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| Thread: I find this very disturbing |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 · «PREV |
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Binabik
Responsible
Legendary Hero
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posted August 10, 2009 07:46 AM |
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Quote:
And of course the "rebellion genes" seem to be present in every child
Especially those feisty Cuban genes?
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JollyJoker
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 10, 2009 08:37 AM |
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This topic is difficult. Generally I agree with Azagal. If you need to discipline a child with spanking, there has been something going wrong with parenting.
Today, lots of children are systematically spoiled: they are allowed too much without having to "earn" it, or, to phrase it differently, they have too many rights and not enough duties.
This is due to the "little prince or princess" attitude nowadays; if children are treated like prince or princess they will behave like some - obviously -, commanding parents, demanding things, have fits of all kind, try to climb centre stage at every opportunity and generally think that the world is revolving around them. Add the loving gradparents, and, well...
You cannot correct this kind of spoiling with spanking - the damage has already been done.
Another factor is guilt that comes into play. If both parents are working or marriages are divorced, a feeling of gult will be there, and the consequence is that one or both parents (not to mention grandparents) will try to compensate, which will turn out bad in general. Children are quick to take advantage of openings, and a feeling of guilt is a very, very big opening.
You shouldn't spank children. You shouldn't spoil them either. Since we are not living in a perfect world, you might add a "too much" to both sentences. It should be clear, though, that you can't compensate one with the other.
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pei
Famous Hero
Fresh Air.
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posted August 19, 2009 10:02 PM |
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Children should be spanked. Children should also know mercy. Children should have a paternal and maternal figure. If a troll has a son, then he will raise a troll. If an educated wizard leaves his tower then the little apprentice will leave books behind & seek the fast way: potions (drugs i mean). One day, the wizard realizes that his son is a barbaric troll & then he decides to fight against the system that has manipulated his young apprentice. But a laugh roars through the undergrounds as Malekith has been playing the role of a dictator but has his young diciplined son by his side, aiding in what tasks he may aid, thankfull of his father´s doing & expecting to help to invade those tower fouls.
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted August 19, 2009 10:43 PM |
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"Beat your kids as soon as they start resembling you", someone once said.
____________
"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Shares
Supreme Hero
I am. Thusly I am.
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posted August 19, 2009 10:43 PM |
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Quote:
How many of you would hit your dog?
I started reading this thread thinking "Jeez! Xerox isn't very well informed about a lot of stuff." (No offence) Soon after laughing (hehe!), and only seconds later I hear my chin dropping to the floor (???)!
Well, as some one said, if a child is spoiled, the parents are already on the wrong path. You can't hit some one for being smug when he/she feels that it's right because he's above other people. It's like teaching your dog to sit then suddenly start hitting it for sitting. You can't punish a kid for doing what he thinks is right, then you first have to teach him that it's wrong.
If we go the other way, a kid that doesn't have anything, raised in a poor family and being bullied and teased by other kids. The can have the best parents in the world but still get messed up. I've even seen it happen, several times. When a person constantly is told lies by his "friends", he stops listening to every one. That kid might have to be slapped to start listening, and please, don't think about the sad depressed little bullied kids. I'm talking about those who suddenly starts shoplifting and stuff. Or even starts abusing people or goes robbing stores and mugging people. They will soon stop listening to reason, it's off course a delicate situation that has to be handled, but a tiny bit of physical interferance is a must, and if the parents don't think they can handle it, they should find help (long before the kid goes ballistic), which is also a much better way of dealing with this particular situation.
My general opinion? Hitting a kid is bad, it almost always does more harm than good, the worst part is that the kid will most likely be able to trust his parents (which they usually deny when they've grown up (propably because they still love their parents or think that there'd be something wrong with them if they admitted they had a hard childhood)), but is sometimes (rarely) the only way.
And Joonas, are you serius about the dog thing?
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted August 19, 2009 10:43 PM |
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Edited by Lexxan at 22:44, 19 Aug 2009.
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Quote:
Children should be spanked. Children should also know mercy. Children should have a paternal and maternal figure. If a troll has a son, then he will raise a troll. If an educated wizard leaves his tower then the little apprentice will leave books behind & seek the fast way: potions (drugs i mean). One day, the wizard realizes that his son is a barbaric troll & then he decides to fight against the system that has manipulated his young apprentice. But a laugh roars through the undergrounds as Malekith has been playing the role of a dictator but has his young diciplined son by his side, aiding in what tasks he may aid, thankfull of his father´s doing & expecting to help to invade those tower fouls.
I find this very disturbing.
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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baklava
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Mostly harmless
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posted August 19, 2009 10:49 PM |
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I know.
I was like  for 10 minutes.
But some things are best left unquoted.
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"Let me tell you what the blues
is. When you ain't got no
money,
you got the blues."
Howlin Wolf
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Lexxan
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Unimpressed by your logic
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posted August 19, 2009 10:51 PM |
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Edited by Lexxan at 22:51, 19 Aug 2009.
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Well, from the moment he started about Trolls, I assumed he was 'joking'
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Coincidence? I think not!!!!
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Shares
Supreme Hero
I am. Thusly I am.
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posted August 19, 2009 11:31 PM |
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Quote:
Honestly, if I ever come across anybody attacking a child, I'll attack them. Dealing with terrorist brats is one thing, I can understand that, but I also understand that violence breeds violence. I used to babysit and I know there are ways to deal with people half your age/size which don't involve mindlessly slapping them about.
Don't! That would remove all the respect that kid might or might not have for the parent. Everything it would have learned from that person would be unlearned, be it it learned it the wrong or the right way! Instea... Wait! Now I'm applying dog-psychology again! Wait! It's practiclly the same. Instead drag the parent of (in a grown up way) and deal with it when the kid doesn't see it.
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Well, I am not a brat terrorist IRL (Internet doesn't count) and people from like Poland would probably consider all children in Sweden spoiled.
People from Poland usually have enough brains not to generalize and succumb to stupid stereotypes.
Salutations and pie for you Doomforge!
After reading the whole thread I conclude that most of us seem to be talking about kids of different ages. I mean kids between 7-12. Hitting twelve year old (a regular twelve year old!) would teach it very little, bordering to nothing. Slapping/spanking a four year old playing with a knife? Well off course! That kid doesn't understand the meaning of the word pain, but it does know pain. It won't react until you go physical, maybe not slapping it, but pulling the knife from it (be careful though). There, you went physical, you got it's unshared attention, sit down, look it STRAIGHT into the eyes and tell it what it did wrong. Young kids want respect, they want to be adults. Then treat them like adults, in their eyes. Level with them and respect them, cause that's what they want. If you look down on your four year old son he wont listen to you. Off course this doesn't work with all kids, we're all different in some way. Then of course we should be treated a bit differently.
Joonas? Hit your dogs? Have you ever had a dog? Then you should know that you may be able to level down to a four year old kid and talk to it, but a dog? Daogs can't see things in several steps. It's impossible to teach a dog that it's ok to sit in the couch on thursdays between 12 and 16 on the afternoon. You can on the other hand teach a kid that, even though a normal parent wouldn't My point is that they way you teach a dog and is very different, even though they have the same psychology they don't have the same understanding. Humans are simply smarter, or we just don't talk dog.
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted August 20, 2009 02:23 AM |
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It's hard these days to set kids straight.
Kids rebel against the parents by listening to bad influence.
Plus how us parents grew up reflects on how kids want to be.
Kids do look up to us but get jealous when they cant do what we did.
We learn our lessons so we can teach our kids not to repeat our mistakes.
Women & kids are almost the same way when it comes to physical contact.
It is not deserved but men can get ran over on by both women & Kids because women have more rights to their kids then men.
It's hard on us because women have been given so much power that they can throw us in jail by one phone call.
See what us men did in the past. It is biting us right in the arse lol.
Way to go pops
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Dreaming of a Better World
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xerdux
Bad-mannered
Famous Hero
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posted August 20, 2009 08:01 AM |
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Children have always rebelled against their parents. But the way they rebel has changed as the society has advanced.
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Carcity
Supreme Hero
Blind Sage
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posted August 20, 2009 07:38 PM |
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I havn't read the whole thread yet but I have one thing to say.
me and my brothers nave NEVER been hit on by our parents. personally I can't think of any bigger crime than hurting a defenseless child no matter what it has done. most kids who are in a young age want to do stuff to impress on and to make their parents proud. sometimes they might do wrong, and to teach the kids to not do it again will be to explain it to them and preventing them to do it again if necessary, but hitting the child just makes it worse and often results in a very rebelous teen. by hitting a child it will associate that thing with pain and fear. and that is a bad thing. treating kids right from the beginning results in very nice and kind kids.
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Why can't you save anybody?
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted August 20, 2009 09:24 PM |
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Edited by Aculias at 21:24, 20 Aug 2009.
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Well of course not Carcity.
They would go to jail for Child Abuse.
Just make sure you dont lose your computer or phone as punishment
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Dreaming of a Better World
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pei
Famous Hero
Fresh Air.
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posted August 26, 2009 12:14 AM |
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Once i thought people thought the way i thought...but they didnt.
Not everyone has the same codes & its very related to the enviroment and the culture of a person.
Here, in Argentina, not everyone thinks like me. Politicians are indeed representing the people. Most people are poor and uneducated.
But it wasnt always like this. Once, the poberty rates were very low. Then came some ups & downs. Argentinians are not patriots. They started selling votes & politicians welcomed these gestures.
Soon, there were lots of PLANS for poor people, but half (and i really mean half) of them were just "playing poor". High society ignores facts. Us (in the middle)suffer terrible consequences. Humble people are hard to find in here these days.
Example of argentinian life: yesterday i was about to park my car near the main square & one of these non-workers came to me. He asked me for money, money to "keep safe" the car. I told him no and he said "Well,its very dangeorus to leave ur car there u could find it torned apart."
Then i told him "After all these years that i have been giving you money, you never asked to clean my car or do something in exchange". He replied "We are here to recieve not to give".
Goverment has lots of plans that give poor people money & the amount they receive increases when the family has more members. Now i see everyday people that do nothing all day, they dont pay taxes & live f..cking so as to increase the pay.
So, politicians are ingeneering a mass of idiots that exchange one vote for one coke. They have reduced the budget for education A LOT. The pope appeared in the news some weeks ago, saying that Argentinian Poberty was an scandal, ill say its more like an evil plan as nothing is being done against it.
If you really want to hear something horrible, well, i hear this everyday, in the university, at my friends, at work,in the streets, everywhere.
People want to simple wipe out poors. Really, i mean people are really tired of rapes,killings,etc. Its not like other countrys, in here no one believes in justice, no one gives a sheet(not of paper). Many of these "poor" people spread fear in the streets, dressed with the best cloth they´ve robbed. People are afraid.
As for me...i dont think extermination is the way, only try to live my life but, honestly, everytime i go out with my girl i feel fear. U can get killed so fast & for such little things, even in the centre of the city.
Respect, honor and kindness are no where to be found. Kids are our hope.
And you talk about dogs...well dogs and humans resemble. I live it every day. Work is a continuous fight for territory and people work very hard or even two shifts and their sons go the ciber without regrets.
And now they want to legalize marihuana. In a few years, things will be worst & terrorists & narcotics will consume most of whats left, & the spoils will be left for any invasionist nation with promess of glittering gold. I wont dive deeper in these issues as people could take it as an offense.
So...returning to the topic... argentinians want things without earning them, the easy way, that is what they have learnt. Kids these days are foolish trolls and they need a good spanking from time to time.
BTW I would never joke about dicipline, but i have joked in the post above as trolls have regenerating abilities and kids dont.
Please, dont even try to understand my thoughts if you´re not in similar positions, everything depends on the point of view.
If any of my words sound pesimistic or angry is cause i just recently failed a test on linear programming, im gonna play wog until my eyes melt.
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pei
Famous Hero
Fresh Air.
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posted August 26, 2009 12:33 AM |
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Learning how to effectively discipline your child is an important skill that all heroes need to learn. Discipline is not the same as punishment. Instead, discipline has to do more with teaching, and involves teaching your child right from wrong, how to respect the rights of others, which behaviors are acceptable and which are not, with a goal of helping to develop a child who feels secure and loved, is self-confident, self-disciplined and knows how to control his impulses, and who does not get overly frustrated with the normal stresses of everyday life.
If you are having difficulty disciplining your child, it is important to remember that you may not be doing anything wrong. All children are different and have different temperaments and developmental levels and a style of discipline that may work with other children may not work with yours.
You should understand that how you behave when disciplining your child will help to determine how your child is going to behave or misbehave in the future. If you give in after your child repeatedly argues, becomes violent or has a temper tantrum, then he will learn to repeat this behavior because he knows you may eventually give in (even if it is only once in a while that you do give in). If you are firm and consistent then he will learn that it doesn't pay to fight doing what he is eventually going to have to do anyway. Some children, however, will feel like they won if they put off doing something that they didn't want to do for even a few minutes.
Be consistent in your methods of discipline and how you punish your child. This applies to all caregivers. It is normal for children to test their limits, and if you are inconsistent in what these limits are, then you will be encouraging more misbehavior and you dont want your children to be trollized...do you?
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