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| Thread: Why is it... |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 · «PREV |
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Zenofex
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posted April 13, 2011 12:46 AM |
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It's a student hostel actually and the walls are very thin. It's a sign of respecting your neighbour's privacy. 
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Fauch
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posted April 13, 2011 01:12 AM |
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we are talking about crying, not yelling or punching walls
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JollyJoker
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posted April 13, 2011 07:57 AM |
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Quote:
Quote:
Let's assume, as a simple working hypothesis, that the more effort you put in controlling an urge to cry the stronger the urge you CAN control. In practise this means, that a comparatively small pain - shallow knife cut, small burn, headache, or, for different stimuli, bad (school) test result, hearing that a beloved one has a small accident - is comparatively easy to control, while the heavier stuff needs more and more effort.
Question: While it makes sense to control the minimum stuff, isn't there a point somewhere, when A LOT more effort is needed to control the urge (which will keep you from focussing on the problem at hand) than simply give in to the urge and be done with it, or, in other words, when crying not only is easier, but the better way to finally focus on the problem at hand as well?
This entirely depends on whether you allow the emotional side of some problem to affect you or not and how strong is your "emotional involvement" in any of a given number of situations (say, as many as life can supply). Not everyone feel the same "urge" and thus not everyone can be told to "let it go". For situations when this "urge" is overwhelming, it depends on whether you can allow yourself to give in immediately or not. If it's an emergency, then drowning into your sorrow or whatever will not help anyone so the control is a must. If it's not and you have a very good reason - that's quite different from "my life is pathetic because I failed on the last exam" cases because you can't really allow yourself to go emotional for all the disappointments that you generously encounter on daily basis as this will render you unproductive and is quite likely to depress the other people who give a damn about you - then I guess nobody can blame you for crying.
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If you cry there at the doctors side, you will at the least have less stress on your shoulders.
What stress? The certainty is not stressful. At least for me but honestly I can't really tell how I will react if they tell me that I'll die in X days/months/years. At this point I find the thought curious but that's now.
This lengthy post doesn't provide an answer to the question - it avoids one.
Also, with you humans seem to be split personalities: Quote:
whether you allow the emotional side of some problem to affect you or not
This is... well. I'd say, this is a pretty useless start of a post. You don't have the ability to allow emotions to affect you - if you had, you were not a human, but a cold emotionless snow. You cannot switch emotions on and off or that a problem affects you emotionally. You can, however, bottle things up, control the urge to cry, keep a straight face - try to keep the head above the emotional waters in which you swim.
Example: You are 14 or 15. You have your first real girl friend, and you feel in love, like never before. Three weeks into the game your girl friend is seen holding hands with another guy. You ask her what's the matter, and she tells you with plain words, that it's over.
You don't have the ability to avoid being emotionally affected by this. Sure, you WILL NOT cry publicly in this situation - you won't allow her or anyone else the satisfaction to see HOW STRONGLY you are emotionally affected -, but you definitely ARE affected and will be for some time to come.
Still - I see no answer to my question. Sorry.
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Zenofex
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posted April 13, 2011 09:10 AM |
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Edited by Zenofex at 09:11, 13 Apr 2011.
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I think the answer was pretty straight-forward but as obviously you "can't see" and the semantics are too important for you, I'll rephrase. Once.
First, I'm not talking about "the abilities to allow the emotions to affect you or not" at all but about that every single human feels different emotions - quantitatively and qualitatively - in the different situations and you can't really use a common denominator as much as you want. So this is not about "split personalities" but about the fact that human beings differ emotionally. Using your last example - some just don't fall in love so deeply to feel destroyed when the partner leaves you or always remains distant while others might even commit suicide. The former are human beings just as much as the latter and if you don't like it... well, send a formal complaint to the universe.
Second, if you feel a great urge to start crying, like I said, you have to take into account the immediate situation. If feeling sorry for yourself instead of acting during the time which you otherwise will waste crying will make the things even worse, then yes, you do deserve to be frowned upon as you give in to the pressure of the moment and disregard the future - your own, of the people who you feel close, etc. That's irresponsible and spoiled. Doing it on regular basis and bringing other people down is pretty much the same. So the point is that you have to make an attempt and not just to indulge your needs to "release the pain" or whatever. If you get overwhelmed anyway, then you simply have passed beyond the threshold and that's it.
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JollyJoker
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posted April 13, 2011 10:01 AM |
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I still don't see an answer. An answer is a yes or a no with a slight explanation why yes or no. That you avoid.
That ssaid, I've always wondered, how people can point to everyone being different and doing things in their personal way - thereby refuting another point declared as "too general", and in the next moment declare something else as generally and universally this or that.
Anyway, since I disagree not only with what you say, but also with the way you say it and with your attitude, I refrain from further "discussion".
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Zenofex
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Kreegan-atheist
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posted April 13, 2011 12:35 PM |
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Pardon my expression, sir, I'll try using upper cases every few sentences and arrange my thesis like a mentor who's reading a lecture to poor students to make the whole thing more readable for the general public and you in particular.
If you still think that I haven't answered you, then what we've got here is a failure to communicate.
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