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hamsi128
Promising
Supreme Hero
tosser tavern owner
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posted July 26, 2003 10:45 AM |
bonus applied. |
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ROFLLMAO
something i found in net lol.
Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction, honey.
Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass
destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of
mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry,
we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.
Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.
Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned
to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons
when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those
weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend
themselves.
Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if
they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those
weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those
weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.
Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam
Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to
invade another country.
Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade
his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.
Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic
competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in
sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.
Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American
corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures
people?
A: Right.
Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government.
People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison
and tortured.
Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.
Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while
China is Communist.
Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.
Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in
Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.
Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.
Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the
other hand, is not.
Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed
some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any
business with Cuba until they stopped being
Communists and started being capitalists like us.
Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and
started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans
become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.
Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in
Cuba.
Q: Kind of like China and the @!#$ movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam
Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really
a legitimate leader anyway.
Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a
country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in
the United States.
Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military
coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but
Pakistan is our friend.
Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.
Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by
forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an
illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he
helped us invade Afghanistan.
Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, fifteen of them Saudi
Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into
buildings,killing over 3,000 Americans.
Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the
oppressive rule of the Taliban.
Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off
people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off
people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.
Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million
dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good
job fighting drugs.
Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from
growing opium poppies.
Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the
Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.
Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for
growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads
and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off
people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off
people's hands for stealing bread.
Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi
Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical
patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas
whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the
penalty for women who did not comply.
Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body
covering.
Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a
modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body
except for her eyes and fingers.
The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal
oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes
and fingers.
Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The
Saudis are our friends.
Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th
were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.
Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a
very bad man.
Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet
invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.
Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald
Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or
thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us.
We call them Russians now.
Q: So the Soviets, I mean, the Russians, are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years
after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to
support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them
now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they
didn't help us invade
Iraq either.
Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename
French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom
Toast.
Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do
what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.
Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.
Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made
him our friend, temporarily.
Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we
looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.
Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically
becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.
Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is
automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations
can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all
the better.
Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good
for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who
opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you
understand now why we attacked Iraq?
Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.
Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and
tells him what to do.
Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq
because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A. Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your
eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.
Q: Good night, Daddy.
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2Xtremetotake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted July 26, 2003 11:49 AM |
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that has to be the funniest thing ever. and im american.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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hamsi128
Promising
Supreme Hero
tosser tavern owner
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posted July 26, 2003 12:25 PM |
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Quote:
that has to be the funniest thing ever. and im american.
The world hasnt problem with americans , just Bush is the target. Believe or not every country politicians are same, they only need more power. If my country turkey has more power in world situation im sure we will do same faults . The key is the power and Bush unfortunately has enough power to act his one man show.
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bjorn190
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Jebus maker
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posted July 26, 2003 12:46 PM |
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On the other hand, I think they should invade more countries like iraq. As long as they win.
Because I like freedom, and that kinda makes it my duty to force freedom upon the rest of the world. Noone knows whats right or wrong in this crazy world, so all we can do is try to use the power we have to change the world to the way we like it.
I think invading iraq was the right thing to do. Sure, the reasons might have been wrong, but so where the reasons why france and other countries opposed it. They merely wanted to hold back the power of the USA.
If the USA started invading whoever they want without asking the other countries, then those countries lose alot of power that the USA gains. The reason the USA can do this is they are so big, and kinda bold.
Id like the USA to invade any country thats undemocratic and cruel to women and children, or weak people. Id like them to invade it, kill all the oppressors, and change the countries into free democracies.
There are many reasons why its ok..
1. That how they do things in that country, and when in iraq, do as the iraqians, and so on. You simply act the way that the people in that country act.
2. Its just evolution at work.
3. For everyone you kill, you save all the people that he would have oppressed or killed.
4. They do have the choice to become democracies and respect women and children on their own. Killing them is just the final resort if they keep trying to opress women and children, and be undemocratic.
5. We could lock them up instead, but thats too expensive, and they probably cant pay for it.
6. Imagine a world without terrorism, because everyone is free, happy, and not hungry. The reason for world hunger is power struggle.. not that we have too little food. Some people hurt other people to get power. Those people need to be hurt by someome with more power, or at least stripped of their power. Every day children are murdered (starved to death) because of the people in power in some countries. Letting this happen is as much of an action and a choice as picking up a gun and shooting someone. Its the result that matters, no matter if the action was active of passive.
7. Things could/should be better than they are.
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hamsi128
Promising
Supreme Hero
tosser tavern owner
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posted July 26, 2003 01:07 PM |
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ok dudes, force me to get my freedom
hit my head, kick my ęss 
wow bjorn why Bush the forcing director of freedom potatoes doesnt doing any invasion to Liberia now?
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Aquaman333
Famous Hero
of the seven seas
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posted July 26, 2003 08:45 PM |
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So you guys are saying that you would prefer to leave a maniacal dicataor in power, who killed his own people on multiple occasions and buried them in mass graves? Face it, Saddam had to go. We were the only ones with the guts to do it. The people who write these kinds of jokes are implying that they would rather leave a nation's people to suffer rather than get rid of a regime who technically hadn't done anything to provoke a war.
____________
"Brian, look! There's a message in my Alphabits! It says,
"OOOOOOO!"."
"Peter, those are Cheerios."-Family Guy
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privatehudson
Responsible
Legendary Hero
The Ultimate Badass
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posted July 26, 2003 09:12 PM |
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Quote:
So you guys are saying that you would prefer to leave a maniacal dicataor in power, who killed his own people on multiple occasions and buried them in mass graves? Face it, Saddam had to go. We were the only ones with the guts to do it. The people who write these kinds of jokes are implying that they would rather leave a nation's people to suffer rather than get rid of a regime who technically hadn't done anything to provoke a war
Or maybe they're suggesting that it's a tiny bit hypocritical to run round invading one country for such matters whilst selling arms, trading with and backing another country for doing the same thing Iraq has done. As for having the guts to do it..... well congratulations, it only took us... 20 odd years to get that courage....
Perhaps the people who wrote that joke wrote it to say "hey wonderful that you knocked off hussain, but what about Saudi Arabia? What about Zimbabwe?" and so on
Or perhaps they just wrote it to have a laugh. Lighten up
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We're on an express elevator to Hell, goin' down!
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hamsi128
Promising
Supreme Hero
tosser tavern owner
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posted July 26, 2003 10:07 PM |
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Quote:
So you guys are saying that you would prefer to leave a maniacal dicataor in power, who killed his own people on multiple occasions and buried them in mass graves? Face it, Saddam had to go. We were the only ones with the guts to do it. The people who write these kinds of jokes are implying that they would rather leave a nation's people to suffer rather than get rid of a regime who technically hadn't done anything to provoke a war.
You have to get your head out of the water  like in Bosnia before and Liberia now u.s. politicians thinks only their interests... potatoes directors playing world police role and its a shame there are still ''naives'' who defend their acts. None sense ,absurd !!!
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bort
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
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posted July 26, 2003 10:38 PM |
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Whether you were/are for or against the war, you have to admit that the whole situation is the absolute height of tragicomedy. I didn't see anywhere where it said that Saddam Hussein was a nice guy. I thought the post was funny.
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Drive by posting.
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IYY
Responsible
Supreme Hero
REDACTED
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posted July 26, 2003 11:28 PM |
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This is one of the funniest and most correct things I read in months. Describes the American situation very well. I must say I had several conversations that sounded very similar with my pro-US friends.
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bjorn190
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Jebus maker
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posted July 27, 2003 12:24 AM |
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What most anti-us ppl fail to see tho, is that it isnt an argument NOT to attack iraque..
Its an argument to attack ALL the countries that behave like iraq, wich to me, seems like a good idea if its doable. But its not, because china has nuclear weapons.
The battle has to be commercial and cultural. To let china grow and develop into a better nation
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privatehudson
Responsible
Legendary Hero
The Ultimate Badass
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posted July 27, 2003 12:42 AM |
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I somehow doubt you could persuade certain nations to stop opressing their people by helping the opressors stay in power. If we support them they stay there, and they'll carry right on doing what they already are doing.
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We're on an express elevator to Hell, goin' down!
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Shepicker
Hired Hero
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posted September 27, 2003 11:00 PM |
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Basicly the authors of the joke criticise amongst other things the very poor arguments the Bush government used as reasons to attack Iraq. Otherwise they would not have spent so much time on prolonging the joke with the almost infinte row of questions; just to show that sometimes people twist things around to their liking. Dont get me wrong I was against the Saddam regime but I do not see how a foreign invasion will ever help out another country. The true help a country will recieve in intern politics will come from its own people. At least that matches my experience from the revolution of 1989.
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Vadskye91
Promising
Supreme Hero
Back again
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posted January 07, 2005 10:44 PM |
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I think this needs to be seen again
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Knowledge is power...
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Trogdor
Legendary Hero
Words in a custom title
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posted January 09, 2005 10:44 AM |
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That's the most hilarious thing I've seen in a while.
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"Through the power of the dollar you can communicate with the dead." - Artu
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Korejora
Promising
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posted January 09, 2005 10:57 AM |
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Since it's courteous to the author because he requested it to be present:
Permission is freely granted to copy, print, and distribute this material by any means, so long as the author is given proper credit and so long as this statement is included in any and all copies made for distribution.
'This material' being all the questions and answers stated in the original post.
By the way, didn't I hear somewhere that things that are "copy-pasted" aren't supposed to be considered quality point material?
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That's the best part. 
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guitarguy
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Rockoon.
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posted January 09, 2005 11:20 AM |
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Quote:
By the way, didn't I hear somewhere that things that are "copy-pasted" aren't supposed to be considered quality point material?
By the looks of things, that appears to be the case. It's funny though; what if you type something out yourself and it looks suspiciously like copy-pasted material? If someone copy-pastes and some of the text misaligns out of place, the person could simply correct the problem him/herself if time is taken. It's hard to distinguish between the circumstances, well, at least for me it is. I know that the long, long, long typed lists and stuff are easier to catch, but small things like mini stories and jokes are not. What's your take?
-guitarguy
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Dingo
Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
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posted January 10, 2005 03:05 AM |
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Quote:
By the way, didn't I hear somewhere that things that are "copy-pasted" aren't supposed to be considered quality point material?
This QP was awarded before that rule existed.
Quote:
By the looks of things, that appears to be the case. It's funny though; what if you type something out yourself and it looks suspiciously like copy-pasted material? If someone copy-pastes and some of the text misaligns out of place, the person could simply correct the problem him/herself if time is taken. It's hard to distinguish between the circumstances, well, at least for me it is. I know that the long, long, long typed lists and stuff are easier to catch, but small things like mini stories and jokes are not. What's your take?
Just ask the person if they wrote it out. People are Honest.
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The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.
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