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| Thread: I accept your challenge! |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 24, 2010 10:47 PM |
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that's why I said efficient communication
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted February 25, 2010 06:07 PM |
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How about some numbers? Would you like to compile your information into a diagram? Let us say, resemblance to pillar theory's ideals compared to length of relationship.
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 25, 2010 08:03 PM |
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that would mean nothing.
and length of a relationship means nothing. we get married at different ages, and we die at different ages.
so if you get married at 20, die at 80, still married, being unhappy in your couple for 50 years, is it better than getting married at 20, dying at 50, and being happy with your partner the whole time?
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 25, 2010 08:14 PM |
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Quote:
How about some numbers? Would you like to compile your information into a diagram? Let us say, resemblance to pillar theory's ideals compared to length of relationship.
My research is qualitative, not quantitative.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted February 25, 2010 08:51 PM |
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Quote:
The method of my research has been twofold - the observation of successes and the observation of failures. Both among my friends and among others (people's parents, etc) there are successful and unsuccessful relationships. It is clear that whether a relationship is successful or not is not just a matter of chance - there are reasons why relationships fail, and there are ways of avoiding them. Most successful relationships have something in common, even if those in them do not necessarily realise it.
Is this you saying that pillar theory is based on a correlation of certain factors and success in relationships? Would you like to define a succesful relationship and a failed relationship? Can you make a diagram out of it?
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 25, 2010 09:51 PM |
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A successful relationship is one that is not terminated by either of the participants, unless done pre-emptively to prevent it from being terminated by something else.
A failed relationship is a relationship that is not successful.
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Eccentric Opinion
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veco
Legendary Hero
who am I?
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posted February 25, 2010 09:56 PM |
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Edited by veco at 21:56, 25 Feb 2010.
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Quote:
A successful relationship is one that is not terminated by either of the participants
That's a WIDE definition.
Does that mean that any relationship is succesful as long as it lasts?
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none of my business.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 26, 2010 12:19 AM |
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Well, I suppose I should add that it is enjoyable for both parties.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 26, 2010 02:21 PM |
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Edited by Fauch at 14:34, 26 Feb 2010.
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I would say more than enjoyable.
most of the time, 2 partners look more like acquaintances to each other than lovers (unless the relationship has just started, and that's often not even the case) a lot of couples seem to just cohabit under the same roof, and that's all...
saying it is successful when it hasn't been terminated is false. if people divorced as soon as they don't like each other anymore, it could be true, but often, they can't stand each other anymore, but don't divorce, for various reason. maybe they just don't want to face the social humiliation of a divorce. so instead, they just play, making it look like they are fine while destroying themselves.
successful relationship, I would say, if you consider your partner is the most important thing, and same for him.
you may have some higher priorities than him / her, and it may work, but you are taking a risk I would say. here in france, people usually consider work is a higher priority. I don't want a girlfriend making money, I want her to be available.
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted February 26, 2010 03:11 PM |
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So a succesful relationship is one that lasts untill it is pre-emptively broken by the participating parties so that the relationship won't be terminated by the death of one party? 
A succesful relationship is one that reaches its goals. I.E. If the goal is to get a one night stand, the relationship has been succesful if this goal is reached. If the goal is to co-exist for a long period of time in a family unit, bringing several levels of security security to the lives of both parties, the relationship has been succesful if this goal is reached.
The analogy about pillars makes it seem as if you're telling us to actively seek environments where our "virtues" are shown to people who might be window shopping for a pillar for their own household. You also seem to be telling us that when working by the pillar theory you shouldn't worry too much about actively searching for possible candidates for relationships, but then you bring up imagery of hard espionage work to find out if someone you did find has the right stuff for a succesful relationship. Care to explain this a bit better? The theory appears to clash with itself.
I am left to persume that your observations are from everyday life and with a relatively small group of subjects. You have presented your observations in a very vague manner, lacking in objective information and chuck full of subjective interpretations. Is this because of classic rhetorics?
Your research is insufficient and you need a diagram to fix the situation.
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted February 26, 2010 03:17 PM |
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A successful relationship is one that doesn't terminate and makes at least one of the parties annoyed at it.
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 26, 2010 05:13 PM |
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and if you eventually kill your partner? is it a successful relationship?
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted February 26, 2010 07:04 PM |
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Quote:
and if you eventually kill your partner? is it a successful relationship?
??? unless the one who was killed requested it, I'd say he/she was annoyed at it.
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 26, 2010 08:24 PM |
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keksi:
Quote:
If the goal is to get a one night stand, the relationship has been succesful if this goal is reached.
That's not a relationship. That's a one-night stand.
Quote:
The analogy about pillars makes it seem as if you're telling us to actively seek environments where our "virtues" are shown to people who might be window shopping for a pillar for their own household. You also seem to be telling us that when working by the pillar theory you shouldn't worry too much about actively searching for possible candidates for relationships, but then you bring up imagery of hard espionage work to find out if someone you did find has the right stuff for a succesful relationship.
There are several misunderstandings here. First, people aren't "window shopping". Many of them aren't actually seeking a relationship. But if they notice something good, they might take it. Second, it's not espionage work. It's just people you know.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted February 27, 2010 09:55 PM |
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Quote:
That's not a relationship. That's a one-night stand.
A one-night stand is a short term relationship.
Quote:
There are several misunderstandings here. First, people aren't "window shopping". Many of them aren't actually seeking a relationship. But if they notice something good, they might take it. Second, it's not espionage work. It's just people you know.
What if you don't know that many people? Does that mean that you are unfit for a relationship, or that you need to meet more people? Does this mean that the pillar theory is only for people who already know alot of people?
Let us say that the only two people I can claim to know are my mother and my sister. Should I go by the Oedipus Rex method or adhere to the Nero technique?
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 27, 2010 10:12 PM |
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted March 01, 2010 02:59 PM |
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But that would require me to go out of my way to make friends.
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted March 01, 2010 03:04 PM |
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Quote:
??? unless the one who was killed requested it, I'd say he/she was annoyed at it.
OH REALLY, YOU DON'T SAY?!?!
lol
I'm sure they were quite happy in the relationship that one would go and kill the other.
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~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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TheDeath
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
with serious business
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posted March 01, 2010 03:18 PM |
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LOL well not happy necessarily but sometimes people have death wishes, especially with incurable diseases and stuff. 
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The above post is subject to SIRIOUSness.
No jokes were harmed during the making of this signature.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 01, 2010 05:18 PM |
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Quote:
But that would require me to go out of my way to make friends.
Well, then, make them.
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Eccentric Opinion
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