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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted December 09, 2006 12:32 PM |
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Seriously, you need to drop this sentence:
Quote:
We have all fallen under the spell of Asha's beauty, the rivers of Shalassa, the wide plains with Brightly Armored Warriors riding off to die for what they belive in.
I respect your poetic feelings but I don't think we need to express our geekness that much. It IS a game, after all.
Ok, if we reduce the ammounts of poetry and correct the typos, we get something like this:
Dear Nival team,
At Heroes Community we worship the Heroes of M&M games, and we feel that Heroes V is one of the best in the serial. However, I believe every Heroes fan felt rather disappointed when you decided to exclude the orcs from the game. We all know that can (and hopefully will) be changed. After much thought, bitter struggles and compromises, we have come up with two factions which we feel both fit well in the game you have worked so hard to create, while at the same time fulfilling the desires of the community. One is the orc Stronghold, which we already sent to you but will do it again, in the more practical .pdf format, while the other, the Naga faction called Temple, is also well designed, balanced and many hours were spent on its creation. We know that you probably already have plans, but the hope that we might affect the future of Ashan, if only slightly, is enough.
You will find the ideas in the .pdf file attached to the email. This is, of course, completely voluntary and free of charge. You can freely use anything you like, wherever you see fit. Thanks for hearing us out.
-The 'Perfect Stronghold' Team in association with heroescommunity.com
@SBlister, I know some people weren't there when our Stronghold was created, but still, PS doesn't represent what we created, but our name. The "Stronghold" word means our firmity and determinity and the "Perfect" means those characteristics can't be shaken. Everything has a point. Plus it sounds cool 
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Daystar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Back from the Dead
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posted December 09, 2006 03:44 PM |
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good letter.
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How exactly is luck a skill?
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Gnoll_Mage
Responsible
Supreme Hero
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posted December 09, 2006 04:36 PM |
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There are plenty of `content errors` / admissions that I can't really change, but I've done the obvious spelling corrections etc. I anglicised the spelling without really paying attention, does anyone mind that?
Here's what remains to be looked at.
As for the graphics, what I'll probably do is change the blue to red, change the logo and text, and maybe change the grass to something else (ideas would be really appreciated - I can use Photoshop to do these things but I'm never any good on the initial ideas!). Since someone needs to check the word document anyway, I may choose not to do the pdf today.
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SBlister
Famous Hero
Rakshasa Commander
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posted December 09, 2006 05:12 PM |
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Edited by SBlister at 17:22, 09 Dec 2006.
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Good letter Baklava, simple and to the point. Well if you wanna we can call ourselves the Stronghold Team but split it into two sections ie Naga Development Team and Orc Development Team and put those involved in their respectful sections. I would prefer if the Stronghold and Temple be put into one Template pdf file. Makes it easier. And we can include the credits at the end. Thats my 2cents. But I feel that both teams did an awesome job creating the two factions. Let me run through the Perfect Stronghold Master Post one more time to look for corrections right now. It shall be done in 15 mins...
ps- I just realized something the Naga Temple (oriental version) has stairs... how the hell are the nagas supposed to slither down those stairs?
@JoonasTo: I didn't write no letter...
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted December 10, 2006 01:31 PM |
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Quote:
Well if you wanna we can call ourselves the Stronghold Team
Nonono, the perfect stronghold team  It loses the point if the "perfect" is dropped
Quote:
would prefer if the Stronghold and Temple be put into one Template pdf file. Makes it easier.
I thought they already were in one template .pdf file 
Quote:
split it into two sections ie Naga Development Team and Orc Development Team and put those involved in their respectful sections.
Very well, that would be ok
Quote:
ps- I just realized something the Naga Temple (oriental version) has stairs... how the hell are the nagas supposed to slither down those stairs?
Well perhaps there's an elevator too...
Now for the mistakes noticed by GnollMage:
@Page 1: The island of Hashima is swampy, so the terrain is present. You probably looked at the old map, but the new version is available... SBlister can give you the link, I don't know where it is. Anyways, you can see everything on the new map.
@Page 2: The phrase makes perfect sense, "its" refers to the third eclipse demon "dragon hunt", that's more than obvious
743 YSD - Well simply the seas... I didn't think about WHAT seas, they're unnamed on the map anyway
767 YSD - Lizardmen are not primitive, they have great potential as they were created by wizards. They just lived tribal life because they didn't know how to make it better... And the rebel tribes (mentioned in the campaign) are paid by bad guys. And how can you be sceptical about lizardmen who want better life and you're not sceptical about a demon who falls in love with a human and all of a sudden becomes a good guy? I mean, it's a demon. I refer to Agrael, of course.
856-951 YSD - The naga cannot die unless someone kills them, since they are a magical race just like elves. What's the lifespan of an elf?
969 YSD - About remaining neutral; the naga decide they can't remain neutral but Arcelos opposes that and convinces them in something else.
Can someone else comment other stuff please? I specialise in storylines, not stats and balancing 
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted December 10, 2006 02:13 PM |
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Quote:
Quote:
ps- I just realized something the Naga Temple (oriental version) has stairs... how the hell are the nagas supposed to slither down those stairs?
Well perhaps there's an elevator too...
*LOL* 
Quote:
@Page 2: The phrase makes perfect sense, "its" refers to the third eclipse demon "dragon hunt", that's more than obvious.
Well excuse me, but it does not make sense. I'm the one who pointed this out, and I'm fairly good in reading english. There's something that needs explaining in that sentence - but maybe the problem is that the phrase "third eclipse demon "dragon hunt"" is pure nonsense to me.
Quote:
767 YSD - Lizardmen are not primitive, they have great potential as they were created by wizards. They just lived tribal life because they didn't know how to make it better... And the rebel tribes (mentioned in the campaign) are paid by bad guys. And how can you be sceptical about lizardmen who want better life and you're not sceptical about a demon who falls in love with a human and all of a sudden becomes a good guy? I mean, it's a demon. I refer to Agrael, of course.
Well, that part also stresses my credibility, but that's not a reason not to make the rest of it as good as possible. I just wanted to point out that when I read this thing, the first thouhgt I had was that it seemed very unbelievable.
Quote:
856-951 YSD - The naga cannot die unless someone kills them, since they are a magical race just like elves. What's the lifespan of an elf?
Fine - maybe someone should mention that somewhere in the text, then ...
Quote:
969 YSD - About remaining neutral; the naga decide they can't remain neutral but Arcelos opposes that and convinces them in something else.
Can someone else comment other stuff please? I specialise in storylines, not stats and balancing
Stats and balancing is kind of my speciality ... Which is why I pointed out that the Leviathan is imballanced. Putting it's speed to 7 would make it better.
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What will happen now?
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted December 10, 2006 02:52 PM |
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted December 10, 2006 05:19 PM |
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Quote:
Well excuse me, but it does not make sense. I'm the one who pointed this out, and I'm fairly good in reading english. There's something that needs explaining in that sentence - but maybe the problem is that the phrase "third eclipse demon "dragon hunt"" is pure nonsense to me.
Oh, you mean "was it even held... or its whole purpose was the destruction of Sitnalta". Yeah, ok, my bad. I didn't notice that. Let me correct it:
It is debated whether the "dragon hunt" was even held, or the Third Eclipse demon army's goal was just the destruction of Sitnalta.
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted December 10, 2006 06:01 PM |
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Yeah, that's much better. I'm still not positive I understand completely which Dragon Hunt we're talking about, but I suppose that's not crucial.
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What will happen now?
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted December 10, 2006 06:10 PM |
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It's mentioned in the official storyline, during a brief lunar eclipse a band of demons enters the world and starts a bloody secret war to hunt down all knights of the order of dragons or something like that
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted December 10, 2006 06:11 PM |
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Oh, I see! Thanx for Enlighting me.
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What will happen now?
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted December 11, 2006 10:37 PM |
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No problem...
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SBlister
Famous Hero
Rakshasa Commander
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posted December 14, 2006 10:58 PM |
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Gnoll_Mage
Responsible
Supreme Hero
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posted December 15, 2006 12:16 AM |
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Sorry for the delay, I was called away unexpectedly and have been very busy for the last few days.
I should be able to sort out one uber-pdf before the end of the weekend; there are some issues still to sort out I expect, but I will do my best.
"I'm fairly good in reading english"
Well I am English, and that sentence doesn't seem to make much sense - it seems your linguistic skills are as good as ever Alc!
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Gnoll_Mage
Responsible
Supreme Hero
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posted December 17, 2006 07:44 PM |
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Okay, I take that back, it'll take me a bit longer. I have a design, which hasn't worked out as well as the other one (although I'm quite pleased with the swords shape - I hope this is what was wanted). This is the working document.
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Daystar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Back from the Dead
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posted December 17, 2006 08:16 PM |
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need me to do any graphics?
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Gnoll_Mage
Responsible
Supreme Hero
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posted December 17, 2006 08:18 PM |
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Feel free to do what you want, I'm sure it will be appreciated (although if you mean creature drawings I think some people are against `forcing ideas` onto Ubival...)
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Daystar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Back from the Dead
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posted December 17, 2006 08:19 PM |
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okay. Could you sortof tell me what to do?
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Gnoll_Mage
Responsible
Supreme Hero
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posted December 17, 2006 08:42 PM |
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Well you can try to come up with a layout for the Stronghold like I've just done, since I'm not exactly keen on mine and besides it's too similar to the other one (one page of this is included in the above document for comparison). Beyond that I can't really say, as I've not been involved enough in the project. Thanks for the offer; I suggest finding one of the other guys (SBlister, Baklava etc.).
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted December 18, 2006 08:34 PM |
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Well some insignia would be cool, like, say, a couple of weapons, perhaps a banner or two, stuff like that. Accessories. Everyone likes accessories.
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This thread is pages long: 
