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| Thread: What's Yer Excuse For Coming To HC! Don't Lie Tell The Truth! | |
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted May 19, 2005 11:07 PM |
bonus applied. |
Edited By: Consis on 19 May 2005
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What's Yer Excuse For Coming To HC! Don't Lie Tell The Truth!
Dear Overly-Possessive Overbearing Jerk-of-a-Dictator,
"One day I was walking down the street. I was on my way home from...um...work! Yeah that sounds good!  Anyway as I walking down the sidewalk with my...er...um...tools in my hand this great big black luxury car drove up beside me. As it slowly drove alongside me, this tinted window rolled down. Inside was a man with a beard, a New York Yankees baseball cap, and dark sunglasses. He looked at me and told me that he had something to say to me. So I stopped and asked, "what?" The guy said he had the blueprints/recipe for the special ingredient they put in marshmallow peeps candy to make them so tasty. I shrugged and said, "who cares?" He then went on to tell me that he was being followed by government spies and that they knew he had stolen the plans via a mini film-microfiche analytical computerized go-go-gadget camera; otherwise known as the "M.F.M.A.C.G.G.G.C.". That last part sounded confusing but he told me not pay any mind to dumb military abbreviating habits. Apparently the gizmo was indeed created by the Army. So anyway I shrugged and said that I would help; thinking it would be no big deal. He handed me the plans in a manila folder that was licked shut and held tight with a small fastening T-shaped metal binder. It might have been aluminum but who can tell these days eh? So after I received the special package I quickly veered off course between some residential houses to avoid the government scum that was following my honorable friend. He'd obviously trusted me with a great responsibility. I could tell he was a 'good guy'. I hopped a few fences and continued on through some of the back and side yards that I came across. I had to avoid a few dogs, two cats, a box of rabbits(the smell), and pig. They say pigs are smarter than dogs but I'm getting off the subject. As I entered one backyard in particular, I noticed a strange glowing light coming from the rear porch. I leaned over to peek in through the sliding glass doors and saw some green aliens with big black eyes and spindly long arms trying to fit some sort of big metal contraption in some poor fella's buttox. He was all tied up and looked pretty helpless. I felt bad for the guy but I knew I had to move as I was probably being followed now by the same men who wanted my friend. "If I make it through this", I thought to myself, "I'll make sure that guy is remembered as a national hero". Once I made it home, I quickly turned all the lights off, shut all the curtains/blinds, and headed for the garage where my computer was. I figured the best way to let the world know what was in these documents was to put it out on the web where it could never be kept a secret. I wasn't exactly a fan of 'Big Brother'. I sat down in my corner and opened the folder as quickly as I could. Inside were some old cloth-like papers possibly made up of papyrus or parchment(maybe). It looked old. As I sat there wondering what the devil could have possibly been written on old laundry-style medieval paper, I realized that this was the exact reason for their value. These documents must've been created a very long time ago. I then began to look over the hand-written text on the paper. It was very old; possibly illegible by most people today. So I wondered where I could find a translator for the material. I went online and asked around for people who could help me. After much deliberation, with about 10,000 hits of internet searches, I finally came to the conclusion that the writing on the paper was a coded message. The message reads: "THOU SHALT FIND THE SECRET OF LIFE IN A SERIES OF MYSTICAL GAMES". I wondered and wandered at what this could possibly mean. I had thought it was the recipe for the secret ingredient in the irresistible marshmallow peep candy. Maybe that ingredient is the secret of life. I was at a loss for any reasonable explanation. So I played and played one medieval game after another until finally coming to a game called "Heroes of Might & Magic". I thought it was a nice game to play. I saw nothing of special interest until one day when I dared to take a closer look at the very brilliant rainbow-colored hue of the so-called fictional Mighty Gorgon cows of death. It was here that I saw something I hadn't seen before. It was a clue. Lo and behold before my very own eyes was an interesting spectrum of colors. "A spectrum", I thought, "this must be a clue!" I then quickly proceeded to print out a carefully identical photograph of the Mighty Gorgon hide. I took that photograph over to the lab at the local university and sure enough, under a highly specialized Argon microscope I made a new discovery. This bold new discovery could change the laws of physics, or so I thought. Under the spectral analysis lens there appeared a message in yellow overlapping the magenta spectrum. Both the observer and I knew the authenticity when we saw the overlapping incongruous nature of the writing. It looked sort of stretched and elongated as if placed on a funhouse mirror at a carnival. But sure enough, there in plain English were the words: "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get".
Sincerely,
None of Your Business
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Roses Are Red And So Am I
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted May 20, 2005 12:20 AM |
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In Case Anyone Is Wondering
This thread is for the biggest lies..*cough*..er...um...stories you can come up with as to how you came to Heroes Community. (i.e. Aliens sent you, Jesus said to do it, The government, etc)
Don't get too confused! I'll bet some of you have some real whoppers-of-a-tale to tell!
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Roses Are RedAnd So Am I
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terje_the_ma...
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Disciple of Herodotus
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posted May 20, 2005 01:12 AM |
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How I came to be an active poster at HC...
A True Story:
I was once an innocent and happy child. I used to live with my parents, never go out after 6 in the evenings, and do my homework every day. I was the best student in my class, I worked out, I played the guitar, and I went to church. The only video games I played were “Bunny and Chick” and it’s sequels. The only thing I watched on TV was shows made by different preachers, who needed money in order to do missionary work amongst the heathens. And I donated. I donated 50% of my pocket money. It wasn’t much, but I really felt that I contributed to the Good Cause.
Then, one day, I finished High School, and I found myself asking, “What now, Terje? What will you do now?” And it turned out that I really had no idea. Luckily, my parents had planned it all for me, so I didn’t have to bother about the details. I was going to attend a Lutheran seminary, in the capital, so that I could one day return to my hometown and become its vicar. I thought this sounded like a good plan; that my parents cared so much about me that they arranged a good future for me; a future where I could do good deeds for my community.
So, off I went, to the great Capital, where my parents had arranged housing for me in a commune, where there lived 9 other seminary students as well. The first semester went flawlessly; I continued to excel in both academic and physical tests given to me, I got along well with the people I lived with, and I continued to donate 50% of my study loan to harvesters at the missionary fields.
In my second semester, disaster struck. The TV reverend I’d loved to watch during my childhood turned out to be a fraud. He’d hidden away lots and lots of the money I and other faithful people had donated to him in a tax paradise off of the coast of the United States. Also, it turned out that his organisation had made use of atrocious and extreme tools to win the heathens over. If they’d refused to be converted, chances were that they wouldn’t live for much longer. No say the least, my formerly so youthful and vibrant faith now lay in ruins.
This wasn’t just the case with me. All my fellows in the commune were devastated as well. We were in desperate need of spiritual guidance. The solution came with and from Paul.
Paul was of my age, and had started at the seminary at the same time as I had. He, too, had been an avid supporter of the TV reverend, but unlike the rest of us, when our illusions were shattered, he didn’t succumb to desperation and depression. He found a new religion; the religion was Marxism-Leninism. He found a new Holy Trinity; Marx, Engels and Lenin. And he found a new church: The Labourers’ Communist Party.
It didn’t take long before he started telling us about the ideas of the ML movement: Abolishment of poverty and class differences; collectivisation of industry and agriculture to avoid alienation of labour; widespread government control to discourage fascist plots against the People; centralized authority to fight inefficiency and destructive competition within the productive forces; world revolution; comradeship, solidarity, freedom, equality. And in time, we all came to see the glory of Father Marx and his followers. There could be no other alternative!
When we enlisted into the Party, we were given strict orders to resume our studies. It was useful, they said, to have Comrades as spiritual guides of the people. Spiritual guides who could show them that the capitalist and fascist societies of today wasn’t a society with their best interests at heart. Unlike the ideals if the Labourers’ Communist Party. So we started doing out own little missionary work.
We studied during the winters, autumns and springs, while at the same time doing voluntary work in our communities. Getting to know the people on the lowest steps of the social ladder, and the people the social democrats, the social liberals, the conservatives, the liberalists, the libertarians, and whatnot, had decided not to see. And I believe that we were able to do some good for these people. We offered them jobs. The jobs were neither complicated, advanced nor well paid, but it was jobs; jobs that helped these people, who had been robbed of everything, regain at least their dignity. It wasn’t much, but it was beginning: A beginning to the end of the corrupt and evil society in which we lived.
Now, let me jump back in time; maybe 4 months or so. I had during my first semester in university bought a computer, and a few games. I had also gotten an internet connection. One of the games I bought was one of the games in the Heroes of Might and Magic series, and I soon was completely addicted, and before long I had acquired the rest of the series as well. I had also started to look for sites on the internet where I could discuss the strategy of these games and just generally have a good time. I had found HC, and I liked it here.
Now, however, the Party leaders saw an advantage in the potential such a channel for spreading their ideology represented. They told me to establish myself as a familiar face as HC, and to start a subtle recruiting of foreign aid to our cause. And so I did.
That was two years ago now. For two years, I have lied to you, I have deceived you, and I have tried to persuade you into joining an organisation run by principles of authoritarian ideology. This is not an “I am so sorry” post. Consis asked how we’d come here, and now I’ve told the truth. I will not cease my attempts at creating a foreign power base for my Party, as I still believe that our cause is righteous and good, but I decided that I would no longer deceive you, my fellow Heroes Communists, by pretending to be someone I am not, and hiding my true self.
The Revolution Will Come!
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"Sometimes I think everyone's just pretending to be brave, and none of us really are. Maybe pretending to be brave is how you get brave, I don't know."
- Grenn, A Storm of Swords.
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted May 20, 2005 02:52 AM |
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sex
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Lith-Maethor
Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
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posted May 20, 2005 03:00 AM |
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...
Quote:
sex
Acu just won the Poster of the Month award as far as i am concerned...
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You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.
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lord_crusader
Promising
Supreme Hero
UHU!! supreme!
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posted May 20, 2005 03:19 AM |
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8 years ago... on my sweet 15 I come to a new school, you know new people new friends, my father buy a computer, to help us in the homework etc... I was affraid of power up that monster!! a new brand celeron 300 mhz!!! with the incredible amount of RAM of 32MB, and a 4MB trident blade 3D card!! to powerfull for me!! and with that operating system!!Windows 98 is here ohhh my god...
When I lose the terror of use this monster I spend a lot of time playing solitaire, and sometimes when I feel the enough courage paint  , so I start to buy PC magazines and you know all the demos on the CDS... so I had a lots of demos , and when I get sick of that, I tried for something new... full games!.
A new concept for me... but in a town like "Fresnillo, Zacatecas, Mexico" where can I find this games??? to hard... so a good friend call it Javier say me... "Mauricio I have a good game, really, is a good game... is call it heroes of might and magic 2" I say what the hell is that!! he has the compendium edition with heroes 1 that never works, and heroes 2 with the expasion pack, So I try this game...
The first impression was... boring... because my "hero" start to move on the map and after some steps he stop and then the hero don't walk anymore!! so I try to make it move for 30 minutes and I cant do anything!!! I make a call to Javier and I say:"your sucky game didn't work!!, is freezzed!!! and I can't move my hero" he say: "Quiet my friend, did you see the sand clock icon??"
"YEs I see it" "clik on it""*click* oohh I can move again!!!" and this was the beggining of some heroes 2 classes, when I get how to play I say "well enough for today" and then I saw the clock: "12:00 AM", I start to play at the 3:00 pm after the school!!!!!!!!!!! so what the hell was that!? 9 hours playing heroes 2 and I never get noticed ...
so this will be the beggining of my adicction... I cant burn cds and I can't buy this game on my town so the other choice was ask to Javier for "send me DATA" he create a game and when and the I Join him when the data was ready he left the game and I can play the game without cd , but I cant close the game because the data can lose, so the heroes 2 game never was closed for about 2 or 3 months , and some months after, my dad decided to contract INTERNET... my pc had a super MODEM with 33900 kbps!!! a superspeed, and all my horizonts expanded to the maximun... I'm start to using INTERNET and I decided to find a page about Heroes and the first page that I found was http://www.bestsitez.com/aoh/, with all the information about the game and the link of the heroes community page...
But never enter to heroes community... some months I read something about heroes 3 and that forge town!! and I get to excited about that... So I enter to heroescommunity.com and start to view the threads and the posts of this guys...and searching for more info about heroes 3, but never registered, just in the heroes community mail.
When heroes 3 comes out, me and my friends decided to buy it, but we never know where to buy this game, not in Mexico... so Javier search for a page and then he can buy it on USA in a page call it "chips and bits" or something, take about 2 months to finally end in the Javier's hands... I had a new addiction Heroes 3 Restorarion of Erathia...
some year later we saw the new expasions so we decided to buy Heroes 3 complete... but again the same problem... where?? so we find a page from Holand and we buy the game there... , 5 months pass and the game never come to our hands... we have lost our hope... and one good day a strange man knock on the Javier's Home... and Say: "This is for you" and the man trow the package in the floor and leaves Javier's house... the box totally destruyed but the game was in there!! finally!! the game in our hands... this was about early 2000 so after 3 years of intense play of heroes 3 and the come out of heroes 4, and the very common visits to the forum, I decided to test me on the online gaming and register in the heroes community and the TOH, so that is how I come to this community...
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Dig Out Your Soul
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guitarguy
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Rockoon.
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posted May 20, 2005 05:30 AM |
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It was a dark and stormy night...
I was alone. Creeping through the darkened hallways like a malignant spider on the prowl, I held my breath. Beneath my weary flesh, I could feel my heart beating violently against my insides. My eyes strained to see beyond the dark shroud in front of me; nary a torch or candle was nearby to light my path. The incessant creaking of the antiquated floorboards was maddening, giving me all the more incentive to be done with the awful place. I hastened my pace, clenching my teeth as rotten wood chipped away beneath my feet. After countless minutes of stumbling through the dark, I saw a faint glimmer of light up ahead. I was drawn to it; my body did not slow down for an instant. The light had grown stronger now, and even more beckoning than seconds before. I approached, obsessed with finding out what it was. Finally, just meters away, I had a clear view. It appeared so bright and brilliant, yet I sensed there was much more for me to discover. Bracing myself, I reached out with my hand and touched it. It was only then that I knew, and I couldn't believe it...
oops, wrong story.
*crumples and chucks wad of paper into a pile; puts head down on desk*
-guitarguy
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted May 20, 2005 05:52 AM |
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LoL!
This is turning out to be one heck-of-a-thread! 
Keep going folks! And don't forget to have your fiction lead you to Heroes Community! 
w00t !
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Roses Are RedAnd So Am I
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TheRealDeal
Promising
Supreme Hero
Foobum* of Justice!
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posted May 20, 2005 07:58 AM |
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It all started 1 year ago, while i was digging for pennies in Peru. Some weird guy on the internet told me that a shovel and a metal detector could get you rich fast. And since i had both, i might as well try my luck. After i had been there for 1 month, i had dug a very long hole downwards. Suddenly i hit something hard, and i had to dig around it. Suddenly i surfaced, and noticed i was in some strange place.. The buildings were normal, maybe a little big on the top part of the doors but wtf. I started looking around the city, when all of a sudden 2 dudes with whale heads approached me and started screeching and crying, without me knowing what happened. I ran away, they had whale heads god damn it. I ran so fast i didn't see where is were going, and i fell down the whole i came through and i fell all the way to peru again. But the Whale-People had followed me, and chased me through the mountains and all the way to Canada! After they had chased me for a while they started liking the land, and decided to settle there for the rest of their lives. The Whale-People danced the Can-Can every night, and therefore they called the land CanCanada, but the Chief Whale didn't like it and went for Canada. The Whales adapted to their new life and decided to stay there. They made a new sport they called Horkiii, which involved iceskating and sticks, and some thing they called a "Phuhck". I soon left this country because the Whales were a weird people who had trouble talking. But the whales made potions for eachother that made them live forever, since they had trouble breeding, so they wouldn't just die all together. They gave me a potion as a thx for helping them to this country so i could get immortal. I went back to Canada 83242 years later, to see how things were shaking. It was the year 2004, and nothing had changed. They had nicer skin, but it was because of some Norweighen handcream, i think. One day i talked to one of the beasts, now they sounded almost normal, but they still werent 2 smart. I ventured down in the lands where i found a land called America, and they had whale-people aswell! The Whale people must have spread throughout this place! This was enough, i had to go home to Denmark to see how things were shaken. When i got to Denmark, everyone looked like a Hedgehog mixed with a big bag of coal. Weird. Did me going through that black hole back in time to get pennies cause so much fuzz? Neet.
oh yeah, and i looked at some webpage they made called Heroescommunity
(if anyone took offence from this, i'll gladly delete it! it was just a joke )
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*We all know the that Foobum is the class of all that is Cake.
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted May 20, 2005 08:07 AM |
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Edited By: Consis on 20 May 2005
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OMG!
Quote:
The Whale-People danced the Can-Can every night, and therefore they called the land CanCanada, but the Chief Whale didn't like it and went for Canada. The Whales adapted to their new life and decided to stay there. They made a new sport they called Horkiii, which involved iceskating and sticks, and some thing they called a "Phuhck". I soon left this country because the Whales were a weird people who had trouble talking. But the whales made potions for eachother that made them live forever, since they had trouble breeding, so they wouldn't just die all together.
~ROFLMAO! Oh my goodness I haven't laughed this hard since TheUltimateMale. Very funny TheRealDeal. I enjoyed reading it. That was hilarious!
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Roses Are RedAnd So Am I
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LadyDrako
Tavern Dweller
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posted May 20, 2005 11:29 AM |
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I was visiting the geico website just to watch the gecko do the robot... When he stopped, a little box popped up that said, you are being redirected in 5 seconds....so here I am! 
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted May 21, 2005 02:59 PM |
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It was just over a year ago. Almost a year before some Australian travellers in Bali got caught for drug trafficking. My brother was attempting to control the world with his mind. Inspired by many German coffee commercials (you know, the ones with the car through the woods and this guy popped out in the middle of the screen screaming loudly), he dranked a truckload of ale with a packet of chips. After falling asleep one night, I heard a distant voice. It was Beelzebub, wanting me to take his form and invade HC.
And the rest is now history.
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted May 21, 2005 04:57 PM |
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Edited By: Consis on 21 May 2005
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LoL
Quote:
My brother was attempting to control the world with his mind.
Yeah my brother tried it too. He eventually gave in to the Atlas-like pressure and decided to change professions from evil mastermind to running through the amazon forest covered in cooking oil. I'm not sure exactly which job pays more money but I hope he's happy in whatever path he chooses in life. And I love him too; may God bless his maniacally sautéed heart.
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Roses Are RedAnd So Am I
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted August 23, 2006 04:02 PM |
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Edited by Celfious at 16:46, 23 Aug 2006.
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I was born on the true day of evil. I am not even human, nor does my core navigate your plane of the existance you see. That shouldnt be to hard to believe, atleast the inhuman part I guess lol. You can even see that my date of ascension into this state was october 31 2001. You will find Celfious no where else before that date, nor any other user of this name, anywhere for it is the name of .....
Is this a story, a lie, or the first beggining of a self declaration?
Why ascend into HC? Because!!! I am a hero. A hero of what is the question I leave to you. But know that it is not vile or frivolous. How, ascension is done, or how it is real, is something you will one day know for certain.
For is this truly a story?
For my name is only used by me (but there will be those in the future which fufils prophecy) and I was born on the day of evil.
 Am I evil? Did I say that? 
Oh, btw your months are like half a day to me. I come here 40 or 60 times a day and post mounds of times. I have to wait hours and hours for others to post so it doesnt look like I posted everything at the same time. I try to look normal in that respect. But in my time I've only been here for about 4 months or something...
I have to edit my posts almost in the snap of my finger though.. Thats the only thing :[
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What are you up to
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted July 23, 2007 07:44 AM |
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Hmm....
Why do I get the feeling that some of you haven't been very truthful? This thread is for 'stories'.
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Roses Are RedAnd So Am I
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