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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted July 02, 2009 07:26 PM |
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I already told her and I think she took a little bad.. maybe because I like didn't use all my potent speechs abilities
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Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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TheDeath
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with serious business
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posted July 02, 2009 07:50 PM |
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What do you mean? What did she say? Why would she take it bad?
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JollyJoker
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posted July 02, 2009 08:25 PM |
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Quote: I already told her and I think she took a little bad.. maybe because I like didn't use all my potent speechs abilities
Maybe you should just think less...
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted July 02, 2009 08:57 PM |
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Pretty tough to not think
Well Death, sometimes she doesn't get my messages because of the mobilenet, you know, when you send one and then suddenly 8days later you get it
2things: She said the thing with the phone and her personality - she is a quite girl and I know that - but that doesn't stop her from sending a message saying: how was your day?
You know? that is all I want .. just to hear from her
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Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted July 02, 2009 09:53 PM |
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Quote:
Quote: And just because you find somebody else attractive, and even (in the moment) more attractive than the one you're married (etc.) to, does that mean you love that other person more?
No.
It means your lust is starting to take over love Quote: I think love and lust are two very different things.
Yes.
The question is, is lust more important/powerful for you than love?
And yes like JJ said, cheating is lying. However, one does not need to cheat to not have as much love as he seems/want to says he/she has. Basically if something goes or overrides your love, then something is wrong with your love. Whether it be lust, deviousness (lying) or something else.
Again, you ask that question based on the premise that it has to be either/or.
And I know by modern society and moral standards, that's how it is.
Like I simply stated previously, had it not been for our cultural/religious history, we might have looked on things differently. I'm pretty certain some cultures have. It would probably be easier, maybe even healthier for relationships.
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What will happen now?
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JollyJoker
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posted July 02, 2009 10:04 PM |
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Maybe you should just think less...
Quote: Pretty tough to not think
If that joke was intended that way - you should maybe work on your self-esteem.
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TheDeath
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posted July 02, 2009 10:35 PM |
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Quote: Well Death, sometimes she doesn't get my messages because of the mobilenet, you know, when you send one and then suddenly 8days later you get it
To be honest, that never happened to me.
Why text her? Why not call her instead?
@alcibiades: Ok, let's just say, since you use the human nature argument, it's in human nature to be jealous or whatever you wanna call it... and I'm talking from the wife's point of view here. She doesn't like it, but you do it, because your lust > your love for her (if you loved her more, you would stop, for her, of course).
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alcibiades
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posted July 02, 2009 10:38 PM |
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Quote: @alcibiades: Ok, let's just say, since you use the human nature argument, it's in human nature to be jealous or whatever you wanna call it...
Is it? I'm not so sure ...
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TheDeath
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posted July 02, 2009 10:42 PM |
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Nevertheless, it implies that you would rather spend time with lust than with her.
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JollyJoker
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posted July 02, 2009 10:44 PM |
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Death, you are sexist!
Women are cheating as well as men.
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TheDeath
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posted July 02, 2009 10:52 PM |
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Obviously I am talking from men point of view, since I am a man myself.
(however, it is of note in statistics that men are more likely to cheat on average).
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Doomforge
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posted July 02, 2009 10:56 PM |
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Ahh, the good old "she doesn't call but I call all the time".
First step to relationship failure.
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JollyJoker
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posted July 02, 2009 11:05 PM |
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Quote: Obviously I am talking from men point of view, since I am a man myself.
(however, it is of note in statistics that men are more likely to cheat on average).
Which could be interpreted that more single women will agree to an adventure with a married man than vice versa? (Because every man cheats his wife with another woman.)
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DagothGares
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posted July 02, 2009 11:05 PM |
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Is it just me or does doomforge start to sound pretentious?
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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mvassilev
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Undefeatable Hero
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posted July 02, 2009 11:07 PM |
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Well, old chap, far be it from me to judge, but his old walking stick does seem to have a bit of a swagger, wot?
o_q
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TheDeath
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posted July 02, 2009 11:11 PM |
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Quote: Which could be interpreted that more single women will agree to an adventure with a married man than vice versa?
Only if they find out
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alcibiades
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posted July 03, 2009 08:12 AM |
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Quote: Nevertheless, it implies that you would rather spend time with lust than with her.
See, this is where I think your interpretation is culturally flawed - or at least, that you write off natural urges as something (morally) bad.
I think it's a natural drift that many people become tempted by something new when they've been in a relationship for a long time. We may not like it or approve of it, but I think it's well documented (from science and everyday events!) that it happens. Of course we can resist this by will power - and we may say that's the (morally) right thing to do, but I do think it's just that: Morally right, but not naturally right.
I think there has been cultures which has made this distinguishment between love (and: love + sex) and "just sex" (i.e.: sex for lust) succesfully - but then, I wouldn't know, as I've never lived in one. I do think, however, that in the (utopic) situation where it could work, it would make things easier and people happier - but then, there would probably be some people who didn't like it, just as there is now with the current system.
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JollyJoker
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posted July 03, 2009 08:55 AM |
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Alci, I don't think it's that easy. First this:
Quote: I think it's a natural drift that many people become tempted by something new when they've been in a relationship for a long time.
I'd say that this is seeing things under a certain perspective. I would rather say, that with the way life is running for the middle class (the regular worling people), for most everyday life will become a routine. Day-in, day-out, week after week after month after year. The same thing is, then, true for sex. Even the most tasty dish will become stale, if you eat it day after day, so it's clear that a relationship needs a minimum of creativity to work over a longer time. If that creativity is missing, it becomes boring.
Now, there are reasons why this is so, but let's at the moment simply state, that in the end it amounts to both parties missing the energy to leave the well-trodden path of that routine.
Seeing something new and reacting on it is simply easier, because creativity get's an outside input, so-to-speak.
The problem here is, of course, that when that happens, breaking out of the routine has been overdue anyway at that point.
Obviously, now, the division between lust and love has been made in SLAVE societies, and since a slave wasn't considered a "threat" (slaves are things you use, not "real" persons; so if the wife was pregnant, there was no problem for the husband to use a slave to quell his lust in the end. Or, the other way round, if the husband was on a tour round his lands or away buying some ships or whatever, the wife would of course make use of a slave).
There are kinds of aspects interwoven with this, but UNDER EQUALS promiscuity has never been much en vogue as soon as the economy got a bit more complex (if you want discuss that, fine, but that's going a bit far).
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EDIT: I'll spare the politically motivated marriages in earlier times, because that was business.
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In any case, a division of lust and love in our society of equals is - in my eyes - impossible, because most people don't just lust after someone as an object of your lust due to interesting primary and secondary sexual characteristics - we have just become too complicated for that.
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alcibiades
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posted July 03, 2009 10:55 AM |
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Quote: The same thing is, then, true for sex. Even the most tasty dish will become stale, if you eat it day after day, so it's clear that a relationship needs a minimum of creativity to work over a longer time. If that creativity is missing, it becomes boring.
Now, there are reasons why this is so, but let's at the moment simply state, that in the end it amounts to both parties missing the energy to leave the well-trodden path of that routine.
Seeing something new and reacting on it is simply easier, because creativity get's an outside input, so-to-speak.
The problem here is, of course, that when that happens, breaking out of the routine has been overdue anyway at that point.
Good point.
Quote: In any case, a division of lust and love in our society of equals is - in my eyes - impossible, because most people don't just lust after someone as an object of your lust due to interesting primary and secondary sexual characteristics - we have just become too complicated for that.
I fully agree, in our society, those two are not seperable. We have far too much cultural/religious heritage to do that. However, I still think that sometimes, people equate the two too much - or puts one as a hinderance for the other.
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JollyJoker
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posted July 03, 2009 11:41 AM |
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"How was your day, darling?"
"Pretty slow, actually. However, I took the opportunity to make a pass on the redhead who came to us 6 weeks ago. I told you about her, remember? She's nicely shaped and has this sinewy look of nervous energy which seldom fails to turn me on."
"Yes, now that you mention it, I remember. And?"
"Well, she reacted favorably. Later she told me what she really liked about me from the day we first met were my hands and that the had wanted to feel them. We passed lunch and went into Clarke's office. You know, he's on vacation, so it's empty, and he has that big leather sofa there."
"Really? That sounds interesting. And? How was she?"
"Well, her boobs are spectacular and her pelvic floor muscles are in a pretty good shape - which reminds me: how about your exercises?"
"I met Jack today, when I was shopping. You know, Jack Klein, my high school crush. We had a latte first to talk about good old times, and a wine later, at which point I had decided to stop dry-exercising for the afternoon and try the real thing."
"What a coincidence! And?"
"Well, the exercise is showing, too much so, actually, at least for him, so it was a rather short pleasure. Come to think of it, maybe as a grown-up you shouldn't try to revive your youth memories. It will only ruin them for you."
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Now, err, Sheila - the redhead - she asked me about the weekend. You know, lunch pause is only half an hour, and so we had to make a bit too short work of it. Plus, Clarke's sofa may look comfortable, but doesn't feel so. In any case, do you have plans for the weekend?"
"Well, didn't we want to go to that exhibition that opened on Monday? Ah, never mind, that will stay for two months, we could go next week, still. Well, go then. I may give Dicky a call. You know, the trainer from fitness club. Go to the stadium, watch a Ball game, then on to his flat. I think, he has an eye on me anyway.
"Great, I phone Sheila."
About this way, Alci?
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