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| Thread: HC Big Brother:- Series One |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
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posted June 17, 2003 11:16 AM |
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The first task is announced by Big Brother, the award, if completed correctly, will be a case of soy. Bort is elated, Oldtimer mutters something about "lesbian monkeys" and slinks off into the confessional room.
The first task is to perform an ABBA caberet, using chickpeas, a 1950's teddy boy suit, Harry Potter and a confused DJ of european origin.
Voting has also opened, in the outside world as to who will next be introduced into the house. I you would like to vote for Romana, type R. For Cat, type C. For Hexa in drag, type Hell yeah.
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 Diwethaf Gloau Sylw y Gymreag
http://aozos.com/phpBB2/index.php
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bort
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
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posted June 17, 2003 03:08 PM |
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Chester A. Arthur
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Drive by posting.
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2XtremeTotake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted June 17, 2003 03:39 PM |
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*would like to be voted in sometime otherwise*
*comes in as a burgular and steals the stove in the kitchen, makes off with it*
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted June 17, 2003 07:55 PM |
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These are the kinds of things that kill good reads
<Interrupted by horrible grating sounds from the kitchen I turn. While getting ready to chew out whoever is making the racket, I spot 2Extreme. I run to intercept him.>
"Hey kid, did you get lost? I don't recall you ever being invited here. And wtf are you doing anyway?"
<A network attorney casually strolls in...approaches me and whispers a couple of things in my ear>
"Ugh, it seems that since this is a prime-time show...I'm contractually obligated to lay off the colorful language. Furthermore, I have just been informed that you are rather sensitive and that it would be in my best interest to spare your feelings."
<I pause for a moment>
"So, here's what I'm going to do. I'm gonna help you scoot this stove back against the wall. We'll pretend this never happened. And if by some perchance you get voted on here, I'll make sure that you get to know Soccerfeva real well. He needs some friends."
"Now, get lost."
<Returns to the sofa>
"Whoah! This crap is making me light-headed. If I drink some more, maybe it will go away..."
<Glug, glug, glug>
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Djive
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Zapper of Toads
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posted June 17, 2003 08:57 PM |
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Edited By: Djive on 17 Jun 2003
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Newsflash from the confession room...
The Little Red Hot Chick and the Raging Bull.
Once upon a time there a was Big Brother contest.
To this contest came an uninvited guest.
Like a tempest she breached the paltry security.
And danced into the house like a whirlwind.
Val did not notice for he was outside.
As always occupied with the animals.
Perhaps he was in the henhouse?
Procuring some of the eggs.
Sir Stiven's face gre hot pepper red his wish come true.
He stammered something and then stole a kiss.
The Little Red Hot Chick winked at Sir Stiven.
Who was like struck by Thunder and promptly feinted.
The Gootch belched in the sofa, empty glass in hand.
"Fill it again!" he cried vision swimming in and out of focus.
The Little Red Hot Chick fills the glass.
The Gootch belched yet again.
Kitten Angel was not best pleased with the competition.
She started pounding the Little Red Hot Chick with the Wand.
But, the Wand was merely an irritant gadfly.
So sulking Kitten went to the confession room.
Oldtimer noticed the other men falling away. He looked around.
His gaze fell on a Box. The Box.
Try as she might, the poor Little Red Hot Chick.
The old man's attention she does not get.
Bort receives some much appreciated attentions.
An enthusiastic audience for his lectures on Yak farming!
So he holds them again for the Little Red Hot Chick.
"Oh, Joy Is Mine!" he exclaims.
Then the Little Red Hot Chick meets the Raging Bull.
She's dressed in Hot Red and he is a Bull.
Do I need to say any more?
Poor Little Red Hot Chick
So what about me then? And what is the morale from the story?
-There is always something which a person desires more. You just have to know what it is.
-A person whose heart beats quickly is easily tampered with.
-A drunk person can't see the difference between a hag and a chick.
-Our perception of joy are different.
-A Little red Hot Chick can be hot news.
-Protection from Kittens can be a useful spell.
-The ones that cannot be affected by magic is best kept outside.
-Red colour has a tendency to throw a bull into a rage.
And then deep down it seems we are all animals, in one way or another.
I wonder what will be written on the Little Red Hot Chicks headstone?
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted June 17, 2003 09:32 PM |
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"Dammit 2Extreme! You made me miss the replay of the Goldberg/Chris Jericho match!"
"And bort, don't try to get all logical on me. I ain't gonna argue with you...friggin college boy...fancy boy...thinking you can use dem big ol' fancy words."
"You've done well enough as half a pair of clown shoes. Stick to doin what you do best."
<starts muttering incoherently>
"And what on gods green earth does the host want us to do? Some kind of Broadway number? Man, the only way I'm doin somethin is if she can import those dancers from 'Chicago'...the ones that were screaming, 'He had it coming!!!' Woo! Hubba-hubba! That was only one of the handful of times I've ever seen bitter women and thought they were sexy!"
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted June 17, 2003 11:34 PM |
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*comes out from his super secret hiding place*
"I heard something talking about some red hot chic...where is she?? where where?
what? the red hot chic was just a part of something to make a point?
yeah right... like im gonna fall for that one, now where is that red hot chic??"
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Djive
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Zapper of Toads
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posted June 18, 2003 12:24 AM |
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Stiven, you blew it. You feinted. Everyone saw the Red Hot Chick, and she was even Death Stared by our Mighty Gorgon.
Toworrow, you'll be able to see her Obituary. Provided, we get the paper here of course.
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2XtremeTotake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted June 18, 2003 02:48 AM |
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*becomes a lazy bum and sleeps in the bushes outside the home asking everybody for change when the step outside* *Thinks he can bribe oldtimer into letting him in the house by bringing over a lesbian...*
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Oldtimer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Please leave a message after..
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posted June 18, 2003 03:18 AM |
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***CONFESSIONAL***
This is for the producers!
Some bum contacted me and tried to have me sneek him in the house. Of course I wasn't going to let him in until he said he would bring a Lesbian with him. I must say I was intrigued, so I said what the hell let him in.
Do you know what this lamebrained sonovabeatch did? He brought a real lesbian with him!
AHHH!
A 5 foot 2 250 pound short haired lesbian.
Now tell me the truth...Who in the hell wants to see that!
When I say lesbian I mean LUG style lesbian, or drugged out can't stand men but will still tease them for their money stripper lesbians. Not honest to goodness real, never had a date so I think I will go and taste other fat chick lesbians.
If this kinda of thing happens again I may just have to leave the house, aat least the kitty is still purring.
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<PLEASE DO NOT WAKE THE OLD MAN!>
"Zzzz...Zzzz...Zzzz..."
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bort
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
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posted June 18, 2003 04:17 AM |
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Quote:
The first task is to perform an ABBA caberet, using chickpeas, a 1950's teddy boy suit, Harry Potter and a confused DJ of european origin.
*Bort prepares delicious Indian cuisine*
*Bort hits DJ "Oh so Gay" ("Gay time had by all!") over the back of the head with a sockfull of quarters.*
*Bort attempts to force Harry Potter into fishnet. Sends Harry Potter to Weight Watchers because Harry has been tucking into those magically produced dinners a bit too much.*
*DJ "Oh so Gay" wakes up, bort forces him to spin the soundtrack from Mama Mia. DJ OsG does not understand why bort would possibly think that he is into Broadway musicals. "DJ 'Oh so gay' don't play that way."*
*Bort tries to figure out what the hell a teddy boy suit is. Decides it must be some slimey limey thing and falls back on the good old time tested leopardskin thong.*
*A newly svelte Harry Potter returns and looks Fa- bu- lous in fishnet.*
*Bort explains to DJ OsG that his name is a homonym ("Who you calling a homonym?") and that, while "gay" can mean "happy and joyful" it can also mean that, well, he's a homonym. DJ OsG has identify crisis, but consents to play the soundtrack from Mama Mia anyway.*
*Bort (thong) and H to the P to the O-T-R (fishnet) perform rousing rendition of Dancing Queen to the freaky (erm, not freaky like wierd, just freaky) and stlylin' (NOT, I repeat, NOT "stylish") beats of DJ recently OsG.*
Bort receives soy.
SOY! SOY! SOY! SOY MAKE ME STRONG! STRENGTH CRUSH ENEMIES! SOY!
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Drive by posting.
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Kittenangel
Supreme Hero
Lee's wifey
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posted June 18, 2003 06:31 AM |
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* Watching wrestling with Gootch and notices Goldberg on TV* OOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGG
YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
TOOOOOOOOOOOO SEXY!!
*jumps up and down hits bort in the family jewels*
WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO Look at that bald head!!!!
*gives oldtimer a sexual look*
COME TO MOMMA!!!!!
*drool*
*Hits gootch in the face and bloodies his nose with elbow*
says to group "I will marry that man one of these days!!"
*Comercial break*
*sips on diet coke and wonders why everyone is looking at me so strangely*
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Never wear anything that panics
the cat.
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted June 18, 2003 11:40 AM |
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*informs kitten that it could be due to the fact that you come in here naked... jumping up and down in the sofa trying to give gootchie boy some weird hug and then you elbow him... or it could be because you go berserk when you see a dude on a tv screen*
"now i gotta go though, ima gonna find that that red hot chic...!
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Kittenangel
Supreme Hero
Lee's wifey
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posted June 18, 2003 11:50 AM |
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*throws diet coke can at Stiven and breaks his nose* That is not some Dude *I scream* THAT IS MY FUTURE HUSBAND!!!!
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Never wear anything that panics
the cat.
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted June 18, 2003 11:53 AM |
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*wonders if kitten has forgotten to take her daily "chill pill" and then tries to inform her that you cant break someones nose with an empty can...*
"now kitten, please let me keep searching for that red hot chic...oh, and please get dressed, you might scare her away"
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Kittenangel
Supreme Hero
Lee's wifey
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posted June 18, 2003 12:55 PM |
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BAH Redhead shmedhead!
Stiven got your eyes checked there young one I have clothes on!! Got my goldberg shirt and black shorts on SHEESH!! And the pop can wasn't empty moron 
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Never wear anything that panics
the cat.
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted June 18, 2003 01:47 PM |
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*asks big brother if we could get a doctor for kitten since she seems to be trying to make this a nudity camp, and not to mention she see´s things in cans that are empty*
"Now stay away kitten so i can go look for that hot red head"
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Kittenangel
Supreme Hero
Lee's wifey
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posted June 18, 2003 02:40 PM |
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*screams in a mad fit* I VOTE STIVEN OF THE ISLAND!!!!
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Never wear anything that panics
the cat.
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted June 18, 2003 02:46 PM |
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hmmm to bad we are living in a house then
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Oldtimer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Please leave a message after..
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posted June 20, 2003 10:18 PM |
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***CONFESSIONAL***
Its getting a little tense in the house. Val has sat in a corner and has been ignoring everyone the whole time. I believe that Soccerfeva is manic, he yells about everyone not paying attention to him, swears he will never speak again and then starts spouting more nonsense. bort might be loosing his grip, its that he is using his bizarre pratices to hide the fact that he is in truth a meek and mild scientist. I'm thinking that he is trying to develop a "personality" so that he can become a teacher(All science teachers act weird just so that their students don't fall asleep)
The person I owe a great deal of thanks to is Stiven, his constant abuse of kitten has diven her into my confidence and I get to listen to her problems, and as long as Nothing Happens afterward I continue to listen.
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<PLEASE DO NOT WAKE THE OLD MAN!>
"Zzzz...Zzzz...Zzzz..."
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