|
|
Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
|
posted March 04, 2009 07:07 PM |
|
|
Quote:
Why the heck you would need any guidance? Just smile and if you feel the time is right, just take her pants off. No questions. No asking for allowance. It's easy. 
Sums it up perfectly. No bragging or stuff but when the mood is right you don't actually ask. If she doesn't take them off by herself before you even get there just do it. What's the worst that could happen anyways^^? (just in case you imagine horror scenarious nothing bad is going to come from it ^^)
____________
"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
|
|
baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
|
|
posted March 04, 2009 09:05 PM |
|
|
God?
You there?
It's Baklava.
Well... As you probably know, I'm not much of an, ehm, prayer type of guy. I usually let you handle things the way you want to. I mean, you're omniscient and stuff, and I'm just... hairy.
But uhm... I've got a favour I'd like to ask you.
Please... please, God... I beg you...
Please let it turn out that Emil's girlfriend actually has a penis.
Please.
It would also be awesome if you could send me the photo of his facial expression over the, you know, dreams or visions or whatever you're the most comfortable with.
I promise, you do that, and I'll shoot Muslims for the rest of my life.
Thanks in advance. Keep being awesome.
|
|
Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
|
|
posted March 04, 2009 09:07 PM |
|
|
Thank you so much for that 
____________
H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
|
|
emilsn
Legendary Hero
|
|
posted March 04, 2009 09:11 PM |
|
|
@Bak - I am still laughing
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
|
|
Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
|
|
posted March 04, 2009 09:12 PM |
|
Edited by Azagal at 21:13, 04 Mar 2009.
|
Dude.... you're cruel evil orgasmic vile different strange ehm... pretty much at a loss of words here... but you get the picture?
Now if you could just stop being hillarious from time to time so I could actually get mad at you for once...
EDIT: On a different sidenote... I'd love to hear how you get a women out of her pants^^
____________
"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
|
|
Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
|
|
posted March 04, 2009 09:15 PM |
|
|
Just you wait till his prayers are answered 
____________
H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
|
|
Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
|
|
posted March 04, 2009 09:19 PM |
|
|
Quote:
EDIT: On a different sidenote... I'd love to hear how you get a women out of her pants^^
See, that's where we're different, I prefer to see that.
____________
DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
|
|
baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
|
|
posted March 04, 2009 09:20 PM |
|
Edited by baklava at 21:23, 04 Mar 2009.
|
Quote:
EDIT: On a different sidenote... I'd love to hear how you get a women out of her pants^^
I bet you would, you weirdo, I bet you would
By the way, when people start telling me I'm "orgasmic" and then hurry up to strikethrough that, that's a pretty sure sign I should lay low on the internetz for a while. 
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
|
posted March 04, 2009 09:30 PM |
|
|
Quote:
EDIT: On a different sidenote... I'd love to hear how you get a women out of her pants^^
How do I do it? answer: ugh, with my hands?
Next question?
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
Holy1
Tavern Dweller
|
|
posted March 04, 2009 09:43 PM |
|
|
Yes my child. I am here. Always here.
I really do wish you would pray more. There are some things we need to discuss. You know what I'm talking about.
Hairy? Have you seen the way I made Indians? Now THEY are hairy. I always thought that was one of my better jokes.
Now I must tell you, I'm not one to do "favours" however, I may make an exception in this case. But don't get your hopes up you little hairball. God is a busy all knowing and all powerful being. As far as the Muslims go, you really don't need to shoot them. They have no problem exterminating themselves. Besides, we think they're actually kind of cute the way they call me Allah and think I have 70 virgins waiting up here for them. HA!
Yours always and Forever,
GOD
P.S. AWESOME is my middle name
____________
|
|
baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
|
|
posted March 04, 2009 10:31 PM |
|
|
Dude. Whoever you are, come on. I was just kidding.
There is no God here. This is the OSM.
|
|
Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
|
|
posted March 04, 2009 10:37 PM |
|
|
<*smells a lucrative business*>
Take your bets Gentlemen (and ladies also), who this Heavenly dude really is. $10 per bet, winner takes it all!!
For the Love O' Money.
____________
Coincidence? I think not!!!!
|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
|
posted March 05, 2009 09:57 AM |
|
|
You?
Btw. She turned 16 yesterday. I am a criminal in fewer countries now!
Well, never mind. Y'know guys. Being with a physically perfect woman (ok, girl ) IS brainwashing. If I had to turn to an ordinary girl now, I'd not be even a bit attracted. Come on, after spending some time looking at & caressing the perfect shapes, when you look at a common Polish girl, all you can say is: yuck. Flatness here, fat there, and that repulsive rectangular figure. Not to mention skin problems and too much HAIR >_> (I think women should have hair only on their heads. Nowhere else and no MUSTACHE please, don't laugh but it happens wayy to often, especially with dark haired girls.. >_> ). How'd I ever get attracted to a common girl now? And, well, I'm sure that my current thingy won't last too long. It's just a suspicion, but I'm pretty much sure :E
So, I enjoy the moment and I firmly believe her butt should be sculptured in Mt. Rushmore, right next to president Lincoln, as an epitome of perfect roundness.
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
angelito
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
proud father of a princess
|
|
posted March 05, 2009 11:44 AM |
|
|
Quote:
God?
You there?
It's Baklava.
Well... As you probably know, I'm not much of an, ehm, prayer type of guy. I usually let you handle things the way you want to. I mean, you're omniscient and stuff, and I'm just... hairy.
But uhm... I've got a favour I'd like to ask you.
Please... please, God... I beg you...
Please let it turn out that Emil's girlfriend actually has a penis.
Please.
It would also be awesome if you could send me the photo of his facial expression over the, you know, dreams or visions or whatever you're the most comfortable with.
I promise, you do that, and I'll shoot Muslims for the rest of my life.Thanks in advance. Keep being awesome.
Even though this is quite a funny phrase, I dislike the colored part. Maybe you can replace it with "chipmunks", "aliens" or "chippendales"?
____________
Better judged by 12 than carried by 6.
|
|
Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
|
|
posted March 05, 2009 12:13 PM |
|
|
Quote:
By the way, when people start telling me I'm "orgasmic"
Does it say orgasmic ?I'm pretty sure I ment to write organic...
____________
"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
|
|
baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
|
|
posted March 05, 2009 03:25 PM |
|
Edited by baklava at 15:28, 05 Mar 2009.
|
Quote:
my thingy won't last too long
Just found myself unable not to quote this.
@Angelito
But that'd make it offensive to chipmunks Besides, if some aliens are watching over this forum right now, I'd find myself in deep sh... trouble.
I was never a fan of selective censorship. If I can make a joke on Christianity's account, it's only fair that I may mention Muslims too while I'm at it. It wasn't meant to demean or insult anyone; I hoped that was apparent enough - I'll be sure to let you guys know if some angry extremists bomb my house to pieces though.
But, if you insist, the only fair solution - if we're to be completely politically correct - would be to delete that entire post... but I just don't have the heart to do it.  You feel free to, of course. You're the mod. I'm just hairy.
|
|
emilsn
Legendary Hero
|
|
posted March 07, 2009 12:29 PM |
|
|
I hate myself..
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
|
|
DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
|
|
posted March 07, 2009 12:48 PM |
|
|
What happened, emil?
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
|
posted March 07, 2009 05:09 PM |
|
|
maybe he lost his innocence.
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
|
|
posted March 07, 2009 05:45 PM |
|
|
Quote:
I hate myself..
I just can't decide whether I should persuade you to tell us what exactly happened in a desperate attempt to get rid of the painful anticipation I'm undergoing right now, or just to savour the moment and browse through all the endless possibilities of what could've gone wrong. ^^
Nah, seriously, just chill. Whatever happened, chances are we've all (or most of us) been through that. Chances also are that someone's case was probably worse and at least a bit more humiliating. So relax. Unless you lost control and raped her, killed her, took out her inner organs with a kitchen knife and then threw her remains into a river. In which case, please post the details. 
|
|
|
|
This Popular Thread is pages long: 
