|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
posted May 18, 2009 06:57 PM |
|
|
Well Death, most people DO expect a healthy sexual relationship with their partners. Any problems on that matter can cause great problems. Haven't you heard how many relationships suffered from sexual problems, to a point of their dissolution? 
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
|
|
posted May 18, 2009 07:03 PM |
|
|
Quote:
Nope. The only way truly 100%, and not just a buzz-word 100%, is to not have sex.
So the safest way to have sex is not have sex? Okay...
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
|
|
TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
|
|
posted May 18, 2009 07:17 PM |
|
|
Quote:
Well Death, most people DO expect a healthy sexual relationship with their partners. Any problems on that matter can cause great problems. Haven't you heard how many relationships suffered from sexual problems, to a point of their dissolution?
Yeah. So?
Their fault for having those expectations.
Quote:
So the safest way to have sex is not have sex? Okay...
WTF You said "the only way to be 100% safe is..." and I replied "The only way to be 100% safe from AIDS is to not have sex" (ok not really 100% as it can still be transmitted through open wounds, but you get the point).
____________
The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
|
posted May 18, 2009 07:18 PM |
|
|
100% way not to get AIDS through sex is not having casual sex. There is no way you can get infected via sex if you and the other person just aren't screwing like mad through your life. You don't need to abstain from sex.
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
|
|
posted May 18, 2009 08:10 PM |
|
|
Quote:
1. Where did I say safe sex is worthless?
Nowhere. I blew things out of proportion, out of context and called it a day well spent. 
Quote:
2. Does your epithet "selfish" or whatever change the fact that condoms DO castrate feelings? What's wrong with stating the obvious?
What is an "epithet"?
Yes, it doesn't change the fact that condoms might get in the way of enjoyment in sex. It is just that this might be interpeted as being anti-condom and encouraging not-using a condom and leaving one and one's partner unprotected.
Quote:
3. What feelings are you talking about? I assumed two people in a stable relationship. What STD can be there, assuming they were healthy when they began the relationship (I myself WOULD demand an aids-check from any girl that already had sex - if she gets offended, good riddance!) If they don't cheat, where the heck can they get any STD? It's enough not to screw like an animal, with everyone in sight, I think. And just to be faithful @_@
Did you not watch that episode of Captain Planet? Lets put it into an TheDeath-like analogy: There is a person who in his or her youth was being foolish and caught an STD when participating in unprotected sex. Now this person has much matured from that and is almost a completely different person (other alternatives would be I.E. was strolling in a park, fell over and got pricked by a needle that was on the ground, the disease is inheritent or the person was the victim of a rape; pick the one that suits you best.) You happen to meet this individual and you two begin a path on a promising new relationship. After some time together the person trusts you enough to tell you how he or she got this disease and let you know the truth before the two of you introduce sex into this relationship. You call this person with some nasty name and that he or she should get the hell out of your airspace and never return. The person gets very upset, starts crying and runs away thinking: "If only you could have understood."
3,5.
Quote:
Or are you paranoid, expecting STD everywhere, even in stable non-cheating relationships?
I am a little germ-a-phobic and one of my mottoes is: "you can never be too sure," but I do not think that I am paranoid.
Quote:
4. If anything is hippie, it's the "safe sex" propaganda, in other words "use a condom, screw everyone you see" approach - utterly animalistic anyway?
That is not true at all! Many of such propaganda campaigns also advocate personal responsibility, emotional maturity and how sex shouldn't be considered the centerpiece of existence or any relationship.
Quote:
5. Not using condoms and asking the girl (IN STABLE RELATIONSHIP) to take pills is selfish? Do you think trying to have sex, getting FLACCID because of lack of sensation and humiliating yourself/not pleasing the other person is actually better? 11
I guess it's not selfish. However I must ask you what would you do if she said no? What if she says that she feels more secure with a condom and also brings up the point that the pills might mess with her hormonal functions if they are perscriptioned badly? I guess that you could argue that she is being the selfish one in that situation, but you might be potentially risking her health just because condoms are getting in between you and the stimulation of your penis during sex acts.
Quote:
I see you have not understood at all what I wanted to say.
So have you my dearie, so have you.
Quote:
My point is: in a RELATIONSHIP, condoms are a waste of time.
No they aren't. They are just as viable for contraception as any other measure.
Quote:
And no, I don't think contraception is a waste of time, if that's what you suggested.
Some impressionable and ignorant teen/adolecent might get some stupid ideas from what you have stated earlier.
Quote:
Pills are simply better, for many reasons.
Would you like to name a few?
Quote:
people that have lots of random sex are obviously very possible to threat us with some STDs.) However, I still think the best way would be to avoid such people and random sex altogether.
In this part we can both agree.
P.S. I would also like to point out that you might be a bad influence for kids when you instruct an insecure adolescent on finding information on enlarging one's penis.
____________
Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
|
posted May 18, 2009 09:00 PM |
|
|
Quote:
What is an "epithet"?
epithet
Quote:
It is just that this might be interpeted as being anti-condom and encouraging not-using a condom and leaving one and one's partner unprotected.
Well, that wasn't what I meant.
Quote:
Did you not watch that episode of Captain Planet? Lets put it into an TheDeath-like analogy: There is a person who in his or her youth was being foolish and caught an STD when participating in unprotected sex. Now this person has much matured from that and is almost a completely different person (other alternatives would be I.E. was strolling in a park, fell over and got pricked by a needle that was on the ground, the disease is inheritent or the person was the victim of a rape; pick the one that suits you best.) You happen to meet this individual and you two begin a path on a promising new relationship. After some time together the person trusts you enough to tell you how he or she got this disease and let you know the truth before the two of you introduce sex into this relationship. You call this person with some nasty name and that he or she should get the hell out of your airspace and never return. The person gets very upset, starts crying and runs away thinking: "If only you could have understood."
Still, it doesn't relate to the fact that STD just don't occur when two people start a relationship while being healthy and not cheating on each other - the whole thing I wanted to point out (as response to Mytical's comment)
Call me evil, but I would dump such a person, but in a polite manner, without calling names and all - it's good that she honestly told me before infecting me, but just because she did, it doesn't mean I have to actually accept it and her youth's foolishness. Sorry, but no, and her feelings.. oh well. I must be an insensitive bastard, but I wouldn't care either. Assuming it was because of unprotected sex, that is.
Quote:
I guess it's not selfish. However I must ask you what would you do if she said no? What if she says that she feels more secure with a condom and also brings up the point that the pills might mess with her hormonal functions if they are perscriptioned badly?
There would be no sex then. Well, pity, but I could cope with that. I would not force the other person to agree to my terms, but I wouldn't agree to something that doesn't make sense to me either. So the only compromise here is: sorry babe, no sex.
Quote:
I guess that you could argue that she is being the selfish one in that situation, but you might be potentially risking her health just because condoms are getting in between you and the stimulation of your penis during sex acts.
Funny, but there would be little to none pleasure - if any at all - if I'd be using condoms systematically. I don't wont to get in details on those boards, but they just don't serve me well. And if she doesn't want to "risk her health", fine, no problem - really. She just has to cope with the fact that there will be no sex. 
Quote:
No they aren't. They are just as viable for contraception as any other measure.
In a stable relationship?
1. tiresome to put them every day (assuming you do have sex every day. Far fetched, but whatever.) Kills the mood (stop, I have to put the rubber on.. -__-).
2. Kill sensations. People aren't young forever. Add aging to that and you may have problems maintaining wood altogether after some time.
3. May break.
4. Don't work well with lubes.
5. Pregnancy rates (first year, latex)
Perfect use 2%
Typical use 10 - 18%
That's rather.. poor, don't you think? For a solid method, pills offer as much as 0.05% and as low as 2% when it comes to perfect use (depending on the method) and 2-9% for typical use, which IS way better.
Sorry to quote wiki on that matter, not the most reliable source of information, but I'm too lazy to check elsewhere whether those numbers are correct ;D
In a stable relationship, the arguably best benefit of using condoms - protection against STDs - just doesn't matter, making them arguably poor choice of a long-term method.
Quote:
Some impressionable and ignorant teen/adolecent might get some stupid ideas from what you have stated earlier.
When I was a teen, I could read, and I did some research on contraception before I actually started thinking about sex. I expect the same behavior from other teens. If they don't care, it's their problem, not mine.
Quote:
Would you like to name a few?
Sure.
1. You can always have sex - no need to search for condoms, put them on, carry them with you.
2. Don't kill the mood. You just don't think about contraception. Very convenient if you ask me.
3. 100% sensation
4. Highest efficiency beside sterilization.
5. Mechanical failure doesn't apply.
To name a few.
Quote:
P.S. I would also like to point out that you might be a bad influence for kids when you instruct an insecure adolescent on finding information on enlarging one's penis.
What's wrong with that? I mean, did you bother to read through that site? There are no pills or pumps used, just your hands, and so many people claims it works, why should we actually NOT believe in it? Because so called "science" claims so? Well, there is a good explanation why "science" has never agreed with it on that site, but since it's very OT, I don't think it's the best place to discuss it.
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
|
|
posted May 18, 2009 10:29 PM |
|
|
Quote:
Still, it doesn't relate to the fact that STD just don't occur when two people start a relationship while being healthy and not cheating on each other - the whole thing I wanted to point out (as response to Mytical's comment)
People make mistakes. I personally can forgive that. I am aware that some can not.
Quote:
Call me evil, but I would dump such a person, but in a polite manner, without calling names and all - it's good that she honestly told me before infecting me, but just because she did, it doesn't mean I have to actually accept it and her youth's foolishness. Sorry, but no, and her feelings.. oh well. I must be an insensitive bastard, but I wouldn't care either. Assuming it was because of unprotected sex, that is.
Is it because you would always have to wear a condom when having sex so you don't get infected as well?
Quote:
I don't wont to get in details on those boards, but they just don't serve me well. And if she doesn't want to "risk her health", fine, no problem - really. She just has to cope with the fact that there will be no sex.
You are just being childish. So is it: "Submit to my demands or find yourself in the recycle bin" ?
Quote:
2. Don't kill the mood. You just don't think about contraception. Very convenient if you ask me.
Sounds like a great way to leave all of the responsibility and worries to your partner.
Quote:
What's wrong with that? I mean, did you bother to read through that site? There are no pills or pumps used, just your hands, and so many people claims it works, why should we actually NOT believe in it? Because so called "science" claims so? Well, there is a good explanation why "science" has never agreed with it on that site, but since it's very OT, I don't think it's the best place to discuss it.
That is not the point. It is how you might influence a person who is insecure at a rather touchy age that I find more questionable. One should learn to live with himself/herself. That doesn't mean that one shouldn't try and better oneself, but not to be insecure and worried about things that you can have from little to no effect upon, such as the size of one's penis.
____________
Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
|
posted May 18, 2009 10:46 PM |
|
|
Quote:
Is it because you would always have to wear a condom when having sex so you don't get infected as well?
I don't have random sex.
Quote:
You are just being childish. So is it: "Submit to my demands or find yourself in the recycle bin" ?
You are just being submissive. Relationship doesn't mean I have to agree and submit to every stupid idea just because she is a woman and I am supposed to listen (as some "modern pseudoknights" seem to believe.. no, I don't mean you.) It's not that I try to prove how much of a manly man I am in relationships, but I hate the lack of self-assertion. I propose solution A, she proposes solution B, I don't like her solution and she doesn't like mine. But why I must be the one to submit? There are things called compromises for a reason. And the only logical compromise here would be : no sex.
Quote:
Sounds like a great way to leave all of the responsibility and worries to your partner.
Not that I have any choice, there are no male pills in common use. I wouldn't mind taking them if they existed, though.
Quote:
That is not the point. It is how you might influence a person who is insecure at a rather touchy age that I find more questionable. One should learn to live with himself/herself. That doesn't mean that one shouldn't try and better oneself, but not to be insecure and worried about things that you can have from little to no effect upon, such as the size of one's penis.
It has as much effect as height, pretty face or stylish clothes: boosts your self esteem. And nowadays, people are really lacking it.
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
|
|
posted May 18, 2009 11:19 PM |
|
|
Quote:
I don't have random sex.
Would you please define random sex before I get even more confused?
Quote:
You are just being submissive. Relationship doesn't mean I have to agree and submit to every stupid idea just because she is a woman and I am supposed to listen (as some "modern pseudoknights" seem to believe.. no, I don't mean you.) It's not that I try to prove how much of a manly man I am in relationships, but I hate the lack of self-assertion. I propose solution A, she proposes solution B, I don't like her solution and she doesn't like mine. But why I must be the one to submit? There are things called compromises for a reason. And the only logical compromise here would be : no sex.
Well I wasn't telling you to let her play Rorschach.
In this particular case you two would just play a game that is full of pressure and it would either end up with one of you or your relationship cracking under it.
Quote:
It has as much effect as height, pretty face or stylish clothes: boosts your self esteem. And nowadays, people are really lacking it.
Instead of just treating the symptoms you could go after the source wich is being too demanding of yourself, but I guess that you just wanted to help the poor chap get up when he was down.
____________
Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
|
posted May 19, 2009 08:09 AM |
|
|
Quote:
Would you please define random sex before I get even more confused?
Something like sex with a girl I have never seen before, dead drunk, on some stupid party.
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
Mytical
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Chaos seeking Harmony
|
|
posted May 19, 2009 08:20 AM |
|
|
Doomforge, what you don't seem to understand is that the person you enter a relationship does not exsist in a 'bubble' before meeting you. Chances are very good that they have had sexual relations. IF they have had sexual relations, they might not even know if they have a STD. Also no contraceptive, besides abstinence, is 100% effective to prevent child birth. So if you really want a great chance not to have children which is better? 1 99.999% chance of not having children, or a 99.999% chance and then another 99.999% chance IF it gets past the first 99.999% chance?
____________
Message received.
|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
|
posted May 19, 2009 08:31 AM |
|
|
I already wrote I ask for a HIV test. I know that in those strange times, girls lose their virginity when 13 yo, don't worry.
Everything else can be treated. No problem.
All that remains is to be faithful to the other person and you can forget about STDs. It's easy. Unless you get infected, idk, at the dentist, but that's not "sexually" transmitted disease anymore.
As for the contraception, 0.05% error rate is better than 2%, if you ask me
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
|
|
posted May 20, 2009 09:07 PM |
|
|
Okay, I'm starting to miss her...
Someone kill me, so I don't have to think aout this anymore, my head hurts, I have slept like 14 hours the last three days and I am very stressful, in fact I start taking a lot of air and not let go of that. Is that stress? I don't know. Kill me, now!
God, why did we break up? Because there was little communication and affection...
Did you think this would make it better?
i don't know. I jut couldn't handle the relationship anymore.
If you're both sad, then why not just continue again?
Because things will go back to worse and I'll be let down again, once I want to rely on her.
Then why complain?
Because it still doesn't take away the fact I loved her and miss her.
This is one of those 'Dagoth-things' again, isn't it?
I just... Don't Know... What to do...
Help me, I'm young, foolish and inexperienced with the emotional balance of a doped up emo-kid.
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
|
|
Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
|
|
posted May 20, 2009 09:22 PM |
|
|
Relax, what would be unnatural would be not to feel like that. Did you think you can just turn your emotions on and off? You're still human - take your time, get some rest and allow things to take their course. The very fact that you know going back will eventually be for the worse is a good sign.
____________
H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
|
|
emilsn
Legendary Hero
|
|
posted May 20, 2009 10:49 PM |
|
|
I agree with Elvin - Let time heal your sorrow.
____________
Don't walk behind me; I may not
lead. Don't walk in front of me;
I may not follow. Just walk
beside me and be my friend.
|
|
mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
|
|
posted May 20, 2009 10:54 PM |
|
|
Dagoth, my advice to you is simple: just pull yourself together. For a moment, disregard affection and just think, "Is it feasible for me to pursue a relationship with her?" The answer to that seems to be no. And so it shall be.
____________
Eccentric Opinion
|
|
Doomforge
Admirable
Undefeatable Hero
Retired Hero
|
|
posted May 20, 2009 11:06 PM |
|
|
Poor Dagoth.
Quote:
God, why did we break up? Because there was little communication and affection...
Because she didn't care for you as much as you did care for her. Remember what I said about taking the blame for something that went the natural way? You disagreed.. maybe you will agree now (and it would help you, too! no self pity please!).
If you honestly cared, than it's HER "fault" - well, technically, it's not a fault to get bored of someone, but.. bah.
Now ask yourself: would you lower yourself to some pitiful entertainer that pretty much begs for attention? What has happened is better.. for both of you. You retained your dignity... she can get someone she will get along better. I know it feels bad, but it would feel even worse to remain in a toxic relationship, as you may already know.
Something that doesn't work just doesn't "get better"... not if you are both teens..
Quote:
Help me, I'm young, foolish and inexperienced with the emotional balance of a doped up emo-kid.
We have all been there. Sad, lonely, making bad decisions. It's a part of youth. Now think how many people missed those feelings. The teenage love. They will never have another chance to experience them and see how powerful, how motivating they are.
You have memories to cherish, Dagoth.
____________
We reached to the stars and everything is now ours
|
|
DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
|
|
posted May 20, 2009 11:26 PM |
|
|
Mvass, you know I get emotional and it's hard to stay logical or not sink into philosophical matters.
I think I erected a walll, when I did this, along with burning a bridge...
I severed our initial relationship (though, we'll be friends) and now my pride, shyness and distance with regular people is a wall. Now, these obstacles are to be overcome, but I fear it may just get worse and there's just no place for me to go, once I want to make that cross. I want to try, but I can't remain strong forever, just like last time and I won't risk it anymore. I thought I had someone close to me, but it seems I don't. I lose, either way...
Hell, she claims she cries over us...
I think she still liked the idea of us being in love, but I think or, judging by the times she wanted to correct me, that she wouldn't accept who I am...
Maybe these are concepts too deep for someone my age, but they keep me up sometimes...
Quote:
You disagreed.. maybe you will agree now
We're polar opposites, doom. I'll never be a realist like you!
Seriously, now, is there ever a guarantee that I will be loved again? I'll probably hold someone close again, it's my nature, but what if...
What if I'll be alone, now?
I don't want to be alone...
Oh, by the way, I'm an entertainer, I always have been trying to make people laugh, so I
Quote:
would lower myself to some pitiful entertainer that pretty much begs for attention.
Man, talking about emotional rollercoasters...
____________
If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
|
|
winterfate
Supreme Hero
Water-marked Champion!
|
|
posted May 21, 2009 01:56 AM |
|
|
Quote:
Mvass, you know I get emotional and it's hard to stay logical or not sink into philosophical matters.
@Dagoth: You're only human you know. Trust me when I say that I've been in worse spots emotionally (remember my two or three post outburst in the Random Thoughts thread a while back? ).
You're not emo enough until you have the knife in your hand and ask yourself WTF am I doing? The fact the knife got there is bad enough you know.
Quote:
What if I'll be alone, now?
I don't want to be alone...
And that's where you're wrong. If you ever need anything, I'm here for you. So no, you're not alone.
A good friend (*cough*Elvin*cough*) once told me that "Once you realize how much your friends care about you, you can't be sad anymore" (more like a paraphrase, but the general idea is there. )
I have proven this for fact.
Lemme tell you a little story:
Around the end of January, I found out that the girl I liked had a bf. That, in of itself, sucked, and I was depressed for the better part of 2 months, until I met another girl. Mind you, she:
a) Has a bf already.
b) Is probably the last person that'd be able to see me as more than a friend. 
But...you know what? She gave me the most precious gift anyone could've ever given me. She gave me back my will to live. She is one of the most optimistic human beings I have ever met, and her love of life is something else. It's hard to stay sad around people like that you know. 
And, I'll admit that feeling so happy is scary. Yes, scary. I had been so sad for so long that I had forgotten how to be happy.
And just the other day we were talking and she suddenly said:
"I really appreciate you always being there for me."
That's probably one of the few times anyone has ever said that to me. It gives you the warm and fuzzies, it does.
What I'm trying to say with all of this is that, even when all seems lost and you've given up, that not everyone has given up on you.
Now, chin up Dagoth! Only I'm allowed to get depressed on this forum!
____________
If you supposedly care about someone, then don't push them out of your life. Acting like you're not doing it doesn't exempt you from what I just said. - Winterfate
|
|
Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
|
|
posted May 21, 2009 02:21 AM |
|
|
Being alone is inevitable if just for a while. I have felt the no place to go myself but it's yet another trap of your mind. Even if she was the only one you kept company to for all this time. There will always be people out there for you, that may not even know you but wish for your company. I don't know what would make you feel better for now - maybe be involved in a creative project, hang out with friends or meet new people just to prove to yourself how awesome you are - but you can rest assured that these feelings are only temporary. The decision has been taken, you just need to get things in motion. Doubt will only keep you there wondering when you can do so much more.
____________
H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
|
| |
|
|
This Popular Thread is pages long: 
