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| Thread: I accept your challenge! |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted March 02, 2010 01:24 AM |
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Quote:
Or are you going for the buddhist thing about craving?
No, I'm going for eudaimonia.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted April 09, 2010 12:46 PM |
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Have you considered that one may learn and become socially and emotionally more mature from failed relationships and through that become a more well adjusted and happy person?
Edit: Have you considered the possibility that the cases observed might have had other factors at work within the relationships that ultimately made them work, instead of what you have included in your pillar theory?
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted May 14, 2010 12:47 AM |
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That would be too much of a coincidence. After all, there aren't that many factors.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted May 14, 2010 12:50 AM |
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Quote:
Have you considered that one may learn and become socially and emotionally more mature from failed relationships and through that become a more well adjusted and happy person?
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted May 14, 2010 01:00 AM |
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I might be exagerrating a little bit, but the entirity of civilization is a factor at work within human relationships and the responses to this factor varies between each individual. All of the factors at work within the individual are at play in here as well. Even factors outside of civilization, I.E. natural phenomena are a factor at work.
You're right. There aren't that many factors. I counted only three from my short rant. 
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted May 14, 2010 01:14 AM |
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"Human civilisation" and stuff like that is outside of the scope of this question. It's just vague nonsense. We're looking at the interactions of individuals here.
Quote:
Have you considered that one may learn and become socially and emotionally more mature from failed relationships and through that become a more well adjusted and happy person?
It's possible, but it depends on the person, and anyway it only works if one tries as hard as possible not to fail. If one goes into it with an attitude like "Oh, whatever", then it's not going to help at all.
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Eccentric Opinion
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted May 14, 2010 02:10 AM |
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Interactions of individuals are greatly affected by the civilization or lack there of. For example, one's mother might discourage a participant of a relationship and end up breaking them up or alternatively one's mother might encourage her progeny to keep at it and end up saving a failing relationship.
Meanwhile, on the technical side of things.
The pillar theorist runs into a problem: The introverted and shy people don't have clearly visible pillars even though they may be of great virtue. Is there a way of overcoming this problem?
It would seem that following the pillar theory would shut out plenty of potential methods by wich to meet a person of virtue. What is your view on this as the father of pillar theory?
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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Badasti
Hired Hero
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posted May 14, 2010 10:15 AM |
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I think the whole concept will differ from person to person.
While the theory may prove true in many cases, I think in many others it may not. Consider if every person alive adopted this theory, there will be many single people out there.
The success of a relationship will be determined by many factors, how the relationship starts in the first place is a completely different story. Basicly there are 3 ways you can catagorise people with various sub catagories which will make this list endless. When meeting a person basicly it's:
* Confident
* Neutral
* Shy
So 2 shy people are less likely to interract. In some cases they may find common ground if they are aware of eachothers shyness. In another case they may both be very good looking and write eachother off to avoid dissapointment. Hense why I say you get various sub catagories.
2 Confident people may find eachother arrogant. On the other hand they may embrace eachothers lifestyles without many boundries which may be subject to conflict. On the other hand it could work out perfectly since they are confident in eachothers judgement.
Neutral people are pretty content with where they are in life with only mild desires for interraction of the relationship kind. Their love life is based more on chance, with a high probability of settling with someone they are truely interested in.
There's probably millions of different circumstances that would influence a relationship starting or not. Choosing one method for human interraction would lead to a very bland world. In short something I live by is: "there is no one single solution to any question on earth" - Matthew Sandford (me  ). For some things it may appear that there is - but there is always a different way to come to the same conclusion, even if we don't know it yet.
So with the pillar theory and what I can understand of it - it may work for some people, for others it may not. It differs from person to person and the circumstances they live with. If everyone followed the pillar theory then who would give and who would take?
Some methods prove more successful than others but at the very end of the day, if there is no wrong answer then there cannot be a right answer. Without hatred we would never appreciate love and that concept applies to every aspect of life. So even the wrong answer is in fact the right answer since it makes us everything that we are in terms of a good thing and a bad thing.
In closing - You cannot logically determine it to be the best method in general. You can only make a choice based on your own personal opinion and experience. While there is nothing wrong with discussion about it and I reckon it's more than plausable to work with some people, I believe you will never be able to conclude that it is a suitable theory to follow for everyone or even the majority. There are simply too many probabilities beyond this.
And I just broke things off with my fiance. It was horrible :<
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 14, 2010 10:30 AM |
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I liked reading your post, though I didn't completely agree with everything.
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And I just broke things off with my fiance. It was horrible :<
How sad! What happened? [Dunno if the answer should be in here though].
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Living time backwards
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted May 14, 2010 02:00 PM |
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Quote:
It's possible, but it depends on the person, and anyway it only works if one tries as hard as possible not to fail. If one goes into it with an attitude like "Oh, whatever", then it's not going to help at all.
Wouldn't the "Oh, whatever" attitude lift up alot of the anguish that the relationship could cause, leaving more room for the good times?  It would appear that the "Oh, whatever" attitude would only serve eudaimonia even better.
Also, well written, good sir Badasti.
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted May 14, 2010 03:37 PM |
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Quote:
one's mother might discourage a participant of a relationship and end up breaking them up or alternatively one's mother might encourage her progeny to keep at it and end up saving a failing relationship
These are outside of pillar theory, which tells one how to find people. It does say some about how to manage a relationship, but other factors must of course be considered.
Quote:
The introverted and shy people don't have clearly visible pillars even though they may be of great virtue. Is there a way of overcoming this problem?
Then these people have to exercise the virtue of courage and stop being shy. I'm somewhat introverted myself, so it's no excuse.
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Eccentric Opinion
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted May 14, 2010 03:40 PM |
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Quote:
Then these people have to exercise the virtue of courage and stop being shy. I'm somewhat introverted myself, so it's no excuse.
Haha, but don't you give people a false idea of who you are, then? I mean, the extraverted you would be a façade, then, no?
And that would be deceit and perhaps set you up with the wrong person.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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Keksimaton
Promising
Supreme Hero
Talk to the hand
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posted May 14, 2010 03:42 PM |
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The mother is an example of a potential interfering factor on your observed cases.
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Noone shall pass, but no one besides him shall pass.
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 14, 2010 03:51 PM |
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@Dagoth
We choose our action in regards to our goals.
Our action only define who we are in the perception for others. A facade, can only be called so, if it's a temporary thing.
If I change actions, though not accordingly to what I want (happiness), but because I want something else, i.e. does something I disagree with, we could call it a facade.
Courage and shyness, to me, seems to be more of an emotional factor though. Not giving in to your emotions, unless you happens to agree with them in the first place, can never be a facade, just as much as it can never be a facade if I refuse to do what other tells me to.
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Living time backwards
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted May 14, 2010 03:54 PM |
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Quote:
@Dagoth
We choose our action in regards to our goals.
Our action only define who we are in the perception for others. A facade, can only be called so, if it's a temporary thing.
A shy person would not act according to how he feels. How is this not a façade?
So according to you, if a person keeps up a lie and never tells the truth about it, it is not a lie? It's only a lie when the truth comes out?
I disagree.
EDIT: I don't care about other people's perception.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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Azagal
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Smooth Snake
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posted May 14, 2010 04:17 PM |
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Keksi don't you think your energies are better invested posting in the One Piece RP than trying to convince a guy who wants to hold on to his theory which conviniently excuses one from having the courage to date people. I think they would .
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"All I can see is what's in front of me. And all I can do is keep moving forward" - The Heir Wielder of Names, Seeker of Thrones, King of Swords, Breaker of Infinities, Wheel Smashing Lord
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 14, 2010 04:21 PM |
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@Dagoth
Since you write you don't care about others perception, this will be in the perception of oneself.
You used the word feeling, do I live a facade whenever I don't follow my feelings? No, we have a consciouss choice upon which we decide. Feelings are merely inspiration as much as if you tell me to loose some weight.
Though, defining the degree of free will as the percentage of action done, which is according to ones will (wants), in the distribution of actions due to either emotinoal or will causes. This means feelings can as well be a burden.
In all cases, if I feel like to attack someone, yet I don't do it, I don't see it like I sacrificed something, like I lived behind a facade, because I did not want to attack someone, I just felt like it.
I don't understand how you can draw an analogi to lying and never telling the truth with not following ones emotions without question.
PS: Did you see I tried to make a picture of you in the member thread?
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Living time backwards
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DagothGares
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
No gods or kings
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posted May 14, 2010 08:33 PM |
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Quote:
You used the word feeling, do I live a facade whenever I don't follow my feelings?
Kind of, it's not you. You hold upa façade when you're nice to someone you don't like.
And restraining yourself is different from doing the opposite of what your intrinsic nature tells you, here, because shyness isn't inherently bad, unlike other urges, like fighting or insulting someone. So you may seem very outgoing, whilst you're not, see? For instance my ex thought I was very outgoing and confident, while I often have issues with precisely that.
And, no, I didn't see it.
EDIT: I like it, though.
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If you have any more questions, go to Dagoth Cares.
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mvassilev
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted May 15, 2010 03:40 AM |
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Dagoth:
You don't have to become extroverted, or even act like it. A lot of people are introverted and still manage to use pillar theory to display their virtues.
Keksi:
I'm pretty sure I controlled for the mother in my observed cases.
Az:
My theory doesn't excuse anyone from anything. Yes, it states that it's better not to date than to date poorly, but that's hardly the same thing.
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Eccentric Opinion
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ohforfsake
Promising
Legendary Hero
Initiate
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posted May 15, 2010 11:21 AM |
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@Dagoth
I did not choose the feeling. Thereby the feeling is not a result of me, but of my body and its interaction with the environment outside of the body. Following the feeling makes me as much 'me' as if I follow what a person tells me to do.
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Living time backwards
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