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| Thread: Having a bad "well you can do somthing a bout it" | |
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nightshiver
Hired Hero
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posted September 20, 2002 08:25 AM |
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Having a bad "well you can do somthing a bout it"
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone, don't take that bad day out on someone you know.
Instead, take it out on someone unfriendly who you don't know!
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Patrick Hannifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.
When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up.
He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!"
It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year, the phone company introduced caller ID.
This was a real disappointment for me; I would have to stop calling the jackass.
Then, one day, I had an idea.
I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello."
I made up a name. "Hi, this is Mike Smith with the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?"
He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"
The reason I took the time to tell you this story is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it -- just dial my good ol' friend, the jackass, at 555-1111.
[Keep reading! It gets better.]
An old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking place. I didn't think she was ever going to leave.
Finally, she got the car in reverse and she began to move ... very slowly backing out of the slot.
I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.
Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.
All of a sudden this black Camaro comes flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space.
I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!"
The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me.
I thought to myself, "This guy's a jackass!" There sure a lot of jackasses in this world.
Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number then hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 555-1111 and yelling, "You're a jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.)
I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.
After a couple rings, someone answered the phone and said, "Hello."
I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes."
"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up, I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer.
For a while, things seemed to be going better for me.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two jackasses to call.
Then, after several weeks of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution.
First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1.
A man answered nicely saying, "Hello."
I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.
The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
He said "Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
Then I called Jackass #2.
He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your butt."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, Jackass!" And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my brother-in-law as soon as he got home.
I made another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
After that, I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.
Glorious! Watching two Jackasses throwing punches and kicking one another in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and channel 13 news cameras!!!
It was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
Name withheld to protect the guilty.
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KittenAngel
Supreme Hero
Lee's wifey
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posted September 20, 2002 08:53 AM |
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ummmmmm OK that was a long post and mean but then it got funny, but still mean.
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Never wear anything that panics
the cat.
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Lith-Maethor
Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
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posted September 20, 2002 09:30 AM |
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lmao...
note-to-self: never piss that guy off...  )
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You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted September 20, 2002 09:37 AM |
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted September 20, 2002 11:07 AM |
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HAHAHAHAA..OMG..you are insane Nightshiver!
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The darkest skies show the brightest stars
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted September 20, 2002 11:12 AM |
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SHes a nut
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Dreaming of a Better World
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privatehudson
Responsible
Legendary Hero
The Ultimate Badass
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posted September 20, 2002 11:14 AM |
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You are either completely insane or I am misreading you, eiter way that was funny so......................
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We're on an express elevator to Hell, goin' down!
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celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted September 20, 2002 12:13 PM |
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I wish life offfered a fine bounty of opportunities like that 
Thanks NS
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted September 20, 2002 12:38 PM |
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ROFL...
LOL...
wow hehe, i still havent stopped laughing.
...
...
puh hehe
Yeah that was indeed one of the best posts ive read for a loooong while
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LydiaElf
Known Hero
me?
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posted September 20, 2002 01:00 PM |
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amazing!! lol!!
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Fac ut gaudeam
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Neptunus
Tavern Dweller
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posted September 21, 2002 12:16 AM |
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God Bless you NightShiver. You've made up my day...
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted June 12, 2003 08:28 PM |
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Revived!~
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Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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Lich_King
Honorable
Supreme Hero
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posted June 12, 2003 10:08 PM |
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Hmm...... That whole things looks... I think I saw something simmilar in TV.. I'm not sure.. But maybe something is watching to much TV...
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Hexa
Responsible
Legendary Hero
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posted June 12, 2003 10:18 PM |
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hehe still LMAO at this!@ 
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If you want to realize your dreams >>> you have to wake up!@
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