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| Thread: CRAG'S AND YOG'S JOLLY GOOD ADVENTURE |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · NEXT» |
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Nebuka
Promising
Supreme Hero
Save me Jebus!
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posted August 01, 2002 07:45 PM |
bonus applied. |
Edited By: RMS on 19 Aug 2002
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CRAG'S AND YOG'S JOLLY GOOD ADVENTURE
CHAPTER I
Crag Hack and Yog stand back-to-back fending of attacking imps and demons...
CRAG: ...so I said to her:"No, Gundula, I'm really glad to see you!"...
YOG: Then what happened?
CRAG: She was a bit dissapointed,...haven't eat banana in quite some time...
YOG: Poor Gundula...
CRAG: Enough about that! What about you? Did they finally let you see your momma?
YOG: It's mother! Not 'momma'! Yeah, they let me...she's still pissed at me for becoming such handsome, brave and...
CRAG: Oh, I'm sorry...didn't know your momma's blind...
YOG: Mother! Oh, shut up! You wanna hear or not?
CRAG: OK...sorry...continue.
YOG: ...and, and handsome warrior...
CRAG: You already said that...
YOG: What?
CRAG: ...handsome bit...
YOG: Sh...
ONE OF THE IMPS: Hey common! 'Nuf talk! I'm tired of your chit chat, all bullsnow...let's finish this already!
IMP no23: Yeah, George is right! Common bluey and fatty, let's dance!
REST OF THE IMPS: Yeahh!!!
ONE OF THE DEMONS: I don't think that's a good id...( before he could finish, he was abruptly interupted by lack of air, caused by separation of his head with the rest of his body )
With that, a fierce battle began...and 23 seconds later 45 imps and 12 demons came to realisation that Heaven isn't so bad of a place...
YOG: Well, this was dull...
CRAG: Yes, I have to remember how to sweat...it was all too easy...
YOG: Just walk for a minute...fatty...
CRAG: Shut up! I'm not fat!
YOG: Yeah...and my mom is blind...
CRAG: Oh, screw you...you blue son of a b...
YOG ( pointing at something ): Hey, what's that?!?
'Something', that Yog was pointing, looked like a door. About same hight and width, but definately not made of wood. It was rather made of some flowing liquid as it looked jut like that, door made of flowing liquid...
CRAG: How did that come here?
YOG: How should I know?!
CRAG: That was rhetoric question...
YOG: Ooh, now you started using fancy words!...'rhetoric', who tought you that?
CRAG: Hey, I read!
YOG: Ability to read doesn't make you intelligent...
CRAG: Ok, ok...it was Astral's last wish...to teach me some stuff...
YOG: Astral is still alive!
CRAG: Ok, ok...I wanted! Happy now?
YOG: Yeah, you fat nerd!
CRAG ( raising his axe ): Fuc...
YOG: Hey, hey....relax, I'm kidding! You know I love you...
CRAG: ...
YOG: Let's see what it is...
They close on the 'door', examining it...
CRAG: Looks like ocean!
YOG: I would say creek...
CRAG: Creek, ocean, same snow, different day...
YOG: Looks like old Astral failed...creek is a tiny river, stream...ocean is that big fat load of water your so scared...
CRAG: I'm not scared...it's just...it' so deep!! Anyway, what's it make so creeky?
YOG: Creek is flowing, ocean don't, and this is flowing too...
CRAG: But ocean can flow too...just threw some rock in it!
YOG: That's no flowing! Ocean don't flow...creeks and rivers flow!
CRAG: So, is this look riverly too?
YOG: Yes!! It looks riverly!
CRAG: ...and creeky too?
YOG: Yes! Finish it already! What the hell Astral's been teaching you?
CRAG: Stuff...words...you know...
YOG: I don't and now I don't wanna know!
CRAG: Ok...pimp...
YOG: Huh? Pimp?
CRAG: Like 'great'...
YOG: Ooh...
CRAG: What now? We learned that it looks creeky and riverly, definately not oceanly, and that's it...
YOG: You could touch it.
CRAG: Why me? You touch it!
YOG: I have soft skin! Who knows what's it made of?
CRAG: It's made of water, you said yourself it's creeky!
YOG: It looks like creek, but can be made of some sort of acid or whatever!
CRAG: Ooh...
YOG: I know, lets threw one of the imps in it!
CRAG: Bring that lying bastard!
YOG: He wasn't lying Crag...
CRAG: Yes he was! Bring him!
YOG: Ok...
Yog goes to the carcasses and picks one random imp.
CRAG: Is that him?
YOG: Yep...go to the other side and check what will come...
Crag goes to position and Yog threws imp in the 'door'. But nothing happens, well nothing spectacular, imp just disappeared when touched the door...
CRAG: Threw him already!
YOG: I did! He just disappeared...
Crag comes to join Yog in front of the 'door'.
CRAG: What did you said? Disappeared?
YOG: Yes! Disappear! As in opposite of appear!
CRAG: I know the word! But how?
YOG: Dunno, he vanished just as he touched the thing...
CRAG: I wanna see it! ( goes and picks up couple of imps )
CRAG ( threwing imps ): Amazing! Fascinating! Unbelievable!
YOG: Try some rocks...
CRAG: ( threwing rocks ): Amazing! Brilliant! Fantastic!
Everything he threw vanished...
CRAG: So, any idea what is it?
YOG: I think it's some sort of portal...
CRAG: Portal! Cool! Love the word...but where is it heading?
YOG: Dunno...go check...
CRAG: You go check!
YOG: I asked first!
CRAG: Ok, let us check together...
YOG: Fair enough...shall we hug?...or hold hands?
CRAG: Hands are enough! And don't you dare telling anyone about it!
YOG: Sure...
They grab each others hand and step in the portal...and what seemed like 0.3 seconds later they tumble on pack of imps and fell on the ground...and to mention, they aren't where they were 0.3 second before...
CRAG: Damn imps!
YOG: Where are we?
Land seemed beautiful, full of beautiful green trees, sun is shining, birds are singing, and in the distance dwarfs and halflings are singing too...
CRAG: What an ugly land!
YOG: It must be Rampart territory...look at those dwarfs...
CRAG: Rampart?! You think we'll meet Mephala again?!
YOG: Hope so...and I wouldn't mind some archery lessons with that young man Ivor...
CRAG: ...
MYSTERY VOICE: Welcome, warriors!
They turn and see not so beautiful woman, you could say just plain instead...
CRAG: Who are you?
MYSTERY LADY: I'm Emilia Nighthaven, queen of Axeoth, welcome to my land of peace and harmony!
CRAG: ...
YOG: I've got a bad feeling about this...
TO BE CONTINUED...
[+qp Me is likes. Original and humorous tale told in a...new perspective.  ]
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Nebuka
Promising
Supreme Hero
Save me Jebus!
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posted August 01, 2002 11:16 PM |
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Oh, common...give me some feedback here...
Is it worth anything?
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2XtremeToTake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted August 01, 2002 11:20 PM |
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i was gonna say something but i thought you would want it if you posted part two directly after pt 1 and i was gonna write a entirely new twist for part two for the hell of it but i didnt feel like writing that much it is actually a good story but hopefully there will be more action in it and why choose Crag hack and Yog???
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Nebuka
Promising
Supreme Hero
Save me Jebus!
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posted August 01, 2002 11:26 PM |
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They are best pals!
I thought of writing other parts but wanted first to see if it's any good...
And I'll mock Heroes 4 alot...
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2XtremeToTake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted August 01, 2002 11:32 PM |
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are you talking about the heroes 4 Crag Hack and Yog or the H3 crag hack and Yog?
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Nebuka
Promising
Supreme Hero
Save me Jebus!
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posted August 01, 2002 11:40 PM |
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Crag Hack is a dull, ugly and charismaless(new word, momma!) character in Heroes 4. Why would I waste my time with him? And Yog isn't even there...
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Odvin
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted August 02, 2002 12:45 AM |
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Edited By: Odvin on 1 Aug 2002
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Brilliant! It took me a couple of minutes to stop laughing! When are you going to continue it?
btw Why you called Emilia 'plain'? I think in Heroes IV she's the most beautiful female hero...
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Nebuka
Promising
Supreme Hero
Save me Jebus!
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posted August 02, 2002 12:59 AM |
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Well, she maybe is best looking hero in 4...but when I remember Tyris, Adelaide or Shakti she's just plain...
Soon I'll write more...
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Odvin
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted August 02, 2002 01:05 AM |
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khhm...
?!?!? SHAKTI ?!?!?
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Nebuka
Promising
Supreme Hero
Save me Jebus!
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posted August 02, 2002 01:44 AM |
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Yeah! Where's the problem?!
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RMS
Responsible
Legendary Hero
-ing yummy foods
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posted August 02, 2002 02:25 AM |
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...eh, not all the heroes are that bad looking in Homm4...seems about even I think
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This space for rent.
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted August 02, 2002 12:01 PM |
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hey Crag..what did you do with Yog???
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The darkest skies show the brightest stars
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Odvin
Promising
Famous Hero
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posted August 02, 2002 02:06 PM |
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IMHO in H4 almost all heroes are UGLY... especially those mages/lords... no doubt H4 is the winner in 'worst hero portraits' nomination...
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CraigHack
Known Hero
Have fantasies, will travel...
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posted August 18, 2002 04:02 AM |
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"Crag Hack and Yog stand back-to-back fending of attacking imps and demons..."
I dont remember this at all....
*Yog, do you remember this?*
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The Gods have brought us together... I can't imagine why.
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Lich_King
Honorable
Supreme Hero
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posted January 06, 2003 11:46 AM |
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LOL, I've read that story twice !
I never liked YOG and HAck !
LMAO !!!
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TheRedWizard
Adventuring Hero
Returned for a while
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posted January 14, 2003 12:15 AM |
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Indeed, and if it still doesn't work then I blame your
best friend, he sabotoged your computer! You should get
revenge immediately on his computer.
The revenge should then be spread to his friends, cars,
children, parents, stereo systems, relatives AND pets.
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Cheers!
-Red
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted January 14, 2003 10:24 AM |
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Mighty Mage, were you wearing a pendant of free will?
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Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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MightyMage
Honorable
Legendary Hero
of INSANITY and DELICIOUSNESS
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posted January 14, 2003 10:25 PM |
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uHHHH...FREE WILL??? SOUNDS LIKE KILL...MUST KILL...HA HA HA HA HA HA...whoa...
wait...
huh?!
WHO STOLE MY PENDANT?
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Though I must still bow
in awe for the awesomeness that is
MightyMage. For he is all I could ever
want to be! - OhforfSake
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TheRedWizard
Adventuring Hero
Returned for a while
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posted January 15, 2003 01:26 AM |
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Oh uh..you mean this pendant?
I found it! It was just lying on the ground where
someone could have tripped over it and hurt themselves.
Its a good thing I took it too, some thief could have
stolen it.
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Cheers!
-Red
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted January 15, 2003 02:11 PM |
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Yeah. Like you for example!
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Yolk and God bless.
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My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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