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| Thread: Tale of the Spidercalypse |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 04, 2015 06:36 PM |
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EnergyZ said:
Not everything lies in humor in here.
Exactly this. Those who're familiar with LFG might know what I will try to accomplish (I'll most likely fail, but it's always worth a try).
Neraus, haven't you guessed already who is the High Priest?
Sleeping_Sun, I will try of course to improve my writing, though that won't be easy. ^^
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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Stevie
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 04, 2015 06:50 PM |
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Edited by Stevie at 18:52, 04 Aug 2015.
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LFG's dark humor is unlike anything you've written in here, lol. Not like parodying should be about humor anyways, lmao.
But by all means, please do continue writing. Practicing is improving I guess.
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Guide to a Great Heroes Game
The Young Traveler
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 04, 2015 06:57 PM |
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Stevie said:
I cannot bring myself to appreciate this. It just lacks the humor.
EnergyZ said:
Not everything lies in humor in here.
Stevie said:
Not like parodying should be about humor anyways, lmao.
Stevie, you never change. ^^ Always glad to see a consistent person anyway.
Btw, surprused that you've heard of LFG.
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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kiryu133
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Highly illogical
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posted August 04, 2015 07:21 PM |
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Tip: don't imitate someone else. Do your own thing. Imitating will never make something as good as the thing you're imitating while if you were to do something of your own doing it might manage to exceed that which inspired you.
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It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that the cis are at it again.
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Neraus
Promising
Legendary Hero
Pain relief cream seller
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posted August 04, 2015 07:26 PM |
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sandro400 said:
Neraus, haven't you guessed already who is the High Priest?
Actually, on a second thought no... But... I'll wait patiently for the answer to be revealed later! 
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Noli offendere Patriam Agathae quia ultrix iniuriarum est.
ANTUDO
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Sleeping_Sun
Promising
Famous Hero
Townscreen Architect
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posted August 04, 2015 08:32 PM |
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I'm perfectly aware how difficult it is to write, especially in a foreign language. Such problems are familiar to me, because I also write.
kiryu133 said:
Tip: don't imitate someone else. Do your own thing. Imitating will never make something as good as the thing you're imitating while if you were to do something of your own doing it might manage to exceed that which inspired you.
This! You can never know what creative energy you possess unless you try to be original and write it down using your own words in your own style. Practice makes it perfect! 
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Avirosb
Promising
Legendary Hero
No longer on vacation
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posted August 04, 2015 11:49 PM |
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And if everything else fails then you can always borrow from Warhammer.
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Gryphs
Supreme Hero
The Clever Title
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posted August 04, 2015 11:52 PM |
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Then we would have a lawsuit on our hands.
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"Don't resist the force. Redirect it. Water over rock."-blizzardboy
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 05, 2015 10:08 AM |
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kiryu, there is a slight, but still a difference between "imitating" and "taking inspiration", yes? I am no longer even able to imitate LFG, for the group of characters is much, much different.
What I was talking about is the structure of the tale.
And no, I'm not going to copy Warhammer or Warcraft, and if you find any similarities, then know that they would be unintentional.
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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kiryu133
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Highly illogical
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posted August 05, 2015 11:20 AM |
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sandro400 said:
kiryu, there is a slight, but still a difference between "imitating" and "taking inspiration", yes? I am no longer even able to imitate LFG, for the group of characters is much, much different.
What I was talking about is the structure of the tale.
It's fine taking inspiration but if you're just doing what you believe LFG would do there isn't much point to it. Do what you would do. 
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It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that the cis are at it again.
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 06, 2015 08:24 PM |
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Part 3 (hoping I get better)
With the help of the Random, our Heroes quickly gained enough exp to become lvl 5. They have met some stacks of friendly creatures (mostly Skeletons, who joined Sempai), found more treasure chests (it was so convenient that there were so many of them, like somebody placed them there on purpose) and even raided a creature bank (Ubiworkshop). There were also some artifacts. Lizard found a decent laptop, while Energy received a battle axe. Well, a toy battle axe, but after visiting a blacksmith it became a real axe.
On the next day Riders found a campsite, apparently set up by Elves who were celebrating nearby.
- Look, few Elves! – shouted Galaad.
- Em, they certainly don’t look like a “few” to me… - said Energy.
- No, certainly. 1-4 of them.
- Well, maybe you wanted to say “several”, for there’re cleanly 5-9 of them…
- Oh c’mon, don’t teach me how to count!
- Relax, guys. – Lizard said. - Both of you are wrong.
- What?!!!
- Are we gonna attack them or what? –Sempai finally asked.
- Let’s try to negotiate with them first, - said Galaad. – I heard that Elves too despise spiders…
After some time…
- Well, Galaad, how did your negotiations go with a PACK of Elves? – asked Lizard, setting fire to the last elf.
- Who knew that those Elves are “new”, preaching Harmony and hesitating to kill any living creature? At least we’ve got their treasures and some exp!
- Btw, guys, next tie check this website: http://www.heroesofmightandmagic.com/heroes3/movement.shtml and don’t forget about Scouting…
------------------
The first week was around its end, and our Riders were worried. They still haven’t found a town.
- Do not worry guys, there should be a village nearby. You can use it as your base of operations. – said Verriker. – You’re now lvl 7 dudes with… decent army, I guess.
But in reality Elves had nearly decimated their army. Lizard had 2 goblins remaining, Energy and Galaad both had a mere one pikeman each. Only Sempai was confident of himself – (dead) Elves joined him almost willingly… Others were looking at Sempai with little anger and a bit of envy – nobody likes Necro players, unless they themselves are Necro players…
- Let’s go and find ourselves a town!
And truly, several more clicks of traveling – and their feet were at the doorsteps of a small village guarded by lots of peasantry and a few professional soldiers. Quite an unexpected garrison instead of a “village”.
- Our Lords, have mercy! – shouted the leader of peasants. – We’re just farmers, humble farmers! If you don’t kill us, we will join you, we’re impressed by the size of your army!
- Well, you will join us either way… - chuckled Sepmai.
- We gladly accept your help! – said Galaad, shaking hands with the peasant leader.
- What was that? – asked Lizard. – Town garrisons never become “impressed by the size of an army”, that’s used for neutral stacks…
- Scripted encounter, my friend, - smiled Verriker.
-----------------------------------
- These old-timers may argue as much as they want, but this town portal system is really effective, - said Neraus, coming out from a magical gate. He arrived at the city of Steadwick. His network of spies and scouts has reported to him that the Riders were seen in the surrounding villages.
Neraus was immediately greeted by Spider acolytes – those who aspire to join the priesthood of the Great Mother.
- We’re most honored by your presence, your Spidery…
- Cut this nonsense! Show me the prisoner!
The acolytes showed him the way to the dungeons, where an “informant” was imprisoned. Shortly after, Neraus opened the door of his cell.
- I’ll be quick about this, filth. You tell me everything you know about the so-called Riders, and I release you. Your choice?
- Oh, sire, I’ve seen them! The four of them! A knight on a horse, plague doctor, strange warrior on an insect and a toad rider!
- Are you serious?.. – Neraus asked after a short moment of silence.
- Yes, yes! They’ve captured one of the villages! I’m the only loyal one who escaped and came here, the others have joined them!
- I sense no lie in your words. Well then, I shall honor our deal, - having said that, Neraus threw a ball of toxic-green energy at the prisoner, killing him. – You’re now freed from life itself, ahahaha! Praise be Spider Messiah!!!
- Your Spidery, ahem, we’re still listening, - whispered one of the acolytes.
- Get lost! And rally up the garrison! We’re moving out!
Neraus met his warriors at the city square. The force consisted of local folk armed with crude weapons and, of course, spiders. A horde of them, actually.
- Open the gates! – ordered Neraus, but nothing happened. He gave the order a second time, a third time… after that, he rushed to the gates, clearly with intent to “convert” the gateworkers.
- Sorry, sir, but the gates are… jammed.
- How is it possible? They were repaired a week ago!
- Well, the initial problem was solved, but the workers broke another detail, and now we can’t…
- Silence! I don’t wanna hear that! Bring the battering ram!
- Your spidery, you won’t be able to break gates of Steadwick with a battering ram…
- Bring it, or I will feed you to the wasps!
- The story is, battering ram was eaten by bugs…
- BLASPHEMER! – shouted Neraus and incinerated all of the workers. – This word is forbidden! Let it be an example for all!
------------------------
The priest, obviously angry at his stupid servants, returned to the portal and entered it again. He came back moments later with two battering rams and another horde of spiders. Before his eyes was a sight to be imagined. Steadwick was already in ruins.
- What happened here?.. – asked the Priest, praying in his mind to the Spider Messiah itself.
- Well, I guess it crashed, - came a deep voice from the rubble.
-----------------------------
- Well, my fellow Riders, let’s decide who will remain at the town. Somebody should guard it, right?
- I’ll stay, - Sempai replied. – My skeletons will provide necessary protection.
- Then we shall scour the surrounding region for resources etc. And let’s build a tavern, maybe we’ll find some enthusiastic hero there.
----------------------------
Galaad, Energy and Lizard were capturing an ore pit when Verriker suddenly spotted a spider on a nearby hill. The chase ensued, but after a few clicks our Heroes suddenly stopped.
- What happened? – asked Energy, trying to make his toad jump.
- Apparently, we don’t have enought movement points, - Lizard answered. – No problem though, give me a moment.
Lizard opened his laptop and turned on his modding tools. After a brief pressing on the buttons, he smiled and said:
- Now we have much more movement points, and, as a little bonus, our speed is increased!
- Let’s see… – Energy slapped his toad and instantaneously jumped directly on the spider. – Crap, I feel a little sick…
- Why did you kill it? We may have extracted some info from it! – shouted Lizard.
- Just return our normal speed please. Don’t ruin the fairytale atmosphere. – insisted Galaad. – And stop cheating!
- Well, guys, I see you’ve had quite fun here, - Sempai was sitting atop his ant, which, in turn, was carried by skeleton servants. – I’ve found us a secondary hero, will introduce him to you later.
- Isn’t it a bit too much? – said Lizard.
- Well, it’s very original and fairytale-ish, I’m totally ok with it!
- Guys, what’s that? – Energy pointed forward to some desecrated statue. The Riders came closer. The statue was obviously of some woman, but somebody (or something) tried to change her features into that of a man, carving the face, crushing the breasts and adding a little something between its legs.
- Who could’ve done that?.. – asked Galaad, looking clearly shocked.
- You better not know who that lol is, - Verriker answered. – Even I try to stay away from that lol. Let’s hope we won’t encounter it.
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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EnergyZ
Legendary Hero
President of MM Wiki
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posted August 06, 2015 08:38 PM |
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sandro400 said:
The statue was obviously of some woman, but somebody (or something) tried to change her features into that of a man, carving the face, crushing the breasts and adding a little something between its legs.
... work of that JEmo guy?
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Avonu
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Embracing light and darkness
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posted August 06, 2015 08:43 PM |
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Edited by Avonu at 20:44, 06 Aug 2015.
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sandro400 said:
- What happened here?.. – asked the Priest, praying in his mind to the Spider Messiah itself.
- Well, I guess it crashed, - came a deep voice from the rubble.
- Well, my fellow Riders, let’s decide who will remain at the town. Somebody should guard it, right?
It's me or there should be new paragraph in there and not after?
sandro400 said:
The statue was obviously of some woman, but somebody (or something) tried to change her features into that of a man, carving the face, crushing the breasts and adding a little something between its legs.
Generally it's hard to read sometimes, as I don't know when a character ends speaking or when a new paragraph is started.
____________
"When someone desires information, they come to me."
"Details are everything."
Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi!
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 06, 2015 08:52 PM |
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EnergyZ said:
... work of that JEmo guy?
Well, let's say it's JAmo. ^^
Btw, did it become more comfortable to read now (edited the post)?
Or maybe I should try color coding?..
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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kiryu133
Responsible
Legendary Hero
Highly illogical
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posted August 06, 2015 08:56 PM |
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better than part 2
feels rather rushed in the sense that stuff just sort of keeps happening but we never really get to read any of it. suddenly stuff has just happened if that makes sense. slow things down a notch and let things play out. a single sentence is not quite enough to describe everything.
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It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that the cis are at it again.
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Avonu
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Embracing light and darkness
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posted August 06, 2015 08:59 PM |
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Better, but dialogues are still confusing:
Quote:
- Let’s see… – Energy slapped his toad and instantaneously jumped directly on the spider. – Crap, I feel a little sick…
- Let's see - Energy slapped his toad and instantaneously jumped directly on the spider. - Crap, I feel a little sick.
____________
"When someone desires information, they come to me."
"Details are everything."
Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi!
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sandro400
Promising
Supreme Hero
Shadow of Death
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posted August 06, 2015 09:02 PM |
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I meant that fast speed caused his stomach to "rumble".
But Kiryu is right, I should make things more proper and add more exposition and explaining. Again, sorry, my bad. ^^
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Let's play poker game, lich-style!
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Gryphs
Supreme Hero
The Clever Title
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posted August 07, 2015 11:42 AM |
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sandro400 said:
Again, sorry, my bad. ^^
Hey you are doing rather well for someone new to something like this(I am assuming anyway)so don't feel bad.
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"Don't resist the force. Redirect it. Water over rock."-blizzardboy
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Avonu
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Embracing light and darkness
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posted August 18, 2015 08:17 PM |
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Edited by Avonu at 20:23, 18 Aug 2015.
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So... we can assume by now, that toxic-green general have won? 
Or there is another part of story? 
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"When someone desires information, they come to me."
"Details are everything."
Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi!
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Herry
Bad-mannered
Famous Hero
100% Devil
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posted August 18, 2015 08:19 PM |
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He is still working on the story, but he's too busy to update. Classic case for writers...
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