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| Thread: Humour, puns & Stand-up Comedy |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 · NEXT» |
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted May 12, 2008 12:21 AM |
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Edited by Lexxan at 00:21, 12 May 2008.
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Humour, puns & Stand-up Comedy
Yeah Humour !
Humour is a special thing; It differs from person to person and from country to country. So humour is very variable, so variable it needs a separate thread.
So, what's the meaning of this ?
We discuss all kinds of humour you like or that's specific in your country. Discussing, Giving examples everything is possible. You may post something funny, but if it is in a language other than English, make sure it's subtitled 
What can be posted?
Everything that's funny and can make people laugh, as long as it isn't provocative in any kind of way.
Sour or boring people aren't allowed, special discount of bored or funny HC-members and moderators.
Post, laugh and live !!!
I'll start: Welcome to Hell
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted May 12, 2008 12:31 AM |
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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller?
Neither did she!
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Eccentric Opinion
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Daystar
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Back from the Dead
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posted May 12, 2008 03:22 AM |
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Lol, when I saw this thread's tile Welcome to Hell was the first thing that came to mind!
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How exactly is luck a skill?
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Guitarguy
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Rockoon.
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posted May 12, 2008 10:40 AM |
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Believe it or not, I've been digging the idea of being a stand-up comedian (or a reasonable facsimile) in recent years. Some RL friends have remarked about the dry wit I occasionally catch people off-guard with. I'm not as funny as some other people and I'm not terribly prolific, so it's mostly just a w/d of mine. Sadly, I cannot offer any good ones at the moment.
-Guitarguy
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 12, 2008 10:45 AM |
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Hey, GuitarGuy, I've been thinking of that too! It's just that you have to be really, really good at it to achieve any kind of success, let alone making a living off it.
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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Guitarguy
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Rockoon.
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posted May 12, 2008 10:59 AM |
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Quote:
It's just that you have to be really, really good at it to achieve any kind of success, let alone making a living off it.
Yeah, it's supposed to be really tough to make it big. (Some people say that a lot of comedians are troubled individuals, so maybe I'll fit the bill. ) I wouldn't mind being an amateur performer, though, like for parties or special events if I ever improve. I get a kick out of making people laugh, especially since they never expect it from antisocial little me.
And while reading stand-up jokes on paper (or online posts) can still be funny, there's nothing quite like hearing them delivered by a comic with exceptionally good timing.
-Guitarguy
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted May 12, 2008 11:09 AM |
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Edited by william at 11:34, 12 May 2008.
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Are you sure they are not laughing at you instead of with you? Just kidding. I have always known you to be funny, Guitarguy, however I didn't know you wanted to be a comedian or something.
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Guitarguy
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Rockoon.
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posted May 12, 2008 11:22 AM |
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Quote:
re you sure they are not laughing at you instead of with you? Just kidding.
William Strikes Again!!!
Arguing Chatting it up with William has proven to be an excellent opportunity to improve my humor. My ability to think up witty comebacks has effectively doubled or tripled as a result.  
-Guitarguy
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 12, 2008 11:28 AM |
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Quote:
And while reading stand-up jokes on paper (or online posts) can still be funny, there's nothing quite like hearing them delivered by a comic with exceptionally good timing.
So true. I can do all that in real life, and I'm actually quite good at it... But being funny online is a whole different art, and one I can't claim to be any good at.
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted May 12, 2008 11:37 AM |
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Edited by Azagal at 11:38, 12 May 2008.
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That's not true! You make me laugh! And I have a decent sense of humor... right()?
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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Spectrum
Famous Hero
Plan B
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posted May 12, 2008 11:40 AM |
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Well thank you Azzie. One does try.
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Aculias is like the male nipple of HC, TNT being the other one -Baklava
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted May 12, 2008 11:46 AM |
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@ Lexxan, that's really nice, have you seen the version by Xander Derycke by any chance?
And I would like to post two links.
One link is purely absurd Charlie the unicorn
One link is about incomprehensible death metal wargazm
I could give a few dutch ones, but that would be just plain silly. (though you can find Alex Agnews entire routine on youtube.
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted May 12, 2008 12:13 PM |
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Edited by Lexxan at 13:37, 12 May 2008.
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Gares, I've found Hans Teeuwen in English! Shall I post it ? 
as for now: Pink tights and plenty of props in English with Dutch subtitles
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted May 12, 2008 10:55 PM |
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Seriously, Hans Teeuwen? He's über... It will be more difficult in english, but I think it's worth the effort lol
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted May 12, 2008 11:02 PM |
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Edited by Lexxan at 23:10, 12 May 2008.
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Well, yeah ,I meant subtitled
Here's the Puppetshow in Dutch iwth English subtitles...
I also found Nostradamus in English: I doubting between using the English version or to translate the downright superior Dutch version.
Just a pity "snelkookpan" wasn't translated 
Blokfluitles, blokfluitles, Debbie amputeert haar eigen borsten met een mes!
Blokfluitles, blokfluitles, Debbie amputeert haar eigen borsten met een mes!
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted May 12, 2008 11:13 PM |
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Well, I don't think that even needed subtitles. It was one of hi most (in)famous bits. Nicely done, Lexxan.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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Lord_of_Chaos
Known Hero
Chaotic Entity
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posted May 13, 2008 03:40 PM |
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This guy,Dimitri Martin is hilarious. Someone used his comedy act and added pictured to it, which imo, adds to the effect.
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My artwork Here
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted May 13, 2008 11:39 PM |
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Hans Teeuwen's Nostradamus
The best version is the Dutch version
Here's the translation in bold.
Z'n naam was Nostradamus
His name was Nostradamus
Hij kon heel good voorspellen
He was very good at predicting
Daar kon je 'm, bij wijze van spreken, de hele nacht voor bellen
You could, figuratively, phone in him the middle of the night for that
Maar 'k weet da' niet waar is, bespaar me dus uw hoon
Yet I know that ain't true, thus spare me your jeer,
Want, in de tijd van Nostradamus was er nog geen telefoon.
'cause, in Nostradamus's time, phones didn't exist.
Chorus
Nostradamus, Nostradamus, Nostradamus met zijn strakke, groene broek;
Nostradamus, Nostradamus, Nostradamus, in his trousers green and tight
Die stond hem goed
He looked alright
Jaah! Nostradamus, Nostradamus, Nostradamus met zijn strakke, groene broek;
Yeaaah! Nostradamus, Nostradamus, Nostradamus, in his trousers green and tight
Die stond hem goed
He looked alright
Jaaah! Z'n naam was Nostradamus, toen ging hij naar 'n café,
Yeaaah! His name was Nostradamus, then he went to a pub,
en dan ging ie daar een heleboel stennis lopen trappen...
and then started to cause a lot of mayhem...
en toen zij 'n mens tegen Nostradamus, mischien kan je dan wel goed voorspellen,
and then someone spoke to Nostradamus, ye may be good at predicting,
maar dat wil natuurlijk niet zeggen dat je automatisch dan ook een heleboel stennis kan lopen trappen...
but that of course doesn't mean you automatically can cause a lot of mayhem everywhere
Chorus
Jaaah ! Z'n naan was Nostradamus, hij werd een keer gevraagd
Yeaaah! His name was Nostradamus, once he was asked
om mee te doen in een speelfilm
to act in a long movie
maar Nostradamus had geen tijd en da's toen niet doorgegaan...
But Nostradamus didn't have any time for it, so that didn't work...
Chorus
Jaah! Z'n naam was Nostradamus, hij vond dat als je een huisdier aanschaft,
Yeaaah! His name was Nostradamus, he thought that, when you purchase a pet
dat je dan toch ook wel de verantwoordelijk voor moet dragen
that you also have to take responsability
Wel, eigenlijk zou hij daarover niets moeten zeggen, want hij had zelf twee Sint-Bernardshonden, en die liet ie bijna nooit uit
Wel, actually he shouldn't preach aboput it, whence he himself had two ST-Bernards and he never took them for a walk
Chorus
Jaaah! Z'n naam was Nostradamus, hij had ook een achterneef
Yeaaah ! His name was Nostradamus, He had a grand-nephew
en die had een electriciteitswinkel
who runned an electrician's shop
Hij vertelde Nostradamus dat ie vakantiewerk kon gaan doen, maar dat hoefde niet
He told Nostradamus that he can doe vacation jobs there, but he didn't need to
Chorus
Jaah! Z'n naam was Nostradamus, en hij droeg zoals ik al zei
Yeaaah ! His name Was Nowtradamus, and he wore, as I already said,
zo van die strakke groene broeken
some kind of tight green trousers
en toen zeiden van die mensen tegen Nostradamus, zou je niet eens zo van die andere broeken aantrekken
and then people said to Nostradamus, "wouldn't you ware other kinds of pants ?"
maar dan zei Nostradamus, "ik zal wel zelf beslissen welke sort broeken dat ik aantrek"
but then Nostradamus replied, "I will decide for myself what kind of pants I want to ware!"
Chorus
Zijn groene broek, strakke, groene, broek
his green trousers, green tight trousers
Zijn groene broek, strakke, groene, broek
his green trousers, green tight trousers
met een dikke dikke bobbel, strakke groene broek
with a fat fat bulge, green tight trousers
die dikke lul van Nostradamus
that fat **** of Nostradamus
die grote dikke vette zweterige lul van Nostradamus
that big, fat, thick, sweaty **** of Nostradamus
en allemaal van die lekk're dikke wijven naaien Nostradamus
and all kind of fat, gorgeous women **** Nostradamus
en ook nog goed voorspellen !
and being good at predicting as well!
for people who are too lame to read this here's the English version
ENjoy
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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Moonlith
Bad-mannered
Supreme Hero
If all else fails, use Fiyah!
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posted May 14, 2008 03:08 PM |
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Rowan Atkinson
Hans Teeuwen is still one of the best from Dutch ground
As is Bert Visscher : Gnome The latter half is un-understandable for non-Dutchies, but the first half is easily understood
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted May 14, 2008 04:07 PM |
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Moontlith, LoC and Gares 
@ the other, c'mon people, post some more funny stuff
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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