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| Thread: Tale of the Spidercalypse |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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kiryu133
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Highly illogical
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posted August 03, 2015 08:13 PM |
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maybe structure it a bit better? really hard to read when it's just a giant block of text. Can't focus on anything ATM.
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It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that the cis are at it again.
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 03, 2015 08:59 PM |
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kiryu133 said:
maybe structure it a bit better? really hard to read when it's just a giant block of text. Can't focus on anything ATM.
It looks much better in my Word file, but when I copy-paste the text here, many features dissapear. I'm wide open for any advice about making the text more readable.
P.S.: for instance, this forum does not recognize "big spaces" created via tab button.
Or, the second option: I can upload text on some service (like Galaad does in the Lore thread) and simply post a link.
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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kiryu133
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Highly illogical
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posted August 03, 2015 09:02 PM |
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editing in some new rows shouldn't be too hard 
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It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that the cis are at it again.
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 03, 2015 09:06 PM |
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kiryu133 said:
editing in some new rows shouldn't be too hard
I've added some, check now please. Did it become better?
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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kiryu133
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Highly illogical
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posted August 03, 2015 09:13 PM |
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Edited by kiryu133 at 21:27, 03 Aug 2015.
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Fantastic! 
sandro400 said:
They were Monkey, Lizard, Wasps and Mantis Riders respectively, each bearing a symbol of some natural enemies of Spiders.
hope someone gets to ride a bull ant. snowin' bull ants, dude. they're vicious.
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It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that the cis are at it again.
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 03, 2015 09:24 PM |
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Thanks to everybody who liked (or not liked) this little piece of snow text, it's an honor for me to write a story about HC members. ^^
Avonu, may I use you as well? I have some plans for you as well...
Kiryu, Galaad rides a Horse, Lizard - a lizard (well, it was obvious), but Sempai or Energy might as well ride a bull ant. ^^
P.S.: it seems I really like to say "as well". 
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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Gryphs
Supreme Hero
The Clever Title
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posted August 03, 2015 09:28 PM |
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We need giant toads!
Also nice little beginning it was.
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"Don't resist the force. Redirect it. Water over rock."-blizzardboy
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 03, 2015 09:34 PM |
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Gryphs said:
We need giant toads!
Also nice little beginning it was.
#GUGT - give us giant toads!
Thanks!
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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Neraus
Promising
Legendary Hero
Pain relief cream seller
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posted August 03, 2015 10:13 PM |
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Good job so far Sandro! The story has a good beginning...
I'm looking forward for the evil side... 
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Noli offendere Patriam Agathae quia ultrix iniuriarum est.
ANTUDO
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EnergyZ
Legendary Hero
President of MM Wiki
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posted August 03, 2015 11:02 PM |
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kiryu133 said:
Fantastic!
hope someone gets to ride a bull ant. snowin' bull ants, dude. they're vicious.
Well I am all ears and eyes about that.
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Galaad
Hero of Order
Li mort as morz, li vif as vis
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posted August 04, 2015 02:45 AM |
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I like the writing style, and a few funny lines -lmao at Lizard saying he could "simply mod them out"-, great stuff insofar!
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AlkarRahn
Promising
Legendary Hero
Divine Arcanist
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posted August 04, 2015 03:12 AM |
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Gryphs said:
We need giant toads!
Also nice little beginning it was.
Yes, toads would be nice. Frogs and toads are my favorite animal. However, leave out the Mario form of Toad. Mushrooms are nasty. 
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 04, 2015 01:41 PM |
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Part 2
The Riders fared for a single day, but they have found nothing. But the next morning they stepped into a pleasant valley where they’ve found a treasure chest. The Heroes gathered around it.
- Well, I guess nobody’s gonna argue that we need exp, right? We’re all old-timers here…
- Erm… pardon moi, - said Galaad, - but my armor might use a little gold.
- Seriously, Gal? What’s wrong with you?!
- I want my shiny armor back. SHINY. ARMOR. 'Cause it adds so much fairytale atmosphere!
- Relax, man, we’ll gather the gold later, - said Energy.
- Guys, before you will descend into nonsense, let’s see how much this chest offers us, and then decide, - Sempai came closer to the chest and ordered his bull ant to open the chest. – As usual, 1500 gold or 1000 exp. Exp it is.
- Hey, who put you in charge to decide such important things?! – yelled Galaad.
- I’m the one who opened the chest, remember? The Hero who opens it gets the choice. Your voice doesn’t count.
- You smartass…
- No need to get angry, pal. Look, I received level-up!
And at this moment, the Random (or should I say, the Loldom) walked by.
- Greetings, young lolero, my Congratulations on the recent lol-up! You can now choose between Necromancy lvl2, Offence, Air Magic or Tactics. You choice? Your lolwledge has also been increased by 1 point btw!
- Who… or, rather, what are you?
- I’m also known by many different names – Ganlolf, Lolish Cat, the Fortune, Verriker…
- Wait, Verriker? It’s… you? – asked Lizard.
- We’re Verriker and Verriker is one of us. – said the radiating figure and suddenly transformed into a replica of Spider High Priest. The Heroes looked at him, eyes full of awe and terror. – Do not looks so surprised. The Random may take all shapes and forms. Now, Sempai, what would be your choice?
- I guess… Air Magic…
- Bravo, many people choose Tactics instead. Your wish is granted! – having said that, Verriker disappeared into thin air.
The Riders shared surprised looks, being totally lost by this sudden appearance. They believed their whole lives that random choices the game offers were nothing more than technical texts. The sudden understanding that the Random has a personification literally blew their minds.
- On the other hand, I’ve decided to join you, my loleroes. You will face many dangers on your quest, and you have defended me for such a lolish time… I am in your debt. Btw, every campaign should have a guide and a tutorial, and who’s better loled for this than me?
Thus a bond was created between the Old and the Random. But before we continue, let’s take a sneak peak at what was happening in the Spider Church…
…There, in the gloom of toxic-green candles lit with toxic-green light, amidst the toxic-green tapestries and priests dressed in toxic-green robes, stood a Throne of Marble (surprisingly, the marble was not toxic-green in color). And on that throne sat a mighty general in (sigh) toxic-green armor with spider appendages glued to its back. He looked as if he was lost in thoughts, hands crossed across his chest. He too has sensed the coming of the Riders and was now planning a strategy to stop them.
- Your Spidery, o great general! The Seal has been broken! What should we do?! – screaming, a priest of Spider (of course in toxic-green robe, the toxic-green light was even shining through his helmet) entered the (Un)holy Church and ran to the Throne, followed by some Spiders.
- I already know about this, Neraus. Go and calm down the clergy, there’s no immediate danger. They all came as lvl 1 Heroes, while the fans of the Spider side of the franchise already have quickly gathered tons of experience. If they come now, we will convert them to the Spider’s cause.
- But what if they… come later? With other scions of rebellion?
- We will plan, gather our forces and lay down traps. When they come, we will be ready… Now go, Neraus, and send some scouts. I want to know precisely who they’re and how many old-timers they have met…
- Toxic-green ones, Your Spidery, or…
- Of course toxic-green ones! We don’t have any other scouts… On the second thought, go yourself. I will give you another set of Spider gifts if you succeed in assassinating several of them.
- Yes, Your Majesty. I’m on my way.
When Neraus fled from the chapel, the General turned towards great toxic-green stained glass and whispered:
- Nothing will disturb your prayer, High Priest. I will speak with Ubimancers as well. We will crush those Nostalgia Critics!
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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Stevie
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 04, 2015 02:23 PM |
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Neraus
Promising
Legendary Hero
Pain relief cream seller
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posted August 04, 2015 03:04 PM |
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Aha! The greatest priest of all has made its appearance! Besides that loony High priest, but those are just details...
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Noli offendere Patriam Agathae quia ultrix iniuriarum est.
ANTUDO
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Avirosb
Promising
Legendary Hero
No longer on vacation
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posted August 04, 2015 03:27 PM |
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Stevie said:
I cannot bring myself to appreciate this. It just lacks the humor.
It's no H5 that much is certain
Anyway, nice work. It's good practice
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 04, 2015 03:37 PM |
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Avirosb said:
Anyway, nice work. It's good practice
Thank you. As I'm no native English speaker, do not expect any superior writing. It'll be simple. Some people like it, some not - it's completely fine!
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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EnergyZ
Legendary Hero
President of MM Wiki
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posted August 04, 2015 04:39 PM |
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Stevie said:
I cannot bring myself to appreciate this. It just lacks the humor.
Not everything lies in humor in here.
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kiryu133
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Highly illogical
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posted August 04, 2015 04:46 PM |
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not as good as the first one. Humor seems mostly to be about "lel, random" which isn't really that funny. everything being neon green (EVERYTHING) did get a chuckle though. still looking forward for more.
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It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that the cis are at it again.
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Sleeping_Sun
Promising
Famous Hero
Townscreen Architect
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posted August 04, 2015 06:28 PM |
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I like both parts.  You could improve a bit your writing, but it is still nice. I'm very interested to see how things will develop.
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