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| Thread: Peasant Fantasies | |
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Nebdar
Promising
Supreme Hero
Generation N
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posted February 16, 2009 08:39 PM |
bonus applied by Elvin on 18 Feb 2009. |
Edited by Nebdar at 01:07, 26 Feb 2009.
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Peasant Fantasies
My Peasant Fantasies
The Griffin Empire has very long thought about how to make from peasants good use on the battlefield. This is the ideas that they came up with:
Peasant Launcher - the first idea, because the peasant are too slow and lazy on the battlefield the engieniers figuerd out how to improve it. The new idea was involved with tieing the peasant or group of 2-3 peasants with the balista missle so they can be transported right there where are needed, mostly behind the enemys walls. Of course the resoult of such idea was an disaster, most of the peasant where killed right after there landed, or ended as wet, bloody stain on the wall. The Necromancers called this weapon an Manna form Heaven. The idea is used only when transporting an important messages. It is called P.I.T.I.F.U.L.(Peasant.Instantantenious.Transport.Invented.For.Urgent.Letters)
Peasant with Wife
- thats right with wife. Adding wife to the peasent has unlocked the new special activated ability. The peasant can lose one turn to be with his wife, alone  . After that on second turn the wife returns with fresh new peasant son, reinforcing the army. This ability can be used infinite number of times but not always with the same results . The main problem with this solution was the support and provisions problem for the army. It is known that once on one of the military camaign, the army before it has arraived at enemys gate founded new 10 villiages to reduce growing peasant problem. Of course the wife it self is an problem that most of peasants conscripts have joined the army just to escape from babbleing, complaining wifes. Not to mention that many times peasants where very tired doing ALL husband duties. Some joined the army just because to run from them.
Fat Peasant
- now this is an geniouses idea. Put a fat peasant on the battle field, and by saying fat i meanFat. What does the fat peasant do on the battlefield, oh it has unique abilities. First Fat shield wall, it absorbes 80 % damage like Arcane shield or Raging blood. For second the peasant doesn't attack the enemy it eat's it stealing the same HP points as he has in fat, so doubling it's fat in the process(the more he eats the more hungry it becomes ). The more he eats the bigger it grows, the more fat it has the more tiles it occupies. Also The fat reduces ranged damage by 80 % . It is so fat that it can not move during the battle or can't be moved after it. Of course that cause a lot of problem so the poor peasant was left behind when the battle ended. Most of them died on the battlefield because heart attacks or digestion problems or other illnes, of course the dead fat peasant was still valuable fat wall on battlefield. This strategy proved to be the most effective in The Holy Griffin Empire Anti Fat Program, nobody wanted to end like those poor bastards. Good for them but not for army because this unit was a real monster on the battlefield
Bad Luck Peasant
- there are sometimes people that have gigantic bad luck streak and can't get rid of it, all the bad things and stuff happen to them. Because of the Bad Luck magnetism ability they could be used to suck the bad luck from whole army when they sufferd such curse. Great Idea but the problem was with the bad luck peasant, mostly they died in wierd acidents and even they survived some how to the first battle, guess what... they where killed first by an suprise misfortune. Sometimes their bad luck caused much damage to War Machines or the Army it self. Such an peasant is lethal weapon but still the wisemen don't know how to use it against enemy ONLY 
Lucky Peasant
- the opposite of the upper one. This peasant has soo much luck that it sometimes passes to others. But.... there is an but(peasant But* probelm  ),how to control such an ability efficently ?. Because every luck peasant quickly advanced to higher military ranks or discovered an artifact or treasure, even one has become an King of Griffin Empire You can not control someones luck it seems.
Peasant Ugly Doughter
- with ugly daughters there is an problem that no one wants to marry them when she passes the time when she should live her parents home. Hey why not use it in battle. The first trails where succesfull, all human opponents where running in fear. And thats the only good news. Other factions where imunne to such an actions . Poor girls 
Peasant Beautiful Daughter
- oooch yeah. The beautiful seducers where ment to be used to seduce the enemy and they where good in it, tasty good. Now all of them have a husband, home and life far from Army reality. The shortest peasant experiment ever, but very intersting one
Peasant Pacifist Sacrificer
- Make Peace Not War, The Wars Can Be Avoided, they say. So the Griffin Empire gave them an chance to prove that on the battlefield. Every tiem the ally unit standing next to them was target for an melee/ranged attack they throw themsleves to block and absorb the incoming damage screaming Make Peace Not War. On average they absorbed 80% of damage. After a few battles the Pacicfist where extinct. May they Rest in Peace(s)
Peasant Joker
- The one that knows many good, juicy jokes and do many stupid thing to make the other laugh. The prove to be valubale asset because they raised the army morale before and in the battle. But they where poor fighters and oftenly they did something stupid that made them die like flyies. War is not a joke it's real man
Superman Peasant
- yes they exist . They came from outer space, they are very hard to kill, strong, have laser cannon in eyes and has an mind and intelligence of the peasant. Not to bright but good for any fight. It's weakness was quickly discoverd by enemys, the famous Krypton Artifact. Now every Hero one has a piece of it hidden somewhere just in case. This weapon put an end to the Superman Peasants..... and the film series
Radiated Peasant
- the discovery of Krypton Artifact has lead to discovery radioactive Artifacts. The first victims of lethal radiation was peasants fo course . Not only the died a horrible and painful death but even caused the same illness to those who wasn't exposed to main radioactive artifact. The testing project was almost put to end when the war geniuses developed an idea. Put the Peasant on the battlefield and in two square radius all units will be affected with decay spell. That sounded nice but the problem was with finding the test subjects and how to transport them to the fight without damaging own troops. Lead Safes prove to be the best to contain the radiation but not keep poor peasant alive. ahh you can have all they say.
Stinking Peasant
- This is an simple idea take peasant, order him to work in the most smelliest, dirtiest work and forbid the baths and in matter of months you have Stinking peasant. The power of such an odour is worse then Skunk aroma. It caused to any one who dare to be close unconsciousness, nausea or they just where runing as far as they can. No creature with an nose couldn't stand that smell. They where untouchable in close combat. But... there is always a but they have understand their power and influence and started to abuse their "powers". The order from High command was simple shoot and kill all peasants and every peasant must take one bath in a month. YYeeey
Depressed Peasant - always complaining, always being pesymistic, without life, sad, there something wrong always . The simple presence of such an guy suck all positive enregy from you. So so when puted in the army the morale of it has tragically run down and only expierienced leaders could handle with the mood of men. But on battlefield it is brilliant in reducing the morale of enemy but only the good factions because of their empathy the evil ones seem to be more encouraged to fight. Project rated as:Secret weapon, use only when the good guys will turn against us.
Peasant Jekyl and Monster Hyde
- a.k.a. suprise peasant . There is an mystery how they bacame such things but it happens 1 out of million chance that peasant borns with this ability. When it is hited hard or made  it turns in to an monster that looks like Cyclops and hits like Cyclops. If you could see the suprised attackers when they where confident that this peasant is easy kill, and then suprise and wham . They stayed confused for a turn. So what when wrong the only one speciment died in an freak accident. The Griffin Empire waits for another...
Overgrown Peasant Bully
- Tall as a tree wide as a mountain they say about those kind. The large, and brutal creature, the enemys call it sometime beautiful troll. Stupid and ressistant as troll but far much better looking. Of course it's inteliligence, the lack of it makes it more liale to mind affecting spell, and especially frenzy witch is boosted with additional 25% more damage. Project susspended, until mind ressitance is developed.
Peasant Cowboy
- some work on farms and some raise cattle. These peasants where interesting because of their special ability could make cattle to run and trample all in 3 square wide tunnel one time in the battle, and of course the lasso trick when peasants can make completely immobile the whole creature stack if they have more HP then the enemy. But there is no Wild West any more not so many are cowboys these day, and there where always some herd losseswhen trample ability was used. Project to expensive.
Mechanical Peasant Golem
- tired with all the lazy, weak, stupid peasants. The Wizards Golem Workshop Corp has presented an military offer to produce golem peasant. It will work all day and all night will never complain, and be completely obedient, stronger, immune to diseases, magic proof, can be repaired easilly but it will not pay taxes, and that hurt mostly the great lords of Griffin Empire. The offer was rejected because of high costs of offer and maintenance. only the rich could afford some.
Chatterbox Peasant - they talk and talk, talk talk and don't forget that they can talk all the time, on every topic and they never grow tired of talking, they get some sleep though(thanks the makers). Put them on battlefield and they will confuse every enemy that will dare to listen to them, some fall asleep, some are confused, some are trying to argue with them forgeting about the whole world. The super distraction weapon, but ....they talk them selfs out of it . It is hard to convince with words someone who only talks and never listen.
All projects have failed and we are left to command an simple peasants.
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted February 16, 2009 08:46 PM |
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THIS is the true super peasant Haven't read it all, will check back later.
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Asheera
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Elite Assassin
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posted February 16, 2009 09:45 PM |
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ROFL!
Funny stuff! ^^
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Nebdar
Promising
Supreme Hero
Generation N
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posted February 17, 2009 12:25 AM |
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Thanks Asheera
Yes Elvin that is Super peasant post
It has been in my head tooo long and i had to get it out. The only thing I need is some pictures.... and it will be completed.
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zamfir
Promising
Supreme Hero
Allez allez allez
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posted February 17, 2009 07:07 PM |
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This tbread is vaguely familiar.
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5 Times TV
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Nebdar
Promising
Supreme Hero
Generation N
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posted February 17, 2009 11:18 PM |
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Yes Zamfir i have been inspired by your thread, the Peasant Laucher mainly .
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted February 18, 2009 12:45 AM |
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On that note what kind of sick people fantasize about peasants?
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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Nebdar
Promising
Supreme Hero
Generation N
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posted February 18, 2009 06:56 AM |
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Edited by Nebdar at 06:56, 18 Feb 2009.
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ooo sick no it is just my type of sense of humor or you are referin to my curent state yes i had some mild fever back then.
For me it is funny to think what those poor peasants had to do to make their Lords happy.
Thanks for QP
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razor5
Famous Hero
Freezing...
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posted February 18, 2009 03:16 PM |
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Good and funny I want to be this abilities also in the game
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Nebdar
Promising
Supreme Hero
Generation N
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posted February 26, 2009 01:08 AM |
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thanks razor5
More pictures
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razor5
Famous Hero
Freezing...
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posted February 26, 2009 01:22 PM |
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Wow! It's much funny now  
But I don't understand why the Mechanical Golem is a type of peasant?
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted February 26, 2009 02:03 PM |
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I don't understand why most are even considered peasants.
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Map also hosted on Moddb
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Nebdar
Promising
Supreme Hero
Generation N
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posted February 26, 2009 02:44 PM |
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@ Elvin You born in peasant faimliy you are peasant.... it so simple Fedual way
@Razor5 - imagination is the key to understand
It is the purpose to be so silly and stupid that it would make you laugh My kind of sense of humor
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necromance
Hired Hero
Town Pillager
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posted June 01, 2010 09:28 PM |
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is this a joke
if it is coooooooooooooooooool
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Ta_cha_qua
Tavern Dweller
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posted August 02, 2010 05:51 PM |
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You Knnow I think that they used the first idea on the stronghold, but one difference, its one of the creatures that throw the weakest monster at the other team not a war machine
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[url=http://dragcave.net/view/tr6l] [/url]
*click* see i did. now will you do it too.
[url=http://dragcave.net/view/5hgi][img]http://dragcave.net/image/5h... too long to display...
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