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| Thread: A Plate of Cookies | |
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markkur
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
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posted March 09, 2015 02:59 PM |
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Edited by markkur at 16:33, 10 Mar 2015.
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A Plate of Cookies
"A Plate of Cookies"
Once upon a time the most wonderful Hero alive received a letter from a Princess held captive in a dark tower by an evil wizard. Since he was the only knight that could save the damsel, out of the pure goodness of his shining heart he chose to accept the challenge. His horse stood on a hill while he sat in the saddle and together they spied the distant dark spire. The Hero rode up to the main gate on his noble charger. He flipped backwards from the saddle and landed on his feet to observe the castle defenses; there were none.
"Aha, Fool!" he shouted. Then thought; "The evil wizard inside has no idea of the greatness that stands nearing his castle-gate. This will be easy!"
Boldly he marched towards the dark, bleak fortress in his sparkling silver armor. Just then he heard the most evil muahaha that the mind of man could ever imagine. The menacing laugh pieced him like a knife; the first muaha was a hammer blow on his Head and the last ha froze him in his tracks. He could not move and could not speak, it seemed he was only allowed to think.
So he thought; “My Body has been stolen from me, even though he knew he could not be standing in front of the black castle without his body?!
"What vile sorcery is this?"
"You will see my shiny slave" came a nasty reply. Then he realized; his Mouth talked but it was not himself that said those words!
"Who are you!?" he demanded.
"It is YOU that spoke" then the evil laugh followed again.
He fought back; "Don't you YOU me, it was not me that spoke those words, my Mouth did and without my permission." But, he didn’t hear his voice!
Another scary muahaha echoed and this time, he felt one long feeling of "I've never been this scared in my life, not even close."
He tried to speak again but his Mouth was completely lost, it had betrayed him for another master. All he could do now was think and thinking was not one of his strong points. He had always won by brute strength and awesome power, now, the day after he had been a powerful knight, for the first time in his life, our Hero was a teeny bit afraid.
There he stood like a pawn on a chessboard. Though his body was still in silver shiny armor and not plain black or white or molded from plastic or only a mere carving from a short stubby piece of inexpensive wood, he knew he was no longer a knight.
Just then, his right Arm raised without his command. It stopped rising when it pointed straight towards the gate. Then his right Hand and Fingers reached further out with his Fingers moving in piano-playing motions. He tried to tell them all to quit looking silly but they would not obey and then his stupid Mouth laughed a deep maniacal chuckle. He was horrified. Then his left Arm, Hand and Fingers did the very same and at the moment he looked like some sort of feely-monster with out-stretched Arms that would stumble through Swiss-like villages and terrorize burgher-masters, whatever burgher-masters were and whatever a Swiss-village might be.
No matter what he tried, he could do nothing. {Please remember, he had only his thoughts} The rebel Brain then commanded his whole Body; "Stomp forward." Once his Body was stomping toward the gate and another muahaha echoed against stone walls, the Voice-box was ordered to make a deep groaning sound. There the Hero’s body was, stomping towards the closed portcullis and growling like an old grizzly bear when that traitor Brain said to his shocked Mouth; “I order you to drool! Drool!” And to our Hero’s shock and horror, saliva ran down from the corners of his stolen Mouth. What a horrible sight he must be! Even with his shiny silver armor.
Next, his Body was made to stomp and slam into the castle gate, over and over again. Now it seemed it was his turn to laugh, but he couldn't, he didn't have control over the necessary body parts to do so, so he only thought laughs. That could never do.
But his rebel Mind somehow knew that he was laughing, even if there was no laughter and said; "I have You smashing your Knuckles into an iron door like a scary 1930s ogre and you too think it is funny. surely you've lost the rest of your Mind!
It was his turn to be witty now; "Maybe I have lost my Mind you treacherous minion, but only after losing my Body. Let my Body go!”
There was no evil hahas this time, Instead there were humming-hooms that implied thought. You know the typical accepted sounds representing thought. A hum and then silence, a hoom and then silence. But this was a strange hum-hoom silence, meaning he was thinking but he wasn't and the wizard that cast the controlling spell, wasn't thinking but he was. Or was he? He was.
Then, quite unexpectedly, the Castle-gates both creaked open and the toothy portcullis quickly raised, allowing entrance; "I will let you enter on one condition"
"What's the condition?...he thought"
"Come into the center of the courtyard and start monster-walking as I have already instructed. I want you to stomp, drool and growl in a large circle. Oh, and watch out for the fountain.
"That is all I have to do and you'll turn my Body loose?"
"Probably" came the wicked reply.
After stomping inside the castle and making several large circles in the courtyard the Hero suddenly realized he had been duped! Horribly tricked he was. Of course! The rebel Mind was following the fiend's orders. He had no power over his Body and even though he thought he was walking he was not controlling He only watched his Body doing what he thought it needed to do in order to escape. Arrghh, his Mind was more clever than his own!
In an instant he knew there had been a tiny poof, like a small fart. And to his utter dismay, soon followed these words; "You have been completely overthrown, your Body has kicked you out. Sorry but the nearest exit was located on your bum."
The black wizard could have spared our Hero the explanation, for without his Body he was but a little vapor. Thank God there was very little wind that day, because he was now a spirit and had only the essence of a body. Down below where he floated, he could see his old body just standing still and looking like some unknown monster of Frankish lore. He almost asked; "Who is that?" But, he knew it was himself, he'd seen himself before.
The wind picked up and he was pushed a little towards the courtyard fountain.
Wisely our vaporized knight thought; "I should probably avoid that."
Meanwhile the black wizard ordered his body into the castle's kitchen and commanded it to sit down at a table.
Our Hero’s situation was bad for days. He was blown this way and that until he found a hover-spot where he was safe from the wind. Where was that you ask? He’s not telling and neither will I. He observed his body at times while hoping for a miracle but it was always just sitting at the table like a bump on a log and doing nothing that he could see or feel.
He had given up all hope when of a sudden, he SAW the cookies that lay in the center of the table. Understand, he was not hovering and observing them but for a flash he was SITTING in front of the plate, looking straight on the tasty circles. So, he knew his Eyes were HIS Eyes again for a moment. Maybe he can get back in?
"Hey my Eyes! Can you hear me?"
His Brain told his mouth to say "Are you nuts, they are for seeing, what do you want?"
"Where's the evil wizard?"
His Brain told his mouth to reply; "The Ears say, they do not know, they cannot hear the wizard nearby."
He then asked; "Who told you to answer for the Eyes?"
"The Brain" said his smirking Mouth as his insolent Eyebrows arched.
"Brain. Can you hear me?"
"Of course I can, if I use your Ears."
"Ok, then ask the Eyes to look around for the evil wizard."
"Well, expect a very short look, for looking about depends on your Head and Neck and other parts too."
"Can you ask or tell them all to help take a good look?"
"They said they will."
While he hovered above, he watched his own Head look from side to side and all around within the kitchen.
At last came the reply; "Can't see the evil black wizard bad guy keeping the princess locked inside a tall dark tower standing anywhere in this room"
"Brain?"
"Still here."
"Brain, can you order my Legs, Feet and...wait a minute, why are you helping me?"
"We are hungry. It started first with Stomach but it seems to be spreading and now I'm tired."
"What started this?"
"The Eyes staring at the cookies."
"Ok, go on."
"Well, the Stomach became very upset and being the Brain, I knew why; Stomach's been empty a few days and he's been grumbling more and more. He is very upset and so too is the whole Body."
"Brain, what are your thoughts now?'
"Well. I know we all need food and those cookies smell good when I ask the Nose, they look good when I ask the Eyes and the Mouth really wants to find out if they taste good.
Just then, his way back to being the master of his own body became clear;
"Brain, if I promise that we, the Eyes, Ears, Mouth, all of us will enjoy that entire plate of cookies, and I promise to never let you go hungry, will you invite me back home and banish the evil wizard?"
"Done"
In a flash he was back in his body and in full control of his kingdom. And what was the first thing the Hero did? Well he and they ALL ate that whole plate of cookies in the most drooling fashion. Afterwards, the Stomach, Throat and Mouth joined together to provide a thankful burp and life was good again.
What about the Princess you ask? Our Hero, all of him, rescued her after taking a nice long nap.
Moral of the story; "Cookies are very good to have around no matter what happens."
Markkur, December, 2014
Edit = Wow, no one liked my cookie tale? Bummer. Tough crowd these days.
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"Do your own research"
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Mihaitza
Hired Hero
martin had a dream
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posted March 11, 2015 11:39 AM |
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Edited by Mihaitza at 11:40, 11 Mar 2015.
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I just discovered this thread.
I loved the story, it made my smile many times. This is exactly the kind of story I used to like to read when I was a kid, and the kind I used to invent when playing with my little brother.
If you were to write a book with stories like this one I'd buy it and recommend it to my friends.
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markkur
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
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posted March 11, 2015 02:54 PM |
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Mihaitza said:
I just discovered this thread.
I loved the story, it made my smile many times. This is exactly the kind of story I used to like to read when I was a kid, and the kind I used to invent when playing with my little brother.
If you were to write a book with stories like this one I'd buy it and recommend it to my friends.
Thanks for the nice reply. Yeah. it's a silly tale but I never let my child-likeness completely disappear from my life. I had moment when I almost did. TG, if I was beginning to take my self to serious, I always took a large humble-pill before picking up the pencil again.
Btw, I have had a sentimental motto for a long while now; "If something you do is appreciated by one person, than it was well worth the effort."
I'm good to go now thanks to you.  Cheers
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markkur
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
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posted April 09, 2015 04:11 PM |
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Didn't want to make a thread only for a gripe so dumped this here.
Quote:
From Wiki: The box office performance of The Princess and the Frog—a total of $267 million earned worldwide against a $105 million production budget—was seen as an underperformance;[205] the "Princess" aspect of the title was blamed, resulting in future Disney films then in production about princesses being given neutral titles: Rapunzel became Tangled and The Snow Queen became Frozen.
Thawed
{A movie reporter gets an interview with Fraudeger "Fingers" Wallet about his blockbuster movie "Thawed"}
Fingers: "Will this interview be for publication?"
Reporter: "Why yes, of course, you are in the news."
<Fingers motions the reporter to start>
Reporter: "Congratulations on the enormous success of your animated movie Thawed"
Fingers: "Thank you very much. You know, it was a surprise hit for me too."
Reporter: "When and where did you get the idea for that wonderful story?"
<Fingers pales and fidgets>
Fingers: "I'm afraid that is proprietary knowledge."
Reporter: "Oh, I am sorry. Can you give fans some idea about the source of inspiration for that amazing film?"
<Fingers quickly looks at his watch and taps his phone with his fingernails>
Fingers: "Oh dear, please forgive me. I have an urgent appointment that I must not miss. Please accept my apology. Goodbye."
Reporter: "Wait! Please I must know how you created Thawed."
Fingers: "Off the record?"
<The reporter shakes his head yes and makes a motion like he's zipping his mouth shut.>
Reporter: "Okay, please. From where did the story come?"
Fingers: "A list I made. For scenery I entered beautiful, dark and gray. For moods; happy, sad, angry and ho-hum. I picked suspense and surprise as Textures and for Highlights I went with celebrity-songs, cliff-hanger, sob and last but not least happy-ending.
<The reporter looks very confused>
Reporter: "A list?"
Fingers: "Yes."
Reporter: "You entered a list?"
Fingers: "Yes of course!"
Reporter: "Entered what or where?"
Fingers: "I entered my list of important shaping words into my brand new Movie Maker 2100."
<The reporter's face is very pale>
Reporter: "The 2100 made the whole movie?"
Fingers: "Are you kidding? I used my friend's Digital Diva to make the music and exported."
Reporter: "I see. The 2100 made the movie using the music from the other program."
<Finger's face reddens>
Fingers: "No! I did! I entered the words and the songs."
<Fingers is now angry and turns to leave>
Reporter: "Wait one last question. The name... Thawed, why that name?"
Fingers: "Easy, people don't want to see a movie that has a princess in the title. I got all of my data from walking about in large cities for a year and using my wire-less Tektonics, Thought-Nabber-Tablet before making my movie."
Reporter: "So that's the new creativity."
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"Do your own research"
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