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Heroes Community > Tavern of the Rising Sun > Thread: Today I lost my GF
Thread: Today I lost my GF This thread is 5 pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 · «PREV / NEXT»
blizzardboy
blizzardboy


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
posted May 12, 2009 09:37 PM
Edited by blizzardboy at 21:39, 12 May 2009.

Quote:
@Blizzardboy: I understand that some HC members cannot avoid joking, but then can't you just not post in the thread, hell damn it!


What makes you think I was joking?

You're 17/18, so it's time to grow up and get over the "my dark soul" fad. You're an everyday human being with 10 fingers and 10 toes, not a Dark Templar, Vampire Lord, or whatever else you like to think of yourself as to feel special. And you obviously never gave a crap about your girlfriend, assuming this thread isn't fake, if your first reaction to her leaving you is to rage at her. If you cared about her your first thought would be "did I do something wrong?" and then you'd be thinking about the other stuff. You're probably upset for the same reason you'd be upset if you're computer broke.

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DarkCrystal
DarkCrystal


Promising
Supreme Hero
Staright out of line
posted May 12, 2009 09:45 PM

Quote:
Quote:
@Blizzardboy: I understand that some HC members cannot avoid joking, but then can't you just not post in the thread, hell damn it!


What makes you think I was joking?
Wanna know why? Because you always joke and laugh even in serious threads. And why do you think it is a fake story?

Quote:
You're 17/18,
I'm 16.


Yes, I'm not Dark Templar, nor Vampire. But I really dark one person. Especially in the moments when I am in rage or in cold fury. If you see me in RL you will understand what I mean.

Quote:
if your first reaction to her leaving you is to rage at her.
I don't call it rage. Rage is when I feel like to destroying something and bring chaos. This I call 'cold fury'.

Quote:
If you cared about her your first thought would be "did I do something wrong?"
Yes, I thought about that. Perhaps she had the reason why to leave me. Anyway, I don't wanna care about her anymore.
____________
Sometimes I'm about to yell: "It is flat you idiots!" But I don't wanna die in fire.

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted May 12, 2009 09:55 PM

Quote:
If you cared about her your first thought would be "did I do something wrong?" and then you'd be thinking about the other stuff.  


Maybe he didn't. Why do you promote some weird self-blaming and guilt? It's the worst thing to do after ANY relationship.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours

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blizzardboy
blizzardboy


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
posted May 12, 2009 09:55 PM
Edited by blizzardboy at 22:18, 12 May 2009.

Quote:
Wanna know why? Because you always joke and laugh even in serious threads.


A good portion of my posts outside the Wastelands are serious, but fair enough.

Quote:
And why do you think it is a fake story?


Because this is like the 4th, 5th, or 6th drama thread you've started in the past month, and we know for a fact that 2 of those were fake.

Quote:
Yes, I'm not Dark Templar, nor Vampire. But I really dark one person. Especially in the moments when I am in rage or in cold fury. If you see me in RL you will understand what I mean.


Well I guess that might explain some of it.

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DarkCrystal
DarkCrystal


Promising
Supreme Hero
Staright out of line
posted May 12, 2009 09:59 PM

Quote:
Because this is like the 4th, 5th, or 6th drama thread you've started in the past month, and we know for a fact that 2 of those were fake.
OK, HC, I will not bother you anymore, I promise.

*Takes a pistol*

Hope it is the best way.
Good bye!

*Shoots himself*
____________
Sometimes I'm about to yell: "It is flat you idiots!" But I don't wanna die in fire.

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blizzardboy
blizzardboy


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
posted May 12, 2009 10:01 PM
Edited by blizzardboy at 22:04, 12 May 2009.

Quote:

Maybe he didn't. Why do you promote some weird self-blaming and guilt? It's the worst thing to do after ANY relationship.


Yea, because the ideology of "Me me me" has been such a smashing success, right? It's only been 70 years since culture drastically changed after WWII, and it's already being rapidly replaced by M.E. culture in a lot of places. I guess I shouldn't complain, because survival-of-the-fittest is carrying out it's role as it always does.

It's not a pessimistic self-guilt trip. It's where both people immediately reflect on their own shortcomings in a relationship before they look to the other person and point out how they wronged them. It's a logical, healthy, and successful protocol to follow.

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blizzardboy
blizzardboy


Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
posted May 12, 2009 10:02 PM

Quote:

*Takes a pistol*

Hope it is the best way.
Good bye!

*Shoots himself*


I guess this is when you stop posting and then everybody blames me for supposedly you shooting yourself just because I'm one of the few people willing to tell you what you needed to hear.

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veco
veco


Legendary Hero
who am I?
posted May 12, 2009 10:03 PM

Me, myself rather than I and then, myself
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none of my business.

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DarkCrystal
DarkCrystal


Promising
Supreme Hero
Staright out of line
posted May 12, 2009 10:04 PM
Edited by DarkCrystal at 22:04, 12 May 2009.

OK, don't blame blizzardboy. It seems that all HC is bothered of me.

That was my last post btw.
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Sometimes I'm about to yell: "It is flat you idiots!" But I don't wanna die in fire.

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted May 12, 2009 10:21 PM
Edited by Doomforge at 22:22, 12 May 2009.

Quote:
Yea, because the ideology of "Me me me" has been such a smashing success, right? It's only been 70 years since culture drastically changed after WWII, and it's already being rapidly replaced by M.E. culture in a lot of places. I guess I shouldn't complain, because survival-of-the-fittest is carrying out it's role as it always does.


Yeah, because practicing self-guilt will give you anything. Like, ability to get back quickly to normal life and find yourself a new GF.

What you propose here is a way of ego-lowering, which is HORRIBLE by default.

Quote:
It's not a pessimistic self-guilt trip. It's where both people immediately reflect on their own shortcomings in a relationship before they look to the other person and point out how they wronged them. It's a logical, healthy, and successful protocol to follow.


And start blaming THEMSELVES, getting depressed even more ("what have I done" ; "it's my fault" ; "if only I..."), and generally wasting time while the other person enjoys his/hers new life and new partner.

I think it's a big waste of time.

She dumped you? the only response is: good riddance to bad rubbish. NOT going by "oh, it's my fault"... unless it really was, that is (cheating, etc.)
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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted May 12, 2009 10:23 PM

self-reflection is actually quite healthy.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted May 12, 2009 10:24 PM
Edited by Doomforge at 22:25, 12 May 2009.

healthy how?

It's digging in the past, finding multiple what-ifs and wasting time trying to figure out how badly you sucked in whatever you're analyzing.

Why not just go forward and forget the bad stuff.. no analyzes, no self-pity, no guilt trips.
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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted May 12, 2009 10:25 PM

Learning from mistakes? Standing still and thinking about what and how you do things? What went wrong, where and how to improve either nowor the next time.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.

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blizzardboy
blizzardboy


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Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
posted May 12, 2009 10:28 PM
Edited by blizzardboy at 22:29, 12 May 2009.

Quote:

Yeah, because practicing self-guilt will give you anything. Like, ability to get back quickly to normal life and find yourself a new GF.

What you propose here is a way of ego-lowering, which is HORRIBLE by default.



The numbers speak for themselves. Most people agree with you, and yet the depression and suicide rates continue to soar higher and higher.

I didn't say people should blame themselves even where it wasn't their fault. I said they should first look at where they did screw up, acknowledge and address that, and then move on to the other person.

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Carcity
Carcity


Supreme Hero
Blind Sage
posted May 12, 2009 10:35 PM

hey DC since you said you wouldn't post here anymore I take it you wont read this but your sister might and well... I'll say it anyway.

how would you do if you where the one to dump her? would you go toher or call her and just say it's over and leave her as a question mark, or would you go slowly making her suspect you don't like her before you make reality of her suspicions when you dump her? which one is worrst? telling her what you feel or leaving her thinking she treats you wrong, either way the other one will get hurt. I've read many great tips in this thread and I think the best thing you can do is try to save your relationship wit her, atleast becoming friend with her, cause if you really care about her, then you should atleast TRY to be her friend.
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Why can't you save anybody?

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted May 12, 2009 10:37 PM
Edited by Doomforge at 22:38, 12 May 2009.

Suicide rates grow mainly because of stress problems, afaik. And no, most people don't agree with me: they would rather dig in the past and blame themselves, to justify being simply dumped.

people will do EVERYTHING to explain it; it feels shameful simply to say: the other person got bored of me. So people invent excuses, look into themselves to get rid of that "shame". I don't give a damn, personally, although I have been never dumped, it was always me to do it - but if I got dumped, I'd simply see that I the the other person got bored of me and forget it, focusing on different matters.

It's the cause of 99.9% of relationship failures anyway.

Wake up people


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DagothGares
DagothGares


Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
posted May 12, 2009 10:40 PM

No, people don't want to take up personal responsibility for anytging anymore, that's the problem! (see, I pinpointed andnow you'll bring up a counter)
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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted May 12, 2009 10:42 PM

But how to take personal responsibility for someone getting bored of you?

You want people to become clowns and entertain the other person for all costs?

People need to be themselves in relationships, not clowns. If the other person can't stand it, so be it. Good riddance.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours

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veco
veco


Legendary Hero
who am I?
posted May 12, 2009 10:46 PM

Yea, well, first you have to asses wether she got bored of you or you are to blame (example: ignoring something important for her, which you didn't even notice)

I'm fully with Dagoth here. You have to put some effort and responsibility in a relationship instead of hoping 'maybe this time everything will fall in place'
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none of my business.

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Doomforge
Doomforge


Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
posted May 12, 2009 10:50 PM
Edited by Doomforge at 22:52, 12 May 2009.

We're talking about coping with the fact of ending a relationship here, not how to maintain a relationship. Of course you should care for the other person while it lasts: I agree with you guys too here obviously.. BUT IT'S NOT THE SUBJECT.


Besides: it's the case of DC. He got his GF when he was +/- 15. What can matter at that age? No money problems, debts, not caring for children... it's only about fun with each other.

At that age, that's it!

Two things end relationships of young people, excluding moving to another country and other unfortunate events:

1. one person gets bored of another and dumps him/her
2. one person cheats and the other gets aware of it

There you go.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours

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