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Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
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posted April 12, 2009 07:35 AM |
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Quote:
Time for me saying my problem... :
Well at the school we are 7 very close friends(3 boys and 4 girls)...From when we met with the one of the girls something attracted me to her but not too much to say that I love her.But the last 2 months I am insanely in love with her...I know it's love...I don't sleep...I write poems about her and also there is not the thing that she is really beatifull...I mean now for me she's the prettiest girl I have ever seen but 2 years ago when I didn' like her much she didn't seem to be...The thing is that I have to choose between the security and the risk...
Security gives me friendship while risk is heaven...
What should I do?!?
Take the secure way not telling her anything but staying friends or risk it by telling her that I love her but in case she does not love me we may stop being friends?!?
DG:Congratz
This is a difficult position to be in. Especially if she has already put you in the 'friend zone'. Believe me it can be tough to get out of that box. However, you are not doing either of you any favors by not telling her. Because it might lead to bitterness. I say go for it, but again even though I have had many relationships I may be the LAST person you want to listen to.
____________
Message received.
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Nidhgrin
Honorable
Famous Hero
baking cookies from stardust
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posted April 12, 2009 09:42 AM |
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Edited by Nidhgrin at 09:43, 12 Apr 2009.
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Hello kesnar. The way you describe your feelings sounds more like you have a serious crush on this girl, rather than being genuinly in love with her (already). Don't get me wrong, perhaps love can grow, but it sounds like you've got it bad... Crushes make you feel like you're on drugs. Deliriously happy one moment, and depressed the next, just because she did or did not say or do something to you. A crush can make you do weird things, and I'd say writing poems is a good and creative way to deal with this energy. Personally, I think there's nothing wrong with a crush at all!
But there's a serious downside... Because you've been friends with this girl for some time, as Mythical says you have probably been assigned to the 'friend zone'. This doesn't mean you could never be more than friends, but standing in your shoes I would be careful. Why? Because like you say, the love drugs make you feel insanely in love with her. Chances are pretty high she does not have a crush on you at the moment, meaning she could impossibly respond to intense feelings of love right away. In fact, if you would start showering her with attention and love, you might scare her away rather than making her grow closer to you.
If there's one advice I could give you, then choose between letting the crush fade away or take things very slowly. Give true love a chance to grow, and don't push it. Life is long enough and love naturally crosses your path when you're open to it. There's no rush, even though the crush makes you believe there is
Good luck!
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted April 12, 2009 01:38 PM |
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I'm by all means a monogamist.  And mvass, you know, your example..
it's like a man winning million dollars in a lottery and telling people getting rich is easy.
Taking extremes into consideration won't help. It will turn your realistic approach into I-hope-for-a-miracle type of behavior. I may be a dreamer and all of that, but I'm not a hopeless dreamer
In other words: how many teen relationships last through time? Take a quick peek among your friends. I'll tell you how it looks here. When I was 18, I know lots of different couples, hard to estimate the count but let's say 50. You want how much of them are together today?
ZERO.
I'm not joking. Most have ended after the initial fascination, some lasted full 2-3 years (the moment where - as scientists say - fascination naturally ends - usually..) and ended.
So your parents are really lucky guys, I must say.
And I'm not against marriage. I'm for marriage, actually, but a marriage of love. Not teen fascination, loneliness, conformism (everyone does it so I do it too!).. and so on. And I still think that saying "I love you" requires some thought put into it. Not just "I want to bang you, I love you" type of teenish behaviour, but "We spent a good bunch of life together, seen different things, went through different situations, and after all that, I'm certain: I ****ing love you." That's how I want it to be. That's the romantic dream I'm after
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 12, 2009 03:53 PM |
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Quote:
Take a quick peek among your friends. I'll tell you how it looks here.
I know a couple that's been together for five years and they're basically married. Most relationships, though, don't last that long, although I think I am observing the beginnings of one that will.
Quote:
"We spent a good bunch of life together, seen different things, went through different situations, and after all that, I'm certain: I ****ing love you."
Yeah. Except that's not going to be true until after you're married. 
____________
Eccentric Opinion
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted April 12, 2009 04:59 PM |
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sex
____________
Dreaming of a Better World
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted April 12, 2009 06:02 PM |
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Quote:
Yeah. Except that's not going to be true until after you're married.
Not necessarily. You may have lots of different experiences with your partner before you decide to marry well, not unless you rush marriage, of course.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 12, 2009 06:08 PM |
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That's true, but hardly enough to say something like that.
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Eccentric Opinion
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted April 13, 2009 10:03 AM |
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I have had sex
And I think I did pretty good if I have to say so myself
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted April 13, 2009 11:06 AM |
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Gonna be a daddy soon?
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted April 13, 2009 12:15 PM |
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What no?
But I did it.. I did no failure
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted April 13, 2009 02:17 PM |
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____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted April 13, 2009 02:33 PM |
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Good one :P
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted April 13, 2009 02:45 PM |
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted April 13, 2009 11:14 PM |
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Why don't we turn this into a "What's your sex score?" thread 
Quote:
Not necessarily. You may have lots of different experiences with your partner before you decide to marry well, not unless you rush marriage, of course.
One has to also add the children in the equation. People marry before they have kids though.
____________
The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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phoenixreborn
Promising
Legendary Hero
Unicorn
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posted April 14, 2009 01:52 AM |
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And some couples do not have children.
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Bask in the light of my glorious shining unicorn.
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted April 14, 2009 06:59 AM |
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Edited by baklava at 06:59, 14 Apr 2009.
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Quote:
Why don't we turn this into a "What's your sex score?" thread
No, why don't we turn it into another same-crap quote war for your collection?
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted April 14, 2009 04:58 PM |
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When did you say I love you to your girlfriends?
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted April 14, 2009 06:06 PM |
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never
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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emilsn
Legendary Hero
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posted April 14, 2009 06:11 PM |
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Seriosly, have you never said it?
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
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Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
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posted April 14, 2009 06:12 PM |
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yes. Those are serious words for me.
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We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
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