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Disturbed-Gnu
Supreme Hero
Pro Bacon Vodka Brewer
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posted November 30, 2010 03:06 PM |
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Quote: Well, if it's friends or partner, and I really cared for my partner, I'd choose her every time over friends, no exceptions. maybe that's just me.
Okay, that i have to agree. Otherwise i would lie.. but friends is still important to keep as close as girlfriends. Its not fun when the girl takes all your time, then you just lose your friends... So i made a deal with my x, Every time i was with my friends, she could be there, but she had to do whatever we wanted, and that worked fine.
Quote: What's the point of relationship if we can't fulfill our dreams together? Or precisely: don't want to.
Well, we live in the real world, thats why.. ;p.. You cant bring a girl everywhere to everything.. At some point she just doesn't follow you. Another example. When i whanted to play Hardball wars or go to clubs she wouldnt come.. So you cant always have the girl with you.. I know theres a huge step between hardball and real big dreams, but again, it was just an example..
Quote: Certainly that wasn't pleasant. But her urge to go was stronger than the urge to keep the relationship, and there's no point in denying it.
Ofcourse it was. I don't know anyone hwo would put down their dreams for a person.. If the love is "real" you would get back together when she came home again.. But still, thats just not reality..
Quote: I'm a kind of person that places relationship on the top of the food chain. Nothing is more important. and I suspect it's fair if I sort of require the same from my partner.
Respekt even though i don't understand it at all.. I even put my job higher than any girl. Then dream, then girl, then sex, then friends, then booze, and then my family..
Quote: If she's a different person, there's no point in continuing the relationship if we can't be the most important thing to each other. Sorry. I have seen enough emotion-less, pointless marriages, where people just live with each other without any common goals or feelings. I think that's pointless. I'd rather be alone than to do something like that.
Yeah, my grandparrents are such a couple!! It sucks to see people marry each other, and then after some years hate each other.. (That is when a divorce becomes usefull)
Quote: If my partner thinks otherwise, it would be best for me and her to find a more suitable person.
I still don't agree even though you made some good points..
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JoonasTo
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
What if Elvin was female?
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posted November 30, 2010 03:10 PM |
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Quote: I even put my job higher than any girl. Then dream, then girl, then sex, then friends, then booze, and then my family..
You have snowed up priorities, you know that?
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DON'T BE A NOOB, JOIN A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 03:41 PM |
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I have no problems with different priorities.
But I just don't think people with different priorities make good relationships.
Hence a relationship where a girl wants to have fun 2 years and you want something else imho won't work well.
But two people not really caring about each other, i.e. focused on career? That can work well.
Quote: If the love is "real" you would get back together when she came home again..
If the love was real, she would never leave you intentionally.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 04:55 PM |
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the problem I see in relationships is that people are too egoist. they all have their own dreams, goals and it acts as a barrier between them and other people. they can't have a true relationship because they are focused on their goal and not on the other one, who is just like a tool they use to achieve their goal, though, most people aren't aware of that.
we say we love a person, but we just like what we get from him / her.
though, that doesn't necessarily mean it's not going to work, you can have a very satisfying relationship with someone without loving him / her
I mean, you probably imagined from what I say stuffs like girls marrying men for their money.
but let's say you feel void, and meet someone who makes you feel good, you call it true love, but do you love the other person or the sensation you feel when you are with her? she wants to go live on her side and you don't want to let her go, so you don't like her, you just want to use her to feel good.
if we thought very deeply about that, I think most of us would realise we don't really love anyone.
like doomforge said, it's all about common goals, can I use you to reach what I want, and can you use me for the same goal?
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1910
Known Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 05:24 PM |
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Lol, reading the last page or so I just have to say that I don't think many if any of you actually know what you're talking about and don't know what true love is. Common goals? Job before Girlfriend? Lol, right. Just proves my point really.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 06:23 PM |
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What makes you think you're better than us, William? Because of a different viewpoint?
Some people actually love their, say, families, but their work is the most important thing of their life and they never hide that.
Not all of us have identical "emotion matrix".
My only point is that people with conflicting attitudes towards priorities (or simply speaking, different priorities) shouldn't be in relationships with each other.
If you're a home person and your partner is career-obsessed type of woman, for example, you will be not happy with each other, most likely, because she wants the opposite of what you want.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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1910
Known Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 06:46 PM |
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Read my post. I didn't say I am better than you. I just think you'd have a different perspective if you actually knew what true love is. I very sincerely doubt, based upon the way you do see things now, that you have had the pleasure of experiencing it yet. I admit, I used to think a similar way as you do but then my perspective changed when I knew what true love was. I mean, I still have my dreams and all (my dreams can't exactly be shared with my gf nor should it matter as that's my own and vice versa). I still put job high, but I put my gf before job, before my friends because she IS my best friend, as any gf should be really.
I can't understand why people view work as more important than people. I mean, there are a lot out there but I just know I'd never be like that and I can't understand it. Their prerogative and all but yeah.
I understand that you have different priorities and all but in time, I do think they will change when you find out what it is. That's all I was really saying.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 06:58 PM |
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But I also put girlfriend before my friends, and work, school, yada yada.
I only point out that there aren't people who think like that. Such a girl won't be happy with a relationship with me.
Been there done that. After as many attempts as mine, your viewpoint would also change. Love cannot conquer all, if we don't let it. And you absolutely can't force your partner to.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted November 30, 2010 07:02 PM |
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Hehe I am sure Will read my love thoughts but I only got one word for it now
Yall already know what the word is
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Dreaming of a Better World
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1910
Known Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 07:03 PM |
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You just haven't found the right person yet. Obvious with the amount of attempts you have. I'm sure you would think differently when you do find the right partner and all. That was all I was saying really.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 07:09 PM |
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I wouldn't be so sure. I'm in relationship for a year now, mind you
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 08:31 PM |
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how do you know it was true love?
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 09:06 PM |
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Quote: we say we love a person, but we just like what we get from him / her...
do you love the other person or the sensation you feel when you are with her?
What difference does it make? It's the same thing.
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Eccentric Opinion
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1910
Known Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 09:11 PM |
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Quote: how do you know it was true love?
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted November 30, 2010 09:37 PM |
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I know that the vast majority of people 16-20+ think they do. Before they break up and realize that it's not as simple.
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 09:40 PM |
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William, I believe Fauch asked you, not me.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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1910
Known Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 10:29 PM |
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Elvin, you're right with most people. I'm not like that however.
Doomforge, actually, I'm sure he was asking you as you said you've been in a relationship for a year. If he was, though I myself doubt it, asking me, then I guess I know because it's just one of those things. When you leave, she instantly misses you, the feeling you get when with one another, being able to be comfortable even without saying a word, not having to say I love you because you know that they do and that you love them, the intense feeling inside when you meet up with them, missing them as soon as they go etc etc. There's just so many reasons. For me, it's not like a High school love or anything, I want to spend the rest of my life with this person. Last year, with my then-girlfriend, I knew it was never going to last but this one does. It is hard to explain the feelings you get because it's different for each person but I'm sure you know what I'm getting at.
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bLiZzArdbOY
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted November 30, 2010 10:32 PM |
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There are many reasons that something can't work, but only a few reasons why something can work. If you're beyond the giddy dating stage and searching for a serious relationship, you're very foolish not to be practical and level-headed about it.
You want:
-Similar interests
-Similar political and religious views
-Mutual sexual appetite for each other (this typically is the one thing that takes care of itself)
-Similar intelligence
-Similar goals
If you're lacking even 1 of those 5, you're putting yourself in jeopardy.
Opposites have a tendency to attract, but there are things you can be opposite on and still have a harmonious relationship and other things that being opposite on inevitably either leads to conflict or one person bowing down to the other person. If one person loves vibrant colors and another person loves earth-tones, they can easily compliment one another. If one person is an atheistic socialist that loves big cities and doesn't want to have any kids and another person is an individualistic theist that wants to live in the mountains and have four children, you've got a problem.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 10:35 PM |
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William, no offense, but how do you know this is not a teenage crush, but real love? What you describe we've all experienced when we were in first relationship. Maybe you just experienced that later? And considered that it's true love because it differs.
I actually think that you can only say your love was true from the perspective of time. Not when it's still fresh and you have a crush on someone.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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1910
Known Hero
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posted November 30, 2010 10:38 PM |
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Edited by 1910 at 22:39, 30 Nov 2010.
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Well, no. I know this is true love. Like I said, it's hard to write down exactly how it is. Those are things that I feel, that doesn't mean it's not true love. And lol, this is a bit more than a crush. I could go in detail exactly everything we've been through that makes it truly special but I'm sure you'd not be interested.
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