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| Thread: Feelings...are they worth it? |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted March 15, 2008 09:49 AM |
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Feelings...are they worth it?
I am beginning to wonder if having feelings is worth it. Especially for others. People grow tired of you, and leave. They take advantage of you, then once they are done, just walk away. Is it really worth it?
I've heard the arguements before. "When you find the right person." "Not everybody is like that." "You have to give love a chance."
Why? The few that are genuine and worth the effort, they end up dying. You have to sit and watch them waste away to nothing, and are powerless to stop it.
I envy people who don't care about others, who don't feel. People always tell me they envy me because I have a big heart. Unfortunately a big heart just has more room for pain. Is it worth it? Are people worth it?
They hate over such trivial things. Beliefs, religion, race, color, the list is endless. Mindless trivial things that don't really matter. Then there is the greed. Endless, bottomless, and never able to be satiated. Enough is never enough. Is it worth it? I don't know anymore.
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Message received.
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted March 15, 2008 10:49 AM |
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Quote:
Unfortunately a big heart just has more room for pain
-This is a great sentence. It's a big sentence with many feelings and a struggle.
But the thread is not about one sentence! Its about you, going a bit emo  , I think this thread is about you being tired and want to puke because life sucks! Those feelings will always come, life is tough, lets face it!
I like that you write about it because you need to get those snowty feelings of your shoulders.
UT 2004 Quote: Life sucks, get over it!
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Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted March 15, 2008 11:58 AM |
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Edited by Azagal at 12:06, 15 Mar 2008.
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Emilsn already said true words and put it across very mildly...
Since I don't know whether you are whining momentarily or are such an emo person in generell I will also try to put this across in a "friendly" kind of way.
Look what's wrong with this sentence?
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I am beginning to wonder if having feelings is worth it. Especially for others. People grow tired of you, and leave. They take advantage of you, then once they are done, just walk away.
You said "People" instead of "Some people". Big difference. In case you've only had bad experiences (which I doubt sorry...) you should still be reasonable enough to see how your situation can't possibly ably to everybody else in the world.
Besides love may infact really make you "blind" but I think no matter how desprate one is (I'm not talking about you in spesific here!) one should atleast be able to see that one isn't treated good enough. The problem is that people tend to see this and do two of the following
a)pretend like they don't notice/don't accept it
b)accept it but don't stop worshipping the person who treats them bad because they are so insanely inlove with him/her.
Now what they should do is just dump that person and get over with it. This is much more easy to say that actually pull it off I know but after some time one should come back to your full senses and then can dump him/her. If you don't (after comming to your senses!) it's your own fault and complaining about your (I'm not talking about YOU)situation is just whining and not being able to deal with reality. Seriously I don't pity people like that... I think they're weak but let's not get into that.
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The few that are genuine and worth the effort, they end up dying. You have to sit and watch them waste away to nothing, and are powerless to stop it.
...what? This is plain wrong except you are talking about a personal experience. Besides there is always something you can do (Ok you can't prevent someone from dying if the has extremly serious cancer but you can still help them).
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I envy people who don't care about others, who don't feel.
...I forgive you for saying that because you seem to very sad and your reason doesn't work probably... Do you know what those people are missing? Love, Compassion, Relief, Sorrow everything! The amount of "joy" you can get without having feeling is not even slightly compareable to the "joy" people with feelings have.
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People always tell me they envy me because I have a big heart. Unfortunately a big heart just has more room for pain. Is it worth it? Are people worth it?
Yes. But that doesn't mean that people aren't worth it. Of course there are people who trouble themselves with everything from the tinyiest most insignificant matter to the most serious of problems other people have. I don't know what type you are but
1. No one makes those troubles yours. Worrying about other people is something very human so it's a good thing. But burdening yourself too much with those problems is nothing you should do (not mainly because of yourself but mainly because the person you are worring about will most likely feel bad because now he also has to worry about you worring about him. Get what I'm saying?)
2. If you choose to really feel for everything you must accept the fact that you have to be strong in other to do that. If you're not you simply shouldn't and deal with that (This however is my very personal opinion. There are more than enough people who'll pit people like that and feel sorry for them and join in on their misery aswell as people who just have another opinion).
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They hate over such trivial things. Beliefs, religion, race, color, the list is endless. Mindless trivial things that don't really matter. Then there is the greed. Endless, bottomless, and never able to be satiated. Enough is never enough.
So what? I don't mean to sound cruel and cold or anything like that but that's simply human nature. Thank god the civilised people rise above those things (unfortunately there aren't enough of them). I however don't see how this is relevant to the subject "Feelings-are they worth it".
Look... If people choose to belive that they don't think feelings are worth it anymore because they had something terrible happen to them that's fine. Even when they've come to their senses again and should be able to realize that they can move on now they still choose to linger on and feel sorry forthemselves having lost all hope "feelings" that's fine too. That however is being "weak". Life isn't always fun but it would be horrible if it was... atleast I think so. So either people learn to deal with suffering/dramas/whatever negative may occur to you or they don't. If they do I think that is wonderful and shows that they have learned how to live in reality (it doesn't make them "strong" yet). If they don't learn to deal with these kind of situations (again after coming to their senses...that's the whole point)they are not ready for life which makes them "weak".
However if you chose to belive that shareing feelings for people isn't worth it you will find out that you are right. Unless you are very lucky to find a person who is patient enough to actually convice you of the oposite.
But if you chose to belive that it is worth it you will find out that you too are right. This time without luck and the help of others.
In the end it's all up to you. So I sincerly hope that your sorrow is only momentarily and what you wrote was because of you being overwhelmed by sorrow/pain/whatever negative emotion it was. If you weren't and were thinking clearly and you've chosen to belive that feelings aren't worth it I don't pity you what so ever. And I feel more sorry for the time I spent doing the explaining. Nevertheless I'm convinced that you aren't the one to whine about life and will come back to your senses. Right?
Oh and remember without love (feelings) you wouldn't exist...
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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Ceres
Supreme Hero
and sweetness
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posted March 15, 2008 12:00 PM |
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Quote:
I am beginning to wonder if having feelings is worth it. Especially for others. People grow tired of you, and leave. They take advantage of you, then once they are done, just walk away. Is it really worth it?
I've heard the arguements before. "When you find the right person." "Not everybody is like that." "You have to give love a chance."
Why? The few that are genuine and worth the effort, they end up dying. You have to sit and watch them waste away to nothing, and are powerless to stop it.
I envy people who don't care about others, who don't feel. People always tell me they envy me because I have a big heart. Unfortunately a big heart just has more room for pain. Is it worth it? Are people worth it?
They hate over such trivial things. Beliefs, religion, race, color, the list is endless. Mindless trivial things that don't really matter. Then there is the greed. Endless, bottomless, and never able to be satiated. Enough is never enough. Is it worth it? I don't know anymore.
No.
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And when the stars fall, I
will lie awake. You're my
shooting star.
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted March 15, 2008 12:02 PM |
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Oh... And that would be because....?
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted March 15, 2008 12:22 PM |
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Well, for a long time now (even when I was still in my teens), people called me 'Mama Becky'. I know it sounds weird. People knew they could come to me in times of need. Yeah, I was the 'responsible' one. Need a designated driver, call Becky. Jerk (or jerkette) break your heart? Call Becky. Need somebody to pick you up at 2am in the middle of nowhere, cause you wouldn't put out and some jerk kicked you out of the vehicle? Call Becky.
In all of that though, there was somebody I could rely on. Who had strength when I ran out. Now I'm running out of strength, and they have none to give, and I just don't know what to do. Facing the loss of a loved one is always tough. I get a little emo from time to time, and need to vent. I get over it though. The steel under the silk starts to show again.
Weird thing is I actually usually look on the positive side of things. I guess I have my moments though. Nothing to see here, move along 
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Message received.
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted March 15, 2008 01:01 PM |
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I am sorry for whatever happened. I have decided for some time now that not all are worth your help nor your concern. At best you can help people help themselves, more than that will let them think they can keep asking for aid even when they don't really need it. Eventually they drain your energy and enthusiasm and will give little to nothing in return. Many are also ungrateful and won't even recognize your efforts. So I just focus on the people I care for or seem to be in real need. There's still yourself to think about, don't let them turn you into a carpet to lay on.
I'll tell you one thing though. I am glad you have a rich emotional world, it's one of the reasons I like and respect you. Also I am sad that Ceres thinks that way even though that's hardly surprising. Everyone makes choices.
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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Momo
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted March 15, 2008 01:23 PM |
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I'll try to say it the best I can.
I understand very well your position because I fill a similar role with everyone I ever had a relationship of every sort with. Friends, girlfriends, team, school class, colleagues, and even my parents. If you were called "Mama Becky" let me tell you that fate wants that my nickname "Momo" shares the same origins with yours (it was "Mama", but I insisted for it to be changed into "Momo" because "Mama" sounded too feminine for a big guy like me).
I think that in the end it's all a problem of faith. Faith in your choices, I mean. I can mention a throng of situations where having feelings and caring for others put me in a horribly wrong situation; but I can mention also times where people made me feel needed, unique, and loved, and made me feel me more "real" than every jerk (or jerkette) the world will ever experience jerking around.
Let me tell you, Becky, that warm feeling filling you when you've been kind, when you cared, it's real. It's a moment of truth that can't be erased, even if the subject of your kindness proves himself/herself a total idiot or a double-faced bastard. You've been true, he/she didn't. But the beauty of that truth can be erased, can't be touched, can't be influenced by what people do. It's yours, it belongs to you, it defines who you are.
Feelings seems such an obvious thing. Talk with people, everyone has them. But most people feel in a very shallow, unresponsible or insignificant way. Having true, deep feelings is indeed an hard path.
So, like I said, it's a matter of faith in the end. Only you can decide if it's worth it, if you're proud of what you are. I think you should be.
I'm sorry I can't do better than this, Becky. Be strong.
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted March 15, 2008 02:08 PM |
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Haven't read anything except the first post (big posts scare me ), but for me the answer is: Hell, yeah! It's worth it!
Instead of trying to tame your feelings, tame your memory to remember the good things and not the bad. Train your perception of the world to see the fun in things and not sadness. Off course, every now and then you'll slip into a mild depression, but it happens to everyone.
As a bottom line, I've seen emilsn post a quote, might as well do the same:
"Always look on the bright side of life"
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted March 16, 2008 05:15 AM |
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I've had a rough time this last month, just had to vent mostly. My brother has went from a lively 6'0+ 300lb guy to a pale 6'0+ 119 lb scarecrow. It's been hard watching him just wither away, and be unable to do anything. Feeling more and more alone as each day passes.
I've had more then my share of problems. Chronic depression, Non-Alcoholic Straeto Hepititis, bad back ammong some. Yet I've managed to keep a positive outlook. Regardless of how I am feeling, I've always been there for those who've needed it. Lately though, around where I live when I look for help, it's not been there. My family helps .. a little. Some still harbor ill feelings against me, and that causes too much strain.
I've never attached any strings to my help, however, so they don't owe me anything. So I have to accept that I will have to face this mostly alone. Some of the people here have been great, and listened to me whine and moan. There is not much they can do, however.
Time to face the fact that I care too much, and can't do anything about it. Don't get me wrong, I could take anti-depresants and be one of the biggest jerk(ettes) on the planet. I just can't allow myself to be that way. Anyhow, sorry for venting, I know that it's not anybody's problem.
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Message received.
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted March 16, 2008 05:20 AM |
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A jerky outlook does not become you that's true. And I guess there is only so much we can do 
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted March 16, 2008 05:53 AM |
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No feelings aren't worth it.
Let's all be  for the rest of our lives and have no relationships.
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John says to live above hell.
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted March 16, 2008 05:56 AM |
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If it's worth it or not, having feelings is a part of life.
Being who you are once you figure out who you are, you have a real hard time chaging your feelings.
You cant help it.
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted March 16, 2008 08:02 AM |
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Edited by Azagal at 15:02, 16 Mar 2008.
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Quote:
So I have to accept that I will have to face this mostly alone. Some of the people here have been great, and listened to me whine and moan. There is not much they can do, however.
Then why are you burdening them with all your troubles?
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted March 16, 2008 08:08 AM |
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Well first off Azagal, you are free to ignore this tread altogether. I was venting. Second off, I really don't care what you think of me, think what you will.
Believe me when I say I am not a helpless damsel in distress, nor do I want anybody to 'rescue' me. Much like my poems and stories, this is an outlet, everybody needs one. Thing is, I put it somewhere where it will vanish after awhile. This was not on accident.
My appologies, but if you don't care, why bother asking why?
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Message received.
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted March 16, 2008 08:11 AM |
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When I was younger I used to just rant away.
I usually got no replies but i didnt care. I just enjoyed people reading it with no replies.
People just read how i felt & moved on.
Sometimes it's easiar to let things out on here then in the real life.
It's hard to like something when you do not understand it.
When you dont understand people tend to say the wrong things.
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted March 16, 2008 08:33 AM |
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Edited by Azagal at 08:34, 16 Mar 2008.
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Well first off Azagal, you are free to ignore this tread altogether.
Yes yes I know don't worry.
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I was venting.
That's all I wanted to know.
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Second off, I really don't care what you think of me, think what you will.
I'm not saying that you should.
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Believe me when I say I am not a helpless damsel in distress, nor do I want anybody to 'rescue' me.
Well sorry but to me you most certainly sounded like one. And I think the impression is not entirely unjustified if you read your posts.
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My appologies, but if you don't care, why bother asking why?
Because I wanted to know what I should think of you as I said before (I also said that you of course could feel free to ignore that questions as you have no obligation whatsoever to answer it).
EDIT: Besides I don't see wich part of my posts are overly agressive or acussing you of anything...
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted March 16, 2008 08:49 AM |
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Edited by Mytical at 08:52, 16 Mar 2008.
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Nor were my replies overly agressive or accuing you of anything.
Now I am an open person, I got tired of hiding who I was and what I thought a long time ago. People are free to ignore it or not, as they desire. My confusion comes when somebody tells me. "I don't care" then proceed to ask me questions about why I do something.
So I vent sometimes or rant. So what? Better then holding it in and letting it eat away. I am not holding a weapon to anybody's head and making them read or care. The VW has a habit of swollowing things, if left alone this thread would have vanished into the mists quickly. Just another forgotten page.
As for weak, we all have moments of weakness, even if not all of us recognize them. We have doubts and fears. I indeed have moments of weakness. Just as bravery is not the absence of fear, strength is not the absence of weakness. Don't let my momentary weakness bother you Azagal, as you said, you don't care. I am sure there are better things for you to do.
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Message received.
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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted March 16, 2008 08:57 AM |
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I'd rather it stay where it is William. As for height I am 6'. My brother is more like 6'3" (that is why I put 6'0"+ hehe, I am not exactly sure of his height). Come from a very large family both in height and number of people . My largest family member is 6'9" 250 lbs (and solid muscle to boot). We all call him Tiny.
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Message received.
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted March 16, 2008 09:12 AM |
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Well even if you were straight I guess I am out of it
Most women like men taller. I dont how they like thier women, maybe it depends. Or maybe they like similar hieghts.
Point is I lose
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Dreaming of a Better World
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