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| Thread: Are friendships temporary? |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 · «PREV |
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alcibiades
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
of Gold Dragons
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posted January 31, 2012 04:34 PM |
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I think friendships, as with everything else, needs to be nutured in order to thrive. If they are neglected, they will perish.
I had a very close (girl) friend during my universety years, we would do everything together, and always had a great time, we shared all the same interests, etc. Then towards the end of our university years her boyfriend left her, and she started changing a lot (I did too, probably, for all I know), and we started to drift apart. We shared an appartment at this point, but in the end she wanted me to move out which really hurt me.
A couple of years later we met up again through a common friend, and she told me she really missed me and wanted us to be friends again ... but it didn't really happen. I guess I can be a bit unforgiving, but also we had just moved on in different directions, and we didn't really have the same common ground anymore. So I don't see her anymore.
Funny thing was once a couple of years ago, several years after our split, suddenly I meet her on the street - in Mexico! That was pretty weird. What are the odds of meeting someone you now literally on the other side of the Earth.
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What will happen now?
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Nocturnal
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted January 31, 2012 05:40 PM |
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It's amazing she could say she wanted to become friends again after she kicked you out
"Oh, I've hurt you, stabbed you in the back, kicked you out of the apartment, but forget that and come back to me now that I want you again." 
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del_diablo
Legendary Hero
Manifest
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posted January 31, 2012 07:46 PM |
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No, but then again, what people call friends are just people they hang out with.
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Seraphim
Supreme Hero
Knowledge Reaper
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posted January 31, 2012 07:50 PM |
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Quote:
Are friends people you use to have fun for some period in your life and drop when you pass to another period and pick new ones?
Like many said before,this does not really have to be the case but in most cases it is.Friends are never really to be taken for real,unless u get to know them better.Otherwise,they will be strangers in disguise.
Quote:
Do you still see your old friends, and are close to them the same? Or did you experience this kind of things too?
I have experienced these types of things from these "Strangers".
Things like, "no there is no room for you in our appartment" eventhough there was room, or him/her passing through a street without even saying hello.
Each time,I was kinda amazed.
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blizzardboy
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Nerf Herder
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posted January 31, 2012 08:21 PM |
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I don't know if I'd call them temporary, but when circumstances push people in different directions the friendship is going to curl up and go dormant. The memories and the potential still exist (and a memory is something that exists in the present), but when you stop spending time around a person, they're gradually going to become more and more estranged. That's just how life works.
My personalized definition of a friend is somebody you're able to argue with in person and not feel it's going to cause lasting damage to the relationship. That's an indicator that your inhibitions have gone down and you're able to genuinely relax around them. Strangers or acquaintances are generally merely polite to each other and try to be agreeable to avoid an awkward situation. Friends chat about stuff they're genuinely interested in, laugh, and also bicker, but without suffering stress from it.
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"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
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Elvin
Admirable
Omnipresent Hero
Endless Revival
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posted January 31, 2012 08:35 PM |
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Not just anyone is willing to invest emotionally in maintaining and making a friendship work, be it in hard times, entering a relationship, changing a social circle, interests or.. anything really. And sometimes it's for the better. Others it is plain disappointing or even frustrating. True friends stay, life moves on. I can say though that friendships can be reforged even after they have grown cold or all but died out. It just takes some effort on both ends. If it's just you then it was not meant to last.
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H5 is still alive and kicking, join us in the Duel Map discord server!
Map also hosted on Moddb
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Smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted January 31, 2012 10:17 PM |
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Edited by Smithey at 22:18, 31 Jan 2012.
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People unlike animals are more complexed beings hence some of us are wolves while others are dogs (mate for life or sniff everything that passes by), friendships are relationships and need to be worked on...
Find a wolf and you'll have a friend for life, find a dog and you'll have someone to hang out with for a few years...
Lived on three continents, exchanged hundreds of friends, 90% of them are gone, the remaining 10% are friends for life and many of them are living all across the globe but it doesnt really matter with them...
What I'm saying is, you sound like you get easily attached and you give all you can give, just like a true friend should, dont change that, its rare and there are others like you out there, just be yourself and you will find the right people who are wolves just like you.
Those who aren't, accept them for what they are, there is no need to burn bridges just because they aren't wired in a same manner, adjusting expectations is enough....
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted February 01, 2012 12:51 AM |
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I was actually thinking, maybe those "friends" who betray you are actually in such desperate need for attention and so afraid that people might lose interest in them that they prefer stabbing them before being stabbed themselves. that would also explain why they don't do it until they find someone to replace you.
that could also apply to someone who loves you so much that she/he is afraid you might stop loving her/him.
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TheBaron
Promising
Known Hero
dreamer of dreams
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posted February 01, 2012 04:46 AM |
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Friend and family dynamics are so unique I think it might be impossible to categorically say yes or no to this question.
I have a friend - my oldest - and we have been close for 22 years now. I have known him since I was 4. During that time we have spent years apart, the longest break being 3 years, and sometimes it has not been the distance that has made us feel far apart. People grow and change, and one of the things we rarely do is acknowledge our own change and how that can affect the development a relationship.
As far as lovers and their effect on our friends go, well it's only natural I think. There's a bit of a biological imperative to bond closely to a sexual partner, and that feeling of closeness is hard to compete with. In my opinion, the best thing to do in those circumstances is not to try and be possessive of the friendship, as that leads to negative and jealous behaviours, but to try and understand and appreciate this addition (boyfriend/girlfriend) to your relationship's dynamic. Trying to bring this other person into the friendship fold will probably make your friend happy, as well as potentially yielding another awesome friend! I am now better friends with some of my friend's exs than I am with the original friend!!
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"My favorite" - Jean-
Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg.
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Drakon-Deus
Undefeatable Hero
Qapla'
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posted February 09, 2012 09:02 PM |
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Most of them are. I'm acquainted with lots of people but I only have 5-6 true friends, and I'm being generous with these numbers...
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richards9020
Tavern Dweller
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posted February 14, 2012 09:22 AM |
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I think no ,friendship is not temporary
it depends upon you...........
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