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| Thread: Cheating.... |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 · NEXT» |
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Smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted August 24, 2012 10:30 PM |
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Edited by Smithey at 22:33, 24 Aug 2012.
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Cheating....
link
UndercoverLovers.com, a dating website for married people seeking extra-marital affairs, has published a new survey revealing surprising differences in the cheating habits of the UK’s male and female philanderers.
Undercover Lovers questioned 4,000 of its members (2,000 male and 2,000 female) for its UK Adultery Survey 2012, in which the adulterous behaviour and attitudes of men and women are compared. The most astonishing fact to emerge is that Britain’s female adulterers are apparently more promiscuous than their male counterparts, having had on average 2.3 affair partners compared to the mere 1.8 of Undercover Lovers’ male members.
Undercover Lovers spokesperson Emily Pope comments: ‘The results of our survey challenge the commonly held view that men are necessarily more adulterous than women. Once they have made the huge decision to have an affair, women have far more opportunity to actually find someone to cheat with and are generally in control of deciding if and when to consummate the relationship once they do. It is a feature of all dating websites that women are spoilt for choice of male suitors.’
The survey also reveals dramatically different reasons between men and women for having an affair. Whilst men cited the pursuit of sexual excitement, boredom with their marriages and the need of an ego boost as their main reasons for cheating, women were more likely to be seeking emotional fulfilment, an improvement to their self esteem and romance when they strayed. Female adulterers are also far more prone to falling in love with their affair partner than their male equivalents.
Emily Pope says: ‘More and more neurological research is revealing that male and female brains are programmed differently when it comes to relationships. The results of our survey bear this out, with our adulteresses seemingly seeking something far more emotionally meaningful from their affairs than their male partners.’
Other intriguing facts to emerge from the survey are:
• The vast majority of male and female philanderers think that monogamy is an unnatural state for humans.
• Women are likely to be the first to get itchy feet in the marriage. Whilst unfaithful men do not have their first affair until almost 6 years of married life, on average female cheaters stray just 5 years after exchanging their wedding vows.
• The majority of UK adulterers still love their spouses and have no intention of getting divorced.
• Women are far more likely to tell someone else about their affair than men.
• Adulteresses tend to be significantly younger than adulterers.
• The vast majority of cheaters are having their affairs in secret, unbeknown to their husband or wife.
• Many adulterers are hypocrites! Over 40% of female cheaters and almost 30% of male cheaters would ask for a divorce if they discovered their spouse was having an affair.
The UK Adultery Survey 2012
How old are you?
Male: 42 years (Average)
Female: 37 years (Average)
How long had you been married before your first affair?
Male: 5.8 years (Average)
Female: 5.1 years (Average)
How many affair partners have you had?
Male: 1.8 partners (Average)
Female: 2.3 partners (Average)
What was your main reason for having an affair?
Male:
1. Sexual excitement
2. Bored with my marriage
3. An ego boost
4. Felt taken for granted
5. I had the opportunity
6. Arguments at home
Female:
1. Emotional fulfilment
2. Improve my self-esteem
3. Seeking romance
4. Felt taken for granted
5. Sexual excitement
6. Loneliness
Do you still love your spouse?
Male: Yes: 67% No: 33%
Female: Yes: 76% No: 24%
Do you love your current affair partner?
Male: Yes: 27% No: 73%
Female: Yes: 57% No: 43%
Does your spouse know about your adultery?
Male: Yes: 7% No: 93%
Female: Yes: 4% No: 96%
Have you told anyone else about your affair?
Male: Yes: 17% No: 83%
Female: Yes: 41% No: 59%
Do you plan to stay married to your spouse?
Male: Yes: 81% No: 19%
Female: Yes: 84% No: 16%
What would you do if you discovered your spouse was having an affair?
Male: Divorce 29% Stay Married 71%
Female: Divorce 41% Stay Married 59%
How often do you meet your affair partner per month?
Male: 2.3 times (Average)
Female: 1.9 times (Average)
Do you still have sex with your spouse?
Male: Yes: 36% No: 64%
Female: Yes: 28% No: 72%
Who is best in bed, your illicit lover or your spouse?
Male: Lover: 92% Wife: 8%
Female: Lover: 73% Husband:27%
How old is your affair partner compared to you?
Male: Older: 23% Younger:77%
Female: Older: 68% Younger:32%
Is monogamy a natural state for humans?
Male: Yes: 6% No: 94%
Female: Yes: 11% No: 89%
What does HC think of cheating ?
1. Would you forgive a cheating bf/gf ?
2. What is considered cheating to you ?
3. Is flirting cheating ?
4. Is having feelings for another girl/guy cheating if you never act upon it ?
5 Is phone sex/sexting/webcam sex cheating ?
6. Is there any difference between a kiss, makin out, having sex ? Would you forgive one or all ?
7. One night stands as opposed to long term affairs ?
8. When is it ok to cheat if ever ?
9 Have you ever cheated and why ?
10. Do you think you will ever cheat and why ?
ps- this is a discussion only, no judging others please !!!
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Seraphim
Supreme Hero
Knowledge Reaper
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posted August 24, 2012 10:40 PM |
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Quote:
1. Would you forgive a cheating bf/gf ?
No.
2. What is considered cheating to you ?
Going out, having sexual intercouse, lying about secret dates.
3. Is flirting cheating ?
Its a start, but not necessarily.
4. Is having feelings for another girl/guy cheating if you never act upon it ?
Yes. Not acting upon it is just because of the said persons character.
5 Is phone sex/sexting/webcam sex cheating ?
Yes. Not necessarily if done to earn money.
6. Is there any difference between a kiss, makin out, having sex ? Would you forgive one or all?
Yes there is a difference. For me, kisses are the only one that I would forgive.
7. One night stands as opposed to long term affairs ?,
Dunno what you mean.
8. When is it ok to cheat if ever ?
Never. Just saying it upfront that one is not interested is enough. No snowing need to cheat.
Cheating is a just a smeary way of showing something you could say upfront,
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Vindicator
Supreme Hero
Right Back Extraordinaire
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posted August 24, 2012 10:43 PM |
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1. Would you forgive a cheating bf/gf ? Depends on level of cheating and how close they were
2. What is considered cheating to you ? Sex, loving/liking other person more than you
3. Is flirting cheating ? Depends on extent of it
4. Is having feelings for another girl/guy cheating if you never act upon it ? No
5 Is phone sex/sexting/webcam sex cheating ? Yes
6. Is there any difference between a kiss, makin out, having sex ? Would you forgive one or all ? Kiss is fine, making out debatable
7. One night stands as opposed to long term affairs ? Don' get the question
8. When is it ok to cheat if ever ? Never
9 Have you ever cheated and why ? No
10. Do you think you will ever cheat and why ? No, too afraid of the consequences
____________
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Smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted August 24, 2012 10:53 PM |
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Edited by Smithey at 22:55, 24 Aug 2012.
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Quote:
5 Is phone sex/sexting/webcam sex cheating ?
Yes. Not necessarily if done to earn money.
LOL, Seraphim you're bloody brilliant !!!
Quote:
7. One night stands as opposed to long term affairs ?,
Dunno what you mean.
Having a gf and hookin up with a random girl for one night only as opposed to having a lover (hooking up with the same girl over and over again) - affair/secret relationship or however you wanna call it...
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted August 24, 2012 11:28 PM |
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Edited by meroe at 23:30, 24 Aug 2012.
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1. Would you forgive a cheating bf/gf ?
No. Never.
2. What is considered cheating to you ?
Any form of emotional/physical/sexual contact with another person.
3. Is flirting cheating ?
Well it depends on the couple's dynamic's. Many people flirt, literally with everyone, but wouldn't dream of leaving their partner or being unfaithful. And their partners understand this. Flirting is a grey area though, as it can easily be misunderstood. Unless you and your partner are totally comfortable with it (in a social setting), its best not to ... mainly because it can really hurt your partners feelings.
4. Is having feelings for another girl/guy cheating if you never act upon it?
No. We all, at times, find others attractive etc. Just liking someone enough (like a crush) isn't cheating, its thinking about cheating with that person and maybe doing things to enable that, is.
5 Is phone sex/sexting/webcam sex cheating ?
Hell yes. I am gathering you mean with someone other than your partner. Yes. Absolutely.
6. Is there any difference between a kiss, makin out, having sex ? Would you forgive one or all ?
Well there are many different types of kiss. There is the social kiss when meeting good friends, which isn't cheating, and therefore there is no need to forgive that, but snogging someone else aka making out is. Having sex is also cheating, obviously.
7. One night stands as opposed to long term affairs ?
Both are cheating, there is no difference. Once you have crossed that sexual contact boundary it is cheating no matter how long it lasted. You have now disrespected your partner.
8. When is it ok to cheat if ever ?
It is never okay to cheat. If your marriage/relationship is bad (for whatever reason), you get out. Sneaking around behind someones back is just so dishonest. You have to remember that you married/partnered up with your partner for a reason (being in love). Not all relationships last the test of time, some have natural conclusions and regardless of how difficult it is, you need to face it, always be honest and true and move on.
9 Have you ever cheated and why ?
No.
10. Do you think you will ever cheat and why ?
No. I find this type of behavior truly vile. I never wanted to be cheated on, therefore I will never cheat. Relationships need work, lots of communication and honesty. You cannot bank on anything not happening in the future, but a good person doesn't play around with the affections of others, certainly not those they profess to love.
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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william
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
LummoxLewis
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posted August 24, 2012 11:37 PM |
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1. Would you forgive a cheating bf/gf ?
There's a lot of things I could forgive my girlfriend for but cheating isn't one of them. If things are going that bad in a relationship then they could just end the relationship and then do as they please after that. Cheating just causes fights and it's like a huge slap in the face for the whole relationship, especially if it's a relationship going on for a few years. Like I said, if it's going that badly, just end it and then nobody gets hurt.
2. What is considered cheating to you ?
Anything sexual with anybody else. If they are a flirty type then whatever, just as long as it doesn't led to sex or kissing then it's fine.
3. Is flirting cheating ?
Like I said above, if it doesn't led to sex then it's fine. I have no problem if my girlfriend were to be flirty because she might be just that type of person. If it goes too far then it's a problem, obviously.
4. Is having feelings for another girl/guy cheating if you never act upon it ?
No. If that even happens then it means the person you're with isn't the right one, clearly.
5 Is phone sex/sexting/webcam sex cheating ?
Yes. It's no different if they were to have physical sex with another person.
6. Is there any difference between a kiss, makin out, having sex ? Would you forgive one or all ?
A kiss isn't that bad. It isn't as bad as sex but I'd still regard it as cheating unless I actually said the other person could do it (like if you were with your mates and it's a game or something, which has happened to me).
7. One night stands as opposed to long term affairs ?
Both cheating.
8. When is it ok to cheat if ever ?
No time is okay. Just end the relationship if you feel the need to cheat. It clearly means you're unhappy.
9 Have you ever cheated and why ?
No I haven't.
10. Do you think you will ever cheat and why ?
No.
____________
~Ticking away the moments that
make up a dull day, Fritter and
waste the hours in an off-hand
way~
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Smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted August 24, 2012 11:48 PM |
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Edited by Smithey at 23:51, 24 Aug 2012.
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Quote:
PS: Smithey I believe there was something about a friend of yours who were cheating on another friend of yours. How did it turn out? Are you still alive?
She is my friend he was a "friend of circumstances" (we hanged out coz he was her bf/hubby), emm they got divorced after whole 7 months, she has a new bf now, ex never found out, the dude she cheated with is 35-ish and has 2 kids, he's still "happily married", I survived coz after they announced their divorce I was no longer feeling like snow coz it didnt matter anymore... kinda 
EDIT - here's a funny one, us guys are way dumber than girls when it comes to cheating, as it seems 96% of cheating women get away with it !!!
Women are better liars than men
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted August 24, 2012 11:58 PM |
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Quote:
EDIT - here's a funny one, us guys are way dumber than girls when it comes to cheating, as it seems 96% of cheating women get away with it !!!
It probably has a lot to do with the fact that the women eventually leave their husbands for their new lover, and that is the first time the poor sod finds out about it.
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted August 25, 2012 12:00 AM |
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@Will
Quote:
There's a lot of things I could forgive my girlfriend for but cheating isn't one of them. If things are going that bad in a relationship then they could just end the relationship and then do as they please after that. Cheating just causes fights and it's like a huge slap in the face for the whole relationship, especially if it's a relationship going on for a few years. Like I said, if it's going that badly, just end it and then nobody gets hurt.
What about relationships that last for 10/20/30 years, do you just end it if you hit a rough patch and after knowing the person for half your life ? What if there are kids involved ?
Its a well known fact that some people claim that cheating actually made their relationship stronger, made them realize why they love the person they're with, brought back the fire and excitment into their sex life...
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Smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted August 25, 2012 12:02 AM |
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Quote:
Quote:
EDIT - here's a funny one, us guys are way dumber than girls when it comes to cheating, as it seems 96% of cheating women get away with it !!!
It probably has a lot to do with the fact that the women eventually leave their husbands for their new lover, and that is the first time the poor sod finds out about it.
From the survey in the op
Do you plan to stay married to your spouse?
Male: Yes: 81% No: 19%
Female: Yes: 84% No: 16%
81% of women at least plan on staying with their spouse
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted August 25, 2012 12:08 AM |
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Edited by meroe at 00:09, 25 Aug 2012.
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I take these survey's with a pinch of salt to be honest.
And I fail to see how having an affair strengthens a relationship. No what happens is, the partner finds a way to forgive. I have seen it with friends of my parents. It didn't strengthen the marriage, the guy (who was the one having the affairs) just ended up becoming more and more subjugated. You see the stupid idiot never wanted to leave his wife, but for some stupid reason he couldn't keep his pants on. All the women he had affairs with where the spit of his wife. Go figure.
They are still married and he has been faithful now for years and years. But despite the fact that his wife never left him, doesn't mean she will ever trust him again, and he knows it. He has spent these years bending over backwards to try and please her.
He ruined his own marriage. What a total ass.
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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gnomes2169
Honorable
Undefeatable Hero
Duke of the Glade
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posted August 25, 2012 12:17 AM |
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1. No, I don't think I could...
2. Intercourse, blowing me off to spend time with someone else, making out.
3. I flirt constantly so... It would sort of be hypocritical to say "Yes", wouldn't it? No, I would not say so.
4. Absolutely not. Emotions are nothing without action.
5. Er, yeah? Pretty much... plus, it's icky...
6. I would forgive a light kiss (some friends are just rather close and I would hate to break that kind of relationship), but any more is going too far.
7. Both are cheating, and there is honestly little difference between them in my eye.
8. No, just end it if your relationship is that emotionally barren...
9. No.
10. Hahahahaha, hell no. I invest myself fully in one person if I'm in a relationship, and I will never break their trust as long as they give it to me.
____________
Yeah in the 18th century, two inventions suggested a method of measurement. One won and the other stayed in America.
-Ghost destroying Fred
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Smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted August 25, 2012 12:18 AM |
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Edited by Smithey at 00:18, 25 Aug 2012.
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Quote:
I take these survey's with a pinch of salt to be honest.
And I fail to see how having an affair strengthens a relationship. No what happens is, the partner finds a way to forgive. I have seen it with friends of my parents. It didn't strengthen the marriage, the guy (who was the one having the affairs) just ended up becoming more and more subjugated. You see the stupid idiot never wanted to leave his wife, but for some stupid reason he couldn't keep his pants on. All the women he had affairs with where the spit of his wife. Go figure.
They are still married and he has been faithful now for years and years. But despite the fact that his wife never left him, doesn't mean she will ever trust him again, and he knows it. He has spent these years bending over backwards to try and please her.
He ruined his own marriage. What a total ass.
I dont know, there are many things out there Meroe, with some it messes things up with others it doesnt, there are many things I dont understand but cheating/swinging/multiple wives/do what you want as long as you're coming home at the end/bunch of other stuff works for millions of people so I tend not to judge, and while I was certain I wont cheat I understand that its not something I can know for sure, also the more I get exposed to things the more I see marriages failing so the whole soul mate thingy seems less and less reasonable with each day...
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted August 25, 2012 12:27 AM |
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Edited by meroe at 00:28, 25 Aug 2012.
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It comes down to personal culpability, honesty and integrity. I am aware that expecting to find 'the one' is maybe a bit silly. But I also don't believe in just jumping into relationships without really getting to know someone for a while.
This hook up culture now really doesn't help or prepare people for the responsibility of having a long term, monogamous and honest relationship with someone. I see it with friends, its like whatever happens to catch their eye next.
I grew up in a strictly Roman Catholic family, where we were all literally expected to be married by 16. And you remained married to that person for the rest of your life, regardless. Now I never held those views, but I really do not want to be spending my life going from one relationship to the other. I always knew I wanted to find someone I could trust, fall in love and blah blah. If not, I would rather be on my own.
I guess its just a personality thing.
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 25, 2012 12:31 AM |
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Edited by Fauch at 00:43, 25 Aug 2012.
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did ohforf answered for me already?
1. Would you forgive a cheating bf/gf ?
It's hard to say. rationally thinking, I don't see something really bad with it, but emotionally, I can't guess what I would feel.
2. What is considered cheating to you ?
not sure. the secret maybe? well lying
3. Is flirting cheating ?
just flirting? that doesn't seem too bad
4. Is having feelings for another girl/guy cheating if you never act upon it ?
why? it's something normal. the contrary could be true for a couple years, but probably not much more.
5 Is phone sex/sexting/webcam sex cheating ?
I suppose I would worry if I didn't know about it.
6. Is there any difference between a kiss, makin out, having sex ? Would you forgive one or all ?
rationally thinking, I see nothing wrong here
7. One night stands as opposed to long term affairs ?
err... whatever you like most lol
8. When is it ok to cheat if ever ?
well, if I see nothing wrong with what people call cheating, is that still cheating?
9 Have you ever cheated and why ?
no
10. Do you think you will ever cheat and why ?
that depends on what my partner would call cheating of course. if I really loved someone, I would respect her of course, so that involves no cheating.
overall, I find that whole love relationship kinda strange, how people think they own their partner. as ohforf said, it's her own life, she's not my thing. as long as she respects me, doesn't betray, what she does when she isn't with me is really none of my business, unless she wants to talk about it.
I also doubt that monogamy is normal. it most likely just depend on people. there is nothing wrong with monogamy, what is wrong is trying to enforce it. you might say that nothing forces you to be monogamous, but good luck finding a partner who accept that and isn't a prostitute.
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Smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted August 25, 2012 12:32 AM |
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Quote:
It comes down to personal culpability, honesty and integrity. I am aware that expecting to find 'the one' is maybe a bit silly. But I also don't believe in just jumping into relationships without really getting to know someone for a while.
This hook up culture now really doesn't help or prepare people for the responsibility of having a long term, monogamous and honest relationship with someone. I see it with friends, its like whatever happens to catch their eye next.
I grew up in a strictly Roman Catholic family, where we were all literally expected to be married by 16. And you remained married to that person for the rest of your life, regardless. Now I never held those views, but I really do not want to be spending my life going from one relationship to the other. I always knew I wanted to find someone I could trust, fall in love and blah blah. If not, I would rather be on my own.
I guess its just a personality thing.
I tend to agree... mark this day on your calendar woman 
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted August 25, 2012 12:35 AM |
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Edited by meroe at 00:35, 25 Aug 2012.
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Quote:
overall, I find that whole love relationship kinda strange, how people think they own their partner. as ohforf said, it's her own life, she's not my thing. as long as she respects me, doesn't betray, what she does when she isn't with me is really none of my business, unless she wants to talk about it.
Yeah what you just said here, doesn't indicate a relationship, it talks of a friendship - two very different things.
If you are in a 'relationship' where neither one of you are faithful and live your own life, doing whatever you feel like without including the other = not a relationship.
EDIT:
OMGoodness, Smithey agreed with me. I feel faint.
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Smithey
Promising
Supreme Hero
Yes im red, choke on it !!!
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posted August 25, 2012 12:41 AM |
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Quote:
overall, I find that whole love relationship kinda strange, how people think they own their partner. as ohforf said, it's her own life, she's not my thing. as long as she respects me, doesn't betray, what she does when she isn't with me is really none of my business, unless she wants to talk about it.
Most people are territorial beings (Including me), Im not sure whether its a biological thing or a religion thing, I think religion would be the right answer...
It's a very progressive way of seeing things, nice for both you and Forfy  (I probably envy you)
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meroe
Supreme Hero
Basically Smurfette
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posted August 25, 2012 12:44 AM |
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Quote:
Quote:
overall, I find that whole love relationship kinda strange, how people think they own their partner. as ohforf said, it's her own life, she's not my thing. as long as she respects me, doesn't betray, what she does when she isn't with me is really none of my business, unless she wants to talk about it.
Most people are territorial beings (Including me), Im not sure whether its a biological thing or a religion thing, I think religion would be the right answer...
It's a very progressive way of seeing things, nice for both you and Forfy (I probably envy you)
Smithey I don't think they are talking from experience. Its very easy to say these things when you haven't fallen madly in love with someone.
____________
Meroe is definetely out, sweet
as she sounds sometimes, she'd
definetely castrate you with a
rusted razror and forcefeed
your genitals to you in a
blink of an eye - Kipshasz
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Fauch
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
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posted August 25, 2012 12:47 AM |
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which religion? Elodin's one? the one I read said that love involves not considering your spouse like your possession.
but yeah, we tend to be territorial, most likely because we feel threatened.
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