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| Thread: Times when you're away... | |
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Shai-Hulud
Known Hero
Sicomor
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posted May 12, 2007 01:28 AM |
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Times when you're away...
This is my first year of university, so I moved about 600 km away from home-town on the other side of Romania.
Last year was a hard year for me as I learned a kinda hard way ( not the hardest way ) that parents get older, have problems and not only other people's parents can pass away. As I mentioned I learnt this in a "kinda hard way", yet not the hardest. This came after my mother had a psychological breakdown and had a few suicide attempts, luckily with failure. Also I had university admission exams, an operation and a hard time trying to pace myself to the style of studying in university, and a few weeks ago I realized my dad is pass 60, an age which marks alot, as all of my grandparents died in their 60s. This last thought still haunts me, but what haunts me most is that I never realized it till now, my 20s.
With my departure, and the "help" of distance, I distanced myself from the problems at home , concentrating on my studies. Yet I tend to have rather quite difficult times, as I miss my high-school group of friends which we're so close to me and having problems to find people to my liking around here. Also, being in an academic enviroment revolving around computers, electronical devices and mathematics, "cold" faces are the norme around here.
As far as I know myself to have memories, I can say I put alot in my relationships with others, parents, friends and girlfriend, a pretty much opposite of the bully-type guy.
So, I am in the face of a total turn-over trying to overcome both social and studying problems( university is for sure not like flipping a coin).
Today my dad and mom visited their three sons on the other side of the country, one married and living in a nice apartament ( rented though ), me and the other son in another rented apartament ( not as nice, but still ok ) ...
And while waiting for their arrival, I found this, I only knew about Ugly Kid Joe's version, but this says it much better.
I miss the times home, when all came the natural way, with friends, family, girlfriend close(not 300 km away in her university town) and had to deal only youth's problems, which were actually not so much of a real problems.
P.S. Hoping others to respond to this thread not as a feeling of sympathy or maybe pity towards situations like mine, but just tell about their hard year at the time when they had to face this.Another side of this thread is that it isn't about missing just your parents, but mostly about that turning points in one's life when he is becoming what society wants him to be. As a last thought, I am not asking for help or advices, I am just trying to get something out.
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~~~Azzy~~~
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Shai-Hulud
Known Hero
Sicomor
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posted May 12, 2007 02:00 AM |
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The Lyrics for the song above
Cat's in the Cradle
by Sandy & Harry Chapin
My child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
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~~~Azzy~~~
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Colonel_here
Adventuring Hero
Descendant of Ghengis Khan
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posted May 12, 2007 05:41 AM |
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Well the hard year for me was when I immigrated to Canada. The whole family had a hard time. New language, new country, and nobody around that you actually know or to help you. Or even in my case those who were supposed to help me instead screwed me over.
However in my opinion this experience made me fight stronger for my place under the sun.
Overall I beleive that a person must experience some sort of difficulties in the life in order to become stronger. That is why I never back off from difficult things in my life.
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"The job of saving the lives of those who are sinking is the task of those who are sinking" - Ostap Bender
"Only a fool fights a battle he knows he can not win" - Ghengiz Khan
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Consis
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Of Ruby
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posted May 12, 2007 06:15 AM |
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Hmm ...
My wife and I have discussed this very subject at great lengths on many occasions. It is something that takes place in the name of freedom and adulthood. When you leave home and are old enough to start work, college, and live on your own:
Some people feel free. Some people become acutely aware of the true nature of their friendships they once had. In some of those friendships they realize that it was only because you lived close to them. Once you move away those once great friends stop talking to you. Some people come to realize their opinions suddenly matter to the community they now live in, whereas before they were children whom nobody would listen to. Some people discover an entire world has been there to sample, test, and investigate all the while that they lived in their safe little bubble of a protective family. And all, no matter who you are, come to learn some very hard and simple truths about life as an adult human being. Laws now affect you in every way that matters and even some ways that don't. People whom you have never met, and probably never will, are making decisions that affect your life in some of the most basic and intrinsic ways. Some people come to see themselves as human beings, a person, a character, a boss, a trusted business friend, a soldier's buddy, a long lost love, a community representative, a prison inmate, a religious recruiter door-to-door, merely an animal, or simply the problem to the solution and vice versa.
Where ever you find yourself, you may find that you are indeed not alone. And this is a good thing. That's why it's good to come here to Heroes Community and tell us your story. We could use the good company providing your spirit remains heroic to the bitter end. And even if it isn't we'll still welcome you back just the same. Thanks for sharing.
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Roses Are Red And So Am I
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted May 12, 2007 06:23 AM |
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Ah nothing like going to your own domain knowing everything is where you left it.
Becoming a man.
Learning responsibility.
Maturing.
Lonely at times but you start to find out that seeing your parents once in awhile instead of everyday builds up a relationship in a healthier sence.
Do what you want without permission or worrying what would happen if you come home.
Of course the otherside of the coin is the responsibilities.
Every decision is far worst then living at home.
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted May 12, 2007 08:27 AM |
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Quote:
This is my first year of university, so I moved about 600 km away from home-town on the other side of Romania.
Not many good Universities in Romania?
I have to travel 80 km 4 days a week to go to TAFE in Adelaide, because the TAFE in my town doesn't have any good programming courses.
Quote:
Last year was a hard year for me as I learned a kinda hard way ( not the hardest way ) that parents get older, have problems and not only other people's parents can pass away. As I mentioned I learnt this in a "kinda hard way", yet not the hardest. This came after my mother had a psychological breakdown and had a few suicide attempts, luckily with failure. Also I had university admission exams, an operation and a hard time trying to pace myself to the style of studying in university, and a few weeks ago I realized my dad is pass 60, an age which marks alot, as all of my grandparents died in their 60s. This last thought still haunts me, but what haunts me most is that I never realized it till now, my 20s.
Age and marriage can cause a lot of problems, not only to themselves but to others. Suicide is still a big problem, even today, but at least your Mother has found solace.
As four your Dad, if your grandparents died in their 60s, in doesn't mean that your father would do the same. Maybe he had better lifestyle choices.
Quote:
With my departure, and the "help" of distance, I distanced myself from the problems at home , concentrating on my studies. Yet I tend to have rather quite difficult times, as I miss my high-school group of friends which we're so close to me and having problems to find people to my liking around here. Also, being in an academic enviroment revolving around computers, electronical devices and mathematics, "cold" faces are the norme around here.
I miss a few of my high school friends as well, though I still live in my home town and I do see some of them time to time, but it's no excuse to be an outsider, because later on people will act more friendly towards you and vice versa. Learning environments are great for meeting new people who you can call 'friends'.
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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homam
Known Hero
Sailor of the open seas
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posted May 20, 2007 11:38 PM |
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well there are worse dude.don't be desperate.I was in a cargo ship for 6 months 2km away from my home.My dad was for 2 years away from us in a ship when i was 2 years old.
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I think we aren't in Kansas anymore Toto
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Shai-Hulud
Known Hero
Sicomor
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posted May 21, 2007 06:10 PM |
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Quote:
well there are worse dude.don't be desperate.I was in a cargo ship for 6 months 2km away from my home.My dad was for 2 years away from us in a ship when i was 2 years old.
I was neither desperate neither mad neither anything. I know it's something one must face in his lifetime. When i wrote the above topic i was very plain I can say. Neither sad, neither happy. A bit displeased by the turning event, but still ok. I was merely trying to get people talk about how they managed to take and go trough the transition of being a parents baby (yes you are 22 and you are still your parents baby, as long as you will live with them - talking in general, not to you HoMaM ) 
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