Warlord
Famous Hero
Lord of Image Spam
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posted July 02, 2010 03:50 AM |
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Quote:
Welcome, spiderlings, oh humble larvae of Asha,
Hatch from the hard-crusted eggs of ignorance and enter the unholy mausoleum of the hidden truth. Leave behind your material posessions and climb the cold stone steps of our eldritch construction. Close your eyes, breath deeply, feel the unnatural cold of Heresh drip down your spines. Let the smell of turned earth and humid fog fill your lungs and blur your thoughts. See the distant flickering lights of the ignis fatuus and hear the painful lament of the crows.
Now cross the dark ossuary to your left and follow the fickle flames of the distant wax candles. My voice will grow deeper in your head, that means you are nearer. Just a couple more steps... thats it. You made it. Your cowardly hearts are now still, and fear is just a distant memory. You confusion and anxiety have vanished. Your earthly body has just took the last gasp for air. YOU ARE DEAD.
But you came nonetheless, you faced the dark passage and you proceeded with courage. You deserve the chance reserved for the worthy. You deserve a glimpse to the hidden truth.
NOW. Be presented to the five great misteries of the NECROPOLIS. The one of you wise enough to understand and find the correct answers to the misteries shall be granted a way back to your bodies and leave this place. The rest of you, shall lie underneath this very mausoleum... forever.
First: Why all skeletons, even the most advanced ones only get ONE BOOT?
Second: As if zombies were not slow enough by nature, we go and pick the FAT ONES ot top of it all. Why?
Third: Why bother to put helms on specters when they get upgraded if they are ETHEREAL?
Fourth: Why liches use those ridiculously large dresses even when that means they are going to take up four squares and clog the whole battlefield?
Fifth: What awful crime do you have to commit in life in order to return from the dead as a GLOWING PINK BANSHEE?
Think well... the hourglass is a cruel opponent.
Why all skeletons, even the most advanced ones only get ONE BOOT?
Because they all sold their boots, to get more skeletons with that money, who will than sell more boots. Yep, that's the REAL reason there are always tons of skeletons.
As if zombies were not slow enough by nature, we go and pick the FAT ONES ot top of it all. Why?
Their blubber protects them from any potential harm and damage.
Why bother to put helms on specters when they get upgraded if they are ETHEREAL?
So they have a back-up in case they rune of of Etheral batteries...
Why liches use those ridiculously large dresses even when that means they are going to take up four squares and clog the whole battlefield?
To create the feeling that they are bigger and better than everyone else.
What awful crime do you have to commit in life in order to return from the dead as a GLOWING PINK BANSHEE?
Hunt Wraiths.
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