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gorman
Promising
Legendary Hero
Been around since before 2003
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posted May 04, 2003 10:18 PM |
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*drops a water balloon on Silx*
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When all else fails... Take notes.... ALL the time... ESPECIALLY when playing D&D.... or Pokemon in my case
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silx87
Supreme Hero
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posted May 05, 2003 05:59 AM |
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Hey cut that out!U know I still have mah 3255 grenades in mah pocket!Howsabout I drop one on u!
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted May 05, 2003 02:53 PM |
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That will be pretty difficult considering we are above you.
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Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 05, 2003 06:21 PM |
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<Our heroine, having fled from Battle-of-the-Sexes, has been lost and wandering for weeks now. Wrapped in the Gootch's cloak now dragging along the ground, both it and her tattered bare feet are caked with mud, and soaking wet from the recent spring rains. She stumbles along the muddy path near the stream, tripping periodically on the too-long cape, muttering to herself, shivering...>
(mutter mutter) *** **** Gootch (mutter mutter) ******* armor ******* snakes (very sarcastic mutter) It's all about Gootch's ******* crotch now isn't it?!? (mutter mutter...)
<Then, she finally sees New Shop in the distance....>
(Peacemaker sighs and sobs in a single breath) Oh Gaughd, finally!
<Our heroine breaks into a stumbling run up the hill away from the streambank, then pauses briefly at the door of New Shop to compose herself, pulling the hood of the cloak over her hair and smoothing the cloak as best as she can...>
<Peacemaker enters the shop and peers from the hood carefully to see if there is anyone about without exposing her identity...>
"Hello?" (she queries with as androgenous a voice as she can muster while still shivering)
____________
I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted May 05, 2003 06:50 PM |
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Welcome...oh my. Can I get you a towel or somthing? You look like you were tied to a caravan and dragged through the mud. Come in, Come in. Conn has not been around in quite some time so the shop was left in my care. I there is anything at all I can get you please do not hesitate to ask.
*at the same, time water baloons come flying through the door and hit Mighty Mage in the face following with a laugh from Silx.*
Godamn you Silx. GET BACK HERE.
*Silx pulls the pin off one of his gernades*
Oh $hit!
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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gorman
Promising
Legendary Hero
Been around since before 2003
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posted May 05, 2003 07:51 PM |
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*gorman saves Mighty Mage by casting a "Sticky hands" spell on Silx. Instead of being blown up, MM finds that Silx is screaming, "OH SHI*!!!" At the top of his lungs and waving his stuck-to-a-grenade hand all over the place trying to free it*
*drops another waterballoon on Silx*
LOL 
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When all else fails... Take notes.... ALL the time... ESPECIALLY when playing D&D.... or Pokemon in my case
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 05, 2003 11:09 PM |
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<Peacemaker ducks>
Oh, gaughd, here we go again....
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 08, 2003 12:21 AM |
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<With the fray having died down a bit, Peacemaker stands once again, peering cautiously from behind the hood of Gootch's cape. She glances back and forth to make certain there are no others about who may recognize her or the Gootch's cloak.>
Yes, a, MightMage, I'll be needing a new set of armour, you know the Water-Elf type made for females...size 6 tall if you will... --and a changing chamber, and I'll also need this cloak cleaned --
Oh, and while you're at it, throw in one of those big Polar Bear suits you have hanging back there behind the counter...
Say, and, do you have any strap-on units that would fit around that Polar Bear suit???
Say, uh, how much will all of that cost???
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted May 08, 2003 05:52 PM |
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Quote:
<With the fray having died down a bit, Peacemaker stands once again, peering cautiously from behind the hood of Gootch's cape. She glances back and forth to make certain there are no others about who may recognize her or the Gootch's cloak.>
Yes, a, MightMage, I'll be needing a new set of armour, you know the Water-Elf type made for females...size 6 tall if you will... --and a changing chamber, and I'll also need this cloak cleaned --
Oh, and while you're at it, throw in one of those big Polar Bear suits you have hanging back there behind the counter...
Say, and, do you have any strap-on units that would fit around that Polar Bear suit???
Say, uh, how much will all of that cost???
*Mighty Mage thinks to himself (dare I ask?)*
I tell you what, you look like you had a hard day, it's on the house. If you'd like to stay for dinner I can cook a mean Behemoth stew.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 08, 2003 07:23 PM |
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Oh, thank you so much, kind sir... This land is new to me, you know, and it can be quite hostile and strange, but also so rich with sweetness at times...
<Peacemaker, long accustomed to roadkill, sits at the table and partakes of the stew finding it warm and delicious....The Gootch crosses her mind...
<Startled by a sudden lump in her throat (not caused by the strew,) Peacemaker tries to quell a backhanded longing by turning her attention to other things... Standing with a hunk of bread in her hand, Peacemaker wanders about the Shop, nibbling the crust, casually looking around at the goods. She then spies a posting for "Positions Open" at the Temple of Worship tacked on the Shop's wall. Alongside it is a Notice of Party, frayed and darkened about the edges, over a year old.>
Say, did I ask how much all this is going to cost? Do you know anything about these positions at the Temple place? Are they still open? Was the party lovely????
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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SirDunco
Responsible
Supreme Hero
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posted May 08, 2003 07:26 PM |
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*walks in*
ummm...what's the good smell here?
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted May 08, 2003 09:41 PM |
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Oh, Hey Dunco. Have a seat, I just made some Behemoth Stew. Go ahead and grab a bowl.
And yes, the party was good. Wow, that was some time ago. Good Times, Good Times. Say, where did you get that cloak? *Mighty Mage feels he's seen it somewhere before* If you'd like we can find somthing a little more nice...and clean.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 09, 2003 12:37 AM |
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Oh, uh, well... I borrowed it, uh, from... you know... a friend....
<the lump returns to Peacemaker's throat and she begins to mist up>
(Dammit... why does he get to me so????)
I'm sorry... <chokes> it's just that I haven't seen him in a.... well, we didn't part on the best of terms last time we, uh.... you know... I wasn't very kind to him I guess...
<Peacemaker turns to the wall pretending to mind the job listings posted there once again until she recovers her composure>
Yes -- and I'll need this cloak cleaned, but if you have that size 6 suit of armour...????
(To Sir Dunco)
Say there, my young sir, haven't we met before???
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted May 09, 2003 02:52 AM |
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*Takes cloak from the stranger* Hey, I've seen you before. Wern't you the one that was hanging around the Gootch? Oh what is your name...Peace somthing right?
I'll get this washed up right away.
Here's the armour you were looking for. It should be the right size. Since you have had a hard day, I'll give it to you for 50 silver. A very good price.
____________
Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 09, 2003 07:53 PM |
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This looks to be just right -- but wait! Don't take the cloak as it is all I have right at the moment --
Do you have a changing chamber in the back??? -- and say, can I try the Polar Bear suit whilst I am in there???
<Peacemaker slips into the back to change, her voice continuing from behind the curtain>
And yes, you've seen me hanging around the Gootch but, well, he's sort-of -- avoiding me right at the moment....
You see, I left him with a, well a sort-of "ereptile dysfunction" last we met over in Battle of the Sexes... Can't blame him for avoiding me like he is...
____________
I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 09, 2003 08:34 PM |
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<Hears the Gootch walk in -- Peacemaker's heavy heart suddenly leaps with excitement, then she realizes -->
(Oh$$$HI**** --)
(whispers with quick, crisp desperation --) PSSST! Quick! MightyMage! TAKE THIS --
<tries to toss the Gootch's cloak over the curtain to MightyMage>
(still whispering) --and the unit!!!! Toss me the unit QUICK!!!!
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted May 09, 2003 09:14 PM |
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<Creeping up to the shop, our hero hears the unmistakable babbling shrill that is Peacemaker's voice>
"Ooh, I'm gonna fix her real good this time," he mumbles to himself.
<He roots through his pockets...looking for the Angel Guardian scroll>
"Aha! Yeah, what now biznatch?"
<He peers at it...not making heads or tails of the esoteric writing. Scratching his head, he turns it upside down>
"Nope, that doesn't work either. Doh! Damn you Conn! You knew I didn't know how to read this gibberish! You scum. You scoundrel. You jerkwheat! From now on, I'm using potions."
<He storms into the shop...brushing past MightyMage rather...mightily. Throwing the curtain open, he spots a half-naked Peacemaker trying to armor herself up>
"Whoops, seems like I caught you at a bad time. Here, let me help you with that."
<Grabbing her armored gauntlet, he smacks her across the face with one hand and shuts the curtains with another>
"Now that we've got some privacy...it's payback time."
*Kick, thud, smack, armor clanking, scream, laughter*
<These are the only sounds emnating from the room. Picking up her breastplate and dumping it on her head, our hero starts to see red>
"I don't know why you got one of these here anatomically correct pieces. You don't even have a rack! And...since I can't use this...maybe you can."
<He takes the Angel Guardian scroll and stuffs it into her mouth.>
"It's for your own good anyway. Noone wants to hear you scream."
<With an almost inhuman strength gathered from years of torture and abuse at the hands of she-devils, he spins her around and hops on her back>
"So, you wanna flirt with the big boys, do you?"
<He pulls out a garrotte made from his favorite break-dance shoelaces. Wrapping it around her oh-so delicate throat, he begins to squeeze and tighten.>
"Apologize!"
<There is only muffled defiance. The curtain swings open with Mightymage standing right at the entrance, a look of shock and horror on his face that quickly turns to grimness.>
"Hey, you friggin scab. I thought I told you I needed privacy. Can't you see I'm getting married?"
<He proceeds to strangle Peacemaker till he gets pulled off. And pulled off he shall be...>
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted May 09, 2003 09:51 PM |
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Walks in with he pet Polar bear Snowy
WHOA snowy calm down you'll get to great your old buddy soon enough
looking around , trying to spot Gootchie, when suddenly Snowy's leash breaks and she runs to the back of the store where after a few seconds the chilling cries of Gootch can be heard
Hi hun. I brought you a pressie wessie 
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The darkest skies show the brightest stars
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted May 09, 2003 10:26 PM |
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<The Polar Bear lifts the curtain with its huge wet snout to find Peacemaker calmly sitting against the wall, leaning on one knee, taking a long, slow drag off a cigarette as the Gootch straightens his chain mail...>
____________
I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted May 09, 2003 10:29 PM |
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<As our hero prepares to construct the 'Dear John' letter in his head, a horrible snorting is heard behind him. He doesn't even have to turn around to know that his Moriarty has returned. The bear snorts...huffs...and roars in anger at seeing his twice escaped meal back in his shop>
"Nooooo...not again!"
<The first smacking sound comes from 2 tons of angry polar bear striking our hero...causing him to fly out of Peacemaker's arms. The second comes from the hero crashing up against the wall of the changing room.>
"Owwww! Damn! What does it take to make you leave me alone?"
<The bear rises up on its 2 hind legs, and while raking our hero's face with his claws...speaks?!>
"More than you got punk! I'm gonna eat you once and for all!"
<Miraculously, the armor protected the hero from the shots that would have killed lesser men. He hops to his feet and does his best Ben Johnson impression. A white man so fleet of foot, the world would never see again.>
<Panting and wheezing, he climbs on top of a building. Discarding his now useless armor, he plots his next move...>
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