to return for more time later. The Winged are basically not involed in matters at Ashan, and only have things to do with the wizards, since their towns are floating as wel, but they couldn't stand still when Nacromancers have reached their realm, that was divided in to 3 kingdoms.
In 1032 YSD, a wizard that turned into the side of nacromancy, have told the nacromancers about the winged, and the Nacromancers had found a way to get to get into Elav. and now, the nacromancers had join forces with the strongest of the three kingdoms to conquer the heavenly realm. Erael, A leader of another kingdom and Pana, the queen of another one, joined their own forces in a coalition against the Nacromancers. The coalition will have to prevail against the main attack of the undead if they wish to remain free, indipendent and alive...
A map of Elav:
[URL=http://img339.imageshack.us/my.php?image=elav3hy6.png][/URL]
units:
Tier 1: Commoner---> Recruit, militia
activated ability: none
Commoner description:
Commoners are recruited only during times when it is needed. They don't have good weapons as well. The commoners are beeing laughed at by most of the winged people. They have so short wings that they can't even fly with!
Recruit description:
One way for commoners to improve their social stat, is to join the army. Now, with their office as keepers, no one will dare to laugh at them, because they have more power.
militia description:
Some commoners stay permanently in the army. They get salaries and better weapons. They are more respected, and hopefully not laughed by the rest of their comrads.
tier 2: watcher---> guardian, wandering watcher
activated ability: none
Watcher description:
The watchers have an easy job: to warn from attacks. while they are more defensive and untrained" they can be used perfectally in the front line.
Guardian description:
With a job they consider as boring but not too tiring, the guardians of the winged are used to defaned their towns. While they try to pass the time quickly as possible while not fighting, they might seem lazy, but they are actually very good warriors.
Wandering Watcher description:
with a slightly harder job as patroling the walls or passing from one guard tower to another for checking, these creatures have developed more easy going and fast legs. They are well armed but they are much more faster.
tier 3: winged warriors---> winged kinghts, winged guards
Activated ability: none
Winged warrior description:
More patriotic and well trained creatures than the others, Whese warriors are extremely necassery in the army. As defendars or attackers, these creature are very well appriciated among their communities.
Winged Knights description:
Trained in special war academies so they will fight better, their commanders allways take care that they have anything they need, since they are very well appreciated and admired creatures.
winged guard description:
These creatures serve as guards of the most important men in town. They are well payed and well armed, because their employer's lives are in their hands..s
tier 4: winged messanger---> divine messanger, Winged embassedor
activated ability: Convincing(30% precent that an enemy creature will join your army during battle)
Semi-flyer(can fly anywher in battlefield for three turns)
winged messanger description:
Communicators between the kingdoms of the winged, these creatures are trained very well in special classes to avoid any missleading diplomatic happening. They are not armed well, because there is no need for it, but they are smart and sufisticated.
divine messanger description:
Not only that they passed special classes, they are also trained in Sylath's knowledge as well. They have the blessing of the air dragon, and due to this, they are more lucky and willing to fight.
Winged embassador:
Not every messanger is able to become an embassador. only the most cunning and convincing ones. Being an embassador is not very easy, but atleast there are much lower chances to be killed by a foreign angry king...
tier 5: Sylath Priests---> Sylath cardinals, Sylath fanatics
Activated ability: random blessing
shooter
Sylath priests:
Functioning as a very intellectual and helpfull body among the winged society. Before and during battle they bless other creatures with the blessings of Sylath, so that the dragon's loyalists will win victories for him.
Sylath cardinals description:
The cardinals have a larger stat than the priests'.
They are members of a council that conducts the affairs of Sylath and disscuses about religion. They are very moderate and mostly respected. because of these features, they don't simply attack their enemies, but they stay calm and will not show any weakness.
Sylath fanatics description:
These creatures will kill anyone that opposes their fathe of Sylath and are willing to kill entire communities of innocent people because they don't worship Sylath. These creature have hig moral in battles due to this, and they simply charge straight twords their enemy.
tier 6: Pegasus---> pegasus charioteers , armored pegasus
activated ability: none
flyer
Pegasus description:
Sylath didn't just gave wings to men, but to animals as well. When he gave horses wings, a creature called pegasus was formed. It is strong as all horses, but also has the ability to fly.
Pegasus charioteer description:
The charioteers were created when a soldier stood over a box, and suddenly, a pegasus that fled from his owners had tied accidently to a rope and the rope grabed the box. the box turned around and the soldier managed to be steady over the turned box, grabed it's edges and started riding! This gave army commanders the idea of riding fast over pegasii and fight simultaniously.
Armored pegasus description:
These are a breed of highly disciplined war pegasii that are armored and have a rider. due to this they have some penalties but have very large defense and offence.
tier 7: Thunderbird---> Lightning bird, Storm bird
activated ability: Call lightning
flyer, shooter
Thunderbird description:
The thunderbirds were formed when Birds were hit by a lightning and since then they make a noise of a thunder. These creatures seem to have intelligence since they aseemingly know about Sylath.
Lightning bird description:
When thunder birds were created by lightnings that hited birds, greater and stronger lightnings hited other birds and created lightning birds. The lightning birds are stronger, and anyone who tries to touch them will electrify.
Storm birds:
These birds travel across storms and generate their own power from the power of the storms. The birds are highly strong and because they are used to the rain in the storms, water can't hurt them.
Racial: Hopper
Allows you to Hopp over land obstacles for a certain amount of days
basic hopper/advanced hopper/expert hopper/ultimate hopper
hopp for 3 days a month/hopp for 5 days a month/hopp for 7 days a month/ hopp for 9 days a month.
in case you ran out of hopping days your hero will automatically go to the closest place without obstacles.
Dwellings and buildings:
tier one: Enlisting ground---> enlisting office
tier two: Watchtower---> guard tower
Tier Three: Flying barracks---> flying war academy
Tier Four: Messengares quarter---> embassy
Tier five: Sylath shrine---> Sylath temple
tier six: Floating stables---> sky stables
tier seven: Thunder nest---> storm nest
special buildings:
Sylath's altar-increases tier five creature growth by +2 per week
overseeing positions- increases tier 2 growth by +8 per week
Floating staircase- supports Hopper racial ability
hero class-Sky Master
Town look:
It is located in the sky. There are a lot of clouds around it. in the middle there is a large structure made out of stairs and it's color is like bronze. The structure is in that shpae:
___
/ \
(  
\___/
something like that. I didn't mean for the smiley BTW.
in the upper edge the city hall is located. There is a huge street in the middle, dividing the town into to. in it's middle there is a square where the marketplace is located. The fortifications are found in the edges of the town.
Campaign:
The Winged
mission 1:
Last stand-Erael and Pana must prevail and hold the nacromancers attack.
mission 2:
Treachery- Erael's assistant betrays him. The assistant pursues him to defeat Erael. Erael must raise an army and encounter the enemy outside of his capital.
mission 3:
civil war- Due to the treacherous assistant that betrayed Ereal, Many join the nacromancers. Erael must defeat them.
mission 4:
Survival- Erael and Pana are sorrounded by enemies. They must defeat all of the six armies opposing them, and with the help of the wizards, to defeat the prince of the kingdom which allied with the nacromancers.
mission 5:
The final battle- Ereal and Pana gather their troops to defeat the main army of the nacromancers which will fight the final battle to decide who will win the war.
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Drunk_Lord
Known Hero
very happy hero :)
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posted February 27, 2008 03:52 PM |
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a bit more info\pics ?
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orko
Tavern Dweller
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posted February 27, 2008 04:26 PM |
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OK. I will for some.
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Snatch
Promising
Known Hero
Proud Kappa
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posted February 27, 2008 05:54 PM |
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This needs a good balancing. Almost all of them are flyers.
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Drunk_Lord
Known Hero
very happy hero :)
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posted February 27, 2008 06:13 PM |
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hmm, what about to remove flyer ability from 3 creatures atleast and add some ability that allows them to fly to any place once per combat?
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orko
Tavern Dweller
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posted February 27, 2008 06:24 PM |
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Edited by orko at 18:28, 27 Feb 2008.
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Well... That makes more sence! I shall do that!
BTW The six creatures are flyers is a mistake. I fixed it now.
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Drunk_Lord
Known Hero
very happy hero :)
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posted February 28, 2008 01:44 PM |
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U'r making progress
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orko
Tavern Dweller
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posted February 28, 2008 09:12 PM |
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Snatch
Promising
Known Hero
Proud Kappa
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posted March 28, 2008 10:41 PM |
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Cohesiveness: 9/10 (a cloud above Ashan with a peaceful race living on it doesn't interfere anything, sure it is cohesive, creatures and racial fit aswell)
Imagination: 8/15 (you are solid in building up a theme, but creative creatures and creature abilities are lacking)
Back story: 5/10 (brief history with logical conflicts, the anti-christ-thing is a bit absurd, how can there be an anti-christ when no christ exists?)
Battle facets: 6/10 (creature line-up is solid at best, but there is almost no variety or interesting abilities, to have an adventure map racial rather than a battle racial is a nice variety)
Discretionary: 0/5 (the theme is good, but it could be more made of it, much more)
28/50
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Momo
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted March 29, 2008 12:11 PM |
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Cohesiveness: 10/10 points while it falls on the trap of being so cohesive that it's actually unoriginal, there's still no problem here.
Imagination: 8/15 points winged people, good guys, period. It's not enough, sorry. From Escaflowne to Legend Of Dragooon, there have been zounds of re-interpretations of the "winged guys" theme, which is evoking and rich. A much, MUCH better job could have been done here, especially since you should have prioritized differentiating your faction from "Tower" and "Planars".
Back story: 5/10 points kinda doubles the explanation for the "imagination" mark. A lot more developement could have been there.
Battle facets: 7/10 points while uninteresting in the creature lineup, there's an interesting racial and at least there's not the love for brokeness displayed in other factions. However, keeping something balanced it's easy when you put no work in making that something interesting.
Discretionary: 3/5 points loved the idea of a non-battle related racial, but I can't really say anything else about this. It's an average quality work that doesn't strike as innovative or expanded in most its respects.
Overall Score: 33/50
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Tobius
Adventuring Hero
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posted March 31, 2008 08:52 PM |
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Sky
Cohesiveness(4+1)=5 Flying people need more description than you've given to fit into HoMM
Imagination(3+1+3)=7 Interesting approach, but the execution is not that original
Back Story(3+1)=4 Standard story (bad necromancers), but it tries to expand on the universe
Battle Facets(2+1)=3 No inventive abilities, almost all creatures are shooters
Discretionary: nothing exceptional here (campaign is just rudimentarily)
Total Score=19
How I graded these:
Cohesiveness (Internal Coherence [1-5]+HoMM Compatibility [1-5])
Imagination (Creativity [1-5]+Innovations [1-5]+Originality[1-5])
Back Story (How well it expands on one of the HoMM universes [1-5]+How interesting it was to me [1-5])
Battle Facets (Variety [1-5]+Inventive Aspects [1-5])
Discretionary (Bonus for exceptional efforts[1-5])
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friendofgunnar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
able to speed up time
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posted April 12, 2008 06:56 AM |
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Sky:
FriendofGunnar
cohesiveness 10/10
originality 10/15
backstory 5/10
battle facets 5/10
discretionary 1/5
31
Kookastar
Cohesiveness: 9 points
Imagination/creativity/originality/wow factor: 8 points
Back story: 3 points
Battle facets: 3 points
Discretionary: 3 points - Just a hint for when you're making something creative like this; It's good to break your ideas by putting spaces / blank lines in. Including pictures is always a good idea too. It looks like you gave up on this one early, that's too bad.
Total 26
TDL
Cohesiveness(max 10) : 6
Creativity (max 10): 7
Backstory (max 10): 6
Battle Facets (max 15): 9
additional (max 5): 1
terrible posting style and extremely user-unfriendly… faction seems too plain, a reproduction of haven under a different point
Total (max 50):29
Guest Judge's Score : 26.67 (Judges grades are weighed differently depending on how many factions they graded)
Judges Score: (31 + 26 + 29) / 3 = 28.67
Final Score: 27.67
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