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| Thread: Fantasies from our Hatred |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · NEXT» |
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blizzardboy
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Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted June 15, 2011 04:39 AM |
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Fantasies from our Hatred
Delicate, taboo discussion within.
This topic is surrounding people in our lives that piss us off and, in particular, fantasizing severely harming or murdering somebody. Now before I go any further, you can rest assured that I'm not considering killing anybody, however I am talking about the broader sense of what goes through our minds when we encounter somebody that we truly, deeply, powerfully hate.
I normally take pride in my ability to handle haters with good grace and finesse, but there is a woman at my work that, for one reason or another, simply has the right combination of ingredients to slip past all of those barriers. This frustrates me because it reflects a certain weakness in myself, which I do not tolerate, and I command myself to stop being affected by her, but my emotions won't obey me 
There is a woman at my work that has the following traits: she is a short, blonde haired middle aged woman that is very particular about what food she eats, and she looks down on me whenever I bring in a meal that is fatty. She is attractive. She likes warm, sunny weather and almost always heavily complains whenever it snows or rains outside. She is hyper-sensitive and is often outrageously apologetic when speaking to contacts over the phone. She is very, very polite to them over the phone and then can shrewdly gossip when she hangs up. She does not identify with my casual levity whatsoever. She likes to read romance novels and has horrendous math and computer skills, and yet will frequently rant about how stupid some people are. I often find myself helping her with managing certain software programs, and on the far more rare occasions when I have a question, she will be impatient and annoyed with me. She has an account at Family Tree.com. She's lived in the States for 10 years and purposely calls soccer "football" (not out of habit), even when talking to strangers. She thinks Malcolm X was a great guy. She spends large amounts of money to get her hair done. She was originally a drama arts major going through college. At the age of 40 she thought about becoming a preacher. When talking about politics, she mentions different candidates that she "wants to shoot", even though her knees buckle at the sight of a gun. She thinks I use too much paper when printing.
I could probably think of some more details about her, but this paints the picture of the type of person she is.
Today at lunch I was looking at her and casually reflecting on the fact that if I found out she died a horrible death in a car accident, I would be delighted by the news. Now, I suppose I might feel differently if it actually happened, and perhaps I'm overestimating how much I despise this person, but the point stands that I desire nothing less than a very slow and painful death for this person.
Now I've been angry at people in the past, and thought: "boy, I would like to see them learn their lesson the hard way" etc, but I don't think I've ever had such strong feelings toward a person that I personally know in my life. Interestingly, she hasn't really done anything out of her way to harm me; she's simply been herself, and that alone has driven me to pure black hatred for her. Her existence offends me. The fact that I have such thoughts toward her is somewhat alarming to me, and I think to myself "Wow, I really shouldn't be thinking this", but that is trumped by my immense scorn towards her, and there's really no point in denying what I think: I literally want this person to die. And not to just die, but to unbearably suffer.
I think what also makes this case unique from any other people I've met in the past is that I have no choice but to be in close proximity to her; I'm across the room from her and eat lunch with her. In most cases if you don't like somebody you can simply not associate with them, but I'm pretty much stuck with her. Point 2: I haven't expressed my feelings toward her, and there's really no reasonable way of doing this, so all of this has been bottling up and increasing in pressure for the past several months. Fortunately, I will be moving location in August.
So that's my story about the person that I've hated most in this world. It's not a celebrity or some distant figure; it's the little middle-aged woman that I work with. You can feel free to share your stories if you want, or feel free to comment on my story, etc.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted June 15, 2011 05:26 AM |
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Aww Blizz I sympathize. But like you said at the end of your post, one of the reasons you feel such hatred for this woman is because you have no choice (currently) but to put up with her (until August). Normally you just ignore and walk away from people like this, never having to associate with them again.
I had a similar experience. It was during my last summer at school, and I was working (job experience) at a City Playground (yes I once wanted to work with children). It was a Government programme and it was a small team of adults supervising anywhere between 10 - 200 children. We had activities and such for the children (aged from 7-14). I luckily had the joy's of being away from the main playground for several hours, as I looked after the tiny group of Down Syndrome children in a specially equipped hall (a pure joy it really was). However, the manager was a true cow. She was lazy, offensive, negative, didn't care about anything she did (apart from topping up her tan). I came to hate her, I mean really hate her. As soon as any of the children's father's appeared, she would lose any sense of responsibility to her duties and charges and spend hours 'chatting up the dad's', leaving us school leaver's to pick up the slack. I would picture myself actually hitting her or wish her to fall under a bus! Like you, if someone had come in and said "oh Tracy died last night" (preferably by speeding train), I would have loved it.
I at least had the opportunity to tell her I hated her. During the seven weeks I worked with her I told her halfway through (after an argument with her and other managers) and I told her on my last day too. This gave me some satisfaction, but not the amount of satisfaction I expected either. It was anticlimatic and left me feeling weird, mainly because I went overboard, heavily insulted her and obviously upset her. Ultimately I felt rotten.
Just concentrate on August. At the moment she truly irritates you and there isn't much you can do about it. At least once you've gone you don't have to concern yourself with her again. But what you're feeling is normal. You're stuck at the moment and its frustrating to deal with this.
Sorry I can't be of more help.
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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blizzardboy
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted June 15, 2011 05:43 AM |
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Part of the reason I'm able to bottle up my hatred is that I feel like she would be "winning" if I let it loose. The other problem is that the other people at work are somewhat kindred spirits to her (though still small evils in comparison) so I'm a lone lamb in a den of wolves. Every day I continue to tolerate her is, in a way, a personal victory. I couldn't truly harm her if I told her that I want to see her sold into slavery into the arms of an obese, horny, sadistic 65-year-old Mexican drug lord, and I would be sacrificing my own composure if I ever did.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted June 15, 2011 05:50 AM |
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Sounds like someone who would drive me up a wall as well, blizz, mostly because of this:
Quote:
She does not identify with my casual levity whatsoever.
I have a very dry and somewhat blunt sense of humor, and I also have a tendency to be a little sarcastic and toss barbs around casually, but in a playful sort of way. Probably not always completely appropriate for people I have to interact with, but it is what it is. And I can't stand people who try to hide the fact that they can't take a joke by treating me with condescension, particularly when it's clear to everyone, and especially myself, that I'm far superior to them in every possible way.  And yes, I admit that when such a person is someone I can't just ignore, I can't help but fantasize about how great it would be to bend them over, remove the pole from their ass and replace it with the (thoroughly lubed) business end of a professional grade immersion blender.
Anyway, the post was a nice read. If there was a mod around here any more I'd nominate it for a QP, but you'll have to settle for a  .
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted June 15, 2011 09:06 AM |
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I don't mean this strictly serious, but there could still be a grain of truth in it.
She's probably reminding you of a teacher you had a crush on when you were very young, and I suppose, there is some part in you that feels attracted and would want to bang her (actually the teacher, that is).
Alaways remember, that hate is strictly PERSONAL, an emotion that comes into play only when a person is getting at you on a very deep level. If it was just an annoying person you would simply despise her, ignore and be mostly sarcastic. You may hate her, because there is something about her you find quite attractive (the teacher she reminds you of, that you dreamed of banging), but since she is otherwise such an annoying person you hate her because of your inability to find her completely unattractive - or as unattractive as you would expect to find her with the behaviour she has. 
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Zenofex
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Kreegan-atheist
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posted June 15, 2011 12:19 PM |
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Edited by Zenofex at 12:20, 15 Jun 2011.
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In such a situation I usually follow one of these two paths: 1) Ignore the other person completely and make him/her feel ignored (lay stress on the second part), which usually prevents any further intrusions. This approach works when you don't depend on the other person or have little to do with his/her work, life, etc. The said character can live in his/her misery as long as he/she wants and that's none of my concerns - the world is full of such people anyway and none of them is worth the expenditure of emotional energy.
If the above is not applicable, then 2) follows, namely - show the intruder his/her place. If this person is in any way persistently and blindly damaging your ability to do your job, to concentrate, to remain calm, etc. and nobody is doing anything about it, he/she has to learn it the hard way. Normally first via a relatively polite but firm remark - which is unlikely to help but serves as an excuse for more "impolite" approach - and then via anything that will keep him/her quiet and careful around you (I don't mean knocking out the offender's teeth of course, although purely psychologically the shock from applied pressure on his/her personality could be similar). When you communicate with someone for a long time, his or her weaknesses become apparent, so just attack some weak spot. Everybody can be silenced if you know where and how to hit and it's just not worth it to remain the suffering side forever because in the end nobody wins and your health inevitably loses. Of course this is a recipe for extreme situations, most people can be reasoned with and only those who can't should be treated exceptionally.
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted June 15, 2011 12:46 PM |
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@Zeno, even whilst your advice is absolutely valid, I think in Blizz's case he doesn't have the luxury to do that.
Sometimes you get caught in a situation (normally office or work based), where you have no choice but to 'take it on the chin', because of seniority/position etc. And that's why it rankles even more. You're practically helpless. The person you despise doesn't have to change their behaviour, or they continue to get away with it. And then you have to interact with them regularly. You can't put yourself in an even worse position by doing what you would do outside of work i.e. tell someone to F**k off. If you work with them, often your only option is to leave. And that causes other serious problems, or can do. Sometimes that isn't an option either, especially if you have a family/mortgage etc.
It's just horrible having to work with people that are anti-social cretins.
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Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Zenofex
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Kreegan-atheist
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posted June 15, 2011 01:40 PM |
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You can make even your superiors to watch their behaviour and treat you like equal. I myself always ask from my bosses to prove me that they are right to blame me for something (except if I know that it's my mistake) and generally to prove their point. I've had many quarrels with my superiors when I knew that something wasn't my fault and as far as I can tell now they think the things over quite well before they say something negative to me. I'm going good job for them and expect something in return apart from the salary. As long as the internal rules of the company are not violated, nobody can tell you anything for standing your ground and demanding a good working environment (that hardly applies to cases where you are too dependent on the salary though but even then you should not just sit and endure everything).
If the "intruder" is your equal or subordinate on the other hand, it's much easier. You can use your superiors to do something about the situation and if they are unwilling to do so, then it's a carte blanche to do the things your way. One way or another the problematic person will either shut up or the matter will reach the bosses at some point and they will be forced to act. If you are right and can prove it, you can only benefit from such a development.
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bLiZzArdbOY
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted June 15, 2011 03:57 PM |
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@Zeno:
I have almost nothing going for me in my favor. I'm with 3 women that:
A) Are biased against young people
B) Are biased against men.
Like I said, the other women (the boss is included in this tripartite of evil) are her kindred spirits. I've stumbled into a death trap. There's really no way to appeal to my boss about her, and even if I did have good odds, it doesn't change the fact that I don't have something authenticated to complain about, because she isn't really overtly harassing me. What am I suppose to say? Last month she moaned about how she thinks I use too much printing paper? I hate her on a very deep, personal level because of her behavior, her attitude, and simply because of who she is. She's my visceral nemesis and a stain to who and what I am. I hate her because she exists.
This also adds to how I don't know how to approach her about it, because really, where on Earth do I even start?
So it's basically dwindled down to me finding safe, subversive ways to cause her pain. She's constantly worrying about keeping her weight down and eats things like yogurt and fruit for lunch. I'm very thin and have a fast metabolism, and sometimes I'll walk into lunch, sit next to her, and pull out a large greasy bag from McDonald's and then a smaller bag from Dunkin' Donuts with a cream-filled chocolate donut, and devour it next to her while making the occasional "Mmmmm" sound. I can tell that that spites her. I'll also find creative ways to bring up her age, like one time where I politely mentioned that in a few years she'll be able to get the 55+ discount at restaurants (she's in her mid-40s). Also, whenever she sneezes, I'll just sit there and keep doing what I'm doing, and I imagine that bothers her because she's very ritualistic about things like that (i.e. when you walk in, you have to say "good morning", which I make it a point to rarely do).
All of this goes on without a single confrontation between us. Overall, she's nice when she speaks to me and I'm nice when I speak to her. I imagine she doesn't have a clue that I hate her more than I've ever hated anybody.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted June 15, 2011 04:11 PM |
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Damn, that sucks mate. There's a few people at work that aren't like her but are annoying to me. Mainly the ones that criticise my work (when theirs isn't good either) and they go behind my back and tell others how bad it was. There's this one person at my work who is a friend of my mums, so whenever I do something wrong, she goes and tells my mum and my mum tells me off. She's bossy as well. It's annoying because I'm the kind of guy that is very sociable. I'm down to earth, like to joke a lot and yeah but she's often working with me and she's the opposite. Tells me off for talking at times and is just annoying with her bossy behaviour.
The thing is, I can't tell anybody off because I'd be the one to get in trouble even if people are bossy. I just have to put up with it. I'm like you in that I only need to put up with it until August (or September) but the unfortunate thing is that no matter where you work there's always going to be that one person who pisses you off. I feel sorry for you, really, cos I know just how it is.
I could offer advice like just ignore her or just think to yourself that she doesn't really matter and she's not important but I'm sure you've already tried that.
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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bLiZzArdbOY
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted June 15, 2011 04:21 PM |
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@JJ:
Absolutely. If I simply found her ugly I'm sure it would help a lot. Also, I'll occasionally see a glimpse of sweetness in the way she is, which makes me think "If only that had been nourished more...", but those glimpses are rare and drowned out by all of her negative qualities.
@William:
Yeah, there probably is no perfect workplace. I like to think that after suffering from this, the positive side is that I'll be able to appreciate future co-workers much more. After you've crossed a desert, even a stale glass of water can taste delicious.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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Kipshasz
Undefeatable Hero
Elvin's Darkside
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posted June 15, 2011 04:22 PM |
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If not for my friends who're always there to stop me from doing really stupid things, I'd be in jail or an asylum for a brutal murder of my stepfather. Please note that I have serious issues with that man dog miserable piece of swine sh!t.
The best way of slaughter that would fit him would be leashing and obedience collar used in dog training(it has spikes on it's inside), tying it to a car/motorcycle and drag him around town while yelling "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" and saluting Hitler and glorifying Satan.
Yes, I am a lunatic. Even more than usual. Since 26th of May.
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"Kip is the Gavin McInnes of HC" - Salamandre
"Ashan to the Trashcan", "I got PTSD from H7. " - LizardWarrior
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted June 15, 2011 04:23 PM |
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Quote:
A) Are biased against young people
B) Are biased against men.
"because she isn't really overtly harassing me.
I'll also find creative ways to bring up her age, like one time where I politely mentioned that in a few years she'll be able to get the 55+ discount at restaurants (she's in her mid-40s).
All of this goes on without a single confrontation between us. Overall, she's nice when she speaks to me and I'm nice when I speak to her. I imagine she doesn't have a clue that I hate her more than I've ever hated anybody".
Yeah I know this situation only too well. Working for local Government means you come into contact with a lot of this. Mostly these types have been working in the office for many years, think they own it, think it actually works for their benefit and they form spiteful little clique's. Mostly middle aged women. And for lone guys like Blizz it becomes a cat and mouse chase. But done so underhandedly, its basically invisible to anyone else.
But Blizz the age thing was dynamite, just perfection. Just focus on August. Put it this way, it means you have a few more weeks where she may still die horribly and you can witness it first hand. Death by photocopier or paper guillotine are common office deaths apparently 
I wish you well.
P.S. I offer HC regular's a 50% discount for weekday assasinations. I'll HCM my number.
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Darkshadow
Legendary Hero
Cerise Princess
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posted June 15, 2011 04:24 PM |
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Any particular reason or is he just a general a-hole?
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bLiZzArdbOY
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted June 15, 2011 04:27 PM |
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@Kip:  That made me feel much better. Thanks for that.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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gnomes2169
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Duke of the Glade
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posted June 15, 2011 04:35 PM |
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@ Kip, what happened the 26th?
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Yeah in the 18th century, two inventions suggested a method of measurement. One won and the other stayed in America.
-Ghost destroying Fred
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Corribus
Hero of Order
The Abyss Staring Back at You
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posted June 15, 2011 04:40 PM |
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Quote:
Yeah, there probably is no perfect workplace. I like to think that after suffering from this, the positive side is that I'll be able to appreciate future co-workers much more.
You won't. There are always going to be people who have to work with that you can't stand, no matter where you're employed. The important thing is to find a place with at least a few people that you CAN stand. Otherwise, going to work will be a miserable experience.
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Kipshasz
Undefeatable Hero
Elvin's Darkside
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posted June 15, 2011 04:47 PM |
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My mom had a nervous breakdown and ended up in the hospital after *sigh* another largea fight with the douche. After escorting her to the hospital I went to her home and beated the crap out of him, threatened him with jail, slaughtering and the devils then promised that I make sure that my stepbrother will be adopted by a gay couple(Alci, do want a 6 yo boy? Doesn't eat much.) and he will buried in a forest if I ever see him near my mom's place again. Then my friends came by, punched me in the face and dragged me to a pub to "cool off".
I was now at my mom's place( I promised to reglue the tiles in the bathroom and water the flowers) and the douche returned from his relatives. He found my mom's note telling him to GTFO and started raging again, and I beated the crap out of him and called the cops.
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"Kip is the Gavin McInnes of HC" - Salamandre
"Ashan to the Trashcan", "I got PTSD from H7. " - LizardWarrior
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gnomes2169
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Duke of the Glade
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posted June 15, 2011 05:07 PM |
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So he's in prison? Mission asnowingcomplished, sir.
... He is in prison, right?
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Yeah in the 18th century, two inventions suggested a method of measurement. One won and the other stayed in America.
-Ghost destroying Fred
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Kipshasz
Undefeatable Hero
Elvin's Darkside
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posted June 15, 2011 05:50 PM |
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A day or three. Not more. Plus I'm broke right now and can't replace the lock of the flat's door.
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"Kip is the Gavin McInnes of HC" - Salamandre
"Ashan to the Trashcan", "I got PTSD from H7. " - LizardWarrior
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