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| Thread: boyfriend vs husband :) |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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pietjebell
Promising
Known Hero
positive
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posted April 20, 2004 06:20 PM |
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hehe, LOL this one
It 's nice to see some old day jokes again
(got these in my mailbox some 6 years ago)
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BOOT: what U give yur computer to start
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Vadskye91
Promising
Supreme Hero
Back again
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posted April 20, 2004 08:58 PM |
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Not mine! I made that one up myself!
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Knowledge is power...
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted May 14, 2004 02:48 PM |
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I remember. Still think you should get a QP for making us laugh.
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted May 15, 2004 06:19 PM |
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Because when I say LOL.
I literally laughed out loud when I read it.
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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TheRealDeal
Promising
Supreme Hero
Foobum* of Justice!
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posted November 17, 2004 06:01 PM |
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If neither Girlfriend(any version, even beta versions) or wife(any version) Works, you might have to use Masturbation 9,8 Gold. This cannot fail unless you have problems using your Arm-Drive(which needs fully opporational Hand-Drive, when activated it will install a Hard-On-Drive(which works like Daemon Tool)). If you get a Girlfriend program, please run and install Safe Sex 4.3(it's right next to the anti-virus programs at your local store). If something happens and Kids 1.1 starts you HAVE to make sure the Girlfriend program uses Arbortion 3.3, if not you'll probably end up with Cash Problems 2,1, which slowly kills off your power surcuit. If this happens you can't activate Romantic Dinner 0,3, and if you can't run that you won't get another Girlfriend Program, which just leaves you with the Masturbation Program.
Hint: If really desperate, activate snow 2.4, but never try to activate Cousin 2.1.
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*We all know the that Foobum is the class of all that is Cake.
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Vadskye91
Promising
Supreme Hero
Back again
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posted November 17, 2004 07:03 PM |
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Note: should you happen to run across AIDS v1.2 or HIV v0.7, you must NEVER initiate v2.0 with the host system as it will install download the program onto your system, which will cause a complete and irreverible crash after feeding off your hardware for an uncertain amount of time.
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Knowledge is power...
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Conan
Responsible
Supreme Hero
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posted November 17, 2004 07:29 PM |
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Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
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Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward, you will service.... us. - Star Trek TNG
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Vadskye91
Promising
Supreme Hero
Back again
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posted November 17, 2004 08:25 PM |
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Quote:
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from grlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to grlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Dear Conan:
Yes, Wife v1.0 does have that liability. However, keep in mind that the benefits are there too: S ex v3.4 will run much more smoothly, and Wife v1.0 takes up much less proccessor capacity than and of the Grlfriend versions. You may be able to run football v5.0, racing v3.6, and so on if you devote some proccessor capacity to Housework v2.8 and Cleaning v5.2, but it's your decision as to whether your programs are worth running them. In addition, if you download grlsNightOut v3.6 or the alternative, Jewelry v4.5, Wife v1.0 will temporarily deactivate itself and you can run your football v5.0 and other software. Also, there is an uninstall function for Wife v1.0, but it takes a very large amount of proccessor capacity and should not be used except for emergencies.
-Tech Support
(Note: My system automatically blanks certain things out ("g i r l" for example- it's really wierd.) so I had to misspell some words in order to get my message across. Sorry about that.)
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Knowledge is power...
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted November 17, 2004 08:36 PM |
bonus applied. |
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New computer viruses found:
The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.
The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB,then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files.
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
(This was a local response but I had to include it -- I was one of those they are talking about under the "Ken Salazar" virus.)
The Thorazine Virus: makes your files shuffle to nowhere in particular.
The (Colorado Governor) Bill Owens Virus: your processor ignores your programs because they're shrinking anyway.
The Aspartame Virus: eats little holes in your processor until you no longer care.
The Pagan Virus: disables your SAVE button.
The Rumsfeld Virus: starts more programs than your system can handle at once, then sprays swear words at you for mentioning it.
The John Edwards Virus: makes a fortune turning off every protective program you have, then accuses other viruses of making too much money.
The Theresa Heinz Virus: Sends all of your files to foreign countries then blames George Bush for their inaccessibility.
The No Child Left Behind Virus: makes you think you're taking good care of your files while it disables them.
The Ken Salazar Virus: fires everything in your system that works then goes to Washington.
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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TheRealDeal
Promising
Supreme Hero
Foobum* of Justice!
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posted November 17, 2004 08:47 PM |
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*ADD FROM TV**
Feeling Lonely? Just upgraded your Boyfriend 7.0 to a Husband 1.0 and wan't it completely removed? Call me! Lawyer 43.3! I will install Divorce 4.1 on all your drives and make sure that Husband 1.0 becomes Poor Sucker 3.4! We will suck all the Cash out of him with our 50-50 Virus, which takes 50 % of what he's got!
*Add End*
Now Kids, what do you learn from this? Install Preenup 4.3 before you run Marriage 3.1.
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*We all know the that Foobum is the class of all that is Cake.
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted November 17, 2004 09:10 PM |
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Hehe, fortunately I'm running Windows XP RAINBOW edition, which means that girlfriend programs are inaccessible as they don't contain the right....hardware for my system requirements.
And I really like Peacemaker's list.
QP applied 
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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TheRealDeal
Promising
Supreme Hero
Foobum* of Justice!
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posted November 17, 2004 09:33 PM |
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.. umn.. so.. we get qps for things we haven't written ourselves? .. (i have something VERY similiar in my inbox ? :S)
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*We all know the that Foobum is the class of all that is Cake.
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Vadskye91
Promising
Supreme Hero
Back again
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posted November 17, 2004 09:46 PM |
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Quote:
The Theresa Heinz Virus: Sends all of your files to foreign countries then blames George Bush for their inaccessibility.
I have a quibble here: Theresa is in no way affliated with Heinz corp... that's a myth. I detest lies like that...
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Knowledge is power...
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted November 18, 2004 09:31 AM |
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_______________________________________________________
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|********************VIRUS ALERT******************** |
|Norton Antivirus has detected (2) virus(es) currently| |on your PC after a system scan. |
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|Infected: |
|-Loser; Renders most programs incompatible, and | |certain files will avoid your system. Your system may| |experience troubles with grlfriend programs. Social | |software like Chat will be limited. Your system will | |irrevocably spend less time out on the web, rather in| |places such as My Computer. |
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|-Dork; Lowers hard drive size but raising memory | |and RAM. Physical programs, or Hardware like | |sports.exe will no longer run at full capacity. Your | |computer may have speaker inpediments and the | |visibility of your screen will be lowered. AdwEAr | |programs such as Plaidshirt.v23.3, Thickglasses.v1.1 |
|and Dorkyclothes might be downloaded. |
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|Recommended action: |
|-Shop; Find online shops to purchase new hardware | |to improve the overall look of your system, to date | |with the newest PC appearances. Checking with other | |computers is advised. |
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|-Exercise; Use the command C:Run/ to improve your | |Fitness hardware, and the overall bulk of your | |Monitor. Running software such as swim.exe will | |help. Venture out on the web much more often, go to | |LAN Parties. /,|
|-----------------------------------------------------|
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John says to live above hell.
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ratmonky
Famous Hero
Abu Hur Ibn Rashka
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posted November 18, 2004 05:17 PM |
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Asmodean, i thought you weren't going to give any qps for copy paste materials.
and to add to peacemaker's list:
Dr. Kevorkian virus: deletes old files.
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted November 18, 2004 08:04 PM |
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I could point to numerous examples in the past where people have gotten Qp's for such things.
However, this one is new - I aint never saw it before.
The star stays
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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TheRealDeal
Promising
Supreme Hero
Foobum* of Justice!
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posted November 18, 2004 08:33 PM |
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Great.. now countless QP hunters will start posting things in hope of the mod haven't seen it before.. :/
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*We all know the that Foobum is the class of all that is Cake.
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted November 18, 2004 08:37 PM |
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Okay, just step back, click to page one of the thread and read the first post. There's a fine example.
But there's more to why Peacemaker got the QP - it might have been a copy paste job (it may not have been - she's got a good sense of humor and the wit to come up with this stuff), but it was also on-topic. So in the words of our God of Dark SPAM........Chill Out
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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TheRealDeal
Promising
Supreme Hero
Foobum* of Justice!
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posted November 18, 2004 08:39 PM |
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Quote:
Great.. now countless QP hunters will start posting things in hope of the mod haven't seen it before.. :/
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*We all know the that Foobum is the class of all that is Cake.
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gorman
Promising
Legendary Hero
Been around since before 2003
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posted November 18, 2004 08:44 PM |
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Qopy
Paste
QP applied 
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When all else fails... Take notes.... ALL the time... ESPECIALLY when playing D&D.... or Pokemon in my case
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