|
| Thread: Do you have a heart on??? |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
|
violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
|
posted February 12, 2007 07:26 PM |
|
|
Do you have a heart on???
Valentines Day???
Ok so the little half naked cupid is cute but let’s get real here. This is a woman made holiday, it is the official SAT test for men. First let’s get clear that I don’t include all women in this twisted thought however most do apply.
Freaking generic chocolates, half wilted flowers from the local grocery store (cheap ass), and for that real special gal on your list the sparkling princess cute diamond from Wal-Mart, for your viewing pleasure.
Men racing around at the last minute to buy their special “someone’s” a cute something to shut them up. You know that no matter what you get her she will be powdering her face while telling her girl friends in the local bar bathroom about how much of a prick you are. Sure she was the one that told you not to “waist your time” on a gift and save your money for that dream fishing trip or new game that you have wanted. Nonetheless, this my male buddies is not what she meant.
She really wanted you to plan the dinner on top of the sears tower with fake snow and still be able to maintain a comfortable 80 degrees so she looks great in that strapless dress you bought her on clearance last year. The janitors up there sweeping away pretending he knows nothing as you spring through the door in all your glory. There awaits the most beautiful velvet box and a dozen Italian silk roses, each with the anniversary date of your first kiss printed on them.
She wants you to make a public declaration of your love for her in front of all your manly counterparts. Weeks before the day she is franticly whipping through the house to find a remnant of what could be hers. She is giddy at thought that you sir have been planning something for months just for this profound day.
All the while you my funny man are paying little attention to anything other than those words said in that whinny voice, “ Don’t worry dear, you show me that you love me everyday with your smile, I have enough things and now all I need is you.” So between your cold beer and gaming time you’re not thinking of Valentines Day. Your thinking about how much damn money you’re going to be saving and how cool your girl is because she wants nothing more than your beer gut caressing her tight body at the end of the night.
It is the day before and she has just taken care of her oral fixation on you, something that she hasn’t done in years. . My God you say, with a tired grin, what have I done to deserve this? Well jack*** nothing yet and if memory serves me right it will be a repeat of last years clearance items.
Now you bring both parts of that warped mind together and start to think to yourself, what if she just said that to test me? What if this is all just a cover and her overly affectionate mouth only tends to work with promises of diamonds and pearls. Ok, so the pearl necklace you gave should be enough; now now let’s not be silly.
You are screwed, because a women knows a last minute gift when she sees it and we know that wide eyed fear that you have while presenting it as well. You would be better off running like hell out the back and leaving her with a nice poem.
Rose are red
Violets are blue
I’m the world’s biggest prick
But I still love you…
So boys with that being said good luck this year and remember..
It’s never enough
It’s always too little
On Valentine Day
Don’t ask your girl if her sister can be in the middle….
____________
Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
|
|
Lith-Maethor
Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
|
posted February 12, 2007 07:33 PM |
|
|
heh
this time of the year again, huh? ...well, some things never change I guess, for example my firm belief that Valentine's Day means absolutely nothing... to go to lengths to declare/display your love for one day while the rest of the year you treat your SO far worse, its quite hypocritical ...never have I done something special on V-day and I don't plan to start now ...all those "traditional" V-day things, I do at whim throughout the year, same goes for my gf ...so yeah, the rest of you, enjoy
____________
You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.
|
|
violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
|
|
posted February 12, 2007 07:40 PM |
|
|
I went into labor on Valentines, so those are great memories.
I love your comment, you can do special things all year not just one time during the year becaue the calendar says to..
____________
Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
|
|
Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
|
|
posted February 12, 2007 07:40 PM |
|
|
Yea then how come most of the men are the ones buying the flowers & the candy & the roses.
Lets face it, if we did not we would never get it 
____________
Dreaming of a Better World
|
|
violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
|
|
posted February 12, 2007 07:42 PM |
|
|
Because society has made it that way..
____________
Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
|
|
Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
|
|
posted February 12, 2007 07:43 PM |
|
|
It should be like the 70's
The women should be asking us out & proposing to us & buying uf flowers,candy & the roses 
____________
Dreaming of a Better World
|
|
violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
|
|
posted February 12, 2007 07:45 PM |
|
|
I asked my X to marry me… I picked flowers from the garden all the time and brought them to his office.
____________
Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
|
|
Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
|
|
posted February 12, 2007 07:48 PM |
|
|
Where are you at my gosh LOL.
Dont get me wrong I love buying stuff for my friends family.
It's something I wont stop doing but it is true that the majority of us usually have to buy those things.
____________
Dreaming of a Better World
|
|
Lith-Maethor
Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
|
posted February 12, 2007 07:48 PM |
|
|
oooh
where they violent?
____________
You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.
|
|
violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
|
|
posted February 12, 2007 07:50 PM |
|
|
Venus flytrap...
____________
Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
|
|
Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
|
|
posted February 12, 2007 07:53 PM |
|
|
I have that feeling that you are nice except for when someone pisses you off LOL.
____________
Dreaming of a Better World
|
|
Lith-Maethor
Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
|
|
posted February 12, 2007 08:13 PM |
|
|
flytraps eh?
gotta get myself one of those... going to name it audrey 3
____________
You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.
|
|
violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
|
|
posted February 13, 2007 01:31 AM |
|
|
Anyone want to give up what they are doing for their special someone or some ones?
____________
Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
|
|
Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
|
|
posted February 13, 2007 05:26 AM |
|
|
Not right now.
24 is on LOL.
____________
Dreaming of a Better World
|
|
dear_morons02
Bad-mannered
Tavern Dweller
|
|
posted February 14, 2007 12:41 AM |
|
|
|
nice topic u got here, u seem really intellgent, i like the way u think and look, i like the way u hav a shower and sleep, y yes i am a stalker, the stalker of love and compassion, always loving people
|
|
violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
|
|
posted February 14, 2007 01:00 AM |
|
|
Well hello stalker man.. I think I want to say than you and then part of me wants to find you help for your obvious drug problem..
____________
Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
|
|
dear_morons02
Bad-mannered
Tavern Dweller
|
|
posted February 14, 2007 03:36 AM |
- penalty applied. |
|
|
Translation by Lith: blah blah blah, I am an immature little kid that has nothing better to do than trying to piss other people off, look at me, I can use swear words, Wheeeee!
|
|
violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
|
|
posted February 14, 2007 03:39 AM |
|
|
I was referring to your stalker comment as a joke… Do you have a ******* problem with me? I don’t even know you so do me a favor and get the **** out of my thread *******!
____________
Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
|
|
the_gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
|
|
posted February 14, 2007 04:54 AM |
|
|
What's this?
Him?! Impossible. Can't be the same cat. It's been years since that jerkoff got banned.
That's right. His first name was Jerk, last name off.
This kid?
He's more like first name Patty, last name cake.
Best not to even give him the time of day.
He ain't long for this world.
____________
|
|
violent_flower
Promising
Supreme Hero
Almost there.
|
|
posted February 14, 2007 05:06 AM |
|
|
Oh he left, what shame…
____________
Learn how to duck and weave because I will throw truth at you all day!
|
|
|
|
