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| Thread: Some Sayings/Questions | |
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Dragon_Slayer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
toss toss toss
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posted July 25, 2004 04:57 AM |
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Some Sayings/Questions
* Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
* Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
* It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
* The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
* Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
* If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
* Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run.
* Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
* The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.
* Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.
* There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
* An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. (lol)
* Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
* It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
* Jury = Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
* One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
* If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
* The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
* If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
* Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
* If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
* Is there another word for synonym?
* What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
* Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
* Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
* If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
* Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
* Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
* What was the best thing before sliced bread?
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Shirastro
Famous Hero
Happy happy joy joy
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posted July 25, 2004 05:28 AM |
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Wasn't there a thread like this not so long ago, somewhere in the tavern?
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And now to the next post.
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Dingo
Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
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posted July 25, 2004 07:15 AM |
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OUTRAGED!!!
* Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
Yes, That could be correct.
* Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
Actually if you substitute wrong for negative (they are very similar) then your analogy would be incorrect. Because if you multiply a negative with another negative you would receive a positive. If positive equals right (they are similar) then, Two Wrongs could make a right.
* It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
If you had a terminal disease, then you would be slowly advancing towards death.
* The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The gene pool is not supposed to be tampered with. Plus, it isn't a real pool, nobody drowns. It doesn't need a lifeguard.
* Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
This is absolute Stupidity!
* If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
Toes balance us. If they were on the knees then they would be pointless, and the feet would look strange. Plus you can always stretch and touch your toes. Also, Do Not Question God's Actions. 
* Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run.
If you think Death as a being, then Death is Omniscient, Death would know that you were coming. Plus Death doesn't have a door, since Death doesn't live anywhere. Once again, Do Not Question Death.
* Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
I don't like your attitude.
* The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.
If the mind were open you would Die. Objects, bacteria, and many other harmful substances could enter their way into the mind. A baseball could accidentally fall into the brain. We have a Cranium for a reason.
* Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.
Everything should be taken seriously. Especially Life. Seriousness is why the human race is still alive today.
* There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
You are correct about there being two kinds of pedestrians, but they are called Criminals, and Righteous Citizens. The Criminals jaywalk, and get hit my vehicles. These low-life scums should be thrown in prison.
* An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. (lol)
Everything is breakable.
* Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Good health is also the climax of the humans’ body. Good health is another reason why the human race is still alive. I hope you’re in good health.
* It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
I hope you realize that God is watching you. Think about that, before you saying something stupid.
* Jury = Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
I can't believe how you could underestimate The System Of Justice. A Jury doesn't determine which client has a better attorney! The Jury determines which client is at fault and which isn't. I am disgusted by this remark!
* One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
It's a funny rhyme, but Drinking isn't funny at all. Drinking alcoholic beverages is a very serious act. It should never be done. Drinking is ruining the world!
* If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Monkeys and Apes went a different direction on the Evolutionary Path. Once again remember, God is watching you. So try not to say so many stupid things.
* The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
No, Santa is so jolly because he has done so many great things in this world. He brings happiness to all of the worlds children, if that doesn't make someone jolly, then I don't know what will.
* If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
I hope that the mother will severely punish her child. I believe taking away all of the mute's possessions, and privileges away should be enough if the Lord's name was used in vain. But any harsher swears should result, in the child going directly to a disciplinary boot camp.
* Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
I don't see the problem.
* If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Yes, the man would still be wrong. God would hear his wrongdoing. God would remember this. Then when that man's judgment day comes, he will be judged. Also if that was a sexist comment, then I hope you go to hell.
* Is there another word for synonym?
Yes there are some, here are some examples: analogue, annotation, answer, characterization, clarification, clue, comment, commentary, cue, delimitation, delineation, demarcation, denotation, determination, diagnosis, drift, elucidation, exemplification, explanation, explication, exposition, expounding, fixing, formalization, gloss, individuation, interpretation, key, outlining, rationale, rendering, rendition, representation, settling, signification, solution, terminology, translation
* What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Take a picture, because you may never see any of these species again.
* Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
No it would be called a Special Fly or a Fly with a Deformity.
* Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
If you attended a basic biology class you would know that mammals cannot shrink.
* If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Yes, the police will do their duty. It is their duty to read a suspect their rights.
* Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
When something gets sterilized, the bacterium on it dies. Bacteria are the Devils work. Killing bacteria is one of the best things you could possibly do. Also we are civilized folk, we aren't savages. We clean our needles. Being clean is very important.
* Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
So that they wouldn't hurt their head. Planes can be a bumpy ride.
* What was the best thing before sliced bread?
God. God is always the best.
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The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted July 25, 2004 07:48 AM |
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I absolutely cannot believe what has been happening in this topic. Dingo made a really long post. Now I have seen everything (well almost everything).
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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Dingo
Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
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posted July 25, 2004 10:01 AM |
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I've had longer posts...
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The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.
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Asmodean
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Heroine at the weekend.
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posted July 25, 2004 10:38 AM |
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Quote:
* One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
It's a funny rhyme, but Drinking isn't funny at all. Drinking alcoholic beverages is a very serious act. It should never be done. Drinking is ruining the world!
Hmmmm.
Considering a -QP for such blasphemy j/k
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To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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doomnezeu
Supreme Hero
Miaumiaumiau
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posted July 25, 2004 11:42 AM |
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i totally agree with you MODmodean
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Lord_Woock
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
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posted July 25, 2004 03:21 PM |
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Quote:
Also, Do Not Question God's Actions.
There is no god, gawddammit!
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Yolk and God bless.
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My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted July 25, 2004 03:23 PM |
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Shirastro
Famous Hero
Happy happy joy joy
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posted July 25, 2004 03:48 PM |
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IPU!
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And now to the next post.
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