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| Thread: Rambling with Pain |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · «PREV |
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markkur
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Once upon a time
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posted December 27, 2015 10:59 AM |
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Edited by markkur at 11:12, 27 Dec 2015.
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Wow, a lot has been said that I cannot address.
I will just make some bullet comments based on whatever I can remember.
* I have tried about everything there is and there is nothing man can do to help me. The best effort I had was when it all began. I had a neurosurgeon that bought me a few years time in my lumbar area by doing a discectomy. Since my discs were already damaged or collapsing, the operation gave me the needed space for the nerves to remain free.
Note; I think I was told they will not do this type of operation now because the problem will just return. I think this is utter hogwash, there is no cure, so lets not offer real relief either! Magic pills Baby!
* There is a huge obstacle in healthcare and it is the Legal-System and that horrid system is in several parts = Lawyers representing...Doctors, Patients, Legalized Drug Dealers, Hospitals, Insurance providers and also various levels of Government. For the record; "Practicing medicine" (as in the old term Medical-Practice) is not allowed today; there is no exploratory surgery. Machines have to pin-point the problem for courts of law or nothing is done for the patient. And the fact that most tests are about 50/50 in being accurate and false positives also exist. Add all this together? Reach your own conclusion.
* Once I realized this stuff was going to take me out, I wanted to donate my condition to medical science, meaning "I am alive", try some things and learn from my misfortune. At least then I could gain the satisfaction I was helping someone after me. There is no right of the patient, to do a thing by his or her own permission. It seems all we have the power to do is donate our dead body.
* About my Faith and my pain. Ofc course I prayed and still sometimes pray but I know exactly what Paul said about his own 'thorns...thrice prayed about" and that is my fate too. The only 'witness' that matters to me is a lived-life. Not tons of words and clever thinking but a truth lived out by a living soul. Folks can like it or not but I doubt God is going to get all warm and fuzzy for those that can only walk the walk when everything goes THEIR way. But this thread is about pain and pain is universal, so please refrain from making this a thread a war-zone about faith vs no-faith. Which brings me to my next point.
* I did not log on for myself. Fred mentioned his pain, I have mine and that's about it. It seems there are milder cases here that folks have that might get ideas etc. from simple discussion or relayed facts from others on the road. I've been doing this dance for 15 years now and since I've invested my life, I do hope I have learned many things about the entire topic of health and pain.
* Someone mentioned an illness making you lie-down in preparation for death. That is correct. As I have been worn down I have had to lie down more often to reduce the pressure along my entire spine. Tis not hard to figure this; imagine your vertebrae are a tall stack of wooden blocks (ABCs if you like<S> As long as that stack is vertical the weight accumulates as you go down to the bottom of the stack. In the spine you have discs (water-cushions) that separate the blocks, If one or more leak, go dry or are otherwise defective the problems being to mount and the only 'safe' relief is to get horizontal and put the stack on it's side. eos.
* Fred, yeah it WAS crazy but dude I was 19. I had no adults in my life to caution me, never gave it a second thought and most important I needed the money. I had been living on my own since 16, so the money was irresistible. A good wage and lots of overtime gave me the <ahem> American dream.
* The notion that folks think narcotics is of the Devil is utter tripe. Nothing in itself is evil it is how it is used that determines the good and bad. I can build a house with a hammer or crush my neighbor's skull. In WWII, when a soldier had his legs literally blown-off or his guts were spread red all over the ground where that victim of war lay, he was given morphine and it was then and always will be...an act of compassion. Btw, compassion is a word that Jesus uses at times.
* Fred...do not do the iron-bars. I've heard one success story and several horror stories. <imo> Too high-risk.
* About amputation or killing nerves. Do you know that there are people that have lost limbs and digits that still feel the pain where the body part used to be? One of the options given me was to "fry my back nerves". And folks, this is about the time I gave up on modern voodoo cures for profit.
* Oh and one more time...there is a huge difference between taking any drug for a high or buzz and taking it to survive. I have went cold -turkey on several occasions (in extreme anger)and it is easy as hell to do when you are under severe torture. My experience is not about wanting to walk the streets of heaven but instead to get away from the cracks of hell.
What is one man's medicine can be another man's poison. What is needed is that "blanket-thinking' be tossed aside and each case reviewed in its own light. However, in a legalistic arena for vultures, this will not happen. With the Abuse of drugs and the false claims of GREED etc. Once more we have a tried and true old saying come to life again; "One bad apple can spoil the whole bunch".
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JollyJoker
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posted December 27, 2015 12:01 PM |
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What about a combination of artificial disc replacement and spinal fusion? Any serious surgical solution explored?
Otherwise, Ibuprofen and Diclofenac will kill your stomach and have various other long-time side effects, while Cox-2 Inhibitors are slightly better on your stomach, but probably worse on everything else.
Metamizole is really good stuff, especially in combination, however, about 1 out of 150o will suffer from side effects that will end up deadly for 1 in 4, so it's not legal in some states, the US among them.
Flupirtine won't work AND runs the danger of grave side effects.
Same with Nefopam.
So, that leaves us with Opioids.
Now, the thing to consider with this stuff is this:
1) tolerance/addiction.
Let me repeat (for other readers than Markkur) that addiction isn't the problem (and Markkur obviously has been on CT a couple of time), but tolerance;
2) side effects (which are generally fairly low)
3) main effect
The thing here is, IF you use that kind of stuff, you need more than 1 in order to rotate the medication (to avoid tolerance), plus, you need those who can be applied with retard effect (you do NOT want to be out an hour, then have 7 hours of increasing pain, until you take the next dose and are out again). Instead you want a permanent effect of pain reduction to a managable level and also not be drowsy or dizzy or whatever, which generally means that you have to keep unwished for side effects to a minimum.
Since there ARE a lot of different agents on the market, finding the best "program" is something of a longer-term thing, because you have to try a lot.
There are special docs for this in my country (don't know about the US), who try and find the combination of drugs for you that's best, which is what makes sense when there is no other way.
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Baronus
Legendary Hero
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posted December 27, 2015 10:24 PM |
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Off course morphina is a cure. Pain is illness. Morphina is good. To cure not to narcotize. If it is hard coincidence because is addicting. People takes it and it help him. That is all right.
Medical sistem is a monster. I know. I'm from formely soviet zone and you don't imagine how it is. Soviet style medicine... Hell... Only God. But doctors are people. You may meet good man. Only doctor have medical knowledge.
I can say only that say Jesus. If man is near me he suffer more. It's the best thing I can give. Son of God all His life here suffered. Because that is the best road. He give chosen people Our life road.
Do what you need to stop pain. And remember of God. Any man help you. Only the God.
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fred79
Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
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posted December 28, 2015 07:25 AM |
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markkur said:
* Fred...do not do the iron-bars. I've heard one success story and several horror stories. <imo> Too high-risk.
thanks for the advice. i would never jump into something like that without plenty of research anyway. the option is permanently off the table, regardless of it being good or not; as i'll never have the income to install the cybernetic enhancements that would help make me a supervillain anymore. 
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markkur
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Once upon a time
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posted December 28, 2015 02:56 PM |
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JollyJoker said:
What about a combination of artificial disc replacement and spinal fusion? Any serious surgical solution explored?
It may be possible but that leads me to another aspect of the fiasco I've not mentioned. 'Class' is a factor of the medical world. When then stuff first came on I had good insurance and lived the life of the middle-class. Since, I was human and thought MDs were mini-wizards of health, I visited many and followed the advice of many and therefore in the end I lost everything. And I mean everything. My new life began when I put my PC and guitars etc. into my old 95 4-runner and went to live in my brother's basement until I could win my by default-DENIED disability case. There is so much I could say here but I'll stay on point and say that by "the end of the beginning of the horror story" I was lower-class saddled with Medicare. Once you are forced to be one of the undesirables you will not enjoy a reduced "MD-interested" health-care. As Bob Segar said it, "you become a number."
However, even if I had the option I face a bigger mountain; usually something like what you listed is done when there is one problem area so the outlook is bright if it works but if like me, the patient has many areas? There is no chance that separate areas will be addressed one at a time. The thing is, foreign objects can be rejected by the body even with their test-implants screening-procedure. Obviously I did look into this stuff.
JollyJoker said:
There are special docs for this in my country (don't know about the US), who try and find the combination of drugs for you that's best, which is what makes sense when there is no other way.
You are correct JJ. Let me just add that this is still dangerous territory so great self-care is needed too. <imo>If taking new drugs that affect the mind, the patient needs someone else to monitor their moods etc. The fact that this is not standard procedure with all mind-drugs shows you how messed up things are. In addition, new drugs brought your way will often come with the moniker 'tried and true'. No one should fall for that. Just because "they" say it's common and effective means jack squat for you. BE ever cautious and ready to bail if needed. i.e. A problem that is rampant with chronic pain is Depression, so they have drugs that are supposed to address both nerve pain and mood. I get the blues at times but I am not medically depressed and yet I was given Neurontin, a very popular drug here in the States. That poison gave me Depression and after about a week of sliding downhill fast I threw the crap out. For years after, any time MDs began spouting that pitch (I swear it seems like the are all listening to one voice)I set them on their heels and we discussed no more thought-altering drugs. The only altered-thinking I want is when it is from the result of having less-pain. If that cannot happen...so be it.
Arthritic-disease comes in a hundred forms and not one is curable. Sometimes a man just has to face the facts and make the best of it.
Btw, didn't go there this time but Drug-Tolerance could have it's own thread.<L> Seeing we live in a world of pills, seems a worthy topic in it's own right.
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JollyJoker
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posted December 28, 2015 05:15 PM |
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Well, the "pain doctors" in my country will also address the tolerance thing; there is really a lot of opioids, synthetics among them, that work on different tolerance level, which means, if you start to develop a tolerance for one, you are switched to the next and rotate on several different ones.
Anti-depressants is a science on its own, so many are available. The problem with those is, chances are you may really experience adverse side effects.
However, fortunately enough, there is no need for those, except for people who get a more or less permanent blues, which doesn't seem to be the case with you - I suppose you'd be quite happy with a halfway "stable" situation.
With hard surgical solutions not possible, focus should be on finding a working rotation of opioids with a maximum of continuous effect.
You may try to find a pain management (algiatry) specialist
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markkur
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Once upon a time
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posted December 28, 2015 09:06 PM |
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JollyJoker said:
With hard surgical solutions not possible, focus should be on finding a working rotation of opioids with a maximum of continuous effect.
You may try to find a pain management (algiatry) specialist
Thank you very much for your sincere interest JJ, I'd give you a hug if I could.
The thing is I did go that route about 3 years ago, But the thing is the MDs that only work with narcotics are treated as witch-doctors and are few and far between. I made that run, one 100 mile round-trip at least once a month for about a year and finally called it quits. Vehicle-rides are rough stuff for me. Every bump, crack, and hole sends a shock up my spine. The longer the duration the worse I feel.
Because of my horrible digestive track that never seems to get better, making my stomach absorb any drug seems a bad idea. So I do not. That is why, as my patches have ceased to work effectively, I have stepped down on my own volition. I was on a 150/72hrs for a few years after making the gradual rise to that dose. However, I have stepped back down at times and also ripped the things off and went CT. It has been a long time, to have all sorts of fun.<S>
Now I am at 100 after bumping down to 75 and soon will drop to 50. If I can survive the additional increase in pain I will probably hang out there or drop-down even further. My wife is paying a very high-price because as you know, more pain means less me but as I see it I have no option.
Just yesterday I began getting a very sharp stab in my left neck; if I turn my head that way. I hate to even mention what is happening to my wife, for I know she is as weary from it as I am, but still do, so she can have a chance of understanding, should any less than desirable change happen along with the new difficulty. Who knows? I sure don't. I never know anything from anyone else, I only have educated guesses.<L>
Be well my friend and peace and love to you.
ps, this is the inspiration for my "If Pain was Purple"
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JollyJoker
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posted December 28, 2015 09:54 PM |
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Yeah, derma patch seems best - although I don't see why you have to visit the doc all the time, once the dose is found. Keep in mind you have to change the drug after some time due to tolerance - at least that's what's taught here.
Anyway, what I've heard about US medical system so far isn't really making me want to live there.
I have an inkling what's happening with you, because from experience I know that the nearer the pain is to the head the more stressful it is. Neck pain is really crappy.
I'm no doc, and the internet can't help you, but from what you say you are a fighter, however, you seem to be on a losing streak in the state you live in.
I'm going to send you a PM.
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markkur
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Once upon a time
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posted January 03, 2016 03:02 PM |
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“Dragons are no idle fancy”
JollyJoker said:
Yeah, derma patch seems best - although I don't see why you have to visit the doc all the time, once the dose is found. Keep in mind you have to change the drug after some time due to tolerance - at least that's what's taught here.
Anyway, what I've heard about US medical system so far isn't really making me want to live there.
I have an inkling what's happening with you, because from experience I know that the nearer the pain is to the head the more stressful it is. Neck pain is really crappy.
I'm no doc, and the internet can't help you, but from what you say you are a fighter, however, you seem to be on a losing streak in the state you live in.
I'm going to send you a PM.
Ftr, JJ and I have a great discussion behind the scenes. During the chat I was reminded of something I wrote a while back and it certainly fits into this thread. I wrote a HoMMish Myth and it operates <imo> as Myth should...it creates a backdrop where we all may walk.
Quote:
“Dragons are no idle fancy” JRRT
Many of us are fighting a Dragon, our own ruthless adversary. It boldly stands in the middle of our personal battlefield and with each strike, intends destruction to some part of us. A Dragon may spew fire and set our dreams ablaze, making us hopeless if we believe only in smoky-ruins. The Dragon’s breath can be cold as ice and freeze our heart if we retreat to and never leave that solitary fortress. My foe is the Dragon of Rust and it’s a powerful beast.
The blast from the Rust is not made of fireball or ice-shards but it is a venomous-cloud that descends on the victim’s spine and from there, eventually spreads like the Lich’s vapor to every joint, making you walk like a zombie or stone golem.
I used to think that Dragons were very different, since at first they look different. Of course they can be of various size. They can appear “more” or “less” threatening. They might look ugly, appear beautiful, or cast no color except a rigid black & white. Their movements can be very unique by just suddenly appearing right in front of you or you might first see a Wyrm at a great distance and then, after the passing of time, you watch it slowly stomp up to your face. However, while Dragon’s rely on their differences, I realize now that they are not that unique; after all, each is still a Dragon.
Fighting a Dragon is still clashing with a Wrym and the dangers from our battles are very much the same at struggles-end, no matter which sort we fight. I finally realized; that after being hit by the cloud and suffering, that I also had fire-damage and it made me feel hopeless. I’ve received cold-damage and it’s not even listed as a Rust-Dragon ability and yet it; at times, has numbed me behind my frozen Castle‘s “Keep“.
Why speak of Dragons? Just in case; another’s armor is not what it could be. Sometimes we feel like the “Forgotten Hero who lost his armor” but that’s not true. We are all in this war or will be, so we are never truly alone.
Visiting a Dragon Utopia can be quite an un-wanted challenge but there are rewards for those Heroes that never quit fighting.
Markkur, 2011
@ JJ you have another HCM.
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"Do your own research"
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markkur
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Once upon a time
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posted January 29, 2017 01:29 AM |
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Edited by markkur at 01:51, 29 Jan 2017.
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“If Pain was Purple”...update, here in the Ramblin thread.
My friends at HC might well be weary of my “caring & sharing” attitude of late but in this instance I ask you to not skip this effort. I once again target my nemesis, Chronic-Pain and I urge you to at least copy, paste and save this perspective for retrieval at a later date. Most here at HC are happily ignorant of my world but for the sake of those you love, in the future, even in your youth, you may well prove to as important as anyone else regarding another person’s survival and well-being.
I need to repeat something very important that JJ and I both strongly emphasized the last time I wrote about this difficult topic; Severe Chronic Pain, generally greatly reduces for the Patient, any interest and or intent at using Narcotics towards achieving Euphoria or pleasure. The Reality of drug-use changes for the Patient, in a forced-move, from choosing a Narcotic as a sometime dangerous-adventure-vehicle, to a sobering and necessary survival-tool, behind the serious need to Function as the person we were & how we lived our life, before being stricken by disease.
Here’s my experience “before” I get to my last “new” Drug that entered my life.
Previous to my decline into a wicked form of Degenerative Disc Disease, I had left all Drugs, including over-the-counter brands, decades behind me. However, as my daily pain increased, it soon became overwhelming. If I wanted “a chance” at functioning-normally I had no options but to use drugs. Two Operations and several Spinal Injections all failed. Strict regimens of exercise and taking herbal magic-pills and fluids all failed.
Those Exercise-programs are terribly absurd to me now in hindsight, because I was no couch-potato, nor desk-jockey but instead had worked hard all of my life and at times to tremendously foolish and/or ignorant extremes.
An Illustration regarding my stupidity chasing a high hourly-wage and other “pursuits”; I worked in Battery-Manufacturing, as I have probably shared before but what I did not explain is this; I worked 10 hour days, 6 days a week, for 1 & 1/2 years. My job was at the end of what was called Plate-Pasting.
Positive and Negative plates are used for the construction of the “Cells” inside starter-batteries for Cars, Trucks and Tractors. The following is an approximation of pounds that I handled during this span of time.
10 loads/day = x 2,000 lbs of a lead-oxide mud/paste + x 1,000 lbs cast-lead-grids = 30,000 lbs on average in a single day; take this times 6 = 180,000 lbs/week. Our work-year was approx 48 weeks, minus a 2 week-vacation and approx. 2 weeks to cover holidays and personal days-off. 48 + 24 = 72 weeks. 72 x 180,000 lbs = 12,960,000 pounds.
We did have some rotation between front-to back in the pasting process but I was at the bottom of our seniority-list in that Department, so I estimate I “caught” 75% of the time. 75% of 12,960,000 = I lifted a total of 9,720,000 pounds while at work during that year and a half.
As bad as THAT reveals my Superman idiocy, on my vacations  and weekends, I cut and carried 3 cords of firewood for 20 winters. I hand-mixed and poured concrete on multiple occasions. Collected sandstone-rock from new State road-cuts and built three long rock-walls. Worked on two car-motors and transmissions for Racing. (a 57 Chevy w/ custom-337 & a 71 Ford Maverick w/ 302) Built 3 large wooden-decks “by myself”, including the last at 10 feet off the ground and I remodeled 7 different homes I owned, one project entailed 1500’ of new living space.
And THEY thought I needed exercise?! THEY also thought I HAD to be a DRUG-ADDICT if I needed narcotics. I am NOT joking. In short, welcome to my surreal history; mostly of my own making.
Keeping this short, believe it or not, I tried many new-marketed non-narcotics including pills targeting nerve-damage and arthritic and depression drugs. Once it was established, a new pill, that was often universally touted as “good for depression AND NERVE PAIN, threw me into Depression for the first time and other highly marketed drugs affected my heart in scary ways, while muscle relaxers also had damaging side-effect.
I quit participating in Pharmaceutical-experiments. <Zoom-in>Neurontin, originally an “epileptic seizure inhibitor” had become one of the most prevalent drugs in use for nerve pain and of course I was handed this stuff without warning – I damned near fell to the Earth’s-core. Safe for everyone else on the Planet does NOT mean...safe for YOU.
Angry & dejected, I opted for the “safety” of at first Naproxin and later Ibuprofen. Since I was on no narcotics, I was prescribed very high doses for the next few years. At the end of this time, I discovered one or both had nearly destroyed the linings of my throat and stomach, and I now had to live with acute inflammation and treat that result with another damned drug that also does not work well. (I will never get past that end...ever)
What was left now? Opiates were all that was left if I actually wanted relief from my Dragon. My nightmare had started in 2000 but it was in 2004 that I began the usual ramp-up for patients depending on Narcotic pain-relief.
Pills are a nasty business to me because they are a type of roller-coaster for the Patient’s central-nervous system and <imvho> in general to the entire human-body. Most Drugs are simply put; foreign chemicals introduced into an incredibly marvelous chemical network that not only sustains life but also the quality of that life. All organs can be effected – in case you’ve not read drug-labels today.
So, after years on the Pill-regimen, I had a serious accident that introduced me into a stronger realm of pain. Pills could not cut the mustard and I could not function. My first Patch was prescribed.
Like nearly all Drugs before, no matter their classification or reputation, I had never heard of Fentanyl.
When leaving a hospital I was given this patch. It did the job well but at 25mcg/hr and after a few hours my heart-rate soared and that scared the hell out of me...I ripped it off. However, within a year, remembering the pain-coverage and wanting to function as near to normal as possible, I tried one again. This time, it worked like a charm and I suffered no obvious warnings like before.
For a year or more I stayed right there but like all narcotics I soon had to have more to stay the same. The next rung on the dose-ladder was 50mcg/hr, a couple of years later I reluctantly went to 75 and at the end of this road I was at 150!...and thankfully not dead. Looking back, I now realize, that 25 had scared the crap out of me and there I was taking 6 times that first dose! However, I had no where else to turn and not suffer horribly.
What happened now?
My Dragon was aging my sorry-butt at an alarming-rate. And an important new side-effect began to impact the quality of my life. When I started on this drug, thanks in part to my work-ethic all of my life, I had a very powerful body. My Neurosurgeon said he had never cut through a muscle mass above the Spine like I had, in his 20 years of practice. But I eventually realized something bad was happening to me. My sleep became disturbed and heart pains and murmurs increased. I cut-back to 100mcg/hr. I next cut-back to 75 for months. I even tried 50 to only discover I could not tolerate even more pain than I had already chosen to bear every day. Finally I went back to 100 but decided I had to try something else on my own.
During the years of using a Patch I realized that they are not precise doses. Patches depend on “absorption by Skin”. i.e. any dose is labeled as “72 hours of use” or coverage. A 100mcg/hr patch is logically supposed to deliver to the Patient 100/mcg per hour for 72 hours.
I had already held alarm, when I realized usually, my skin was emptying the Patch-Reservoir (holding the Fentanyl) in much less time than the supposed 72 hours. I was getting more than 100/hr. Period.
What was disturbing to me, was that most of my Doctors, over the years, were not aware this could be a serious problem! However, one Drug-Specialist did understand what I explained. He had encountered it before and he ordered my patches to be changed every 48 hrs, instead of 72 hr label. You can see where this is going. I was on a 100 patch but getting more than a 100 dose; in fact they could not know what dose “my body”...was taking.
About now, I had a viola!-moment and realized modern medicine did not even understand the Science they were using. If I were in control of what I just described to you, I would both create the test and then demand that all my patients-skin be tested for absorption-rates, prior to my handing out dosed-patches which presently depend on a serious unknown. Patents would not be treated as one-size-fits-all.
Sorry for the length of this but I wanted to detail my entire journey down this path.
Now? I stepped right off Fentanyl, Cold-Turkey, a final time. I had no new options and wanted no new anything so I opted to live with even more pain and now take old fashioned WWII era battlefield Morphine. My days are now very difficult but what lies ahead is unavoidable and I will not willfully kill myself to avoid pain.
The tale is not all gloom and doom. I have received-back from myself, one extremely important gift that I had lost sight of in my quest for shades of normalcy, a glimpse of my former life...my Spirit and Imagination are both now more firmly in my grip.
FYI. There is a growing epidemic, apparently going global now and the Drug is Fentanyl. This drug on the street, is estimated at being 10 times more powerful than Heroin.
terrible
____________
"Do your own research"
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markkur
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
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posted February 23, 2017 09:51 PM |
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I've posted a lot of factual personal gloom in recent years. So, a bit of a changeup; "Todays tests went well." At least no new hurdles for now...although I am waiting for several biopsy-results, a week from now. Here's hoping.
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"Do your own research"
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fred79
Disgraceful
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 23, 2017 11:15 PM |
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted February 24, 2017 08:34 AM |
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I cannot even pretend to understand most of those things mentioned here. All I can say is hold the fort and my prayers are with you.
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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Stevie
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 24, 2017 11:41 AM |
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yogi
Promising
Famous Hero
of picnics
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posted February 24, 2017 03:29 PM |
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markkur
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
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posted February 24, 2017 05:25 PM |
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Thanks guys, I'll check back in with the results.
Btw, I ask a favor of each of you and anyone else that's read this thread...Please copy my detailed posts and at least save them to share later, in case they may be of later help to you or a loved one.
Also, if you would post them in places to be seen or pass along as an e-mail etc. People generally are NOT good at sharing stuff like this and you may have someone within reach of your life that needs an earth-grounded perspective, based on experience and problem-solving.
People called my days..."the drug culture", well folks, my early years are tame compared to Today. There are far more powerful drugs, even Pot in some instances than anything we got a hold off and <imvho> as I explained in my life, too often there is not Science to back anything up. So I say (NOW)"Don't enter at your own risk" and trust no other person with your own health and safety. By all means, appoint a "Coach" that is willing and determined to learn and "keep-track" of You and what you are doing. (Be very prudent with the internet - by verification if possible) Further, as time passes you may have to trust that person to stay on top of things...if/as you fade away.
Hugs all around
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AlHazin
Promising
Supreme Hero
النور
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posted February 24, 2017 07:54 PM |
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Hey Marc, go there and scroll down until you found what you're supposed to find.
markkur said:
Hugs all around
*hug* *hug* *hug*
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Nothing of value disappears from this world, it will reappear in some shape or form ^^ - Elvin
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markkur
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Once upon a time
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posted February 25, 2017 12:25 AM |
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You are a kind soul. Very nice...thank you.
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frostysh
Bad-mannered
Famous Hero
WHY?
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posted February 27, 2017 04:54 PM |
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The pain sux. If frostysh feels the huge pain, he usually crying, screaming, or going totally mad. But the pills with a drug-effect is sux too. So the bloody hell I do not know about the exit with such situation.
Perhaps switching to some hobby or , or just go to the friggin hellhole on the Earth, and watch how peoples suffers there - and you will realize "I have not so bad life, at all"  . yeah.. 
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