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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted October 01, 2013 10:14 PM |
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The Dean answered first.
"Those books were written in the old days, when sourcerors still roamed the world. They were much more powerful than any wizard today and could easily handle that kind of magic. Of course, he added with pride, they were not nearly as sophisticated and organized as us. We pass the knowledge about these dangerous magics from wizard to student.
"That's right! interrupted the Archchancellor who felt he was being silent for far too long, The Unseen University brings up only the best wizards, capable of dealing with every situation!
Finally able to squeeze in a word, Carrot answered Wolfram's question.
"We have a pigeon system, but I don't have a pigeon on me. I know where everyone had gone, if you don't need me here I should run out and notify them.
"Ah, and here's your coffee! Bellowed Ridcully as the Bursar entered through the door with a cup in his hands. His hands were still shaking, so it was a miracle the coffee managed to stay inside.
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War-overlord
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Presidente of Isla del Tropico
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posted October 01, 2013 10:22 PM |
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Wolfram accepted the coffee when it was handed to him.
"Would those pidgeons off the roofs do? That'd be much faster and I'm certain the Archchancellor has a netlauncher here somewhere to catch some of them with."
Wolfram took a sip of the coffee and nearly burned his tongue, but got a better idea.
"Or the sirs wizzards might have a magic thingamabob to contact the Watchmen with, which would be even faster. I'm certain the sirs would agree that it is imperative that we retrieve this dangerous tome ASAP and will lend a prodigious hand in the retrieval when they could." He said while casting a glance at the Dean and the Archchancellor.
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Vote El Presidente! Or Else!
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Kareeah_Indaga
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 02, 2013 12:38 AM |
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"Oh don't worry," Anatolios replied, grabbing at the zombie (three or four times before connecting thanks to his magnified vision). "I'm sure you're guilty of obstruction of justice or something of that sort, and anyway there's a very unusual fungus growing behind your left shoulder blade..."
((Ana's going to attempt to push/pull the zombie in the direction of the Watch House. And probably get lost en route courtesy of the magnification, but he's going to try.  ))
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted October 04, 2013 10:55 AM |
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@Wolfram
Both the the Archchancellor and the Dean puffed them up with importance. The Bursar cowered down with a headache.
"Well, normally we would love to do our civic duty, but it's not as simple as that. Said the Archchancellor.
"That's right. Magic is not to be used for such mundane tasks as message delivery. It's a complicated and dangerous practice and should be used only in the most dire times of need.
"Like when you can't find your pointy hat in the morning. The Bursar volunteered to help.
"Ermm... yes, very important, yes... Archchancellor, can you catch some pigeons for the Watch?
"Unfortuntely, it won't do. Carrot interrupted the conversation, the pigeons have to be trained. But I do have another idea. I think he should be around here somewhere.
Carrot walked over to the open window and looked around. It seemed like he was watching the rooftops. Finally he smiled and began waving frantically.
"Found him, he said, he will be here shortly.
In less than a minute a gargoyle landed on the windowsill. It was moving in short, jerky movements, never actually changing its shape or position. It reminded somewhat of a movie shown frame by frame instead of in one flowing movement. Captain Carrot addressed the gargoyle.
"Constable Downsprout, I need you to deliver a message. Constable Angua is currently at the Thieves' Guild with one Temporary Lance Constable. There are two Temporary Lance Constables somewhere out on the streets. One of them is wearing a unique hat. Start with the streets around the Unseen University. I need you to find them and relay the following message: Detain any suspicious undead. Especially ones with thick gloves. Bring them for questioning to the Watch House. Have you got that?
"Yesh. Been stuck with a permanently open moth did not do anything good for the gargoyles' pronunciation.
"Do you think I missed anything? Carrot asked Wolfram before releasing Downsprout.
@Anatolios
"Wait, what fungus? The zombie's confusion taking over once again he let himself to be pulled along without much resistance. Is that normal? I don't really understand this zombie stuff yet. Am I supposed to grow them things on my back?
Trutha followed the pair from a distance, still looking at the zombie with astonishment and fear.
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Kareeah_Indaga
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 05, 2013 01:42 AM |
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"I have no idea!" Ana responded cheerfully. "Let's find out back at the Watch House..." Anatolios continued prodding the zombie in the appropriate direction while swerving away from people who really weren't all that close to begin with.
((Let me know if I get found by the gargoyle before I make it back.))
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War-overlord
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Presidente of Isla del Tropico
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posted October 06, 2013 10:27 PM |
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"Do you think I missed anything?
"Eh, no. But we'd best make it Especially undead wearing gloves and/or protective clothing. Just to be on the safe side." Wolfram replied. The city might well be at stake here. Wolfram took another sip and then turned back to the wizzards.
"Do you know of any other side effect of being near the book? That might help us narrow down the suspects once the watchmen round them up."
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Vote El Presidente! Or Else!
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted October 12, 2013 09:11 AM |
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@Anatolios
As Anatolios tried to find his way to the Watch House, dragging the confused zombie along and with a frightened Omnian following behind, he saw two more zombie-like men arguing with a hot-dog vendor. The vendor, his whole merchandise laid out on a tray that hung from his neck, tried to calm the two down.
"Are you suggesting something is wrong with my merchandise?
"Suggesting? I'm past suggesting! Shouted one of the customers, Look at me, Dibbler, my nose keeps falling off!
"How do I know it never did that before?
"What?! Are you kidding me? Look what it did to poor Tom! He pointed to his fellow zombie who was holding his head in his hands, are you saying he looked like that yesterday?
"Maybe his head was stitched to his neck yesterday. It's not my fault if his strings are to weak to hold his head on!
"WHAT?!
"Tell you what, tell you what, since I don't want to lose my loyal customers, I'll sell you these on discount. Smell essence. Something to hide that rotting stench. Just for you, two dollars a bottle, and that's cutting-me-own-throat.
@Wolfram
Captain Carrot gave Constable Downsprout some final orders and the latter jerked out of the room and into the sky.
The Dean stroked his beard thoughtfully, as all wise men do to remind everyone just how wise they are.
"I can't think of anything else.
"I believe that is the extent of out knowledge, gentlemen, said the Archchancellor, we could of course try to search the records for more information, but that will take time and I do hope you'll find the book before that.
@Bilious
A servant girl took a bunch of bananas and brought them to the Librarian. He took them, broke of one of the fruits from the rest of the bunch and began to gingerly peel off the skin.
"Ai suggest you look for your book, helsewhere. Said Mrs. Whitlow to Bilious, now if you'll hexcuse me, Ai have a household to run.
Mrs. Whitlow waited patiently for the intruder to react to her words, although he stance implied that the only acceptable reaction would be to thank her for her time and leave in a hurry.
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Kareeah_Indaga
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 15, 2013 12:37 AM |
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"More specimens! Excellent!" Anatolios detoured over to the undead pair and started shooing them in the appropriate direction. "Come! Come now!" After a moment's thought he made a grab for the vendor as well. "You might as well come too; I may need a control group..."
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master_learn
Legendary Hero
walking to the library
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posted October 21, 2013 06:51 PM |
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"Mr. Boggis,The City Watch is after a thief,who stole a book from the Library of The Unseen University.Nothing even remotely similar to a note from the Thieves' Guild had been found.As was explained to me,no watchman or wizard want such theft to happen again.Could you give us any clue about why would anyone steel a magical book?"
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"I heard the latest HD version disables playing Heroes. Please reconsider."-Salamandre
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted October 21, 2013 08:12 PM |
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@Ana
The two un-fresh zombies and the vendor looked at Anatolios, Trutha and their shiny badges.
"Aha! About time! shouted the more talkative zombie, now you'll get what's coming to you, Dibbler! The Watch will hang you for what you did to us! He turned us into zombies, officer! We demand that action is taken right now!
Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler who was now pushed in the direction of the Watch House by both the inventor and his recent customers, tried to break free.
"This is an outrage! This is police brutality! Let me go! I know my rights! I know my rights! If you don't stop right now, the Patrician will hear of this!
@Brian
Mr. Boggis' gaze shifted from Brian to Angua and back to Brian.
"I would have to say because he's an idiot. Of course you haven't found any of our receipts, we know better than to steal from the Unseen University. Our Guild has enough work in the rest of the city, we don't venture into the unnatural. Good, hard-gained money is the only thing that interests us.* Magical books are not our area of expertise. At this point Mr. Boggis' mind finally caught up to the rest of him, Wait, is that the unlicensed theft you wanted to tell me about? If so, I'm afraid you've wasted both your time and mine. We do not approve of stealing from the wizards and we tell so to all of our new members. Now is that all, or was there something else?
*And he was right. The thieves only needed good hard-gained money, as long as it was hard-gained by someone else.
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master_learn
Legendary Hero
walking to the library
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posted October 21, 2013 08:44 PM |
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"I wouldn't call it a waste of time,Sir.The point is,one of the City gates is closed until the book is found.If I am not mistaken,hard-gained money flow,which comes from an open gate,is in interest of Your Guild."
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"I heard the latest HD version disables playing Heroes. Please reconsider."-Salamandre
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted October 21, 2013 08:52 PM |
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"Ankh-Morpork is a proud and independent state, we have enough cash circulating with the city to last for now. And I fail to see how it is the Thieves' Guild task to solve this matter.
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master_learn
Legendary Hero
walking to the library
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posted October 21, 2013 08:58 PM |
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"Then I want to thank you for your time,Sir.Unless constable Angua have other questions,we'll be on our way."
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"I heard the latest HD version disables playing Heroes. Please reconsider."-Salamandre
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Kareeah_Indaga
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 22, 2013 12:21 AM |
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"Aha! About time! Now you'll get what's coming to you, Dibbler! The Watch will hang you for what you did to us! He turned us into zombies, officer! We demand that action is taken right now!
"Of course, of course..." Anatolios agreed, nodding and observing as he did so the fast montage of rot, skin, and various parasites that flew past.
"This is an outrage! This is police brutality! Let me go! I know my rights! I know my rights! If you don't stop right now, the Patrician will hear of this!
"Yes, yes, this way please...step livelyor not, as the case may be..."
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted October 23, 2013 06:06 PM |
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@Brian
Angua shook her head.
"As long as you're sure it wasn't one of yours.
"It wasn't. Mr. Boggis snarled back at her.
Angua and Brian went away still escorted by the two thieves who were visibly relieved once Angua left the premises of the Guild. Once out on the street, Angua leaned towards Brian.
"Someone's following us. Keep walking. She whispered to him.
@Anatolios
A shadow came over Anatolios. Looking up he saw a stony surface on the parapet above him. It was topped by a huge* open mouth of a gargoyle.
"'Ello, Ai' Coshale Oushrou. Said the gargoyle. AI 'ae a essaye 'ro Catain Carro: 'esain a'y shushishiouss untheath. Es'esiiay untheath earin' go'esh an' o' 'roshe'ie c'ohin'. 'rin' 'en 'or queshioni sho the 'asch 'oushe.
*to his enlarged vision.
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Kareeah_Indaga
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted October 24, 2013 02:08 AM |
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Anatolios moved to adjust his ear piece before he remembered he hadn't actually invented a sound-based equivalent to the headgear he used to alter his sight yet. At which point he stopped feeling around in the air next to his head and replied brightly:
"I'm afraid I have no idea what you just said." Ana gestured towards the zombies and Dibbler. "I am taking these men down to the Watch House for questioning and experimentation."
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted November 08, 2013 05:23 PM |
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@Brian
Brian followed Angua into a small alley. Once there she pressed him against the wall and stood beside him. A few moments later the silence around them changed slightly. There was still no noise, but now it was the absence of noise indicating that someone is trying hard not be heard. With amazing speed Angua reached around the corner and pulled back with force. She held in her hand a young thief. His feet dangled in the air.
"Give me one good reason why I should tear you limb from limb! Asked Angua adding a definite snarl to her voice.
"I-I-I-I heard you talking about a stolen bo-o-ok. I-I-I may know something. Where was it stolen f-from?
@Anatolios
There was a sound like stone grinding stone as the gargoyle sighed. It spread its wings and flew away in short, distinct movements.
Finally, Anatolios, Trutha, three zombies and Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler made their way to the Watch House. The inside of the House was in complete chaos. There were at least another dozen zombies in there shouting and complaing. There were also three watchmen: a young man who by the looks of it was new to the whole policing business, another man who was shouting as loud as the zombies, but unlike them he did not seem angry, and an unusual dwarf. At first, one couldn't really place what was so weird about the dwarf, because human mind tends to disregard anything he deems as impossible. But if you kept looking, some details came into view, like the fact that the dwarf was wearing a skirt, and earings, and bright red lipstick.
The three were trying to calm down the crowd, except the shouting man who was trying to explain something to them. They were all failing.
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master_learn
Legendary Hero
walking to the library
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posted November 08, 2013 05:45 PM |
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"The book was stolen from the Unseen University.What do you know about the theft?"-said Brian.Seeing Angua snarling,he added-"We mean you no harm.Just tell us and everything will be fine!"
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"I heard the latest HD version disables playing Heroes. Please reconsider."-Salamandre
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Geny
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted November 09, 2013 09:23 AM |
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Angua glanced at Brian sideways and let the thief go. He fell on the ground and backed up against the wall.
"A... a friend of mine was talking about something like that. We're still apprentices and the studies are really hard. The young thief gulped as he must have remembered something, and then we heard a rumor that if an apprentice steals something no one else could he would be instantly accepted to the Guild. So he said he'll do what no other thief dares to. He... he wanted to steal something from the wizards. Something that is protected by both physical and magical means. I tried to convince him not to do it, but...
The young thief shuddered and went quiet.
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Kareeah_Indaga
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Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 09, 2013 03:21 PM |
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"What's this then?" Ana moved to adjust his headgear's magnification to better see what looked to be, but couldn't possibly be, lipstick...and only then realized that the magnification was already up as the world came back into normal focus with a few adjustments. "How disappointing," he remarked aloud. The revelation that his altered vision hadn't been a fascinating side effect of magic overflow was sufficient to recall him to his surroundings.
"Tsk, tsk, how am I supposed to conduct any experiments with the test subjects so disorganized?" He pulled out the wand of the Portable Occult-Energy Transporter, reversed the flow so a casual touch would give a slight zap and began prodding the zombies into some semblance of order "Over there, yes, you, and if you would kindly move over this way" *zap* "yes, much better..."
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