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| Thread: An Explanation |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · «PREV |
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Nocturnal
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted November 30, 2011 06:25 PM |
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Tnx people.
DF, I hope you now understand why I'd tell a person I met new that I'm gay as one of the first things. I'd really want it to be a thing that wouldn't matter for anyone, then wouldn't feel that need to say it.
It'll change Gnomes, I hope so at least. Cause I'll move from this country in less than 2 years if plans go accordingly.
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted November 30, 2011 07:34 PM |
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Being obsessed at such point with your "difference" will only cause people run away from you. I would be very cautious if someone I freshly meet would tell me at first about his sexual preferences, no matter whatever they are.
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Era II mods and utilities
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Nocturnal
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted November 30, 2011 07:44 PM |
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Quote:
Being obsessed at such point with your "difference" will only cause people run away from you. I would be very cautious if someone I freshly meet would tell me at first about his sexual preferences, no matter whatever they are.
Of course it not "Hi, I'm Hakan." "Nice to meet you, I'm gay."
It's like in several hours I should give a hint. Which normally would happen anyway, as with friends, the conversation always gets to the relationships. And if he doesn't get cold suddenly, I understand there will be no problem about the issue, and get relieved.
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Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted November 30, 2011 07:50 PM |
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Noc, didn't you say that people in your country get killed for their sexual preferences?  I don't think it's prudent to disclose your sexuality in such an enviroment, walls have ears you know. I'm not saying that you should keep it a secret, but caution is advisable.
Edit: Answered already >.>
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"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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Salamandre
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Wog refugee
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posted November 30, 2011 07:56 PM |
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I don't know about other, but here where I live people get embarrassed when told about very private life. While such discussions may rise naturally when friendship is already solid, bringing them before they know you well is just a bad move. They will step back, you will claim they are homophobic, while the whole thing is about tact. A friendship takes months or years to be build.
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Era II mods and utilities
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted November 30, 2011 08:16 PM |
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I would be embarrassed by any sexual life details of a freshly met person. It's like, ok dude, I don't care what you do in bed, why do you tell me?
this includes sexual preference info. I-just-don't-care.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 30, 2011 08:35 PM |
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I met such a person several weeks ago. I had never seen him before, we talked for half an hour and I learnt that he was gay, as well as everything about his sexual life, and he wanted to invite me to do some things... weirdly I suddenly realized I had something very urgent to do 
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Nocturnal
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted November 30, 2011 09:14 PM |
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Quote:
I met such a person several weeks ago. I had never seen him before, we talked for half an hour and I learnt that he was gay, as well as everything about his sexual life, and he wanted to invite me to do some things... weirdly I suddenly realized I had something very urgent to do
And @Sal and DF: Of course mine is not like that. I'd just imply I'm gay that's it; no other private thing. That person you've met just liked you obviously. But sharing bed secrets to get some intimacy is bad. I've met several girls to do that to me. I felt embarresed on their behalf.
@Tsar-Ivor: Well, I don't think that person would go to places and tell about me everywhere. And he decides to kill me, well, my friends woudn't introduce me to that kind. And of course I do keep it a secret in formal places, or in places I don't know anyone. I just do that if I'm introduced by some friends, being sure the worst he can do is not liking me because of it.
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted November 30, 2011 09:28 PM |
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Noc, its been a great read, but you really do not need to define yourself by your sexuality. Your sexuality, whether it be bi, hetero or homosexual, is totally normal. We are what we are. No one is inferior or superior because of their sexual orientation, just as no one is inferior or superior because of color, creed, sex or social position. You obviously have a personality, you are not just the sum of your sexual orientation (as big an impact in your life as it is). You are much more.
I grew up in London, where the attitudes are far more liberal (Thank the Lord) regarding all manner of people's choices/social traditions/lifestyle choices/religions etc, but no matter what .. how liberal or understanding a place/group is, you will always have people who do not agree with you. And that is their choice and its as valid as your's and mine.
Oppression has no place in modern society, but it will always exist somehow, no matter how educated we try to become. Women, children, homosexuals, Blacks, Asians etc are discriminated against every day.
The reality is .. all we really need is toleration. Good natured tolerance. We can understand and educate so far. But ultimately, we are allowed our own opinions, desires and reasoning. When reading your brief life history above, I was truly saddened by the Bordello situation. I'm sure your mother and father love you dearly, but this was so wrong. It was a horrible thing for you have to go through. It is akin to what these poor underage girls have to go through when married off to men they have never met. Unfortunately you have had a similar experience - forced sexual experience.
However, you sound like an intelligent and sensitive man. I really wish the best for you. But as other's have said, if being homosexual in Turkey could mean being beaten to death, please take care with whom you say things too.
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 30, 2011 10:27 PM |
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Quote:
And @Sal and DF: Of course mine is not like that. I'd just imply I'm gay that's it; no other private thing. That person you've met just liked you obviously. But sharing bed secrets to get some intimacy is bad. I've met several girls to do that to me. I felt embarresed on their behalf.
well, but that was girls. and were they like 20 years older than you (and fat)?
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted November 30, 2011 10:58 PM |
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Quote:
I met such a person several weeks ago. I had never seen him before, we talked for half an hour and I learnt that he was gay, as well as everything about his sexual life, and he wanted to invite me to do some things... weirdly I suddenly realized I had something very urgent to do
Wonder if you would have reacted the same way if it had been a girl.
Anyway, I've been laying somewhat low on this subject since the whole incident yesterday, and just wanted to say that I hope Nocs OP here is a wake-up call for how offensive things like being labeled as subject of 'a disorder' can be, even if the poster didn't intend it that way, so always choose your words wisely before posting.
I myself was kind of shocked that so many members here could actually take the whole disorder thing seriously. I would expect a select few, but I would have thought the majority would consider such a term absurd. Not delving into the whole god hypothesis, notice that used the word 'disorder' would imply that it goes against some sort of 'order' and 'intention', and there is no such thing in nature. I think some people associate evolution with an intention, but evolution is just mere chance. Things happen randomly, and sometimes things evolve for the better. But it was not like anyone actually thought about the Giraffe's long neck before he got it. Same goes for sexuality, it was not like we were given a sexuality for a specific purpose, it's there, and who knows what forms it. If anything is certain, it would be that sexuality is not 100 % genetically controlled, which again makes the whole evolution/reproduction talk unnecessary.
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What will happen now?
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 30, 2011 11:21 PM |
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depends on the girl maybe
but since I'm already interested in one...
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted November 30, 2011 11:24 PM |
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@Alci
Quote:
I think some people associate evolution with an intention, but evolution is just mere chance.
Non sequitur. It's true that evolution is NOT associated with an intention, per se, but that does NOT imply that evolution (natural selection) is mere chance. In fact, it's not mere chance at all, although it does feature random elements. The belief that evolutionary changes are randomly determined is a big a misconception as the belief that it's associated with a predetermined end.
And while I agree disorder carries a perjorative connotation (unfairly, I might add), it might be more appropriate to speak of "within a certain distance from the mean".
In any case, it's certainly a touchy subject and I won't delve deeper into it.
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Shyranis
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted November 30, 2011 11:29 PM |
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Edited by Shyranis at 23:29, 30 Nov 2011.
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Quote:
I myself was kind of shocked that so many members here could actually take the whole disorder thing seriously. I would expect a select few, but I would have thought the majority would consider such a term absurd.
I also do consider it absurd, because to say anybody has a disorder goes without saying. Not a single person alive is exactly to the letter to whatever norms may be considered in a society. We are all unique individuals, admitting it is more healthy than denying it =)
At least that's my viewpoint. Basically it's not necessary for anybody to say somebody has a disorder, because the same applies to the person saying it.
Edit: (They really need to move edit post from next to Quote Reply, because they look nearly the same when you click them)
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Nocturnal
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted November 30, 2011 11:57 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
And @Sal and DF: Of course mine is not like that. I'd just imply I'm gay that's it; no other private thing. That person you've met just liked you obviously. But sharing bed secrets to get some intimacy is bad. I've met several girls to do that to me. I felt embarresed on their behalf.
well, but that was girls.
Well, yeah. That was why I felt like you did in that situation 
Altough some people go to extreme and beat the guy. I don't get that extreme approach. You can kindly, or if you are jerk, rudely, can say you doesn't like him. But beating? When did being liked become a bad thing. It means your appearance is beautiful
I was a serious metal fan in my 19-20-21, especially black metal and Emperor (Norwegian) was my fav. band. Then while reading their background I've found their first keyboard player is in the prison. The reason: a man said him that he liked him. And he(band member) said "ok, let us meet". They met. The band member takes him for a walk and kills him
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antipaladin
Promising
Legendary Hero
of Ooohs and Aaahs
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posted December 01, 2011 06:07 PM |
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Its tottaly your buisness who u want in ur bad.
I have meny gay frindes and even a gay rommie at my home whom we share the rent
He can bring hes one night stands over as can i, we dont mind. Only thouse who tottaly insecure with there preffence of sex can be hatefull toword it
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types in obscure english
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