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| Thread: Cat Bathing as a Martial Art |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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bort
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Discarded foreskin of morality
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posted October 19, 2002 05:57 PM |
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Um... do you mean that you wrap your pills in bacon before you take them or that it's difficult to get you to take them?
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KittenAngel
Supreme Hero
Lee's wifey
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posted October 19, 2002 06:05 PM |
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thats it is hard to get me to take pills LMAO
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Never wear anything that panics
the cat.
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Celfious
Promising
Legendary Hero
From earth
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posted October 19, 2002 07:36 PM |
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It's hard for me to pass up a handful of mysterious pill's. One time I woke 2 day's later finding out friend drove me through the slum's of america ISO.
anyways
We gave the cat valume once in ice cream for a car ride, unfortunatly she fell into the bowl and flooded the carrier with ice cream.
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Oldtimer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Please leave a message after..
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posted October 19, 2002 08:31 PM |
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When I tried to bathe Cat it quickly turned from the martial arts to the marital arts.
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<PLEASE DO NOT WAKE THE OLD MAN!>
"Zzzz...Zzzz...Zzzz..."
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tuapui
Famous Hero
Poetic Psycho Baby BlackDragon
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posted October 20, 2002 10:55 AM |
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Of course, she did you in on the martial arts as well. So... how many stitches?
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 <<<Hy
peractive  Do not touch.
Highly Psychotically Poetic.
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2Xtremetotake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted June 27, 2003 05:52 PM |
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oldtimer you old pervert.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Vadskye91
Promising
Supreme Hero
Back again
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posted April 16, 2004 04:59 PM |
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ROFL!
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Knowledge is power...
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AmrasMinyatur
Adventuring Hero
Elven Guardian
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posted April 18, 2004 03:14 AM |
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gshgshahhaahhah
awesoime!
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frostwolf
Famous Hero
livin' in a bottle of vodka
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posted April 18, 2004 09:44 PM |
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This is a nice thing to do...
After finally recovering from permanently scarring injuries and massive blood loss caused by cat, go back and reveange;
Get the cat( again ) and gently place it in the microwave. Close the door to the microwave oven. Don't turn it on at first, wait a few minutes as enjoy, as the cat gets very nervous from beeing trapped. WARNING: After turning on the owen, what you will see is the equivalent of the effect of radiation on the human body caused from nuclear explosion. Not for the faint harted!! DO NOT READ IF YOU LOVE CATS!!
Now, start the owen. After about 10 seconds, the cat will start squirming. After 30 seconds it will suffer from radiation poisoning, which would kill it in around a month or less, if set free. After 1 minute, it's intestines and lungs will be a little crispy. This will usually kill it, if not it will sterelizeing it and leaving it to a slow painfull death. In about another 30 seconds, it starts screaming and kicking like crazy( make sure the door is really sealed). After 1 minute, it will start twitching and bleeding from the mouth due to radiation. At 2 minutes you can witnes all types of seizures imaginable. It will still be barely alive, it will be twiching and it's pupils will be extremly dilated. At 3 minutes it will be almost dead. The smell will make the best mortician throw up, so you must have a gas mask or some kind of breathing aid. The last 2 minutes will be the culmination of these 5 minutes of torture. It's eyes will literally pop out, it's fur will curl and blood will start to ooze all over the place. Do NOT clean the microwave, just get rid of it.
By the way, I was told this by a friend, I didn't do it. In fact, I have never even so much as hurt a fly in my life, yet alone a cat. I am an animal lover and I do love cats. I just wrote this as a fact, I am not sadistic or malicious by nature and would never ever to this to any creature.
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What can you expect from a world where everybody lives because they're too afraid to commit suicide?
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Vadskye91
Promising
Supreme Hero
Back again
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posted April 19, 2004 04:31 PM |
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THAT WAS GROSS! Poor cat! 
Your friend is mean! 
Edit: ooh, look at the pretty colors
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Knowledge is power...
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Zephyr
Hired Hero
Patiently waiting
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posted April 20, 2004 07:56 AM |
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Hmmm...? Wonder if they make a human size microwave so someone who would actually do this could experience all these wonderful things himself?
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The one who seeks to pluck the stars will miss the jewels at his feet.
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Marelt_Ekiran
Promising
Famous Hero
Watcher of All
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posted April 20, 2004 07:09 PM |
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That's something new... I thought the cat would just die from enzyme failure because of boiling blood and intracellular fluids. But this is a whole lot more interesting. Thanks for the information.
As for the mansized microwave, that is also a great idea. I've been looking for a cheap and efficient execution mechanism for ages now. Any volunteers here?
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Perception is everything.
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Lith-Maethor
Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
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posted April 20, 2004 07:15 PM |
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'raises hand'
i have a few 'volunteers' for you... but it still may be too merciful for them
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You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.
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Vadskye91
Promising
Supreme Hero
Back again
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posted April 20, 2004 07:16 PM |
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Yeah, that'd be great. It's even slightly more painful than the electric chair!
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Knowledge is power...
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Marelt_Ekiran
Promising
Famous Hero
Watcher of All
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posted April 20, 2004 07:58 PM |
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I was thinking of having Zephyr volunteer, since she brought it up, but decided not to. I've always been a weakhearted towards Aerie's avatar.
So who are those volunteers of yours, Lith-Maethor? Remember that this is still the test-phase, so I can't guarantee the results.
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Perception is everything.
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2Xtremetotake
Promising
Supreme Hero
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posted April 20, 2004 08:31 PM |
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Lets just throw all the mods in the microwave...
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Lith-Maethor
Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
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posted April 20, 2004 08:44 PM |
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yeah! down with the mods!!!
'looks around'
...ermm... guys... i was just kidding?
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You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.
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Dingo
Responsible
Legendary Hero
God of Dark SPAM
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posted October 12, 2004 05:37 AM |
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Call me Old Fashioned, but I use the Microwave to cook food.
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The Above Post/Thread/Idea Is CopyRighted by, The Dingo Corp.
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TheRealDeal
Promising
Supreme Hero
Foobum* of Justice!
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posted October 12, 2004 11:16 AM |
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I just noticed that the 2 jokes on page one are from a recieved email(they both admit it) and they still get a QP? I think there is something your not telling us ^^
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TitaniumAlloy
Honorable
Legendary Hero
Professional
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posted October 12, 2004 02:11 PM |
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notice this thread starts in 2002, then one post is in 2003, then the next 2004
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John says to live above hell.
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