Heroes of Might and Magic Community
visiting hero! Register | Today's Posts | Games | Search! | FAQ/Rules | AvatarList | MemberList | Profile


Age of Heroes Headlines:  
5 Oct 2016: Heroes VII development comes to an end.. - read more
6 Aug 2016: Troubled Heroes VII Expansion Release - read more
26 Apr 2016: Heroes VII XPack - Trial by Fire - Coming out in June! - read more
17 Apr 2016: Global Alternative Creatures MOD for H7 after 1.8 Patch! - read more
7 Mar 2016: Romero launches a Piano Sonata Album Kickstarter! - read more
19 Feb 2016: Heroes 5.5 RC6, Heroes VII patch 1.7 are out! - read more
13 Jan 2016: Horn of the Abyss 1.4 Available for Download! - read more
17 Dec 2015: Heroes 5.5 update, 1.6 out for H7 - read more
23 Nov 2015: H7 1.4 & 1.5 patches Released - read more
31 Oct 2015: First H7 patches are out, End of DoC development - read more
5 Oct 2016: Heroes VII development comes to an end.. - read more
[X] Remove Ads
LOGIN:     Username:     Password:         [ Register ]
HOMM1: info forum | HOMM2: info forum | HOMM3: info mods forum | HOMM4: info CTG forum | HOMM5: info mods forum | MMH6: wiki forum | MMH7: wiki forum
Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Hall Of Villains
Thread: Hall Of Villains This thread is 5 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 · «PREV / NEXT»
Mytical
Mytical


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
posted September 13, 2008 01:27 PM

You also forgot the absolute worse villian of all time.  One so horrible, so terrible that their very name would send shivers down the spines of the worse already posted here.

I speak of course of that evil, vile, terrible person known as Mytical.  

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | PP | Quote Reply | Link
william
william


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
posted September 13, 2008 01:28 PM

Mytical is soft and couldn't hurt a fly.  

Did you see the villans that I posted on page 1? Why don't you include them?

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted September 13, 2008 01:31 PM

Cus I haven't seen all of them and I hate quoting the wikipedia page. Plus, I got pics of about eighty villains... To comment on each and every one of them will take time. I will also see if mytical, MM and doom are worthy of posting them like villains. (i suppose so, but I'm still quite a noobie)
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
william
william


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
posted September 13, 2008 01:33 PM

Well, maybe I could help you? I mean, I really like to analyse movies and I remember everything quite well. I would be happy to help with some villains if you want?

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted September 13, 2008 01:35 PM

please do. that would it make it so much more fun to see someone else's view on a villain!
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
william
william


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
posted September 13, 2008 01:36 PM

Alright, sweet. I will get to work right now. Do you want them to be serious or humourous in a way? I would find it kinda hard if I was to write funny stuff about Jason Vorhees

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Cepheus
Cepheus


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Far-flung Keeper
posted September 13, 2008 01:37 PM

I know all of the good Might and Magic villains and can write paragraph upon paragraph of useless trivia about each.  Want some help with that?

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted September 13, 2008 01:38 PM

Whatever suits you best, I suppose. forcing someone to write in a certain way won't yield best results.

I would like might and magic villains as well, cepheus, then I wouldn't butcher the lore
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Asheera
Asheera


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Elite Assassin
posted September 13, 2008 02:47 PM

SPOILERS AHEAD, ABOUT NEVERWINTER NIGHTS: HORDES OF THE UNDERDARK!

#21 Mephistopheles, the Lord of the Eight Hell
Real name: Mephistopheles
Job: Arch-Devil
Description: One nasty villain that wants to transform the entire Material Plane into the tenth Hell, Mephistopheles' powers are unmatched. In NWN:HotU's plot, he first appears as Valsharess' slave, but in fact he is tricking her. After the protagonist defeats Valsharess' armies, Mephistopheles' powers teleport the hero to the Drow Matron's chamber using one of the hero's artifacts, the "Relic of the Reaper", which is a piece of Mephisto's flesh (the protagonist doesn't know this, of course). The Valsharess orders Mephisto to kill our hero, but he betrays her and kills all her Elite Guards, knowing that the protagonist has the power to kill her, and therefore "release" Mephistopheles from the "slavery". And it is true. Once you kill the Valsharess, Mephisto is free to bring suffering to the entire Material Plane, and his first action is to kill you and send you to Cania, the Eight Hell and former home of Mephistopheles. After you manage to get out of Hell (it's a long story), you find out that Mephistopheles has made his way up to the surface (from the Underdark) and has an army of tortured spirits (ghosts) which he raised all by himself. You are the last hope of the entire Material Plane, and have to fight Mephistopheles. Eventually you are able to defeat him, though it's extremely hard and even impossible with some Character Builds/Parties


btw, how about you add them to the master post?
____________

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | PP | Quote Reply | Link
DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted September 13, 2008 02:48 PM
Edited by DagothGares at 14:21, 14 Sep 2008.

good idea...

EDIT: updated, aslo fixed terminator...In a few secs
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
TheDeath
TheDeath


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
posted September 14, 2008 02:20 PM

Hey Dagoth, why didn't you fix the Terminator's name?

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
TitaniumAlloy
TitaniumAlloy


Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
posted September 14, 2008 02:34 PM
Edited by TitaniumAlloy at 14:34, 14 Sep 2008.



DK, DONKEY, DONKEY KONG
Real Name: Donkey Kong
Job: Professional princess stealer, barrel stacker and just general badass.
Description:
Donkey Kong is a giant ape with a penchant for stealing Princess Peach and pissing off Mario. No one really knows why he steals Princess Peach all the time and puts her at the top of a scaffolding (because no one really likes Princess, too high maintenance) but his nemesis, the hero Mario, is always there to save her (for some reason). Just to make it hard for Mario, Donkey periodically rolls barrels down at him, to his peril.
Not many people recognise Donkey as a villain. Some think he is a distant relative of the imfamous 'King Kong', while others just think he is a cute, lovable hero with a banana fetish. This is, in fact, a fallacy, because shortly after his barrel throwing days were over Donkey Kong put on a cute red tie to cover his monkey nuts and set off on an adventure with a smaller ape to do a bunch of random things, resulting in a whole barrel of hi-jinks and excitement.

This, however, is just a front, as Donkey Kong is one of the original villains from whom all modern day villains (Lex Luthor, Darth Vader, Severus Snape, Osama bin Laden, Sarah Palin etc.) learn from.

Nice try, Donkey.
____________
John says to live above hell.

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | PP | Quote Reply | Link
JoonasTo
JoonasTo


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
posted September 14, 2008 02:36 PM

Actually that's a different donkey kong. The real donkey kong in DK counrty is cranky kong. The old man with a stick who beats the younger DK all the time
____________
DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | PP | Quote Reply | Link
DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted September 14, 2008 02:55 PM
Edited by DagothGares at 14:57, 14 Sep 2008.

Fixed the terminator (in the masterpost, I remember that the original needs yet to be fixed)

Thanks TA for your contribution

GLADE VILLAIN

#4 snot nosed orc
Real name: Goober
Job: scout, underling
Description: This is a fun, quirky bad guy who's job is more to annoy than to pose a genuine. He immediately starts in the story by shooting an arrow in the bum ofour poor dear milena Luckily he apologised afterwards He also works for dark elves apparently, despite the fact he's an orc. He als has a greater master, indicating that all evil DOES work together. He also heightens the quality of that RP, since t gets a bit... not fun...

VILLAINS

#26 Grisnàkh
real name: Grisnàkh
job: Orc hunter/ scavenger
fescrîption: This guy is a blood thirsty raider, a monster. he wants to eat the hobbits who were going to be taken to Isengard. he also works under Sauron and was sent as some spy for Saruman to see what is done with the ring or the search for it. his role is small, but we can see the horror of a true orc inside him and that's alway a nice feel

SPOILER: MOVIE: THE STRANGERS

#27 The Strangers
Real names: unknown
Job: unknown
Description: These guys are scary. They are like ghosts, fast and elusive. They are smart, prepared and ruthless. I did not really like them, since I hardly believe them. the movie they were in was pretty atmospherical and the masks kinda enhanced that. They are also inhumanly fast, which is stragen, given the fact that they are just serial killers in the end, not monsters or anything. Their faces are never shown and the motivation for their crimes is unoriginal and boring. I would judge them average, but in this movie, I liked the protagonist more, but I suppose that's what the movie was about, BUT I always think that deepening out a character is always a good thing to do. In moderation, off course.
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted September 16, 2008 06:02 PM
Edited by DagothGares at 18:03, 16 Sep 2008.

#28 Silas
Real name: Unknown
Job: Hired hit/ monk
Description: This is one of the worst portrayals of a character in a movie. I'm serious. I liked him in the book. He gave you this feeling of: "Hmmm... Maybe he's right." or "He's not a bad guy.", but it gets kicked in the head and all the characters are either benvolent, lovely and brilliant, just like most of Dan Brown's fictional characters. But let's ignore my liquid hatred for the butchers and talk about the character. Silas has a tragic past, which is in itself quite unoriginal, but in some odd way, he inspires some sympathy. He's devout and loyal to his church, while being used as a pawn in a so-called bigger plot. Silas is actually well developped and has an interesting relation towards the priest who cared for him.
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted September 23, 2008 10:52 PM
Edited by DagothGares at 23:07, 23 Sep 2008.

SPOILER: END OF THE FIRST LORD OF THE RINGS MOVIE

# 30 Lurtz
real name: lurtz
job: Captain
Description: This guy is one of the strongest and first uruk-hai. Unlike most uruk-hai, he was very smart and skilled in combat, instead of being a mere brute. Lurtz was ordered by his master to find the halfling, carrying the Ring. He was taught in tactics to avoid Rohan encounters on his way to the fellowship. He is also responsible for boromir’s death in one of the most touching moments of the movie. He’s just a big brute, actually with a tactical mind set and unyielding loyalty towards his master, hence the reason that sneaky and tricky orcs were sent as agents of Sauron to make sure that saruman didn’t go out of line. It’s ironical that these orcs screwed up and not the uruk-hai.

SPOILER: MAIN PLOT OF MORROWIND

#31 Dagoth Ur
job: sixth house leader
Description: Dagoth ur is a calculating foe. He’s not loaded with action or adrenaline. He’s immortal and a traitor. He has many servants and none of them have any aesthetic appeal whatsoever. He does act like an immortal would act. His plans can take hundreds of years to work out. His past is dirty and giv you the feeling that in this conflict there are no real villains. Vivec, Almalexia and Dagoth Ur were allies or servants of indoril nerevar, the protagonist. Nerevar died in a conspiracy forged by Vivec and Almalexia. Dagoth ur was afraid and took the mightiest weapons and his most trusted servants to the heart of a volcano, called mount Doom red mountain. There he wants to build a gigantic moloch, called Lorkhan to destroy the world. He attains immortality, while Vivec and almalexia did likewise. Many battles follow and, in the end, vivec and Almalexia are weak, but they had claimed many artifacts and dagoth ur was amassing power in his hideout.

Dagoth Ur’s cult is the symbol of disease, nightmares and the ash deserts. Because of the volcano in the center of the mountain, that he uses as a forge for his great weapon (Am I the only seeing parallels with lord of the rings?) the island is covered with ash or swamps. The more you get to the center of the island, the more madmen and monsters you’ll encounter.

SPOILER: POP SANDS OF TIME

#32 the Vizier
real name: uhh…
Job: vizier
Description: The vizier is a tricky old man. He manipulates the sultan and betrays his other master, the maharadja. Because of this, the sands of times are released and doom washes over the world. He has this ongoing quest of reaching immortality. In general, he’s very skilled in playing with the heads of people, causing doubt in the mind of the protagonist at times. His motivation isn’t very well worked out, but as a compensation, he’s a weak old man who dabbles in magic... a little...

GLADE VILLAIN

Dingo
Real name: Dingo
Job: Depends... let’s just call him the God of dark SPAM
Description: Dingo is a quirky villain, who started out first as a hero. Luckily, he wanted to become a king and sit on a throne for the rest of his life, which caused him to turn and attack Woock, the god of SPAM. After a chaotic and frzntic struggle, Woock was forced to flee and dingo got to sit on the throne. He was soon forced to flee as others found out and with the help of another turncoat, he became a god by sacrificing mvass. He gained the ability to summon dark spam creatures who pretty much resembled the ghouls of Warcraft 3.

He was a funny villain and I hope all went well with the bastard.

____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Asheera
Asheera


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Elite Assassin
posted September 23, 2008 11:03 PM

lol Dingo's description was great
____________

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | PP | Quote Reply | Link
DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted October 02, 2008 12:12 AM

Stumbled upon this:

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

1. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

2. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

3. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

4. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

5. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

6. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
7. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

8. 7.All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

9. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

10. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

11. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

12. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

13. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

14. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

15. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

16. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

17. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

18. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

19. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

20. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

21. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

22. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

23. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

24. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

25. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

26. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

27. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

28. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

29. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

30. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

31. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

32. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

33. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

34. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

35. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

36. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

37. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

38. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

39. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

40. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

41. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

42. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

43. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

44. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

45. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

46. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

47. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

48. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

49. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

50. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

51. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

52. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

53. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

54. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

55. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

56. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

57. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

58. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

59. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

60. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

61. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

62. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

63. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

64. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

65. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

66. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

67. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

68. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

69. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

70. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

71. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

72. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

73. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

74. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

75. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

76. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

77. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

78. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

79. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

80. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

81. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

82. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

83. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

84. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

85. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

86. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

87. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

88. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

89. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

90. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

91. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

92. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

93. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

94. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

95. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited internet acces.

____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Darkshadow
Darkshadow


Legendary Hero
Cerise Princess
posted October 18, 2008 04:43 PM

Quote:
61. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.


You should have it check if the person is dead or not, too (of all things we learned from bond movies...).And instead of alarm (in wich time by the guards come there, the door can be breached), you should have automated sentry gun system
____________

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Lord_Woock
Lord_Woock


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Daddy Cool with a $90 smile
posted October 18, 2008 04:48 PM

I am disgusted that the list doesn't include Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon.
____________
Yolk and God bless.
---
My buddy's doing a webcomic and would certainly appreciate it if you checked it out!

 Send Instant Message | Send E-Mail | View Profile | Quote Reply | Link
Jump To: « Prev Thread . . . Next Thread » This thread is 5 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 · «PREV / NEXT»
Post New Poll    Post New Topic    Post New Reply

Page compiled in 0.1098 seconds