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| Thread: ICTC 3: The Rift |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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Cepheus
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Far-flung Keeper
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posted March 07, 2008 01:44 PM |
bonus applied by kookastar on 30 Apr 2008. |
Edited by Cepheus at 22:58, 24 Mar 2008.
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ICTC 3: The Rift
NOTE: A problem I've come across when making this faction is that it's very difficult to create a concept for a game which hasn't come out yet. No-brainer. So please don't thrash me because I haven't gone into too much detail regarding gameplay - I've tried to base things on Heroes V where possible, but otherwise the whole thing is lore and basic descriptions all the way!
"Battled on all levels of reality, the ancient war between the Primordial Dragons, Asha and Urgash, concluded with a terrible surge of power which shattered the bonds between the triad planes of existence. However, this world-breach was but one of the cataclysms Ashan would face in its time. 'Twas not the only rift to come into play in the millennia ahead..."
Motto:
“Divided we conquer. United we prosper.”
Facts and Traits:
Also Known As: The Outcasts, the Shifters, the Mistweavers, the Outsiders
Associated Colours: Indigo, Teal and Azure Blue
Worship: The Consciousness Beyond, a world-entity of the Netherworld composed of the thoughts and dreams of endless, countless souls.
Core Philosophy: “Strive towards Truth and Revelation". Remain united in strife and in war. Earn the gifts of the Consciousness through instinct, nobility and ferality rather than calculated cunning.
Country/Kingdom: Ká-Tevarx, a land within the Netherworld (also known as the Beginning Dimension or Ethereal Plane)
Capital City: Mistral, Citadel of the Thunderous Void
Key Symbols: The Symbol of Revelation, the Insignia of Truth
Primary Spell Schools: Dark Magic, Summoning Magic
 
The Symbol of Revelation and the Insignia of Truth: commonly found upon Ashan's Crystals of Revelation
History:
Outcasts from a realm no longer our own, Shifters from the Netherworld unseen. We are Outsiders, and our agonies throughout these lengthy centuries, these broad millenia, these ages and world-spans which will forever elude your mortal experiences... they run parallel to none - none know our suffering. For we are the Children of the Void - we are the sons and daughters of its creator, the Consciousness Beyond, comprised of our hopes and dreams manifest. And this unknowable deity, our deity, bequeaths upon us vast wonders and temporal grace which cleanse our wounds from the Days Before Our Dawn.
But those wounds, though cleansed, shall never heal.
THE FATE OF TIME'S MISTS
"Under the fey allure
of a lost indigo sky
Our forebears gazed beyond
Toward the Astral Orb of Light."
"Perplexing hues it claimed.
Of dark jade in its birth
to progress into teal
and azure as time beckoned."
--------------
"And these patterns we did mimic
Though Children of the Void we stood
And as Children would remain."
"As days progressed, disturbance rose.
The Consciousness did speak to us
We listened with intent."
--------------
"And outside the borders
of our world beset
with phantom souls
Our sight began to clear.
"We looked upon the bounty
Of Ashan and all her glory
This we coveted with scorn."
--------------
"And our purity was tainted
Though Children of the Void we stood
And as Children would remain."
"As days progressed, disturbance rose.
The Consciousness did speak to us
We listened with intent."
--------------
"But a revelation cleansed our minds
Strangers were we to this place
With Ashan
Our Origin."
"Though our power it did dwindle
The Consciousness encouraged us -
Beware of Those Unseen."
--------------
"And Ashan became our battleground
Though Children of the Void we stood
And as Children would remain."
"As days progressed, disturbance rose.
The Consciousness did speak to us
We listened with intent."
OF THE DAYS BEFORE OUR DAWN
In appearance we are easily recognised. Our skin tones are of a pale, brightish teal hue, our attire purplish, grey and yellow - though not so as to look foolish, rather to generate the image of true, mystically-adept Mistweavers, a people who hail and revere the Consciousness and the twinned forces of the Void's depths - the mild, ever-rising tide of Mist, and the iniquitous, shrouding blanket of Fog. These dual beliefs strengthen our kind and give rise to the sustenance which has allowed our race to endure in this alien landscape.
The Fate of Time's Mists, included in our histories, can provide an insightful account into the machinations of our dawn. This tale speaks of the Astral Orb of Light, a faded, blurry celestial sphere which hangs high above the vast space of this ethereal world. In full measure, we have
But of the Days Before Our Dawn, these were times few of us can now recall. One of our eldest, the Shifter, Vé Echmos, has been graceful enough to grant us an account of these Days, remembered from the words of the first Outcasts:
"Before the name "Outcasts" was ever applied to their race, they lived upon the land of Ashan, a world within the Physical Plane, also regarded as the "Material World". That was the period of time known now to the mortals as the "Ancient Age". So long ago was this Age that many of them are not convinced that it ever happened. Self-denial, fortunately, is not a trait we Shifters and Outcasts are commonly known to possess. The olden World, Ashan, was at that time young indeed. We do not know how exactly the Physical Plane came to be. Some of us have theorised that it has always been there, but that of course is false. Fundamental Shifter histories have been excruciating in pointing out that but two Planes have endured since the dawn of time: The Netherworld, or the Wellspring of Creation, and the Demonworld, or the Land of the Malevolent.
Now, we have been able to gather accounts from Ashan's current inhabitants relating to the "Mythic Age". The old tale goes that a Cosmic Egg was formed out of the nothingness before this Plane's birth. Preposterous! But I am not inclined to pass comment on the minds of mortals, and so I shall continue. This Egg gave birth to two Dragons, one a representative of the Netherworld - Asha - and one of the Demonworld - Urgash. Asha and Urgash, like Shifters and Demons, did not get along all that well. It is said that Asha, the "Dragon of Order", gave form to six smaller Dragons, each of whom represented properties of both the twin Planes. As she did not favour the Demonworld, only Arkath and Sylanna, of Fire and Earth, were created to honour its elements. Sylath, Elrath and Shalassa, of Air, Light and Water, represented the Netherworld.
Alas, all great conflicts must begin with a single strike, and in this case it came with the Dragons' creation of Ashan and the Mortal Races. Urgash did not participate, instead choosing the path of least resistance and drawing the Demons out of their Plane into this new one. The mortals believe he created them of his own accord, failing to note the paradox between the sloth of Demons and this alleged "high workmanship" of their creator. Naturally, sloppy workers forge sloppy work. And this did not bode well for the malicious Urgash, Dragon of Chaos. One would think the Demons, honed from an eternity of life, would pose a threat. But of course not! Asha confronted Urgash, the Mortal Races confronted the Demons, and Urgash found himself sealed within Ashan's core. A fitting demise - for now, at least.
The Demons found themselves slowly weaker and weaker due to seperation from Urgash's energies. Thusly, they began to fade and eventually slipped back into the Land of the Malevolent, or "Sheogh" as it came to be known. Due to a mighty physical paradox brought on by Urgash's imprisonment, the Demonworld now found itself intertwined with the Physical Plane. Ashan's core was the Demonworld! How ironic, that the actions of Asha had essentially doomed her own creations. And, weakened by her battle, she departed to seal herself within one of the world's moons to rest and heal. This signalled the dawn of the Outcast race.
Asha had created countless races as a product of the essence from the Netherworld and the Demonworld. Of the five Elemental Dragons she formed, however, another was destined - but did not find form. This element was representative of the Void itself, and though it did not become manifest, it did give birth to another Race. These Children of the Void were to be known as Mistweavers, disciples of the two aspects of the Void - the birthing, mystical force of Mist and the decaying, binding force of Fog. Teal skin and mildly glowing eyes were their defining feature. The rest is history."
REVELATION'S CALLING
Our early days within Ashan were uneasy. The War of the Primordial Twins, monstrously exacting in its price for our race and all others, led hundreds and thousands of our people to the Oblivions beyond. Death... turmoil... as with all wars, nothing positive, nothing worth fighting for came out of this conflict. Details of this period are famously sketchy, not remembered by many of our race, but we know that the end came with Asha's imprisonment of Urgash, her demonspawned brother of origin within the Cosmic Egg.
A great surge of foul energy took the world at that moment. Asha had not only deigned to imprison the Demons' leader - she had chosen to seal their entire race and the Plane of existence they dwelt within - now named as Sheogh - into the core of Ashan's earth! Such a feat of vast daring and risk had consequences, of course. The surge brought about a breach in the third world-realm, the Ethereal Plane, permitting the Consciousness Beyond to seep into our society... slowly, but surely.
OF THE CONSCIOUSNESS
The Fate of Time's Mists is told from the perception of the Shifters: they alone are those who have seen the lost indigo skies of the Netherworld, the Astral Orb of Light their skyborne lantern guiding them towards the teachings of the Consciousness. Originally, though, the Mistweavers were not aware of the presence of the Consciousness, only discovering this entity when called through the Tevarx Passage by the Willforce of the Void nearing the close of the Elder Wars. As the products of the Void's elemental force, the Mistweavers naturally adapted to the role to this unseen "Consciousness", educated by the Shifters.
The Consciousness itself is an enigma. It certainly exists, that is for sure; there is indisputable evidence of a presence profoundly urging on and encouraging the Outsiders in their actions. Speculation would suggest that it is the residual essence of the eighth Elemental Dragon, the Void-Spirit unmanifested upon its birth through Ashan: the Consciousness has often been depicted as such, a magnificent, sleek black-indigo wyrm with many heads to signify its multiple natures as a world-entity. Another depiction of this deity includes that of a writhing mass of shadows assuming a tangible form, symbolic of the Outsiders' belief in Mist and Fog as significant cosmic presences.
TIMELINE
Before the Breaches
Mythic Age
Early Shifter civilisation and culture within the Ethereal Plane. More is revealed of these times in the Shifters' cultural background, detailed further below.
Breach Alpha
End of Mythic Age
The war between the Elemental Dragons and the Primordial Dragons concludes with the imprisonment of the Dragon of Chaos, Urgash, in the Demonworld. To ensure this, Asha and the Elemental Dragons draw upon the energies of the Netherworld, driving forth a terrible surge of otherworldly power to seal the Demonworld itself as a pocket plane within the "core" of Ashan's earth, later to be known as Sheogh. Breach Alpha is the result of this surge: the Netherworld's energies create a permanent link between the Ethereal and Physical Planes.
This breach permits the "Consciousness" in the Netherworld to reach out to the early Mistweavers - while it cannot speak to them without exerting enormous energies, it can easily influence their actions to a small extent - and does so.
Loremasters
Unknown - Ancient Age
The Mistweavers develop into an independent, sentient society. Early orders and sects are founded. Ruling above all of these other sects is the esteemed guild of the Loremasters, formed from the ranks of intelligent and creative Mistweavers. The Loremasters travel Ashan, crafting Crystals of Revelation marked with their symbols throughout the land to signify their territories and presence. The Crystals are designed to house their formidable knowledge: their purpose is to gather and record all lore within the world, for good or for evil regardless.
The Elder Wars
Unknown - Ancient Age
The Angels declare a devastating crusade on the mysterious Faceless. Early Elven and Mistweaver kingdoms and settlements are destroyed, scattering both races to the winds. While the Elves recover and thrive, the Mistweavers do not. The last remnants of their race, led by the Loremasters, seek out a place to live and hide in isolation from the conflicts in Ashan, hoping to discover another path of Revelation.
Through the Void
Unknown - Ancient Age
Guided by their Loremasters, the surviving Mistweavers settle in the tunnels later to become the Dark Elven realm of Ygg-Chall. Over the next decade, having studied the tunnels in isolation, they come upon the inactive exit to a dimensional portal assumedly leading to the location of the Void's spirit. Throughout the following years, the Loremasters experiment upon the portal exit, and finally reactivate it, passing through...
The world beyond is azure blue in colour, and shrouded in mist and fog. The Mistweavers never look back: they have found their homeland, the resting place of the Void itself. Over time, they come into contact with the Shifters, a fellow Void-worshipping race, and form an eternal bond. The portal they have passed through is left dormant for over a millennium.
Those who have heard of and seen the Mistweavers become convinced that they have been banished out of Ashan by the will of Urgash - which is quite untrue.
A very, very, very poorly drawn map of the Varsterrom region - note the ley lines emanating from Mistral. The area in which some maps of the Tales of Karador mod will take place lies north of the Empire
First Encounters
Unknown - Ancient Age
The Mistweavers - now named "Outcasts" - and the Shifters, now banded together in a strong alliance, establish Rifts further north, encroaching on the borders of the Eidolon territories. Eidolons from the northern Nexus settlements within the Wellspring's Zenith attack the Outsiders in response, and Planeswalkers begin to rout the Ká-Tevarx armies. However, Ká-Tevarx shatters the invaders with the full force of the Loremasters, leaving the south undefended. This brings a swift end to the first war against the Eidolons of the Ethereal Plane, of which there shall be many.
Of the Thunderous Void
Unknown - Ancient Age
A tempest of gargantuan proportions takes over the Ethereal Plane, raining down mana from the Void above. This is a result of the breaking of some of the ley lines which hold and channel mana throughout the Plane, though the perpetrators of this destruction are unknown for now.
Ithuriel, leader of the Loremasters, becomes corrupted by the energies of the Void - as do many of his people. He amasses a legion of dark Outcasts and Eidolons, and declares war on the Shifters. Bitter conflicts ensue in which the unaffected Mistweavers and Shifters survive - Ithuriel, the dark Outcasts and the invading Eidolons are not so lucky.
Revelation of the Seventh Dragon
0 Y.S.D.
The Consciousness penetrates the Physical Plane a second time and speaks to Sar-Elam, a mortal later to become the first Wizard. In order to allow easy familiarity, the Consciousness addresses itself as "the conscience of Order" - mortals later misunderstand this to signify Asha herself - the Dragon of Order - rather than an otherworldly entity seeking to bring about Order.
In any case, the Consciousness enlightens Sar-Elam on the nature of matter and spirit, showing him a higher path of power to wielding the forces of the ether. 28 years later, it speaks to him once again.
Mistral's Foundation
11 Y.S.D.
The Thunderous Void above the Netherworld's confines continues to rage incessantly with the breaking of the ley lines. To combat this, the Outcasts and Shifters band together and create a floating citadel named "Mistral". Piloting Mistral, the Outcasts travel to the rim of the Netherworld's atmosphere and begin creating unseen, mystical barriers attuned to their own mortal magic. The barriers shield the Netherworld from the Thunderous Void rent open by Ithuriel, thus protecting Ashan's Ethereal Plane from annihilation.
Mistral itself is later proclaimed the capital of Ká-Tevarx.
Wars of Fire
28-40 Y.S.D. - Origins
The Consciousness penetrates the Physical Plane a third time, exerting great dimensional energies in doing so. It speaks to Sar-Elam once again, this time ordering him to craft three otherworldly Seals of massive power capable of preventing the bridging of a gap between both the Physical and Ethereal Planes. These three are crafted: the Seal of Life in the Falcon Empire, the Seal of Death in the land to be named Heresh, and the Seal of Shadows in the future Ygg-Chall regions.
With the three Seals crafted and their three keys cast upon the winds of Fate, the Consciousness orders Sar-Elam to perform a ritual capable of casting a great shield around Sheogh, the Demonworld. Such a ritual requires a sacrifice - that of Sar-Elam's life - but the first Wizard bravely accepts the sacrifice to seal away the Demons for hundreds of years to come.
The Blind Brothers
62 Y.S.D. - Origins
Taking on the name of Asha, the Consciousness manages to penetrate the Physical Plane one final time and "enlists" new servitors. This time, it speaks to Sar-Antor, one of the seven disciples of the Wizard Sar-Elam. The Consciousness proclaims Sar-Antor its first mortal servant, of which there shall be many. As if in response to this message, disciples flock to Sar-Antor henceforth, and he founds the Blind Brothers - a congregation of healers, seers and embalmers dedicated to the worship of "Asha".
The Consciousness intends for the Blind Brothers to warn of impending breaches in the Physical and Ethereal Planes. As it cannot gaze into the Physical Plane and detect the mortals' movements as easily as normal, it requires human disciples to predict these events.
The Year of the Serpus
163 Y.S.D. - Origins
Loremasters begin to comprehend the concept of Ancient Ones. Ancient Ones are beings originally created by the Dragon Gods upon the formation of the Physical Plane, sealed within the Netherworld following a great transgression from one of their number, the legendary "Celestial Dragon" now at rest within the Wellspring's Zenith. The Shifters are "higher Ancient Ones", having dwelt within the Netherworld even before the Dragon Gods' birth, whereas creatures such as the Eidolons and Outcasts are not Ancient, having been born of magics from other realms. This explains the reason behind the fact that they were strongly affected by the magics of the Thunderous Void, while the Shifters were not.
Thus, the Loremasters strive to attain the allegiance of the Ancient Ones to bolster their military might. They forge an alliance with the Serpus - these creatures are sentient serpents with an insatiable thirst for mana. Serpus begin to appear in the ranks of the Outsider patrols.
Narumbris' Invasion
204 Y.S.D. - Origins
The Varsterrom Empire in the northern reaches of the Wellspring of Creation, ruled by Narumbris the Shadow Weaver, decides to attack and conquer regions within Ká-Tevarx's boundaries. Seemingly in search of expansion, it turns out that Narumbris seeks to control the barriers in Mistral protecting the Plane from the Thunderous Void. He seeks to harness their energy - imbued with the Outcasts' essence - thus attaining the ability to dominate and control their entire race to serve his own purposes.
Narumbris himself leads the attack on Mistral, conquering the Citadel of the Thunderous Void and even dispelling the world-shields above its confines, breaching the barriers created by the Dragon Gods upon the Wellspring's reinforcement with the banishment of the Ancient Ones. The Shadow Weaver achieves total dominance over the Eidolon race attuned to the barriers, and almost manages to dominate the Outcasts: however, the majority of their numbers are protected by the will of the Shifters, who as Ancient Ones are immune to the barriers' influence and the mortal magic it subsides itself with.
Defeat of Narumbris
226 Y.S.D. - Origins
The rebellious Shifters rally the Ancient Ones throughout the Ethereal Plane, leading into a direct confrontation with the few shadow-darkened Outcasts and Narumbris' dual Nexus / Abyss armies. The Ancient Ones are not numerous, but are far mightier than Narumbris' minions, and the Shifters swiftly take back what is theirs, pushing further back into Mistral. Narumbris has already fled the scene before the Shifters reach the world-shields, but over a period of three years they do manage to break the back of the Varsterrom Empire in the north with the aid of their new allies. Narumbris disappears from memory and is not seen again for centuries.
Breach Beta
330 Y.S.D. - Origins
A total lunar eclipse in Ashan provokes Asha's power to flood the Physical Plane, unseen. Sheogh is wrought by a massive rupture, and the barriers between the Physical and Ethereal Plane are cracked and worn away a second time. The Seals of Sar-Issus, however, prevent the breach from shattering the barriers.
Night of the Glimmering Shard
465 Y.S.D. - Origins
A mysterious Eidolon Planeswalker from the north under the name Naalregal presents an Outcast leader, Valprus, with a pristine shard of crystal the like of which has never been seen in any world, known or unknown. Naalregal's motives are not known, as is normally the case in these situations, but the "Glimmering Shard" is instilled in a staff of finest Glimmerglass, henceforth to be held by the head of the Loremaster society.
Glories and Turmoils
551 Y.S.D. - Origins
The Consciousness compels the Outcasts and the Shifters within Mistral to unleash a small portion of the Thunderous Void's magics. In doing so, large bands of Nexus inhabitants from Varsterrom and the Wellspring's Zenith due north are attracted southward and begin to wreak havoc in Ká-Tevarx, destroying instrumental Rift settlements.
The Loremasters are quick to act, scouring the spirits from their lands, and deploying Yestertides to watch over the borders. The released energies from the Thunderous Void begin to amplify the Consciousness' hold on the foreign Planes, which will become necessary in thirteen years.
Breach Delta
564 Y.S.D. - Origins
A second total lunar eclipse. This time the Blind Brothers had predicted it and channeled word through the ether to "Asha" (that is, the Consciousness in her guise). The Consciousness, its power amplified through the machinations of the Outcasts and the Shifters, forces Void-energies between the three Planes to prevent the inhabitants of each from passing into the realms of others. No world-breach takes place in the Ethereal Plane, and the inhabitants of the Physical Plane quickly repel the invading Demons.
Alladara's Prophecy
589 Y.S.D. - Origins
One of the Planeswalkers from the Wellspring's Zenith, a Planar Sorceress named Alladara, travels to Mistral and warns the Outcasts of Narumbris' return, and the impending rise of the Varsterrom Empire. This compels the Outcasts to reinforce the Yestertide garrisons due north - Narumbris' coming in 595 Y.S.D. will be detailed in the Tales of Karador mod.
Breach Gamma
717 Y.S.D. - Origins
A second total lunar eclipse. This time the Blind Brothers had predicted it and channeled word through the ether to "Asha" (that is, the Consciousness in her guise). The Consciousness, its power amplified through the machinations of the Outcasts and the Shifters, forces Void-energies between the three Planes to prevent the inhabitants of each from passing into the realms of others. No world-breach takes place in the Ethereal Plane, and the inhabitants of the Physical Plane quickly repel the invading Demons.
Breach Delta - The Eternal Rift
843 Y.S.D. - Modern Age
A final and ultimate breach between the dimensions takes place, one which cannot be prevented by the Blind Brothers or the Concsiousness. The Shifters and Outcasts discover that the magics of both Planes are now forever intertwined, and Shifting between either realm can become easily possible. To enable this power, they create Rift Portals throughout the Ethereal Plane to channel energies between both worlds. The first of these, the Tevarx Passage (Tevarx = Dimensional), manifests in the Physical Realm in the centre of an archipelago in central Ashan.
The Outcasts and Shifters, not yet accustomed to this process, seal up the Tevarx Passage for now following spurious debates and dedicate themselves to the development of simpler means of travel between the realms. They do not return to Ashan's Physical Realm for many years - until Heroes VI, in fact.
The advancement of the Outsiders through Ashan during their brief entry into the Physical Plane
The Tales of Karador begin
981 Y.S.D. - Modern Age
Karador, a Wizard from Ashan, embarks on a quest to undo the three Seals of Life, Death and Shadows crafted by Sar-Elam. The destruction of the seals will open yet another breach in the Ethereal Plane: the early Dark Elves established cities in ancient tunnels below the earth - one of these tunnels housed the original Rift Portal used by the Mistweavers to enter the Netherworld.
Further events regarding the outcome of Karador's actions will be revealed in the Tales of Karador campaigns.
Events of Heroes VI
???
...and then it all begins to take place!
CAMPAIGN:
None. But I have a reason. Why bother making a campaign for a game when we don't even have an inkling as to the game's structure, the other campaigns it'll involve... or even whether or not there'll be faction-based campaigns at all? No point. It'd just look like another half-baked five-scenario travesty... so sorry viewers!
Relations with other factions:
An account of the known factions of Ashan, as composed by adventurous explorer and Loremaster, Karemb Né-Azenith.
HAVEN
"For centuries I strived to study those of corporeal form in Ashan, particularly the mortals. When my chance to do so arrived following the Day of the Rift... I was disappointed. It became quickly clear to me that they are a slow, ignorant race, prejudiced at worst and foolish at best. There is, however, an unmistakeable aura of innocence which clings to them like a relentless, festering disease. They are a heroic people when the opportunity arises. But make no mistake that they are just as dangerous as you or I."
- Karemb Né-Azenith
SYLVAN
"The Rift Portals have given us an excellent chance to understand Those Unseen with perception unlike ever before. With my own eyes, I gazed upon the Mist of Ashan, the lifeblood of their land parallel to our own. I beheld the Trees, the brown and green towers shooting upward from the surface, and looked upon their protectors and wardens with a respect and mutual understanding uncommon to our race."
- Karemb Né-Azenith
ACADEMY
"Some seek truth, they say. But not all have grown to respect the secrets of time, and the children of the Knowledge-Bastions they call Academies so have earned my disapproval and disrespect. It is one thing to revere the Truth and abide by its glory, but Revelation is a gift - a power which comes with time and wisdom, not with experimentation and casual disinterest. Thus is the way of these people, these disrespectful purveyors of a gift they have not been given."
- Karemb Né-Azenith
INFERNO
"Dimensions may seperate us and the Shifters have held them as true enemies, but I have felt a peculiar kinship with these vagrant 'Demons'. Though the sons and daughters of a God unknown to our race, and thus alien to our kind, I share a fel trust of instinct between the fire-lovers, perhaps to my own folly. They are destructive and self-absorbed, but it is my own inner understanding that we are all the children of dimensional distortion. Still, our Shifter allies compel us to oppose and despise this race. I cannot deny them."
- Karemb Né-Azenith
NECROPOLIS
"They speak to their own Astral Orb of Light with grim reverence befitting of fanatics and lunatics, worshipping and harnessing the forces of the Netherworld we dwell within. They preach the words of their Spider Queen beyond the stars as though she were the Consciousness incarnate. In truth, our dual love of knowledge and the Void should serve to bring us together. But never as long as I live shall I deign to reside among those who find the concept of dragging the deceased from the Fog and using these revenants to their own purposes an appealing one."
- Karemb Né-Azenith
DUNGEON
"They are our parallels in Ashan. Though our locational choices are not remotely similar, they hold Truth and Rvelation as sacred sides of life's twinned sphere and believe their own Consciousness to lay far outside their own realm of understanding. There is little more to say of them. We are destined allies in all respects."
- Karemb Né-Azenith
FORTRESS
"Never shall I understand this people of contradictions innumerable. They dwell in frozen lands yet construct blazing devices. They revere fire yet their ranks are comprised of ice and water. A formidable, noble race, but not one I wish to consort with. Some of their number are treacherous and stubborn to say the least, and not even the Mist can propel their elusive minds to less rough pastures. I cannot try to comprehend them."
- Karemb Né-Azenith
STRONGHOLD
"As with the Demons, I felt a magnificent sense of unity with these barbaric people. However, this connection was in no way iniquitous. They are feral and wild, both traits we Outcasts are urged to adopt in our reverence of the Consciousness, yet they are also innocuous in many respects and have felt oppression before. Demonic taint of blood or no, the "Orcs" are our kin in soul and, to a point, in mind. Our friends and comrades."
- Karemb Né-Azenith
Lineup:
All creature artwork very graciously drawn by the amazingly talented Vlaad. Doesn't really count as a favour though since I wrote his faction's lengthy storyline 
LEVEL 1 Unit Description: THE WISPS
"This eternal night gives way to a reflection of the Beyond. These mirrors of truth watch over us with their lives."
STATISTICS
Pretty weak even for a level 1 unit, but very numerous. Capable of Phoenix-style Rebirth upon death. Low defence, low attack, high speed, bad damage - excellent fodder unit, otherwise practically useless.
Wisps are the last remnants of fallen Outcasts, sentient souls incapable of feeling pain or suffering. Though easily destroyed, they constantly return to the Consciousness and are born again into a corporeal shape. Revered by the Outcasts, these dancing lights strive to protect their living brethren in battle, usually sacrificing themselves in doing so.
Abilities:
Phoenix Rebirth allows the Wisps to revive 20% of their number if their entire stack is destroyed in battle.
Upgrade Choice 1: GUARDIAN WISP
Guardian Wisps are a little more defensive than their downgraded counterparts. Their health is no higher than before, but their Phoenix Rebirth now revives 30% of their number rather than the original 20%.
Guardian Wisps embody a dual manifestation of soul and spirit, combining both the essence and the characteristics of the Outcasts they once embodied. As such, their form is far less attuned to the corporeal realms and can sustain more physical damage. In addition, the augmentation of spiritual magics they are endowed with allow more of their number to "revive" upon "death".
Abilities:
Phoenix Rebirth allows the Guardian Wisps to revive 30% of their number if their entire stack is destroyed in battle.
Upgrade Choice 2: SHIMMERLIGHT
In contrast to Guardian Wisps, Shimmerlights are more offensive than ordinary Wisps. They are swifter, and can drain mana equivalent to their number upon attacking spellcasting enemies. However, their Rebirth ability remains at 20%.
The Shimmerlights are swifter variants of Wisps, attacking their foes with searing energies unbefitting of such an otherwise-pacific entity. Close in spirit to the corporeal realm, they have been known to leech away the magics of the Netherworld drawn upon by spellcasting foes, rendering their enemies incapable of wielding magic.
Abilities:
Phoenix Rebirth allows the Shimmerlights to revive 20% of their number if their entire stack is destroyed in battle.
Drain Mana allows Shimmerlights to absorb a very small portion of their foes' mana when attacking spellcasting enemies. The amount of drained mana depends on the number of Shimmerlights in the attacking stack.
LEVEL 2 Unit Description: THE SERPUS
"Scarred by the truth, wounded by histories and destinies uncounted... the venomous cycle of deathless repentance across the ages trundles forward, as ever."
STATISTICS
Durable, offensive level 2 units. Fairly slow indeed but excellent for use in sieges and devastating with augmentation spells such as Haste. Has a surround attack, similar to the Cerberus.
This sentient creature takes the form of a serpent with three heads, similar to a minute version of the Heroes II Hydra. Original denizens of the Ethereal Plane, the Outcasts depend strongly upon the Serpus during battle - durable and deadly, their only main drawback is their uncanny lack of movement speed. Their coiled bodies shimmer with the symbols of Revelation and Truth, allowing any foes to quickly ascertain where their allegiances lie.
Abilities:
Three Heads allows the Serpus to attack all enemies in front of it during melee attack.
Upgrade Choice 1: MIST SERPUS
As in the case of the Wisps, the Mist Serpus is more defensive while the Fog Serpus is offensive. Slightly higher health and defence, loses one point of Attack.
Abilities:
Three Heads allows the Mist Serpus to attack all enemies in front of it during melee attack.
Shining Runes allows the Mist Serpus to daze and blind enemies upon attack.
Upgrade Choice 2: FOG SERPUS
As in the case of the Wisps, the Fog Serpus is more offensive while the Mist Serpus is defensive. Slightly higher speed and attack, loses one point of Defence.
Abilities:
Three Heads allows the Fog Serpus to attack all enemies in front of it during melee attack.
Shrouded Strike allows the Fog Serpus to turn invisible for a single turn directly after attacking. The Fog Serpus can still be harmed by hostile magic, though not directly attacked.
LEVEL 3 Unit Description: THE LOREMASTERS
"Revelation our majestic goal, our path remains clear. We shall compile all the lore of this world and the next."
STATISTICS
Defensive spellcasters. A good support unit capable of holding its own in battle. Good attack, strong defence, weak damage, moderate speed. Has some unique abilities.
The Loremasters are one of the two strongest governing sects in Ká-Tevarx, composed of Outcast warrior-priests. True disciples of Revelation and the Consciousness, they wield jewelled swords and sturdy plate armour, having memorised a full repertoire of spells for use upon allies and enemies alike. Though not the finest of warriors, they are excellent mystics.
LEVEL 4 Unit Description: THE MIST WARRIORS
"For the revelations of Mist and the mysteries of Fog. May this outcast world take pride in our presence."
STATISTICS
Strong attackers - the backbone of a Rift army. High endurance and attack but low defence makes them vulnerable to other powerful fighters. Somewhat numerous if a little underpowered. Can switch weapons in battle.
Mist Warriors wander the Netherworld as mercenaries, lending their fierce strength and dominating willpower to any Outsider who dares to take them. Pledging allegiance only to Ká-Tevarx, they often engage in battle for their homeland and are usually armed with multiple weapons. These gruff Outcasts are a force to be both feared and respected throughout the Ethereal Plane.
LEVEL 5 Unit Description: THE SHIFTERS
"To the Consciousness we glance in reverence, the Truth our shining beacon."
STATISTICS
Generally well-rounded unit, with moderate attack and speed. Decent defence, damage is low but can attack multiple enemies. Can cast basic spells and use abilities such as Mind Blast, Telekinesis and 50% Magicproof.
Native to the Netherworld, the Shifters of Ká-Tevarx are magically-driven beings with an affinity for mind-based magic. Fervent worshippers of the Consciousness, the Shifters enjoy a form of higher sentience outside the reach of mortal beings, including Outcasts. As such, they are capable of manipulating the mind and deflecting spell attacks in addition to performing feats other entities would never deem possible.
Abilities:
Mind Blast allows Shifters to perform a cross-shaped attack. Any units caught in the crossfire receive damage to both their health and their mana, if applicable.
25% Magic Proof speaks for itself.
Upgrade Choice 1: RIFTSTRIDER
Swifter, stronger attack... that's about it. Also receives higher magic protection.
Abilities:
Mind Blast allows Riftstriders to perform a cross-shaped attack. Any units caught in the crossfire receive damage to both their health and their mana, if applicable.
50% Magic Proof speaks for itself.
Upgrade Choice 2: DREAMWRIGHT
High defence, a boost to hitpoints, and an extra point to initiative. Some nice abilities to boot.
Abilities:
Mind Blast allows Dreamwrights to perform a cross-shaped attack. Any units caught in the crossfire receive damage to both their health and their mana, if applicable.
Telekinesis allows Dreamwrights to perform a ranged attack, once per battle. The ranged attack works just like a normal one, though the Dreamwright must face its target directly without obstruction.
25% Magic Proof speaks for itself.
Click Here to view the Shifters' cultural descriptions.
LEVEL 6 Unit Description: THE CHIMERAS
"You fear us? You would dare an eternity of lost laments, of oblivious agony... to fear us? You are not worth the bounty of fear. You are nothing, nothingness in our wake."
STATISTICS
Manticore-style: not overly defensive, though strong attackers. Powerful damage and moderate speed, low initiative. Can fly and use Paw Strike. Upgrades receive Fire Breath and Venomous Strike, respectively.
The Netherworld has fathered countless warped and chaotic monstrosities in its time, but few as unique as the Chimera. Those of Ashan would remark that this creature is comprised of part-Lion, part-Snake and part-Goat, capable of flight and used as tame offensive battalions in combat by the denizens of Ká-Tevarx. No soul would dare to question the being that would birth such a horror...
Abilities:
Paw Strike is a slashing attack which temporarily reduces the defence of units it targets.
Upgrade Choice 1: FELL AMALGAM
Attack and Initiative-oriented. Acts quickly and strikes fast. Retains flight but loses Paw Strike: however, can use Fire Breath.
Abilities:
Fire Breath allows the Fell Amalgam to attack two units in a row with Fire-elemental damage.
Upgrade Choice 2: UMBRAL BEAST
A bitter, twisted Chimera with black and green hues. Swift and defensive, strikingly low initiative however. Retains Paw Strike and flight, can also use Venomous Strike.
Abilities:
Paw Strike is a slashing attack which temporarily reduces the defence of units it targets.
Venomous Strike afflicts the unit's targets with poison, causing them to take damage at the start of their turn.
LEVEL 7 Unit Description: THE YESTERTIDE
"The thoughts of a Shifter, the instincts of an Outcast, the Consciousness incarnate. And thus... it is done."
STATISTICS
Stategically similar to a Colossus and an Angel: very high damage, very high defence, low speed and moderate attack. Can cast spells and use abilities including Transcendence and Higher Power.
The Consciousness can never be comprehended. Not in a thousand years could any living or dead being ever understand its chaotic forces, its twisted ways. The Yestertide proves this in earnest. Forged of a minute portion of the Consciousness' energies, these colossal entities combine the thoughts of a Shifter with the instincts of an Outcast, giving life to a being of high transcendence unmatched within or ouside Ashan's boundaries.
Abilities:
Transcendence allows the Yestertide to tap into its residual Outcast origins, receiving the ability to cast two spells in succession per turn for two turns.
Higher Power allows the Yestertide to assume the memories of its Shifter ancestry, becoming immune to damage from the next two enemy attacks. Can only be used once per combat, and lasts only for one turn.
Upgrade Choice 1: QUINTESSENCE
Far higher durability and defence. A decent attacker, though speed is not good. Spells are unaffected - loses 'Transcendence'.
Abilities:
Higher Power allows the Quintessence to assume the memories of its Shifter ancestry, becoming immune to damage from the next two enemy attacks. Can only be used once per combat, and lasts only for one turn.
Upgrade Choice 2: MENTISSIMAR
More magic-oriented than the Yestertide, with higher mana and stronger spells. Excellent support unit. Attack, defence etc. do not improve.
Abilities:
Transcendence allows the Mentissimar to tap into its residual Outcast origins, receiving the ability to cast two spells in succession per turn for two turns.
Higher Power allows the Mentissimar to assume the memories of its Shifter ancestry, becoming immune to damage from the next two enemy attacks. Can only be used once per combat, and lasts only for one turn.
Mental Onslaught allows the Mentissimar to assume the memories of its Shifter ancestry, becoming immune to damage from the next two enemy attacks. Can only be used once per combat, and lasts only for one turn.
Town Description:
In contrast to the other towns, the Rift's interior takes the form of a bottomless pit - upon entering the interior, the camera is focused downward, and will dive towards a second "plane" of view when moved ala the Heroes V Fortress. Surrounded by firm, purple rock, the Rift's pit houses most of the town's bulidings atop rocky stalagmites which rise up from the darkness below. Depending on the number of buildings built, there will be a maximum of five stalagmites within the pit - they appear as certain prerequisites for certain buildings are met. An "empty town" has only the central stalagmite, designed to house the town's Hall structures.
On the Rift's upper rim, some minor buildings such as the marketplace, houses, blacksmith and a couple of dwellings can be seen. As the town's Castle level develops, force-walls surround the town with increasing magnitude. These walls are also visible in sieges. The terrain within the walls is a form of black stone, similar to onyx, and directly outside the walls bluish, otherworldly ground is visible. This terrain is one of the default types for the Ethereal world. The sky above the rift is dark teal, suggesting the approaching advent of storm clouds.
Only the town's main stalagmite - the one housing the Castle - is higher than the rim of the Rift's pit. The other four are at varying altitudes moving downwards in a clockwise fashion - the highest of these four appears first, as building commences the next will appear, etc. In sieges, the ranged Loremasters defend the town's parapets.
Basic bird's-eye view of the Rift interior - five stalagmite platforms and an outer rim guarded by a force wall
The town's basic architecture is of an arcane style. Buildings are silver or white in hue, apart from "natural" ones which are primarily purplish or blue. Windows in the artificial buildings pulse with a neon blue light, are usually round-edged box-style with either flat or triangular rooves. Some buildings, such as the Shift Portal and upgraded structures such as the Door of the Manifests become a sleek, runic black upon upgrading, assuming purple lights rather than blue neon ones.
RIFT DWELLINGS
Searing Vortex
The Searing Vortex allows you to recruit Wisps.
Searing Spectrum
The Searing Spectrum allows you to recruit Wisps, Guardian Wisps or Shimmerlights.
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Serpentine Deeps
The Serpentine Deeps allow you to recruit Serpus.
Den of Shrouds
The Den of Shrouds allows you to recruit Serpus, Mist Serpus or Fog Serpus.
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Loremasters' Refuge
The Loremasters' Refuge allows you to recruit Loremasters.
Loremasters' Guild
The Loremasters' Guild allows you to recruit Loremasters, Spellbinders or Glyph Sages.
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Mist Sanctorum
The Mist Sanctorum allows you to recruit Mist Warriors.
Shadow Sanctorum
The Shadow Sanctorum allows you to recruit Mist Warriors, Mist Overlords or Shadow Legionnaires.
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Door of Truth
The Door of Truth allows you to recruit Shifters.
Door of the Manifests
The Door of the Manifests allows you to recruit Shifters, Riftstriders or Dreamwrights.
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Chimerean Dell
The Chimerean Dell allows you to recruit Chimeras.
Umbral Dell
The Umbral Dell allows you to recruit Chimeras, Fell Amalgams or Umbral Beasts.
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Mentis Chasm
The Mentis Chasm allows you to recruit Yestertides.
Chasm of Lost Destinies
The Chasm of Lost Destinies allows you to recruit Yestertides, Quintessences or Mentissimar.
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Rift Portal
Allows Outsider heroes to shift between the Physical and Ethereal Planes without any movement penalties.
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Tempestuous Zenith
During sieges, towns with an active Tempestuous Zenith automatically call Lightning-based spells onto the enemy once per two turns.
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Wanderer's Gauntlet
Increases weekly Mist Warrior generation by +3.
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Voidwalker's Nadir
Supports the Voidwalker faction-based skill. This structure allows players to exchange Glyph Points (a 'resource' found on the Adventure Map by Rift players) for Glyphs. Glyphs affect the entire player's kingdom as a whole, not just a specific town / hero in which they are researched. More info below!
Heroes:
THE OUTSIDERS
Outsiders are wielders of Mist and Fog, diligent leaders of the Ká-Tevarx armies with mighty abilities of their own. Capable of shifting between the Ethereal and Physical worlds, they are comprised of both Outcasts and Shifters. All Outsiders begin with are capable of flagging Glyph Shrines and of using the Shift Worlds ability. Their Adventure Map powers are enhanced when Glyphs are collected.
A FEW SIMPLE EXAMPLES...
(I drew these hero portraits, not Vlaad, so please direct all insults on their poor quality to me instead! )
RACIAL ABILITY:
VOIDWALKER
The merging together of the Physical World and the Demon World in the Mythic Wars brought about a phenomenal breaching of the world's interdimensional planar barriers, expanding constantly with the emergence of new events and occurences throughout Ashan's history. Now, the Physical and Ethereal planes are growing closer together as the ages past, and already beings exist who are capable of swift and efficient travel between the two - especially with the destruction of the dimensional seals conjured by Sar-Issus long ago.
The Ethereal Plane is unique in that it is a mirror of the Physical Plane. Intertwined eternally, the physics of both worlds differ indeed, but the general landscape remains consistent. Such is depicted here:
The Physical Plane and the Ethereal Plane: note the Ethereal Plane's lack of trees, the minor differences in the land's shape and the drastic divergence in hues - textures on the right side will be appearing in Tales of Karador, courtesy of Cepheus 
A third "level" of gameplay is thus introduced into the game, related to both the Overworld and the Underworld: the Netherworld. Heroes of the Rift faction begin play in the Netherworld, while all other factions originate and permanently remain in the Physical - only Outsiders can dwell within either at will. Naturally, though both realms are similar, there are fundamental differences which affect gameplay.
The Ethereal Plane is usually generated as a mapmaker constructs the normal Overworld and Underworld: however, the mapmaker can choose to specifically alter the Ethereal Plane in certain ways as they see fit.
The aforementioned differences mainly affect the Adventure Map: dwellings and mines cannot be flagged in the Ethereal Plane, yet Outsiders can be within the either Plane to instigate combat (though are far more powerful in the Ethereal). Shifting between Planes is a simple task - casting the "Shift Worlds" spell automatically switches the hero's current Plane. It does not cost mana, but takes away 50% of the hero's current movement points. Thus, it is wise to keep at least two heroes, one in the Physical Plane and one in the Ethereal.
I've chosen mainly to focus on the game mechanics the skill introduces rather than play around with the bonus abilities and skills heroes with the Voidwalker ability can attain - sorry for that.
Heroes in the Ethereal Plane can see and collect Glyph points. These are an "extra" resource, placed by the mapmaker, visible only to Outsiders. As the Rift faction is comprised from elements of both Planes, it can "research" boons and effects relating to either Plane through the Voidwalker's Nadir using these Glyph points, such as:
LEVEL 1 GLYPHS:
Level 1 Glyphs each require 1 Glyph Point and a level 1 Voidwalker's Nadir. Here's a few examples...
Rage of the Ether (1 Glyph Point)
Rift creatures from 1st to 3rd level receive the "Enraged" ability when engaged in combat under the command of a hero in the Ethereal Plane.
Striders of the Sky (1 Glyph Point)
If combat is instigated in the Ethereal Plane in an area comprised of Dirt terrain in the Physical Plane, level 2 and 4 creatures automatically receive the effects of the Haste spell.
Well of Rebirth (1 Glyph Point)
All Wisps, Guardian Wisps and Shimmerlights in the player's armies revive an additional 8% of their number when their entire stack is slain in combat.
LEVEL 2 GLYPHS:
Level 2 Glyphs each require 2 Glyph Points, a level 2 Voidwalker's Nadir and at least two level 7 heroes under the player's command. Yet more examples:
Eye of the Consciousness (2 Glyph Points)
Shifters under the command of a hero in the Ethereal Plane receive the ability to use a ranged attack once per battle: they can only use this after the third round in battle.
Minewalker (2 Glyph Points)
Heroes in the Ethereal Plane can flag common resource generators: that's Wood and Ore generators, not the other five types.
Lunar Aura (2 Glyph Points)
In the Ethereal Plane, all Outsiders regenerate mana twice as quickly and can Shift to the Physical Plane at -10% movement cost.
LEVEL 3 GLYPHS:
Level 3 Glyphs each require 3 Glyph Points, a level 3 Voidwalker's Nadir and at least two level 15 heroes under the player's command. Yet more examples:
Cry of the Astral Orb (3 Glyph Points)
All Shifter dwellings under the player's command generate one additional Shifter per week.
Mirror of the Void (3 Glyph Points)
Level 3 and Level 5 Rift creatures permanently receive the Magic Mirror boon when engaged in combat under the command of a hero in the Ethereal Plane. The boon does not affect positive spells such as Haste.
Day of Reckoning (3 Glyph Points)
Loremasters and Yestertides in the hero's army are capable of casting two spells in succession when engaged in combat under the command of a hero in the Ethereal Plane.
...and so on, yadda yadda yadda, et cetera et cetera. There's supposed to be around ten Glyphs to choose from per Glyph level. Glyph points are extremely rare indeed, so it's not supposed to be possible to attain all of the Glyphs, let alone make use of them.
And that's that, I guess. Could have explained the whole skill mechanics a little more, but I don't know what else to say... so ask me!
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Snatch
Promising
Known Hero
Proud Kappa
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posted March 07, 2008 04:58 PM |
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Heroes always start with 5 attribute points. Your hero only has 4.
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Cepheus
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Far-flung Keeper
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posted March 07, 2008 05:08 PM |
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Edited by Cepheus at 17:48, 07 Mar 2008.
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This is supposed to be designed for Heroes VI  Not everything will be related to Heroes V. However, you're right, I sorta screwed up. Thanks 
EDIT: Fixed.
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"Those who forget their history are inevitably doomed to repeat it." —Proverb, Might and Magic VIII
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted March 08, 2008 11:53 PM |
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Edited by baklava at 23:55, 08 Mar 2008.
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Vlaad outdid himself here  The Chimaera is especially awesome.
You did a great work too, Ceph
Maybe just a bit too humanoid faction for my taste, but then again, most factions are I just wonder what the level 2 will be.
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Cepheus
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Far-flung Keeper
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posted March 09, 2008 04:11 PM |
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Thanks Baklava, appreciate it Worry ye not, Level 2 will not be another humanoid.
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enamelity
Known Hero
You Misunderestimated Me
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posted March 11, 2008 02:10 AM |
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In all other ICTC entries, I see misspelling, bad grammar, and, most importantly, bad English. In your Rift I see none of these flaws.
Congratulations on your awesome faction
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GenieLord
Honorable
Legendary Hero
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posted March 18, 2008 02:04 PM |
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Quote:
In all other ICTC entries, I see misspelling, bad grammar, and, most importantly, bad English.
Not everyone is a native English speaker. What does the English matter, if the concept is good and the creatures are interesting?
But I do agree that this faction is great. Haven't read it to details, but in a glance I can see no things that bother me. The lore is excellent (well, Ceph is the Lore Matser), the creatures names and descriptions are great.
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Cepheus
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Far-flung Keeper
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posted March 24, 2008 09:53 PM |
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Thanks all.
Would anyone care to provide some last minute feedback...? I have no idea whether this stuff is actually good or not since only three people have decided to drop by and comment.
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Magister180888
Known Hero
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posted March 24, 2008 10:33 PM |
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I don't know what to add. I think you could have resumed/summed up a bit much. I don't know, i just think too much stuff gets you a bit crazy, but i am probably wrong though.
As for cretures, they have a lack of colours, i think.
Anyway, most of that work looks really complete.
What is the alignment of that town?
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Cepheus
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Far-flung Keeper
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posted March 24, 2008 11:00 PM |
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Thanks for your comment, it's a neutral faction. "Good" in terms of Heroes V, where neutrals don't exist.
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"Those who forget their history are inevitably doomed to repeat it." —Proverb, Might and Magic VIII
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted March 25, 2008 09:34 AM |
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Hmm if I tried to score this my head would explode. So through, and such wonderful writing skills. Just too much information for me to process. As always, however, it just amazes me how GOOD you are.
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Message received.
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sith_of_ziost
Promising
Supreme Hero
Scouting the Multiverse
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posted March 26, 2008 03:58 AM |
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Cohesiveness - 9/10. Yes, its very well strung together, but, it seems like some of it is...missing ()
Wow Factor - 12/15. Nice yes, but a little on the abstract side. It impresses me to your lorekeeping skills, however, so that earned you a few Wow points.
Back Story - 10/10. Good explanation, and I like how you talk from their point of view. It fits perfectly in the universe.
Battle Facettes - 6/10. This is where you suffer. Most of your units are next to vanilla. I mean, I'm not sure whether combat will be interesting, beacause your raciality focuses on anything but.
Discretionary 5/5. I'm giving it all to you on this one. It is obviously a Cepheus work, so you've earned my Discretionary points. You've once again proven yourself a great historian.
Total Score: 42 Points
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War-overlord
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Presidente of Isla del Tropico
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posted March 26, 2008 10:50 AM |
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Cohesiveness: 7/10 points; it's rather cohesive, but you lack an unambigous differentaition between the several entities in your faction
Imagination/creativity/originality/wow factor: 15/15 points; very orgiginal concept and I like the way you immerse yourself as one of those you create (as opposed to my own objective observant-style)
Back story: 8/10 points; I don't like the way you have rewritten the known history, I think one should just add, not change the existing
Battle facets: 7/10 points; focusing on constantly shifting between several layers of map seems overly complicated
Discretionary: 3/5; I'm sorry, even though you have put a lot of effort into it, but it lacks actual culture, the culture you have given in your shifters section is more a description of race-mentality. Not actual culture(politics, socialstructure, habits and rituals) and you lack a solid physical description of the core-race.
Overall score: 41/50
I've made a small edit, I have been a bit to harsh because of my bad legg acting up.
____________
Vote El Presidente! Or Else!
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Cepheus
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Far-flung Keeper
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posted March 26, 2008 02:08 PM |
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Edited by Cepheus at 16:40, 26 Mar 2008.
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There are a few things I don't get here...
Quote:
Back story: 7/10 points; I don't like the way you have rewritten the known history, I think one should just add, not change the existing
What did I rewrite or change from the current timeline, apart from a few events involving Wizards?
Quote:
Not actual culture(politics, socialstructure, habits and rituals)
I was pretty satisfied that I'd covered that with the timeline and the paragraphs above it.
Quote:
and you lack a solid physical description of the core-race.
What?
Quote:
In appearance we are easily recognised. Our skin tones are of a pale, brightish teal hue, our attire purplish, grey and yellow - though not so as to look foolish, rather to generate the image of true, mystically-adept Mistweavers, a people who hail and revere the Consciousness and the twinned forces of the Void's depths - the mild, ever-rising tide of Mist, and the iniquitous, shrouding blanket of Fog. These dual beliefs strengthen our kind and give rise to the sustenance which has allowed our race to endure in this alien landscape.
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War-overlord
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Presidente of Isla del Tropico
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posted March 26, 2008 05:40 PM |
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Quote:
What did I rewrite or change from the current timeline, apart from a few events involving Wizards?
That alone is enough, this changes the motives of the Blind Brothers and the Seventh Dragon. Instead of acting on the will of the Existing goddes Asha, they now act out the will of an Alien Hivemind of sorts. Turning them into minions of this Consiousness instead of the heroes they are viewed to be. This puts the entire history into a new perspective.
Quote:
I was pretty satisfied that I'd covered that with the timeline and the paragraphs above it.
Perhaps you did, but all I can read in the timeline and the paragraphs above those, is how your race(s) came into being, what they worship and that one of the entities of your faction are rule by a monarch. There is no description of how they are governed, how their society works, what these being do in times of peace etc.
Quote:
Quote:
and you lack a solid physical description of the core-race.
What?
Quote:
In appearance we are easily recognised. Our skin tones are of a pale, brightish teal hue, our attire purplish, grey and yellow - though not so as to look foolish, rather to generate the image of true, mystically-adept Mistweavers, a people who hail and revere the Consciousness and the twinned forces of the Void's depths - the mild, ever-rising tide of Mist, and the iniquitous, shrouding blanket of Fog. These dual beliefs strengthen our kind and give rise to the sustenance which has allowed our race to endure in this alien landscape.
Sorry Cepheus, but this only tells people that they have teal-colored skinn and what colour clothes they wear. Other then that, they could look like pretty much anything. As far as I know from this description, they could vary from giant Frogs to Starcrafts Protoss. The thing that I am trying to make clear here, it that this is a verry ambiguous description, with lots of blanks to fill. That combined with the large variety of ambiguous entities covered in the history, it makes it for me verry hard to create a mind-image of what your core race looks like.
____________
Vote El Presidente! Or Else!
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Cepheus
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Far-flung Keeper
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posted March 26, 2008 05:49 PM |
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Edited by Cepheus at 17:31, 27 Mar 2008.
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Well first thank you for the explanations, though I dunno if changing your score was necessary - I'm not trying to contest your judgements or anything, I just wanted to get my points across. Anyway, I hope it's not against the rules that I try to explain things a little further...
Quote:
That alone is enough, this changes the motives of the Blind Brothers and the Seventh Dragon. Instead of acting on the will of the Existing goddes Asha, they now act out the will of an Alien Hivemind of sorts. Turning them into minions of this Consiousness instead of the heroes they are viewed to be. This puts the entire history into a new perspective.
Is that such a problem? Forgive me for assuming history isn't always one-sided. I think this is what I was aiming to introduce.
Quote:
Perhaps you did, but all I can read in the timeline and the paragraphs above those, is how your race(s) came into being, what they worship and that one of the entities of your faction are rule by a monarch. There is no description of how they are governed, how their society works, what these being do in times of peace etc.
Well it's your discretionary mark and you are the judge so I can't argue with an opinion that isn't my own. But I didn't realise I was obliged to go that far in the first place, the requirement and category was a backstory. Not a full political and cultural analysis.
Quote:
it makes it for me verry hard to create a mind-image of what your core race looks like.
That is what the images are for. I like to give people some credit and leave some things to the imagination rather than spell everything out in black and white.
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Golemcrafter
Promising
Famous Hero
Unlimited Fantasy Master
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posted March 27, 2008 08:39 PM |
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My Rate about The Rift
Cohesiveness: 10/10 points (Cohesive for sure for me.)
Imagination/creativity/originality/wow factor: 14/15 points (Superb abilites and racial skill. The only problem, that some abilities are repeating each other.)
Back Stoory: 8/10 points (Thanks to that you have splitted up the history I can say my opinion: I like the most of it but some of them don't. Again the stroy and timeline is too long and I will reduce points from thoose who write long stories, because a good story doesn't worth much alone.)
Battle Facets: 9/10 points (Not enough creature abilites.)
Discreationary: 3/5 points (Heroes, dwellings, relationship between the kingdoms.)
Overall: 44/50 points
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Snatch
Promising
Known Hero
Proud Kappa
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posted March 28, 2008 05:30 PM |
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Cohesiveness: 7/10 (I'm a bit confused about the background - why don't you implement just one 'race'? shifters or outcasts? - and I miss the implementation of the "united we are strong" motto in terms of creature specials and abilities)
Imagination: 11/15 (shifters look like magic elementals from Heroes 3 Conflux town, town view is slightly based on fortress, but there are some original ideas indeed whereby some other ideas need a better workout, your theme has potential left)
Back story: 8/10 (Much effort from you here, but I found it a bit exhausting to follow with all that shifters, void, netherworld, spheres, consciousness, outcasts...)
Battle facets: 6/10 (loremaster ans mist warrior abilities and upgrades are lacking, I miss a ranged unit - oh strangely it is revealed in the town description that loremasters are ranged - and a flyer, so I couldn't judge all battle aspects, for now I think it could be more versatile, I don't get the practical effect of the ethereal plain, glyphs and glyph points could be implemented more easily)
Discretionary: 3/5 (for your effort, your ideas and descriptions)
35/50
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Cepheus
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Far-flung Keeper
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posted March 28, 2008 05:44 PM |
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Edited by Cepheus at 19:55, 29 Mar 2008.
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...that bad? 
Quote:
I'm a bit confused about the background - why don't you implement just one 'race'? shifters or outcasts?
Because, to be honest, I am sick of the "one race" theme in Heroes V. I wanted to make a faction with two distinct groups, trying to explicitly avoid the homogeny of, say, the Fortress faction. I guess time constraints caught up with me though
Quote:
shifters look like magic elementals from Heroes 3 Conflux town
That's deliberate, if you've played Heroes Chronicles you'll know what I mean
Of all things, if nothing else, I thought I'd score well on the backstory. Maybe next time...
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Snatch
Promising
Known Hero
Proud Kappa
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posted March 28, 2008 06:08 PM |
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Okay, taking the Fortress as example it's absolutely your point. But unfortunately I haven't played Heroes Chronicles.
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