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| Thread: Political Science Explained with Cows | |
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blizzardboy
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted December 18, 2010 04:31 AM |
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Political Science Explained with Cows
DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year and die of lung cancer from smoking lots of tax-free Polish cigarettes.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
SCANDINAVIAN CORPORATION
You have four cows, eight billion trunks of lumber, twenty billion carts of coal, and a trillion barrels of oil.
Your population protests about the evils of hording riches. The world looks back at you with a confused look on its face.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find
alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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SwampLord
Supreme Hero
Lord of the Swamp
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posted December 18, 2010 06:37 AM |
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Italian one cracked me up the most.
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They can take my swamp, they can take my town, but they will never take my FREEDOM!
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted December 18, 2010 07:10 AM |
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SWISS CORPORATION
You have 500 cows
None of which are yours
INDIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You worship them
BRITISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
Both are mad
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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blizzardboy
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted December 18, 2010 04:30 PM |
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Quote:
SWISS CORPORATION
You have 500 cows
None of which are yours
INDIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You worship them
BRITISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
Both are mad
Lame.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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markkur
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
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posted December 18, 2010 05:46 PM |
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Pretty funny. Makes me ask what would the independant look like?
"'They' tell me I have 2 Cows. I feed and water them, pay for their shots and lot but I've never seen them."
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"Do your own research"
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