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smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted December 26, 2013 01:39 PM |
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What's worse ?
It's a little "Real life situations" game where you get to decide which scenario is worse, obviously in a subjective manner...
First case:
1. 50 yo guy, who has been happily married for 25 years, discoveres 2 of his 3 kids, aren't really his (got cheated on)
2. 50 yo guy, who has been miserably married (lack of sex/kids, leading to low self esteem) for 25 years, discoveres his wife is and always has been a "burried deep in a closet" lesbian..
Which case is worse in your opinion and why ?
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted December 26, 2013 01:51 PM |
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Number one would be definitely worse for me, the second one may actually give you some relief, now that you know it was nothing you did or say but her that was the reason things didn't work out.
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smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted December 26, 2013 02:02 PM |
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I understand, but then again it works both ways, in the first scenario you have led a happy life for 25 years (ages 25-50 - also your best years) while in the second scenario you were robbed of your best years 
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted December 26, 2013 04:19 PM |
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First option only the fact you learn is (probably) a bad XP - you might still cope, though.
Second is worse, because actually two people wasted 25 years of their life with a miserable marriage - and no way to get them back.
My opinion only, of course.
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted December 26, 2013 05:19 PM |
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do you stop loving the 2 kids in the 1st option?
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Tiptoe_McGuffy
Adventuring Hero
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posted December 26, 2013 06:04 PM |
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I have another scenario for you guys!
You're on jury duty, and your decision leads to:
1.) An innocent man condemned
2.) A hardened criminal set free again.
____________
"An Elf can take out a Ranger
any day of the week, but they
prefer to do it on weekends so
they can stay up late and catch
a show afterwards." -H2 tavern
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted December 26, 2013 06:29 PM |
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If I have the slightest doubt that the accused may be innocent I'll let vote not guilty. Sending an innocent man to jail is much worse than letting a guilty one slide by. That's the whole logic behind the "presumed innocent until proven otherwise" mentality anyway.
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Tsar-Ivor
Promising
Legendary Hero
Scourge of God
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posted December 26, 2013 09:50 PM |
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Second one is worse, first option isn't that bad. I mean if my wife had 2 kids outside of the marriage and we're happily married for 25 years then fine by me lol relatively speaking and assuming that she really is happy. While the second option is that your wife never loved you for 25 years, so geegee time to bite a bullet.
____________
"No laughs were had. There is only shame and sadness." Jenny
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted January 05, 2014 05:32 PM |
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smithey said:
1. 50 yo guy, who has been happily married for 25 years, discoveres 2 of his 3 kids, aren't really his (got cheated on)
2. 50 yo guy, who has been miserably married (lack of sex/kids, leading to low self esteem) for 25 years, discoveres his wife is and always has been a "burried deep in a closet" lesbian..
Which case is worse in your opinion and why ?
I think scenario 2 is worse. It's my belief that when you love someone their happiness is what's important to you. Also it's my belief that a parent of a child has more to do with who raised you than who gave birth to you. Finally there's the whole happiness vs. misery ordeal.
Tiptoe_McGuffy said:
You're on jury duty, and your decision leads to:
1.) An innocent man condemned
2.) A hardened criminal set free again.
Jury duty is worst.. 
Option 1 is worse. I don't believe in punishment altogether, I dislike the idea of someone being forced and in the first case the entire society becomes the criminal.
____________
Living time backwards
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted January 05, 2014 06:42 PM |
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Number 1 is worse by far.
To find out that for the last 25 years, of what you thought were wonderful, you discover that the woman you have been married to, cheated on you and foisted two children (who are not yours) on you by continuing the lie. You believe these children to be yours, you love them, have worked hard to give them the best of everything .... and they are not yours, but the offspring of some secret affair she had while married to you!
I would divorce her pronto. Its an appalling betrayal.
Number 2 is just as much his fault as her's. If you can't be honest in a relationship and end things, then that's your own damn fault.
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted January 05, 2014 07:17 PM |
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Trouble is - you sstill love the children, right?
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artu
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
My BS sensor is tingling again
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posted January 05, 2014 07:33 PM |
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You'd still love them but they would keep reminding you of the big lie. I guess, it also depends on how it was put on the table a little bit. I mean if she puts it like "it was a meaningless fling and I didn't tell you because I wanted you to be the actual father of the kids" then it'd be kind of easier to cope with. But at that point, would you believe it went that way, just cause she told you so? The real problem is not the DNA heritage but the complete collapse of any foundation of trust between the couple.
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted January 05, 2014 10:55 PM |
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So what? You still had a nice life up to that point, and what's left is a completely open present with 3 children you love. Whatever happens, it's up to you and, as you said, a question of motive and selling it.
Case 2 is infinitely worse, beecause two people wasted their life with a bad relationship no one was really happy with. Not much of a perspective at this point. Nor anything to salvage.
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xerox
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
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posted January 05, 2014 11:13 PM |
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Edited by xerox at 23:14, 05 Jan 2014.
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1) is way worse because you were the victim of a huge lie from your partner. In the case of 2), both of them were equally stupid for continuing with a miserable marriage + it's good the wife finally accepted her sexuality. Now this is morally speaking. In terms of what would suck most in life, it's defintely 2)
____________
Over himself, over his own
body and
mind, the individual is
sovereign.
- John Stuart Mill
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OhforfSake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted January 05, 2014 11:23 PM |
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The only way option 1 can be worse than option 2 is if you let past happiness depend on current perception, but that goes both ways which means it ultimately becomes your own fault if you aren't happy.
On the other hand, if you refuse to let single moments in the present determine the quality of the life you've lived, then you also ought to realize that these people you've had a wonderful time with all those years, are still the same people they were yesterday, no matter what they did unbeknownst to you, before you and they even had created something you liked.
Fathering a child is not to impregnate pump a woman.
If the things that was done, unbeknownst to you, didn't hinter the happiness you had together, then it doesn't matter.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it'd sting at first, but it'd certainly not change what has happened, not the bad stuff and not the good stuff. The idea that only the good stuff changes.. is an idea I don't like.
____________
Living time backwards
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted January 05, 2014 11:23 PM |
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Xerox, why aren't "what's worse" and "what would suck most in life" the same thing?
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Eccentric Opinion
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xerox
Promising
Undefeatable Hero
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posted January 05, 2014 11:27 PM |
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Edited by xerox at 23:30, 05 Jan 2014.
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It depends on the context.
What's morally worse isn't nescessarily what sucks more.
____________
Over himself, over his own
body and
mind, the individual is
sovereign.
- John Stuart Mill
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sandman
Known Hero
Fearsome Warrior
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posted January 08, 2014 01:06 PM |
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Senario 2 is definitely the worst. At least in senario 1 you would of had a good and happy life up to that point and three kids that you love - dont think finding out that they arent yours would change that, yes it would be upsetting but it shouldnt change your relationship with your children.
As for senario 2 not only have you had a rubbish marriage up to that point but finding out your wife has been lying to you and herself for years and was never happy and you both wasted your lives would be the icing on the cake so to speak! 
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