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| Thread: Walking the lonely road? | |
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bjorn190
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Jebus maker
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posted December 06, 2005 02:31 AM |
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Walking the lonely road?
I've always had high expectations of myself, and worked hard to reach the goals before me. After doing awesome in school I went on to medical school, then switched to business school. Im in Mensa, and a society for gifted students too, and will soon graduate with a major in management.
But the world of love I grew up in seems distant now. The world is not as rosy as I once thought it was, or as it could be, if things were different. The question facing us all is why the world is this way, instead of being a place without tears and suffering. It puzzles the mind.
The first time I fell truly in love, my spirit broke free from this mortal coil, and now I dwell in the eternal light of love more than in this material world. Still, I see the world as it is, and the suffering of others breaks my heart, alittle more every day.
I don't know why Im like this, but I feel that it is, in a way, my duty to do whatever I can to make things alittle better for everyone. I can't let go of that responsibility, and somehow the everyday things of life now seem mainly as a waste of time. Things I used to enjoy, like seeing friends, going to a movie; they're all fading now. It's like I cannot appreciate it as much when I know that so many innocent people are in pain in this world that we all share.
Part of me is dedicated to walking this lonely road, and do what one man can, to alleviate some of the pain somehow. Another part of me longs for more of the good things in life that I have, but I mainly see as a way to keep my strength up. I've had love in my life, and don't really need a materially rich life to be happy now.
But my question is, how do you chose? How do you draw the line between using your time and energy to care for yourself and those close to you, and between caring for those who were born less fortunate? Is it possible to grow beyond the picket white fence and find new horizons? And if so, should you?
Anyway, its late, and I guess Im rambling 
I hope heroes 5 is released soon so I can play with you guys again.
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Conan
Responsible
Supreme Hero
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posted December 06, 2005 04:20 PM |
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Edited By: Conan on 6 Dec 2005
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Interesting post.
In the last part of your post you asked a question. Let me rephrase to make sure I understood and there is no communication gaps:
You want to know how to make this a better place to live in, to help those in need and at the same time, to still have time to think about yourself.
Well, if I've got it right, it's a good question, one I have battling with for a while. Hence the reason I call myself a two-faced socialist or social democrat.
Balance would be the key issue here, but as you've said that you require some time to think about yourlself to gather strength, which is very valid, it is important to remember that giving can in turn be very rewarding.
One you start on the path of helping and doing what you envision to do with the World, you'll notice this, in turn, will give you strength and that perhaps spending time on yourself might not be as rewarding as spending your time on others. Only by trying will you find this out.
Nice to see there are still people out there that think this way.
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Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward, you will service.... us. - Star Trek TNG
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Nidhgrin
Honorable
Famous Hero
baking cookies from stardust
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posted December 17, 2005 06:20 PM |
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Great consciousness can also bring great loneliness. At least from my point of view that has to do with communication. I can enjoy simple pleasures like eating an orange, going to the movies or hanging out with friends but it's not enough. The intensity with which I experience life is much greater than how most of my friends do, and there are just things I feel, or reasons behind those feelings that they cannot understand. They don't understand my detachment from material things, the urge I feel to make things better and to help the world forward and so much more.
It's difficult to choose like you say, but not so very long ago I did, set out a couple of goals for myself and am getting involved in NGO's and charity organizations, making voyages to third world countries and when I'm home I try to live as compassionate and conscious as possible. The hopeful thing is that the more you get involved in beneficial organizations, the more you run into people who are just like yourself. The more you open up as a person, and the more you just take life as it comes, the more you meet wonderful people who are dedicating their life to make this world a better place, even close to home
How far should you go? For me that's as far as I feel humanly comfortable with. I'm not a saint and I have human desires too. No need to go sacrifice yourself Bjorn, for if you're not able to help yourself first, you will never truly be able to help others. If you don't change your life but make it your quest to make at least one person smile every day well then you're just as good as human being as someone who moves to Pakistan to build shelters for the homeless after the earthquake, atleast in my eyes.
Hell yes it's possible to grow beyond the picket white fence! Spread your wings and let them take you wherever you want them to take you. There are so many things in today's world that are going terribly wrong so you just really have to pick one or two and go for it. Just try, and the uncomplicated appreciation and love you receive in return will give more satisfaction than all the material wealth you could ever acquire in your life alltogether.
You're not alone
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Valeriy
Mage of the Land
Naughty, Naughty Valeriy
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posted January 01, 2006 10:01 AM |
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You're lucky that you are having very positive experiences along with seeing the negative aspects of life, Bjorn. I'm also quite weird in things I enjoy and don't. It's not interesting for me to "hang out" with friends, or go to parties, or travel and see the world, or to go and do extreme things. And yet it's interesting for me to sit in the backyard and look at the grass, leaves and butterflies. It seems that what is outwardly full tends to be inwardly empty, and the other way around. In people I value applied idealism, not just theory, but not stupid zealotry either. I've also had a time when I thought I should help make this world full of suffering better - "if not me, then who? if not now, then when?"
Now I also see the meaning of these statements: "people deserve their lives" and "the world is not broken, why try to fix it?" I'm not responsible for all the bad things because they were here before I got here. I'm responsible for what I do out of my life. So I start from little things like not eating meat, making less rubbish and car pollution, etc. Thinking that I'm responsible for the mass suffering is a bit far-fetched and closed to thinking I have god-like powers to cause things.
Besides, that's a whole lot of judgement. This = good. This = bad. Suffering = bad. Why? Just because we don't like it? Good things can come from it. If god is all powerful and all knowing, it's obvious that his will is for this given amount of suffering to exist in the world. Why? Silly humans might not understand. Maybe it's more like yin and yang. And opposites can cause each other. A lot of suffering causes heroism and determination. A lot of good intentions (think some parents) causes a lot of manipulation and suffering. So it is unwise to wish one thing and not another. Like with a coin, if you want heads, you'll have to have tails as well. But of course we can play this game and be heroes, fight for justice, against suffering, etc. And it's all good and positive. Or another way is to accept the balance of things as it currently is. Or a mixture of both ways, which I tend to do.
How do you choose? Just however you choose. Try either option and see what it's like I suppose.
Self/others is also a dualism like good/bad. If you experience yourself and others as parts of the whole, then no matter who you do good for, you're doing it for this whole.
One interesting question I've been thinking about is: why does nearly everyone think that one particular person should have all the best things in life? That particular person around which their awareness happens to be centered. Why should I want myself to live happily ever after, and not the guy who just walked down the road? Taking aside the focal point - the fact that I exerience through this person, and judgements of this mind - about what makes one deserving and what doesn't, there really is no reason why it should be me.
And what difference will it make whether I will live happily ever after or that guy will live happily ever after? Once again, taking aside the opinion of who is more worthy and why, it doesn't seem to matter. So the more I think about these things and challenge these fundamental assumptions, the less I seem to care about what kind of life I'm going to have. Because someone is going to have a good life, and someone is going to have a bad life. Someone has to have a bad life, and someone has to have a good life. Why is there such a big deal whether this particular person gets one of them and not the other?
More and more it seems to me that people who paint a banner and march under it determined to do good are dangerous. They are too fixed in their ways, and don't understand that opposites are very close to each other, and can flip easily, just like a coin. They are generally full of ego about how good they are as well - that is why they paint the banner. People who are kind and compassionate for real don't turn to religion to display how good they are, they don't talk about being good, they just do good little things quietly, without a goal to do good little things - to prove that they are good, to achieve some change - no, it's just what they happen to feel like doing deep down inside, at the moment of when they choose to do it. It's not some act they are putting on to feel better about themselves.
____________
You can wait for others to do it, but if they don't know how, you'll wait forever.
Be an example of what you want to see on HC and in the world.
http://www.heroesofmightandmagic.com
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Peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted January 01, 2006 08:04 PM |
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(posting for robot notification -- be back soon)
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bjorn190
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Jebus maker
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posted January 03, 2006 01:53 PM |
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The thing that worries me is, that people in general don't seem to care much about the way the world is managed. They want a nice life, hang out with friends, have a nice job, food, travel..
Meanwhile, there are others who care a great deal about power, and are given free access to deciding how the world will be run. Usually this free access is used to amass great personal wealth, sometimes because of efficiency, and sometimes because of exploitation of the masses.
Today a mans worth is decided by how much he can produce. For the average man this means we need jobs to have worth. And at the same time the availability of jobs is becomeing lower and lower each year. Partly because of jobs going abroad, and partly because machines can do those jobs more efficiently.
If this development goes on we will find ourselves in a situation where we will have alot of people without jobs, who will be considered to have low worth.
All of this is decided not by nature or any real truth, but by a system of economics that has been created by man. It's a good system, but some of the flaws are that it can let thousands starve when food is a block away in a locked warehouse, because they can't afford to pay.
Even in America, the joblessness is starting to spread. Not because people are lazy, but because the jobs are simply not there. If everyone who wanted one could have a job, I think things would work pretty well.
At the same time, the political power of the world is being centralized, at least when it comes to important decisions. This means that the time when people could affect their lives through voting is coming to an end. Voting will not be above the rules of the economy, which are made inside closed doors in global organizations.
So, the economy rules. And people are just not taking responsibility to make sure that they are building a world where their children will be guaranteed to have access to food and healthcare. They are too busy watching TV, spending their latest paycheck on stuff they don't really need, and leading normal lives.
My basic problem is that although I have both the ability to have a good life and build a good financial situation for myself, I also wish this good life for everyone else in the world. So it hurts a bit when I see how little they care about their future, because I can't just say "screw em".
But lately I have put the greater things aside and just focused on my life. I guess I will keep doing that for a while and see where it ends up. People usually rise up when things get way too bad, I just wish they would be more proactive.
If things were better, we'd have less problems.
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Valeriy
Mage of the Land
Naughty, Naughty Valeriy
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posted January 03, 2006 08:02 PM |
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Yep, I agree about a lot of unnecessary purchases and judgement by productivity. Virtue is almost laughable now if it can't get you money. Almost like the goal in life is to produce the maximum amount of money.
I think television perpetuates separation, because that kind of person makes a better consumer.
I don't share your opinion about jobs though. I don't like jobs I think it's nice to be able to survive without a "job" and then find what you really want to do.
By the way, what is your ideal living situation - would you want to live in the city or away from it? Alone or with others? What country? Doing what?
____________
You can wait for others to do it, but if they don't know how, you'll wait forever.
Be an example of what you want to see on HC and in the world.
http://www.heroesofmightandmagic.com
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bjorn190
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Jebus maker
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posted January 04, 2006 12:35 AM |
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Quote:
Yep, I agree about a lot of unnecessary purchases and judgement by productivity. Virtue is almost laughable now if it can't get you money. Almost like the goal in life is to produce the maximum amount of money.
I think television perpetuates separation, because that kind of person makes a better consumer.
I don't share your opinion about jobs though. I don't like jobs I think it's nice to be able to survive without a "job" and then find what you really want to do.
By the way, what is your ideal living situation - would you want to live in the city or away from it? Alone or with others? What country? Doing what?
Well I don't really like jobs either.. but they are one of the fundamental building blocks of current society, so if everyone had one atm, the system would work better. But in the end, the lack of jobs in the general population is likely to be the cause of an evolution of how we view jobs and individual worth, and a renovation of the economic system. This is a neglected part of economics.
I would like to live in a nice big castle-like house somewhere where its warm but not hot, with alot of internet and nature, and where all my friends could live and play games. Or, I would like to live somewhere I could afford, probably in Stockholm, or right outside it.
I'd like to have a job in something I am good at, or maybe do something on my own. I'd like to have enough money to not have to worry about it. Especially considering the overwhelming importance of money today. But it's not really important.
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Vlaad
Admirable
Legendary Hero
ghost of the past
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posted January 07, 2006 10:10 PM |
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Quote:
Things I used to enjoy, like seeing friends, going to a movie; they're all fading now. It's like I cannot appreciate it as much when I know that so many innocent people are in pain in this world that we all share.
Would you describe the feeling as some irrational... guilt?
____________
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Nidhgrin
Honorable
Famous Hero
baking cookies from stardust
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posted January 08, 2006 12:01 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
Things I used to enjoy, like seeing friends, going to a movie; they're all fading now. It's like I cannot appreciate it as much when I know that so many innocent people are in pain in this world that we all share.
Would you describe the feeling as some irrational... guilt?
Here speaks the rational hehe 
I understand what Bjorn says here perfectly and yes, in a sense you're right.
- feelings are irrational most of the time
- guilt as in feeling you're letting the world down is still guilt
Maybe this makes more sense to you Vlaad:
From a deep feeling of empathy with life and compassion with those in pain you are unable to act and move through life as the main stream of people can. The more empathic you are, the more severe the conflict between how you are taught to live your life, and the way you feel life should be lived will become. Ultimately you must choose, and choose for a leap into the unknown, rowing against the tide.
If you are not an idealist, I can imagine a struggle like that must seem pretty irrational indeed
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted January 16, 2006 01:39 PM |
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Most dont care Bjorn.
Most care about what many do, thier own life, thier job, thier hopes for thier childrens future.
Theres a small Aura that surrounds what people care about.
It seems over populated this world & it seems theres alot of misjustice & also alot of careless disrespectfuls youths.
Many care about themselves.
Everyone chooses thier own road but remember, many are not alone & MANY HA VE IT WORST,& man I hate when caps come on lol.
Just sing that Michael Jackson song Bjorn,YOUR NOT ALONE
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